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reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


reignofevil posted:

I really should have brought this up sooner but the very first command and conquer game opens with the world trade center exploding



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5c9xyryhCqY

Here's footage of that

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reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Okay on review it is the "grand trade center" in Slovenia.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


So where were we.

Right. Slavik is about to die. Well he doesn't because the hot blond fox news lady from the nod news network busts him out and it turns out she's his sexy second in command. So Slavik gets on his command train.




Why a command train you ask? Good question. On closer inspection you'll see it actually works like Elon Musk's underground bumper cars idea.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Also you get to see an exterior shot of this loving thing for half a second at the end of one cutscene in the middle of the game hope you enjoyed it I can't believe I even remembered this was in here.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Nod is very very underground at this stage. Here is what they've accomplished thus far as an organization post kane.

1) They have perfected stealth technology. This era is the era of Nod having the absolute best invisibility they will ever be able to field in a combat environment.

2) They have figured out how to turn human beings into cyborgs, supplanting their free will and greatly increasing their strength. Also they get stronger when in tiberium instead of getting weaker.

3) They have invented gigantic APC's with drills on the front to allow them to transport men and equipment underground wherever they go.

I theorize, and this has never been explained in canon, that the reason for the underground command train was this easy access to gigantic-drill APC's.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008




Here is a photo of some underground APCs which some jackass has parked in a circle.

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008


ďIíll have to get you to excuse me, my friend, I ainít no hat-rack.Ē

Fun Shoe

when dril was a goon, his username was “a gigantic drill”

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Slavik is all pissed off because someone ratted him out and tried to kill him. He goes housecleaning and executes the traitor in his organization. Then he fights General Hassan with a poo poo ton of cheap nod buggies and infantry and using human wave tactics he brings the man to justice. He decides he is gonna throw a party for all his nod friends and that Hassan should be executed at that party. Tons more people are invited to this one.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008




Here is a picture of Hassan at his execution.



Here is all the people who showed up to watch

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Kane has finally finished constructing the mask that will make his face not hosed up anymore. It took him twenty years. He arrives via satellite skype call just in time to see Hassan die.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Note how his face doesn't look hosed up. The mask hasn't worked yet he just is using digital trickery to make himself look like he has a normal face.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008




He did this kinda poo poo back in the first tiberian war too. Note the greenscreen. He has a greenscreen on his face now and is projecting a normal face over it.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


I'm digging this thread although wanted to take the opportunity to restate my belief that Command and Conquer was basically an unlicensed GI Joes game

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008




Now we're getting a little ahead of ourselves here but this was the best opportunity to show Kane's hosed up facemask up close. This device is what is fixing his hosed up face but it's gonna take probably another twenty years to work.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


This is what Kane's face actually looks like he can't show weakness before Nod however and so even to his most trusted commanders he is pretending he doesn't have a hosed up face.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


So Kane is back in control of Nod. He never really does much besides tell everyone where to stand while GDI pushes the kill laser button on the satellites tho so Slavik is doing all the hard work of actually telling people to do stuff and figuring out how to fight the second Tiberian War. Which kane basically declares for dubious reasons.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


So now I need to mention the crashed alien UFO that was found during the events of the first Tiberian War.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008




Here is a photo of the UFO as provided from the canon game Command and Conquer Renegade

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


From this technology Nod reverse engineered what they needed to have vehicles that could fly. Beforehand Kane had missed out entirely on how to make aerodynamics happen and so Nod had no actual air force besides the helicopters they could steal and the cargo planes they could license from drunk African mercenary pilots. Now Nod understood the basic of flying even if their craft wasn't spaceworthy.

Then some jackass stole it and Slavik had to go get it back.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008




Here is a photo of the reverse engineered UFO which had crashed. The cnc wiki tells me this actually was supposed to be the same UFO as the one from Sarajevo but obviously that couldn't be the case just look at them. This however is a damned close comparison to what Scrin ships actually ended up looking like though in the third tiberian war so who knows.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


From this alien space ship built from the designs of a different alien spaceship the Tacitus was found. Basically it's an instruction manual for Tiberium which was good because by this point it was causing some severe damage never before seen by planet earth. To be summarized below.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Effects of Tiberium: Second Stage

1) Tiberium turns people into gigantic amoeba monsters that destroy all life

2) Animals it turns into weird tiberium-shard monsters that hide in the fields and attack anyone who comes near



3) plants it turns into either more tiberium or into weird veinhole monsters that can be ground up and used as chemical weapons (pictured below, top right)



4) Tiberium when exposed to Tiberium becomes highly explosive Blue Tiberium

5) Clouds and poo poo when exposed to Tiberium become Ion Storms which basically shut down all communications and radar and also lightning strikes happen all over loving everything up

reignofevil fucked around with this message at 15:46 on Feb 14, 2020

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Needless to say we needed an instruction manual.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


So Kane has a long term plan. Right now he is at the stage where he needlessly provokes GDI in order to try and trim a couple hundred years of being stuck on planet asscrack. So basically what Kane wants to do is he wants to build several liquid tiberium missiles and he wants to launch them at strategic points in the earth's atmosphere to accelerate the rate of tiberium spreading by a whole loving bunch. This will make the butt-ugly scrin aliens arrive slightly faster. Slavik is totally on board with this because he is invested and by this point Kane could tell him the plan was that Slavik was to put a bullet in his own brain so that Kane could save money on rent every month by squatting in the bloody hole and Slavik would be asking where the best place to shoot would be as he reached for his fuckin' gun.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008




It doesn't actually work but note the hella good branding on those missiles.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


GDI for its part mostly wants Nod to settle the gently caress down and they discover from nod that 1) Aliens are Real and 2) They left the Tacitus, and so GDI begins fighting to control the Tacitus so they can try and reverse the problems caused by Tiberium.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


GDI forges an alliance with the mutants to do this, which is a terrible move for the mutants they regret basically instantly. It does lead to probably the coolest loving mission in any RTS ever though where you get to try and use old units from the first game to fight new units from this new era. It's really badass and more games should do stuff like that.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Together the mutants and GDI defeat kane by stabbing him with a piece of his own temple. Kane should no joke be 100% dead for real here and we never really find out why he isn't.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Note it's kinda blurry but here is as of yet unmentioned hero of GDI Mcneil stabbing Kane to death with some kinda big sharp spike. They are standing next to the Tacitus.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


That lady lying down on the floor in what is surely an impossible angle is a mutant and she is working with GDI because she doesn't realize they are going to completely gently caress her over.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


I can't say with certainty but that is probably weed smoke all around kane

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


So kane dies again and Slavik is left in control of Nod. Now I'm gonna have to explain how CABAL fits into this mess.

MJP
Jun 17, 2007

Are you looking at me Senpai?

Grimey Drawer

On a work PC with image hosts blocked but SA unblocked, has anyone posted tim_curry_no_capitalism_in_space.m4v yet?

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Two minute intermission while I gather my thoughts and also seconding the worry for curry

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Kane, being a multithousand year old alien, is fully capable of translating Scrin writing because all aliens speak and write using the same garbage font. So he creates CABAL, an independently thinking AI who exists primarily to translate the Scrin writing for Kane so that he doesn't have to do it himself. Much like how Kane could have gotten rich selling face masks or his tiberium-comet detector or he could have gotten rich from the time he solved light-bending stealth technology or the time he invented a plant-powered high-energy laserbeam defense device capable of frying a mammoth tank in two shots, Kane could be rich right here just from knowing how to invent free willed artificial intelligence.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


When Kane dies CABAL goes from being an evil sounding EVA (which is the name of the artificial intelligence used by the Global Defense Initiative and also is voiced by a bored sounding woman with an electronic overlay) to being a full on threat to the human race as he tries to launch a cyborg revolution from within the brotherhood of Nod. Slavik has to betray all of his principles and temporarily team up with GDI in order to track Cabal down to where its core is located so that it could be destroyed. This is essentially what happens.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


I guess I didn't really mention it but the whole conceit of the series is that you are actually commanding these real battles from a far away location via the miracle invention of the EVA battle AI. She manages the hard logistics so that you can just mash the ADD SOLDIER button and it comes out of the barracks with grenades and stuff.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


From the second tiberian war on Nod has their own male version of EVA who is usually evil.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


So by this point we have basically concluded the historic events of Command and Conquer Tiberian Sun: Firestorm, which was the expansion pack content to Tiberian Sun. This was back when games could actually get sequels after they sold well enough.

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reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


So one thing we learn during the final cutscenes of Firestorm is that CABAL has Kane inside of a cloning facility/medical facility/AI bunker and that he and CABAL were acting in tandem.

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