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I think youll find that the Greek Orthodox church has a better claim to be the true church of st. Peter.
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Jan 25, 2020 12:33
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i like to annoy my dad by claiming that global warming is a thing that is real
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Jan 25, 2020 12:47
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Put a Bernie 2020 sticker over his Bernie 2020 sticker.
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Jan 25, 2020 13:10
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Mess with his meticulously organized bookshelf by moving Oedipus Rex from tragedy to instructional/reference. Should get mom a little worried too.
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Jan 25, 2020 13:40
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Don't be dead
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Jan 25, 2020 13:53
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Introduce him to your wifu
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Jan 25, 2020 13:57
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still-from-1983-movie-brainstorm-showing-the-son-putting-on-the-helmet.jpg
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Jan 25, 2020 14:02
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My dad’s not mad, he’s just disappointed
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Jan 25, 2020 14:15
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Every time he takes his beta blockers make the same joke about you still being able to visit
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Jan 25, 2020 14:37
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All week my kids were both impossible to get up for school and they both dragged rear end getting dressed and in the car everyday so they were both late to school on more than one occasion this week. Today they don't have school and we don't have plans until late afternoon so of course they were both awake before sunrise and have been bouncing off the walls for the last two hours. I feel so incredibly owned. Forget the years of broken poo poo, interrupted sex, not being able to take a dump in peace, ruined carpet and furniture, meltdowns etc.. not sleeping past six on Saturday morning cuts me deeper than anything and I'll never forgive either of them for as long as I live.
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Jan 25, 2020 15:08
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Open a new container of milk when there's still already an open one.
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Jan 25, 2020 16:14
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Make more money than your dad.
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Jan 25, 2020 16:15
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This thread has me thinking and it’s actually very hard to piss off my dad. Like, he’s a mellow dude. If I started doing real self destructive stuff or became a nazi or was a real rear end in a top hat to my mom he might get pissed. If I put Bernie stickers on his car he would just peel them off and then clean the bumper with some goop remover solvent he has in the garage and then tell me to clean the bumper before sticking things on it
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Jan 25, 2020 17:32
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The Management posted:This thread has me thinking and it’s actually very hard to piss off my dad. Like, he’s a mellow dude. If I started doing real self destructive stuff or became a nazi or was a real rear end in a top hat to my mom he might get pissed. loving  I can only hope to be as chill a dad as my own.
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Jan 25, 2020 17:38
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Hey dad, you know how you like Bread? their folk-pop stylings are MEDIOCRE AT BEST
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Jan 25, 2020 17:52
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Renegret posted:Open a new container of milk when there's still already an open one. Finish a container of milk, put it back in the fridge
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Jan 25, 2020 18:18
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Pwwx1cF8NQ
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Jan 25, 2020 18:21
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Do some dumb poo poo to the wrong people that forces my dad to reconsider putting his long dormant skills back to use in order to save me
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Jan 25, 2020 18:38
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*dad dismantles the false wall concealing his load out room, finds a Bernie2020 and a Bernie2016 sticker covering the door's keyhole*
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Jan 25, 2020 18:41
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Leave your 30,000 page Steven Universe x My Little Pony crossover erotic fanfiction out for him to see
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Jan 25, 2020 18:58
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Bogus Adventure posted:Leave your 30,000 page Steven Universe x My Little Pony crossover erotic fanfiction out for him to see He sends it back with spelling and grammar corrections and constructive criticism on the current plot holes and inconsistent characterization.
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Jan 25, 2020 19:08
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notepad "C:\Windows\System32\drivers\etc\hosts" just sayin'
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Jan 25, 2020 19:49
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Xenocides posted:He sends it back with spelling and grammar corrections and constructive criticism on the current plot holes and inconsistent characterization. NOTHING I DO IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, IS IT, DAD??? 
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Jan 25, 2020 20:15
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Kick him in the groin, OP.
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Jan 25, 2020 21:50
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Make him take a paternity test
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Jan 25, 2020 21:53
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dick wizard posted:not being able to take a dump in peace  I hadn't thought about this in quite a while. Remembering my son opening the door mid-poo poo just wanting to talk to me. Thinking back it was innocent and sweet, but at the time it could be irritating as hell. "Hey buddy, Papas need secret time too..." (he used to call pooping "secret time").On that note, I'm about 5 minutes from my parents house and I'm going to move my dad's tools around 
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Jan 25, 2020 21:58
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Don't look after the garden, let the lawn die. Leave things turned on at the power point, leave lights on in empty rooms, hang out washing with no pegs. Remind him of his own failures regarding home care (e.g my own dad has a rotting wall with water damage caused by a leaky shower one floor up, but goes mental if the lawn is cut too high or low). Tell him to look after his health, tell him you hired a tradesman to fix something. All trades people will apparently rip you off no questions asked, so everything should be done by you. This includes dealing with things like wasp and termite infestations - just a good spray of home brand insect killer should do it. Throw away his stash of rusty old nails and boxes of unused cans.
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Jan 25, 2020 22:11
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- drink bourbon, doesn't matter if it's good or bad, just as long as it's bourbon - be a better artist, this is a very low bar and im pretty sure i already did this - continue living
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Jan 25, 2020 22:20
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Always cuck your dad's new lady right in front of him. Ultimate power move.
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Jan 26, 2020 06:51
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suck your dads new dude in front of him
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Jan 26, 2020 07:56
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Remind him that Kids In The Hall was not funny and Twin Peaks sucked rear end.
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Jan 26, 2020 07:59
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wack rear end poster: my dad is the dalai lama and also hes dead soooo hmmm can i piss him off? i dunno, if i desecrated his grave his immaculate spirit would appear on this plane just long enough to remind me that the only reason I am lashing out is because of attachment, and that I am living like the ghoulish prieta, with a wide belly and a narrow esophagus which ensure my appetites will never be satisfied then he'd vanish back up to the highest ultimate reality and not be pissed off in the slightest
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Jan 26, 2020 09:09
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A goon asked his dad, a Chinese Zen master, "Does Bernie Sanders have Buddha-nature or not?" The dad answered, "Wú"
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Jan 26, 2020 09:11
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a mysterious cloak posted:
There's a kid's heavy metal band that my kids love, especially their song called "Harry The Seal". Whenever I need to take a poo poo it's "Harry Time" and they rock the gently caress out in the living room and let me conduct my disgusting business in peace
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Jan 26, 2020 09:18
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Colonel Cancer posted:Introduce him to your wifu
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Jan 26, 2020 09:19
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Buy an appliance by going to a place that sells that appliance, looking at the appliances, and just choosing one I like so that I can then use the appliance. *Dad roars with fury before his bookshelf of loving appliance-specific rating magazines that he has meticulously combed through for six months in order to optimise his appliance-buying experience and be an 'informed consumer' every time he needs to buy an appliance. Meanwhile, buys food on a daily basis because fridge broke three months ago and he can't buy a new one until he's read 20 issues of 'What Fridge magazine'*
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Jan 26, 2020 10:50
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youre posted:Remind him that Kids In The Hall was not funny You get the hell out of my house. You’re no son of mine.
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Jan 26, 2020 16:22
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WaffleZombie posted:Drink soda out of one of his nice wine glasses.. I would consider it a parenting win if my kid started drinking soda from wine glasses.
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Jan 26, 2020 16:26
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It's mind-boggling to me that you guys would actually have to do stuff to accomplish this goal.
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Jan 26, 2020 17:04
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 01:12 |
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GORDON posted:I would consider it a parenting win if my kid started drinking soda from wine glasses. The first time my parents met my wife's parents, my then future mother-in-law finished her wine, then just rinsed out there glass, and poured soda into it. My dad took the wine glass from her and dumped it into another glass for her. I'm still embarrassed by it, and my mother-in-law STILL brings it up in a "joking" manner.
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Jan 26, 2020 22:05
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