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Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006

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Jabberlock
Nov 29, 2014



A global pandemic caused the world's major economic powers to grind to a halt.

dads friend steve
Dec 24, 2004

The only mainstream media voice consistently raising alarms about the DNC rigging the primaries against Bernie Sanders is President of the United States Donald Trump

dads friend steve has issued a correction as of 07:32 on Mar 13, 2020

dads friend steve
Dec 24, 2004

immediately after sweeping victories on Super Tuesday, Joe Biden went on air and publicly confused his sister with his wife

dads friend steve
Dec 24, 2004

in an attempt to portray the covid 19 epidemic as overblown, multiple conservative commentators have started recommending that their (disproportionately vulnerable) listeners start engaging in behaviors designed to contract the virus

Alobar
Jun 21, 2011

Are you proud of me?

Are you proud of what I do?

I'll try to be a better man than the one that you knew.
There are flights going all over the country right now with very few or no passengers.


imagine how loving creepy it must be to be on those loving planes right now, in the middle of the night.

dads friend steve
Dec 24, 2004

democratic front runner Joe Biden’s approach to dealing with constituents’ concerns about his platform is to threaten them personally and tell them to vote for someone else

Nix Panicus
Feb 25, 2007

Alobar posted:

There are flights going all over the country right now with very few or no passengers.


imagine how loving creepy it must be to be on those loving planes right now, in the middle of the night.

On the other hand, now is your best chance of joining the mile high club

dads friend steve
Dec 24, 2004

google was surprised to learn during the president’s press conference that his plan for containing the coronavirus pandemic is to have them create a website to direct people to local Walmart parking lots

RealityWarCriminal
Aug 10, 2016

:o:
The UK only realised "in the last few days" that attempts to "mitigate" the impact of the coronavirus pandemic would not work, and that it needed to shift to a strategy to "suppress" the outbreak, according to a report by a team of experts who have been advising the government.

The report, published by the Imperial College COVID-19 Response Team on Monday night, found that the strategy previously being pursued by the government — dubbed "mitigation" and involving home isolation of suspect cases and their family members but not including restrictions on wider society — would "likely result in hundreds of thousands of deaths and health systems (most notably intensive care units) being overwhelmed many times over".

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Trump now says when he said "everything is under control" yesterday he was not talking about the coronavirus.

Wakko
Jun 9, 2002
Faboo!
The president's son took to twitter today to suggest that americans may need to purchase assault rifles in order to adapt to a rapidly deteriorating security situation under his father's leadership.

Gum
Mar 9, 2008

oho, a rapist
time to try this puppy out
The stock market is crashing faster than 2008 and that's not the biggest news story right now

V. Illych L.
Apr 11, 2008

ASK ME ABOUT LUMBER

the dnc is considering delegate penalties to states that postpone their primaries, an issue due to the pandemic

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006
U3 unemployment ticked up at rates unheard of since the Great Depression from the week of the week of March 9th to the week of March 16th, because of Covid-19 shutting down essentially every sector of the service economy except delivery and grocery.

paul_soccer12
Jan 5, 2020

by Fluffdaddy

Gum posted:

The stock market is crashing faster than 2008 and that's not the biggest news story right now

lol

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006
The doomsday clock scientists have cancelled the next doomsday clock event due to COVID-19 concerns.

RealityWarCriminal
Aug 10, 2016

:o:

Apraxin posted:

lol wait till u get a load of this



what a beautiful sentence

Helsing
Aug 23, 2003

DON'T POST IN THE ELECTION THREAD UNLESS YOU :love::love::love: JOE BIDEN
California Gov. Newsom's home almost out of toilet paper amid coronavirus outbreak, wife says.

Homocow
Apr 24, 2007

Extremely bad poster!
DO NOT QUOTE!


Pillbug

Alobar posted:

There are flights going all over the country right now with very few or no passengers.


imagine how loving creepy it must be to be on those loving planes right now, in the middle of the night.
a coworker of mine was taking a red eye to los angeles earlier this week and he said there were 3 people on the flight

they asked if the could at least sit in the first-class seats and the flight attendants said no

Atrocious Joe
Sep 2, 2011

https://twitter.com/fox5dc/status/1240072929200574465?s=20

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Right now 2 million Americans are infected with the coronavirus. The total U.S. death toll by April 15th will be more than 20,000. We estimate that 80 thousand of the 2 million infected Americans will be hospitalized over the next 2 weeks. That’s why we are short-term bullish on hospital stocks.

stephenfry
Nov 3, 2009

I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
Although historically markets have been bullish on healthcare stocks during pandemics like the Spanish Flu, some hospitals in the UK and America are being forced to close during coronavirus outbreaks because they aren't making enough money

https://twitter.com/HaleyLive/status/1241116745009684486

https://twitter.com/BernieSanders/status/1240340847109066753

Zeroisanumber
Oct 23, 2010

Nap Ghost
There is a plague.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

eric ciaramella posted:

In 2013, the Supreme Court struck down the “pre-clearance” requirement, saying it was no longer necessary, because the discrimination that used to occur in voting laws no longer occurred.

During a plague in which government offices will be shuttered for months, Senate majority leader Mitch McConnel’s state of Kentucky has passed a law requiring a driver’s license or other identity card in order to vote.

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Oregon police are begging residents not to call 911 over a coronavirus-related toilet paper shortage.

stephenfry
Nov 3, 2009

I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I AM AN IDIOT.
I learn about the geography of Brooklyn by listening to pirated misogynist comedy podcasts

Noted gender pioneer, drag queen, actor, model, singer, songwriter, and television personality Rupaul has 60,000 acres on what was once Native land in Wyoming with greater fracking output than the United Kingdom and more wells than the Netherlands.

Helsing
Aug 23, 2003

DON'T POST IN THE ELECTION THREAD UNLESS YOU :love::love::love: JOE BIDEN
Mitt Romney goes into self-quarantine after exposure to Rand Paul.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
The left demands more speeches from Joe Biden.

Freaking Crumbum
Apr 17, 2003

Too fuck to drunk


people that were not infected with the corona virus have been hospitalized after purposely ingesting hazardous chemicals because the president of the united states of america made public statements implying said hazardous chemicals could variously cure corona virus or guard against corona virus infection

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006
Britney Spears took to social media today to call for the redistribution of wealth and a general strike amidst the chaos of the COVID-19 outbreak.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!
A IMF employee who went on television to say the economic cost of social distancing is greater than the human cost of covid-19 died of previously undiagnosed covid-19 2 days later.

Nix Panicus
Feb 25, 2007

An unprecedented 3.3 million Americans filed for unemployment last week. In response, the Dow Jones Industrial Average gained 1350 points (6.4%) to officially enter a bull market.

Nix Panicus
Feb 25, 2007

The United States has taken the global lead on Corona by officially surpassing every other nation to be #1 in confirmed cases

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
Prime Minister Boris Johnson was among those infected by the novel coronavirus.

egon_beeblebrox
Mar 1, 2008

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.



A day after Russell T. Davies published a short story implying that Boris Johnson was an alien menace made of plastic from "Doctor Who," it was reported that Johnson had tested positive for the Corona virus.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
e: wrong thread

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

egon_beeblebrox posted:

A day after Russell T. Davies published a short story implying that Boris Johnson was an alien menace made of plastic from "Doctor Who," it was reported that Johnson had tested positive for the Corona virus.

That was one of the worst episodes of doctor who and I don't care if you wrote it, it's lame as hell to reference

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christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider
the farting aliens were worse imo

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