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The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

It's poo poo.

CBS all access is doing pretty bad. I know this because I had a one month subscription two years ago, and last month they started illegally charging my card again hoping I wouldn't notice.

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The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Hyrax Attack! posted:

So far they haven’t brought back Section 31 again so that’s a plus.

Section 31 is getting its own terrible show.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

I liked the mobster TOS episode because the mobsters kept calling phasers "heaters". It was really cute.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Meatwolfe posted:

I know, I'm doing a re watch and just hit that episode 8n season 4 or whatever. It's funny to me that they're all ok with having a dead eyed killer robot on the ship.

I'd be fine with it too. With so much mind control happening in space, it's good to have various brains on board.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Captain Hygiene posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XL4iCAB6MFo
Surely they wouldn't dare to disappoint me with another new series!

Why won't they give up? The tactic of setting five campfires for every one man doesn't work during the day. We know that nobody is watching. Anyone smarter than a tick knows that Picard is taking place in 2024 because they can barely afford to mock up the Applebee's they have to shoot in. We aren't going to be confused into thinking that the demand is so high for Star Trek that we'd better catch up now before everyone at work spoils it for us.

Just do the Halo/Star Trek crossover already so we can at least get some absurd jokes out of this mess, and then end this madness.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Captain Hygiene posted:

God, that really was dumb. The Borg have been screwed up dramatically since introducing the queens, and possibly earlier, but basically talking one into "well, have you tried....not forcefully conquering everyone?" was a whole new level.

I have a very good, very easy way to fix The Borg.

The Borg and the queen are doing whatever dumb, lazy poo poo the writers usually have them do. Then, just as the Borg are being maximally stupid a Borg cube arrives and completely obliterates the queen's cube.

Turns out that this is the real Borg we met in Q, Who, and that encounter in Q Who is the only time until now that we've encountered the real Borg. The queen, maturation chambers, Locutus, Hugh, unimatrix zero, and whatever other dumb poo poo I've forgotten about were all part of some pathetic offshoot. Like some kind of crusader kingdom. The Real Borg now only find Fake Borg worth assimilating because of all of the non-Borg technologies the Fake Borg have assimilated. Fake Borg are destroyed and Real Borg have no need for maturation chambers or whatever other dumb poo poo Fake Borg came up with.

It's the lazy, yet competent and complete fix that The Borg deserve.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Torquemada posted:

I can make this even better. The Real Borg turn up, but get this: they have a Borg KING!

I'm sold.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Strange New Worlds is going to be different. It promised to stop drinking and we have a baby on the way.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

I want all Kurtzman Trek to be terrible. It will make it easier for all of us to agree to completely remove the damage already done from canon.

If someone competent ever gets control of Star Trek, I want them to have the option to go back to these time periods without having to dance around this idiocy.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Relin posted:

so whats a bigger threat than the borg, i dont watch star trek and am curious

Nothing at the moment. There was a bigger threat than The Borg in DS9, but everything was all tidied up.

Captain Hygiene posted:

Species 8472 are chumps, their critical weakness is "being shot at" as shown in my adventures in the canonical story "Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force"

They also became peaceful instantly upon learning that their initial conflict with humans was a misunderstanding. Unless I'm forgetting something.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

JazzFlight posted:

I’m so annoyed that they went back to 2024 and didn’t once mention or deal with the Bell Riots. I thought that was the whole point before seeing this season.

Writers don't know about Bell Riots.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Gutcruncher posted:

Did the director tell Will Wheaton to act in his Pathetic Podcast persona, or was that his own choice?

Will Wheaton accidentally walked onto the set on his way to the bathroom and just rolled with it.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Captain Hygiene posted:

I thought Voyager was a great concept that mostly just got let down by the writing. It was kinda funny how Year of Hell came along and felt like a much more direct (if condensed) version of what it felt like they'd be doing stuck out there, but then it just got reset at the end.

Enterprise season 3 is the Voyager concept done right, and it was great.

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The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Nelson Mandingo posted:

I got to the torture porn segment of Star Trek Picard's first season and instantly turned it off. I mean, I was hating it up until that point, but I knew from that point on they wanted to make their own sci-fi series but knew it wouldn't have enough clout so they stole Star Trek's name instead.

I don't understand Hollywood's fascination with turning a positive series into a bleak, dystopian, torture porny and bringing back an old lead who is now a failed washup.

They measure quality by emotion, and they think that torture porn and meanness creates emotion instead of being a payoff to emotional investment.

It's like when some creepy dude sees a couple holding hands and thinks that touching girls makes them like you instead of touching being a result of them liking you.

The Human Crouton fucked around with this message at 04:29 on May 21, 2022

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