Canadian Alpha Moves

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Yinlock

*struggling to push a lawnmower across a messy lawn* heh that wimp let me mow his lawn, looks like there's only one REAL man on this block

# ? Jan 23, 2020 12:54

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 10:06

Yinlock

me and another man glance at each-other as we head to the same door, we both immediately break into sprints. with a diving leap, i reach the door first and politely hold it open for him. he looks down in humiliation as i look to the sky and howl in victory

# ? Jan 23, 2020 12:55

Finger Prince

Saying sorry to someone when they bump into you before they have the chance to say sorry to you for bumping into you.

# ? Jan 23, 2020 13:45

biosterous

every snow day i wake up and i shovel gord's sidewalk before my own. he gets all bundled up and walks outside and sees his freshly shoveled sidewalk. he looks at his brand-new shovel and sighs. he knows he will never get any canadian cred with a brand-new shovel. he knows that he will never be known as the nicest guy on the block. i am the nicest guy on the block. i became so by winning at snow shoveling, every time.

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Jan 23, 2020 14:17

biosterous

"hey gord, good morning pal! you heading out early?"

"n-no biosterous, i was just thinking... th-thinking maybe i'd get my sidewalk shoveled..."

"haha well no need for that today! you keep your stick on the ice!"

"y-yeah, thank you..."

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Jan 23, 2020 14:18

biosterous

(oh jeez that feels mean, sorry fictional gord!)

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Jan 23, 2020 14:19

Yinlock

biosterous posted:

every snow day i wake up and i shovel gord's sidewalk before my own. he gets all bundled up and walks outside and sees his freshly shoveled sidewalk. he looks at his brand-new shovel and sighs. he knows he will never get any canadian cred with a brand-new shovel. he knows that he will never be known as the nicest guy on the block. i am the nicest guy on the block. i became so by winning at snow shoveling, every time.

# ? Jan 23, 2020 15:03

Yinlock

dave: ah poo poo i left my wallet in the car

mike and jim: i'll get it

*the restruant suddenly falls silent, mike and jim stand up as one and slowly circle each-other, both looking to establish dominance*

# ? Jan 23, 2020 15:06

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Two 75 year old Canadian men to one another inside their 95 year old Canadian mother's womb: "After you!" "No, I insist- after YOU!" The mother looks on beaming with pride at the two polite Canadian gentlemen she is raising.

# ? Jan 23, 2020 15:08

alnilam

biosterous posted:

(oh jeez that feels mean, sorry fictional gord!)

Saying soarry for being too fictionally polite to a fictional person is p alpha

# ? Jan 23, 2020 15:56

alnilam

Saying "ah jeez kid" and then letting the stowaway ride up in the cab with you :canada:

_{ty manifisto}

# ? Jan 23, 2020 15:58

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

arson

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigClutteredJoey-mobile.mp4
thank u vanisher for the sig
and thank u nesamdoom for the good loops

# ? Jan 23, 2020 16:18

Yinlock

watho posted:

arson

beta as hell tbh

# ? Jan 23, 2020 17:17

DeathCrabForCutie: oh fuc-

Calling someone you don't know "buddy" or "bud".

sig by Pot Smoke Phoenix!

# ? Jan 23, 2020 19:49

The X-man cometh

Getting the most assists and least goals in my hockey rec league.

# ? Jan 23, 2020 20:47

Yinlock

The X-man cometh posted:

Getting the most assists and least goals in my hockey rec league.

my peers looking on in envy as i receive the coveted best sportsmanship award

# ? Jan 23, 2020 22:20

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

drinking 6 liters of coffee because you showed up early to the office with a box of coffee and tim bits to find that all 14 of your coworkers also did the same thing.

# ? Jan 23, 2020 22:49

biosterous

passing someone the maple syrup just a moment before they were gonna ask you to pass it

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Jan 23, 2020 23:40

SeaGoatSupreme: Ask me about fixed-gear bikes (aka "fixies")

A Canadian dude once bumped me and didn't say soarry. I felt as though I needed to call the mounties to report my own murder.

# ? Jan 24, 2020 00:31

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

after trying to wave each other thru an intersection, throwing it in reverse and going back home

# ? Jan 24, 2020 00:43

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

undercover cop who breaks up maple syrup heists

# ? Jan 24, 2020 00:48

Yinlock

Hugh Malone posted:

after trying to wave each other thru an intersection, throwing it in reverse and going back home

"never look directly at the driver of the other car or you will get into a Wave War" is an actual canadian road rule

Yinlock fucked around with this message at 02:13 on Jan 24, 2020

# ? Jan 24, 2020 02:10

Yinlock

wingmanning for complete strangers at the bar

# ? Jan 24, 2020 02:20

The X-man cometh

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

undercover cop who breaks up maple syrup heists

"You wouldn't be the fellas who took 300 barrels of A1 Nova Scotia syrup, wouldja?"

"Oh shoot, we're the guys. Sorry aboot that, we'll put it back after this beer"

# ? Jan 24, 2020 02:24

DeathCrabForCutie: oh fuc-

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

undercover cop who breaks up maple syrup heists

Sticky Situations. Coming this fall to CBC.

sig by Pot Smoke Phoenix!

# ? Jan 24, 2020 02:44

xcheopis

Yinlock posted:

wingmanning for complete strangers at the bar

Whoria Discordia posted:

Sticky Situations. Coming this fall to CBC.

# ? Jan 24, 2020 02:54

Heather Papps: hello friend

Gordon and I lock eyes. We both have a molson in each hand.

Who will crack em and offer a cold one first?

From the shadows, margie emerges. Shes back from the rez, with native smokes. Gordon and I wilt like Yankees in the winter. She is our queen.

# ? Jan 24, 2020 03:16