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silvergoose posted:mmm, cake planet I thought you were talking about the one where Luke is hanging out in Obi-Wan's house making a lightsaber while Leia is trapped in Prince Xizor's gently caress castle, but I remembered that's Shadows of the Empire
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Feb 17, 2020 17:06
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Dave Wolverton watched Empire and was like "people like Han and Leia because they argue, right?" and then writes a book where the two of them are absolutely terrible people
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Feb 17, 2020 19:59
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what's the one where the author wrote in absurd numbers for how powerful the ship weapons are in order to help his buddies win a long-running Usenet argument over whether the enterprise could beat a star destroyer
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Feb 17, 2020 21:50
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okay maybe that one's not the worst but it's still a lol
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Feb 17, 2020 21:50
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Hijinks ensue when Leia agrees to a politically advantageous marriage to Blergh, King of the Rancors. Can Luke and Han crash the wedding and reveal Blergh's cheatin' ways before it's too late?
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Feb 17, 2020 22:17
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:what's the one where the author wrote in absurd numbers for how powerful the ship weapons are in order to help his buddies win a long-running Usenet argument over whether the enterprise could beat a star destroyer http://stardestroyer.net/Empire/Essays/FiveMinutes.html
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Feb 17, 2020 22:27
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:what's the one where the author wrote in absurd numbers for how powerful the ship weapons are in order to help his buddies win a long-running Usenet argument over whether the enterprise could beat a star destroyer That wasn't even a novel, it was one of the Cross-Sections spaceship books. Edit: it was immediately undercut by ROTS which showed the gun deck of an Acclamator getting hit by a laser with all the force of an anemic artillery shell. Vernii fucked around with this message at 01:50 on Feb 18, 2020 |
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Feb 18, 2020 01:48
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Sodomy Hussein posted:Hijinks ensue when Leia agrees to a politically advantageous marriage to Blergh, King of the Rancors. Can Luke and Han crash the wedding and reveal Blergh's cheatin' ways before it's too late? This is a much better idea than what actually happens in that book.
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Feb 18, 2020 15:41
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the courtship of princess leia, an adventure tale of the last surviving alderaanian law-frigate
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Feb 18, 2020 16:27
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Cage Kicker posted:I thought you were talking about the one where Luke is hanging out in Obi-Wan's house making a lightsaber while Leia is trapped in Prince Xizor's gently caress castle, but I remembered that's Shadows of the Empire I was just making a dessert desert joke 
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Feb 18, 2020 16:39
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I like Matt Stovers non SW books but haven't read his SW ones, how bad are they
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Feb 18, 2020 16:57
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Tulip posted:I like Matt Stovers non SW books but haven't read his SW ones, how bad are they I only read Traitor, which was the first EU book without any film characters and despite being a bit up its own arse it was actually one of the best NJO books. His RotS novelisation was apparently good too, bar a couple dad jokes.
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Feb 18, 2020 18:06
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He was definitely one of the better EU authors. I remember him being one of the few people that could actually pull off the "dark and gritty" tone that pervaded the 00's-era EU.
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Feb 18, 2020 18:21
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There isn't a single good Star Wars book I'm afraid
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Feb 18, 2020 18:39
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Well, duh
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Feb 18, 2020 19:05
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dracula vladdy AF posted:This is a much better idea than what actually happens in that book. There's a lot you can do with a book cover entitled THE COURTSHIP OF PRINCESS LEIA with a sneaky rancor coming up behind her. Unfortunately many Star Wars books from this era were a frightful combination of boring and absurd.
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Feb 18, 2020 19:43
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Courtship of Princess Leia is bonkers garbage and it should have ended with Han being sent to jail for the several heinous crimes he does. Instead of that this charming text about date rape became more influential than any other single EU book, pretty much everything about Dathomir just got wholesale transposed to the prequel era somehow.
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Feb 18, 2020 20:23
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Captain Splendid posted:I only read Traitor, which was the first EU book without any film characters and despite being a bit up its own arse it was actually one of the best NJO books. "Up his own rear end" is to be expected, he wrote a pulp action adventure that cited Bertrand Russell. Dad jokes...also expected. skasion posted:Courtship of Princess Leia is bonkers garbage and it should have ended with Han being sent to jail for the several heinous crimes he does. TBF Solo is a heinous creep in the movies.
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Feb 18, 2020 20:29
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Yeah the problem there is that Dave Wolverton saw a movie about Han being a horny pest and decided that a fun way to build on that would be if Han responded to romantic frustration by sedating and abducting his love interest
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Feb 18, 2020 20:34
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Any Star Wars book where the nerd author awkwardly tries to write a sex scene this is all Star Wars books. Each one secretly has a fetish scene written in, even if you don’t realize it
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Feb 18, 2020 21:46
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did anyone else read those palpatines guardsmen comic books g*d drat comic adaptations suck
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Feb 18, 2020 22:30
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It's been a long while since I read most of the Star Wars books that I've read, and even then as a kid, I wasn't really in the mindset to actually think critically about what I was reading anyways. I do at least respect that most Star Wars books are at least attempts at telling a nice story. Even the essential guides and cross section books end up having their own creative flair. I saw this book though, and I hate that it exists.  Like it's not great in actual real-world books to just throw a lot of numbers at people without explaining them, even if they're in a neat little geometric format, but this book flips between spewing a bunch of fictional numbers without any context and graphs composed out of some dumb statistical analysis about things from the movies nobody cares about, like who says "force" the most or the relative quality of situations that people "had a bad feeling about". skasion posted:Courtship of Princess Leia is bonkers garbage and it should have ended with Han being sent to jail for the several heinous crimes he does. I wasn't at a phase of my life when I was willing to understand and judge romance stories, so my brain tried filtering it most of it out, but even past that I got a feeling that this book was poo poo. I only even read it because it's a weird intersection of so much of established EU material, I normally stayed away from earlier EU books. And then Clone Wars went and established that both Asaji Ventress and Darth Maul are Dathomirians somehow.
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Feb 19, 2020 20:39
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Up Circle posted:did anyone else read those palpatines guardsmen comic books The new Marvel stuff from 2012 on fuckin rules
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Feb 19, 2020 20:43
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Up Circle posted:did anyone else read those palpatines guardsmen comic books I found a bunch of those in my attic recently and they suck major rear end
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Feb 19, 2020 22:19
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SlothfulCobra posted:And then Clone Wars went and established that both Asaji Ventress and Darth Maul are Dathomirians somehow.
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Feb 20, 2020 09:30
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The Star Wars comics are so bad that for a long time the Lucasfilm adjudication in order to preserve some semblance of sense was "all the comics are bullshit unless they are confirmed in a movie or something"
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Feb 20, 2020 09:56
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thats a weird perspective because the old marvel star wars and the russ manning newspaper strips are some of the best starwars poo poo out there
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Feb 20, 2020 14:30
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Squizzle posted:thats a weird perspective because the old marvel star wars and the russ manning newspaper strips are some of the best starwars poo poo out there Wait, newspaper star wars?
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Feb 20, 2020 14:33
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ItBreathes posted:Wait, newspaper star wars? Think of newspaper Spider-Man and you’ll be on the right track
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Feb 20, 2020 14:36
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ItBreathes posted:Wait, newspaper star wars?  
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Feb 20, 2020 15:05
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Finally, this subforum paid off.
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Feb 20, 2020 21:03
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Vernii posted:Just about anything by Kevin J Anderson. Complete hack with no understanding of scale and a reliance on superweapon of the week plots. I remember one book where IG-88 is a hostile AI who can hack into other droids. He ends up taking over a droid production planet, then uploading himself into the second Death Star. He is just about to transmit the order to start the robot apocalypse when the reactor core is blown up. He did make backups of himself, but they all end up being destroyed by Boba Fett, and he isn't smart enough to store one of them in a safe location despite being a superintelligent AI.
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Feb 21, 2020 04:58
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zoux posted:There isn't a single good Star Wars book I'm afraid I liked the X-Wing books. Also that series where Han goes back to Corellia for some reason and found it's become even more of a shithole and his rear end in a top hat cousin is leader of a space neo-nazi gang. I kinda liked the first book but never got around to reading the others.
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Feb 21, 2020 14:14
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Tortured probed by Vader? Fine. Amusement park rides with friends? Right out.
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Feb 21, 2020 15:08
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There are no good SW books, hth.
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Feb 21, 2020 19:23
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Konstantin posted:I remember one book where IG-88 is a hostile AI who can hack into other droids. He ends up taking over a droid production planet, then uploading himself into the second Death Star. He is just about to transmit the order to start the robot apocalypse when the reactor core is blown up. He did make backups of himself, but they all end up being destroyed by Boba Fett, and he isn't smart enough to store one of them in a safe location despite being a superintelligent AI. Tales of the Bounty Hunters, that book rules
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Feb 21, 2020 19:27
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Anybody who said "They're all bad" is right. They're bad in special ways though.Sombrerotron posted:Remember when Sith ghost extraordinaire Exar Kun, after four millennia of waiting for someone gifted in the Force to come around to Yavin 4, finally strikes it rich as Luke decides to establish his Jedi academy there? And how he just immolates his first victim via the Force? And then faces off against Luke with his Sith protégé, but rather than just doing the same thing twice he forces Luke's spirit out of his body or whatever? And then still fails to realise that he can simply make people spontaneously combust, opting instead for the extremely classic Batman villain-esque approach of making a flock of space jungle birds laboriously peck Luke's comatose frame to death? Which Luke's incorporeal form prevents by directing his like four-year-old cousin through the Force to wave his lightsaber around and scare off the birds? Remember that?? I DO REMEMBER THAT KEVIN J. loving ANDERSON, I REMEMBER ALL OF IT STILL AFTER MORE THAN TWO DECADES BECAUSE IT WAS ALL SO MONUMENTALLY STUPID IT DEFIES BELIEF GO TO HELL ARGH I never read those books but I did read I, Jedi where Michael Stackpole takes a huge detour in the middle of the book, like 100 pages, to completely retcon everything KJA wrote (and make Corran Horn the real hero, of course) Konstantin posted:I remember one book where IG-88 is a hostile AI who can hack into other droids. He ends up taking over a droid production planet, then uploading himself into the second Death Star. He is just about to transmit the order to start the robot apocalypse when the reactor core is blown up. He did make backups of himself, but they all end up being destroyed by Boba Fett, and he isn't smart enough to store one of them in a safe location despite being a superintelligent AI. There's a bit towards the end where IG-88, in full control of the Death Star's systems, slams a door in Palpatine's face and delights in his confusion. That jumped out at teenage me as a really, really stupid moment; in light of the prequels, I think that's the thing in all of the EU I read that's most true to George Lucas' sensibilities. (It's a KJA story, of course.) Also the IG-88 story opens with some pretty graphic violence, at least for a Star Wars story.
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Feb 21, 2020 20:49
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Cage Kicker posted:Tales of the Bounty Hunters, that book rules Does that one include the story where boba fett discusses why he won’t rape Leia in jabbas palace or am I thinking of some other god forsaken anthology
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Feb 21, 2020 21:02
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Bargearse posted:I liked the X-Wing books. the original Han Solo origin story was pretty okay, yeah. The way she characterized Han was maybe weird but sort of believable at times. excepting that nitpick though, they're pretty good con artist/thief type stories and especially the first one has some interesting framing.
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Feb 21, 2020 21:05
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It seemed like there was an editorial mandate at Lucasfilm that, whenever Chewie wasn't around in the EU, the author was required to pair Han with some kind of animal alien sidekick. Crispin established that before meeting Chewbacca he worked with a Tigerman, and then pretty much immediately after Chewie's death he started running around with a Birdperson.
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Feb 21, 2020 21:18
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