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Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

No no guys, you don't understand how awesome this will be, let me explain again -

You see, turns out Palpatine WASN'T killed, and also he's like 10 times more evil now and also a robot. Also the sith have a whole Evil Planet where they do Evil, and Robo Palpatine builds a whole FLEET of star destroyers, only now they're planet destroyers, and

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Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

Did anybody else wonder about the logistics of building and staffing a large fleet of ships around a planet that literally nobody can get to without a transceiver that's been missing for like 50 years?

And also lol @ the idea that they only built two - guess the Sith planet must have had a lot of gardeners because they sure weren't trading for food.

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

Things that were useless and dumb about the movie:

- the first 7 minutes of every lightsaber battle
- the whole "C3PO knows the way" subplot that was literally just abandoned after 30 minutes of dedicated screen-time (also lol @ inscribing on a magic dagger instead of just making a log entry or something)
- whatever the gently caress Finn was doing on the outside of the star destroyer that ultimately got blown up without his help

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

Now that I think about it, Finn's 2 out of 3 for "crucial to a subplot that doesn't matter at all" in his movie appearances.

Poopernickel fucked around with this message at 16:27 on Jan 24, 2020

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

reignofevil posted:

"We'll call them...... planet destroyers"

"Sir a star is bigger than a planet"

"What?"

"They were called star destroyers. Stars are huge and really hard to blow up. Blowing up a planet is honestly a step down."


......

"What??"

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

ROS would have been better if Rey turned evil and then Ben Solo killed her, followed by cut-to-black and roll credits.

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

chitoryu12 posted:

4. JAR OF PICKLED SNOKES

What I wanna know is - if Stonks was created by Palpatine, why wasn't he made to be better looking? A charismatic Supreme Leader seems like it would be a no-brainer if you're genetically engineering him anyways. Palps doesn't seem like somebody who misses the small details.

Poopernickel fucked around with this message at 19:38 on Jan 24, 2020

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

zoux posted:

I wish he wouldn't have been a hologram in TFA and really was just that giant

That would have been dope

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

vyelkin posted:

TLJ was cool and good and ROS was bad

I agree with this post.

It would have been awesome if they'd let TLJ be the end of the Jedi and Sith. Then the next movie could have had some different force-users with new philosophies. Like maybe use the Knights of Ren to explore what it means to be a dark-side user that isn't Sith.

But hey, why do that when you can put Palpatron 9000 on The Planet Of Pure Evil Where Nobody Is Good And Everybody Is Evil?

Poopernickel fucked around with this message at 20:29 on Jan 24, 2020

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

Cease to Hope posted:

so what's the other half hour

excruciating lightsaber battle cutscenes

Poopernickel fucked around with this message at 20:38 on Jan 24, 2020

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

vyelkin posted:

like poo poo, ok, in TLJ for example there's the entire Rose and Finn subplot that a lot of people hated (probably because it featured two actors of colour in leading roles but let's move past that for now), and people acted like that had nothing to do with the rest of the movie but it was actually a really important thematic moment where you see and learn important things for what Rian Johnson was going for in the movie

The theme was good and I liked it. Rose and Finn are both interesting characters.

Also the writers should have figured out a way to make the casino heist actually matter to the plot. Something other than "whoops, we tipped off the First Order by accident".

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

Also, re ROS: it would have been a lot better if literally every lightsaber battle was replaced with the last 15 seconds of that particular battle.

It's like if I wanted to watch boring CGI fights I'd go see a Michael Bay movie.

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

cams posted:

i remember when i watched the force awakens for the first time, when we get to stormtrooper finn happily mowing down his former comrades and constantly letting his anger consume him, i definitely thought there would be a really fun character journey for finn exploring his rage and the reality of war

but instead jj invented lando's long lost daughter for him to gently caress and little else of substance

When asking "why isn't there more subtlety", remember that this is the movie with Exegol: the Planet Where We're All Evil Because Evil Is Good And Good Is Dumb

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

I bet palpo force-choked himself during his sexhaving, it's the only way to get him there

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

Squizzle posted:

to use it, you have to love yr opponent in a personal, romantic way. truly desire to gently caress and cum

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Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

Did anybody figure out the logistics of the sith fleet? Of building/crewing a giant fleet of ships on a planet that you literally can't get to without a magic sith box? And there are only two of those boxes in existence?

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