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Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






it wanted to make four billion american earth dollars

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Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






the dead gently caress!!

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






RBC posted:

what does palpatines dick and balls look like

does he shoot lightening out of it

check the ms paint thread

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






this thread has become quite rude

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






jjabrams has now produced+directed the worst star trek movie, and written+produced+directed the worst star war

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






good lord, hes directed six movies, ⅔ of which are star wars or star trek

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






the other 2 are a mission impossible, and super 8

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






2house2fly posted:

OK, so: Lando, you go to the palace and get hired as a guard, but don't rescue Han. Then I'll send the droids as a gift for Jabba. Leia, you then come in pretending to be a bounty hunter who's captured Chewie. Then you can rescue Han and Chewie. If that doesn't work then I'll come in and threaten Jabba until he takes us all out into the desert to be killed, and then I can rescue Han and Leia and Chewie and the droids and Lando. Any questions?

keep sending jabba prisoners until it loops back around to 0 prisoners

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






Don Dongington posted:

Hey thread what do we like more:

The fact that Palpatine's return was revealed in the opening crawl and they didn't even bother with any real build up or exposition;

Or

The fact that the 1991 Tom Veitch comic book series Dark Empire did the whole reborn emperor thing so much better?

the latter. the cam kennedy art is amazing. those weird, evocative colors :syoon:

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






JethroMcB posted:

I haven't seen TROS but I hate it

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






Freaking Crumbum posted:

how could a lightsaber style even "dip into the dark side" like does he exclusively just take vicious stabs at his opponents genitals or does his lightsaber spontaneously try to force-choke his opponent or what.

i'm only half-sarcastic, i would be curious to know how the old eu meaningfully differentiated whether lightsaber combat moves were somehow light side or dark side

to use it, you have to love yr opponent in a personal, romantic way. truly desire to kiss and marry them

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






the ultimate expression of windus art is to raise children w yr opponent, see those children go out into the world, become parents themselves—and then to lightsaber that foe in their sleep and live in the emptiest nest of all

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






brutal

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008







the idea of a sith-based society that works and can do large-scale collaboration, instead of collapsing in on itself in a murder orgy (murdorgy) is preposterous imo

and before you say that the empire was that,: no it wasnt. it was sith-led and served sith interests, but it wasnt based on “sith values”, because sith values are hyper-selfish. the empire elevated those whose callous disregard for justice and charity &c supported sith goals, but the empire wasnt built around observing or glorifying sith principles

should have just said the ships were full of factory seconds from batches of snokes

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






like thats the whole thing. jedi care about everything, so try to maintain the balance of all things. in so doing, the old jedi order lost sight of the individual parts of the whole and were kinda shits. they forbade all personal attachment which put them in the position of being against love. luke redeems and perfects the jedi philosophy by finding a way for his personal love for his friends, to push him to greater heights of caring for the whole, and redeems darth vader (who fell for love) thru that capacity for loving completely. one of the things that made qui gon interesting was that he seemed to be more willing to love people and engage them as individuals than the rest of the jedi at the time

the sith care about themselves and are just poo poo about it. the only principle they care about is fygm + wizard powers. anakin falls because he is promised the power to help his loved ones, w/o ethical boundaries. how do you crew a space ship fleet on those principles?????

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






its a fuckin basic rear end fable w a moral a toddler could understand but somehow the official twitterist does not

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






maybe i put too much weight on the explanatory force of a tweet. a cult planet worshipping the emperor would make sense

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






like how the empire was a real rear end in a top hat gang but not actually packed w sith or practicing sith selfishness (just supporting the emperor), the cult could be a real rear end in a top hat gang that isnt packed w sith practices or morality (just supporting the emperor)

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






r2d2 should have hijacked plugged into a strong radio all the emperors mean ships and made them turn and holdo-jump into the scary planet to end the sith forever

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






original trilogy: farm boy learns the arts of a nearly-extinct sect of warrior-monks and saves the galaxy

prequels + originals: those born strong in supernatural power, which runs/may run in families, can learn the arts of the warrior-monks. a magically conceived boy is destined to do evil things but find redemption and save the galaxy

prequels + originals + sequels: there are two magic bloodlines and whenever they team up they overthrow the govt

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






tfa didnt just have phasma, it also had this fucker who gave me immediate “trying to do a bobafett” vibes

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






Barudak posted:

This character isnt in the movie, stop lying.

Oh my god how much of that movie is immediately forgettable sludge?

he is in the movie and his actor had to wear alien make-up under the hockey mask

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






man the replies are good

https://mobile.twitter.com/PoeHotDameron/status/1230970928122580992

https://mobile.twitter.com/DeadJynErso/status/1231018083998928896

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






shouldve been a weird golem made of death star reactor energy powering up a dark side ghost, wrapped in chunks of debris from the death star

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






ItBreathes posted:

He gets thrown into something that has no business being uncovered, let alone in a throne room.

yeah

my rear end

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






im sorry im sorry

that was rude

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






not inaccurate

but neither the time nor place to be saying that

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






https://mobile.twitter.com/jjdonkey/status/1235548410360614912

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






sheevs clone, sheeev

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






the secret template: shev

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






Guy A. Person posted:

Speaking of Sheev Palpatine loving are you familiar with the "Bigger Sheev" fan theory? You can guess what it is about

sheev created lukes friend, biggs??

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






Cease to Hope posted:

You should reread Dark Empire. The sequel trilogy ranges from mixed to really bad, but even TROS at its worst has nothing on DE's completely nonsense story

dark emoire.has cam kennedy art, which elevates it .always worth reading

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






give em the ol sheevle evil

show em the first rate sorcerer you are

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






galpatine

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






SolarFire2 posted:

As much as I like making fun of how slapdash and rudderless the sequel trilogy is, I have to admit that there's another part of me that is deeply depressed by what was done to the characters who were my favorite heroes growing up.

That the ST ends with the Solo/Skywalker line completely destroyed with absolutely nothing to show for it bums me out, man.

there is another

*sheev slides into frame*

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






Ghost Leviathan posted:

What Star Wars needs is more giant robot fights.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRPqs6wmr4E

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Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






does bb8 do a single thing in tlj, or is his absence another way in which rian johnson is sequel king

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