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I just want to say that my favorite part of TROS is that JJ Abrams is willing to spend time on blowing up aN, entire planet for cheap emotional pathos he undoes, thus making the millions of people who did die on the planet have no weight for viewers. This is closely followed by the fact that he had a super interesting concept with "You can literally create powerful force users in a vat and is Snoke any different than a droid" but instead spent time on having the Knights of Ren pose on a mountain like a music video for a B-list metal act. After this is the fact Tattooine is never once said during the sequel trilogy so the ending is incomprehensible to anyone who didnt see the previous films, or they just assumed Jakku is Tattooine which is hard to argue against at this point.
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Jan 26, 2020 11:57
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Could have done american midwest planet if JJ really wanted a film about gobbling up cultural detritus.
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Jan 27, 2020 02:08
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Remember how in TROS you can suddenly just force heal peoples fatal wounds? Would have been neat if the Jedi of the past thousand years knew that.
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Jan 27, 2020 05:36
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Sith is stored in the balls
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Jan 27, 2020 23:54
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RBC posted:what does palpatines dick and balls look like Have you heard the story of Darth Gigantus, the hung?
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Jan 28, 2020 03:53
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Its not like he was married or had any long-term partner ever shown, and hes a popular figure. Sheevs out there on the cover of the Galactic Daily getting photographed with two Twiliks jiggling his death stars and his PR is running overtime at this scandal that there werent three there.
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Jan 28, 2020 04:50
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<gestures at crotch>You are about to witness the power of this fully armed and operational battle station.
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Jan 28, 2020 10:27
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I really liked how JJ felt we needed to introduce force healing in a scene that served no narrative purpose whatsoever as its used twice more in the film but with different rules each time.
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Jan 28, 2020 16:41
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Scrub-Niggurath posted:If JJ had any balls he would’ve blown up Coruscant in TFA, none of this “oh they blew up the galactic capital BUT DONT WORRY it’s a new planet that you haven’t heard of before” bullshit They arent even willing to say the word "Tattooine" in the sequels and you think JJ would find the balls to blow up coruscant?
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Feb 1, 2020 05:07
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Emrikol posted:I wanna see the Jedi with the foresight to carry a backup saber. Given how lightsaber fighting works when youre disarmed youre usually disarmed
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Feb 11, 2020 03:12
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Tulip posted:P much every star wars film is made worse by the context of other star wars films. The Christmas Special wouldnt be half as fun without the other films
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Feb 14, 2020 16:22
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Squizzle posted:tfa didnt just have phasma, it also had this fucker who gave me immediate “trying to do a bobafett” vibes This character isnt in the movie, stop lying. Oh my god how much of that movie is immediately forgettable sludge?
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Feb 20, 2020 15:19
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CainFortea posted:Okay, but someone making a movie hoping that China will give a poo poo about it might make choices based on their idea of what chinese viewers might object to. Their first mistake was making TFA
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Feb 27, 2020 04:32
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nine-gear crow posted:Give me a full loving Palpatine chorus line all doing synchronized high kicks to recruit Rey to the Dark Side. That would redeem the whole movie. Springtime for Palpatine!
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Mar 2, 2020 07:05
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Turns out sheev left lots of genetic material, all over the galaxy
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Mar 2, 2020 11:27
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FunkyAl posted:
<gestures to a bin filled with 10 dollar paperbacks> dive in buddy, its in there somewhere
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Mar 5, 2020 08:19
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Disney needs to give the people what they want, Full Frontal Sith
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Mar 5, 2020 11:39
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Saint Drogo posted:nvm the lightsabre, remember when we thought this character would have reasons to exist? Shes in all 3 films too. Its great
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Mar 5, 2020 12:24
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Even if you assume Maz Kanata fell on hard times which is why shes slumming it in ROS, you basically have to accept shell get a new bar and closer government ties to gently caress up future workers
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Mar 6, 2020 04:01
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Sure but they gain something from it. Kylo is just begging to be evil, like he lives in a world where if you are good good stuff happens to you and he wants some reason to do bad things because "easy rewards" or "has a thirst for horrible ideology" just arent things that he can process
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Mar 6, 2020 05:07
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A Gnarlacious Bro posted:the ridiculous antics of the evil sorcerer and necromancer sheev palpatine as he schemes his way to the throne of the space kingdom are the best part of Star Wars. I really like the story of his noble knight born from nothing and reduced to but a suit of walking armor finding his humanity at the end even as the black magics destroy him. Not as big a fan about the later tale of a barkeep who murders employees who talk back to them.
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Mar 6, 2020 05:57
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While I like it, your idea is also unfairly weighted towards "yeah, thatd be a good change" because almost any idea, down to palpatine doing a little soft shoe number called "Rey, baby, Ill make you a Star (Wars)", would have been an improvement.
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Mar 6, 2020 06:14
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nine-gear crow posted:Reason #978979089798908989809 Rise of Skywalker sucks: No Palpatine villain song. Palpatine: The senates so obsessed With their legal process Its hard to pass a law on Coruscant Power should be more witty Power should be more pretty Oh whats the word? Anakin: Unlimited? Palpatine: Exactly!
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Mar 6, 2020 08:25
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@ Disney trying to run the "PALPATINE FUCKS NOW" horse back in the barn by clarifying that Rey's dad was just a Sheev clone too.
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Is your daddy named sheev, cause I wanna palpate those curves
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Mar 12, 2020 06:20
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Ree-Anne is the only way my brain can say it, like someone copied the VHS tape of the name Lianne one too many times.
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Apr 8, 2020 02:03
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Theres this listless woman who has shown no interests or motivation of her own whose squatting in a dead skywalkers house then stole their name and lives as a NEET
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Apr 18, 2020 12:15
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Ghost Leviathan posted:What Star Wars needs is more giant robot fights. <title credits begin to a slow sad rendition of rules of nature>
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Apr 19, 2020 10:06
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GokuGoesSSJ3 posted:I feel like I need to admit at the beginning of RoS when tie fighters are yet again chasing the millennium falcon as someone shoots at them from a turret I was really hoping it would crash and be destroyed so I would never have to see that scene redone again. It would've been an interesting start to the movie too, but the toys don't sell themselves! They fake you out with another ship replacing the falcon for one scene and then "lol nope back to the MILLENIUM FALCON! Isnt it cool our sequel trilogy heroes have no identity???"
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May 19, 2020 09:26
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nine-gear crow posted:It's even worse than that. You don't see the Falcon when Rey says its a piece of garbage and drags Finn towards the quadjumper, so you're left with the momentary feeling that the movie might establish itself with a proper identity and then NO MOTHERFUCKER, MILLENNIUM FALCON, NOSTALGIA FOREVER! Thats a different movies fakeout about the falcon. They do it twice, once in each JJ film, because JJ Abrams is a fraud and Disney assembled some very bad people to steer the project
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May 20, 2020 11:42
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Cease to Hope posted:poetry, rhymes, etc My Name is Abrams and Im Here to Say The Original Trilogy in a Much Worse Way
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May 20, 2020 13:55
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Im still flummoxed by the whole bit of them finding the Falcon because its another one of those things where the sequel trilogy expects you to intensely identify with the OT but not remember anything that happened in it or treat humans as having a society apart from it. A much better use of the falcon would be to have it show up later amongst Hans collection of ships on the Nirvana(?) he pilots in the movie (or ideally) as a background piece in a museum wideshot as a subtle nod. Barudak fucked around with this message at 01:04 on May 21, 2020 |
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May 21, 2020 01:01
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nine-gear crow posted:It got six seasons and it ended on its own terms even after ABC begged them to keep it going for another like three years. Lost went out on basically at the top of the world. It has a real bad ending but nobody at ABC cares, you (America), watched all that poo poo for 6 years
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May 22, 2020 03:25
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Hey if its good enough for Daikatana and Snow Crash, its good enough for Heroes
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May 22, 2020 06:26
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I left TLJ thinking they had no idea what they were doing and that they had spent two films worth of screen time on one films worth of story and that the third movie was gonna have to do a tooooon of work to establish settings and stakes.
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May 30, 2020 03:29
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I actually think its worse, really. Its looking at a first film that failed to provide enough context to understand characters motivations and going, yeah lets do more of that and third guy can fix. TLJ is someone being given unlimited budget for a pivotal narrative moment and deciding to spin wheels. Edit: Its even worse than that because large parts of its narrative is pretending something is happening and then replacing it with the same thing. Barudak fucked around with this message at 05:37 on May 30, 2020 |
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May 30, 2020 05:33
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Ghost Leviathan posted:The whole 'Stop complaining, the Boss Lady knows what she's going' thing really did not age well It was bad in theater, but yeah.
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Jun 13, 2020 10:24
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Bogus Adventure posted:"Why would you have Anakin Skywalker help right Ben Solo when you can just have HAN FREAKIN' SOLO do it???" The film is a series of missed opportunities that are the inverse difficulty of the death star run
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Jun 14, 2020 03:51
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weird double post removed
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Jun 14, 2020 04:02
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I dont know how so many people get so riled up over a very forgettable bad movie.
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Jun 16, 2020 06:33
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I was working on a joke about Mortal Kombat: Scorpion's Revenge took my childhood nostalgia out for a few dates or something and then realized that even a joke about the inverse still feels sleezy and gross because the phrase "raped my childhood" is repulsive on such a variety of levels its like multi-detonator landmine.
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Jun 16, 2020 15:58
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