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I pretend I manage a small hedgefund but in fact I spend all the money on alcohol.
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Feb 18, 2020 13:25
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Dr. Tim Whatley posted:i hate the people that cut the exit lanes but i do it too so i don't have to wait for the people that i hate who cut the exit lanes It is objectively correct to do it this way and anyone who promotes a misguided sense of morality over “cutting the line” is a clown who posts about the circus! I’m a piece of poo poo because I put all of my emotional eggs into one emotionally unavailable basket but instead of being brave and severing I’m a serial simp because being in a loveless long-distance relationship is better than being alone.
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Feb 18, 2020 13:46
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I have crippling self-esteem issues that get aggravated by even the kindest of rejections and can't admit that the primary reason I get rejected is because I'm a person with crippling self-esteem issues who is scary and weird when rejected. I enjoy rating women on a 1-10 scale but am completely incapable of looking at my own attractiveness with any kind of objectivity. I am irritated by the fact that the things I enjoy doing that offer no value to society are not valued by society. I am desperately lonely but deeply afraid of being emotionally reliant on another person, I desire a relationship where there is a significant imbalance of power in my favour to alleviate this. I do not know how to provide for another's emotional needs, nor even understand that it would be possible for me to do such a thing. I insist on viewing sex as a symbol of status, even though this humiliates me as I have seldom or never had sex myself. I fear emotionally manipulative women since I know I would be easily manipulated due to my inexperience and general lack of emotional intelligence, I alleviate this by castigating all women as shallow and emotionally manipulative to justify my constant paranoia and inability to join in a relationship. I am sad and desire emotional comfort, but am ashamed of these desires and often attempt to humiliate others who would express the same feelings. I find it difficult to engage with others in an honest and genuine manner, I feel there is something terrible about me that must be kept hidden from others. I seek solace in fantasy, to the point where it has begun to genuinely colour my perception of the real world. I fear and despise men who are taller, smarter, richer, stronger, or more physically attractive than me and feel that they are somehow wronging me by having relationships with women while I do not. I am a regular poster on the something awful forums, and my name is jon pop.
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Feb 18, 2020 13:48
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HugeGrossBurrito posted:What exactly would get our interaction to that point asking for a friend "Why the gently caress would you go and do something like that? Whats the point ffs?" Bottoms up bitch
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Feb 18, 2020 13:49
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I could quote this entire thread
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Feb 18, 2020 15:06
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bird with big dick posted:How do you signal you’re willing to eat rear end Witty bumper sticker
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Feb 18, 2020 15:32
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Feb 18, 2020 15:41
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I’m a piece of poo poo because sometimes when someone pays me to care for their dogs I do a better job of loving and caring for their animals than they do and then their dogs end up liking me more than their owners and I know I’ll never be able to steal all my clients dogs and abscond on a big boat with all of them.
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Feb 18, 2020 16:12
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I have severe anxiety problems, which often results in me inadvertently "snubbing" (i.e., not directly greeting in public) people I've met a handful of times because I start panicking when I see them outside of work/school. It basically means I can't have friends.
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Feb 18, 2020 16:18
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I'm really bad at letting things go, especially relationships, which likely has to do with abandonment issues from childhood. Thanks for that Dad. Anyway it's led me to destroy some friendships that I wanted to be more and knew they wouldn't. Most recently it's led to me making life harder for someone, who's big crime was caring for and loving me for a period of my life, through way of just not letting go. She wasn't innocent in this and we both did things that led to drawn out pain for the other, but it's lovely knowing the unnecessary pain I've caused not only her but myself as well.
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Feb 18, 2020 16:36
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I’m like the Pol Pot of this “white genocide” thing except I’m just loving a lot of white dudes and living in Sweden. Paradoxically I also like Burzum even though Varg is basically black metal Morrissey at this point, and I say that as a fan of The Smiths. Death in June can gently caress right off, if you’re going to be a shithead at least be open about it. I’m seen as too white for black people and some sort of friend of the family aberration to white people so I use that to justify my weird hostility and mistrust toward all. To be fair, I feel insanely alienated from both facets so  tragic mulatto, right folks? I love living in Sweden in that it isn’t America and I won’t die if I’m jobless, or look at a cop the wrong way and health insurance? Yes! But I also cannot for the life of me see how this is one of the happier regions of the planet. It’s like everything here is the watered down version of itself.
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Feb 18, 2020 16:41
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I am too generous of a lover and ruin women by making sure that no man can ever compare to me
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Feb 18, 2020 16:48
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i feel way more sad when i see those commercials about homeless cats and dogs than i do when i see the commercials about homeless kids in third world countries
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Feb 18, 2020 16:48
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Son of Rodney posted:I am too generous of a lover and ruin women by making sure that no man can ever compare to me I’ve been Son if Rodney’s last 3 girlfriends in a series of wigs so as to trick him into thinking he’s an incredible sexman so he ends up disproportionately disappointing real women (or at least he would if I ever gave up the grift!)
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Feb 18, 2020 16:51
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I think greeting cards are stupid and for schmucks. gently caress you halmark.
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Feb 18, 2020 16:52
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Bust Rodd posted:I’ve been Son if Rodney’s last 3 girlfriends in a series of wigs so as to trick him into thinking he’s an incredible sexman so he ends up disproportionately disappointing real women (or at least he would if I ever gave up the grift!) D-drat... Ronaldina, is that you??
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Feb 18, 2020 16:53
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Son of Rodney posted:D-drat... Ronaldina, is that you?? AND Fredericia AND Meghanaphie! You fool! You Clown! Don’t you have a hot date to get ready for? Wouldn’t wanna leave Rebeccalyn waiting, would you!?!!?
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Feb 18, 2020 16:56
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Grevling posted:I pretend I manage a small hedgefund but in fact I spend all the money on alcohol. I feel like I'd watch this Netflix series.
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Feb 18, 2020 17:12
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Bust Rodd posted:It is objectively correct to do it this way and anyone who promotes a misguided sense of morality over “cutting the line” is a clown who posts about the circus! I never cut and let everyone in. Because I'm a salaried govt employee who makes money to sit in traffic, haha I'm a waste of tax money.
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Feb 18, 2020 17:22
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Decades of undiagnosed depression and introversion have left me unable to feel any real emotion because as I reasoned it out: "It's just easier than hurting all of the time." This seems like a much larger problem to everyone else but me.
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Feb 18, 2020 20:41
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MustardFacial posted:Decades of undiagnosed depression and introversion have left me unable to feel any real emotion because as I reasoned it out: "It's just easier than hurting all of the time." If it’s any consolation this will manifest as cancer soon and you will die
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Feb 18, 2020 20:56
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I tend to be a bit paranoid and judgmental. Probably because I have dated not one, but two dudes who have revealed themselves to be emotionally-abusive literal nazis. And I mean actual factual hard-R dropping Nazis. poo poo was loony tunes. On that note, I also have some self-esteem issues and rejection sensitivity thanks to previously-undiagnosed ADHD, plus anxiety from years of trying to scare myself into focusing and depression from years of not being able to. oh and PTSD thanks to all of the above, plus other BS experiences from my childhood and teen years. I've been trying to keep things positive using meditation and mindfulness and such, and to keep my situation in perspective, but I still catch myself being bitter and jaded as hell. It's like it's hard to be hopeful sometimes. e: cleaned up self-loathing word vomit. DeathCrabForCutie fucked around with this message at 00:23 on Feb 19, 2020 |
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Feb 18, 2020 21:07
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I make a lot of money and don’t donate any of it and I have a giant penis but I don’t use it for pleasing my wife and i am incredibly witty and amusing but instead I make posts like this
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Feb 18, 2020 22:52
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blatman posted:I work really hard at work but all that accomplishes is raising the bar for my coworkers and invites my supervisor to dump more work on me at regular intervals Hi hello hey this is me. I gently caress myself over doing this and don't even know how to stop doing it. Also as the child of a narcissist I have a super hard time asking for help, so I am being buried alive in work 
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Feb 18, 2020 23:09
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bird with big dick posted:How do you signal you’re willing to eat rear end basically the same gesture but hold your nose
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Feb 18, 2020 23:15
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bird with big dick posted:How do you signal you’re willing to eat rear end First, get a chocolate frosted donut.... Then... you know....
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Feb 18, 2020 23:20
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I eat way too much ice cream and I hate most people.
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Feb 19, 2020 05:59
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quote:ITT tell everyone why you are a piece of poo poo But you know what, I'll play along: I'm a piece of poo poo because I focus all of my energy trying to control the white-hot ball of rage at my core that was the only thing I was allowed to feel growing up without getting beaten, so I don't have any emotional energy left over for normal person poo poo. As a result, my relationships are usually pretty short-lived and sexually-driven, because having an actual discussion with me is either pseudo-intellectual mania, or insulting tactlessness. I try to do my best to not let it affect my relationship with my kid, but it turns out it doesn't matter much, since his problems are severe enough to keep him from noticing what's wrong with me. I fall back into old habits like smoking and drinking as a way to relieve stress that I bring on myself in the first place by having no idea how to be happy, let alone make anyone else happy. I lust for adventure at every tick of the clock, and I feel myself losing air like a punctured tire as every second passes. I destroy everything I touch, insult everyone I know, and don't care enough to stop. There's nothing good about the way I live, and I'll die like a stray dog with no one to mourn me. Also, I could stand to lose about twenty pounds.
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Feb 19, 2020 06:53
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Whoria Discordia posted:I tend to be a bit paranoid and judgmental. Probably because I have dated not one, but two dudes who have revealed themselves to be emotionally-abusive literal nazis. And I mean actual factual hard-R dropping Nazis. poo poo was loony tunes. don’t blame yourself for dating Nazis, especially abusive ones. after something like that, I’d be hyper vigilant as well. You seem to genuinely be working hard to better yourself and that’s leaps and bounds more than what most do.
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Feb 19, 2020 07:00
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I used to be an edgy shitlord about a decade ago and blamed my acting out on alcohol and drugs. No, I was just a horrible person who needed an excuse.
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Feb 19, 2020 14:38
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I've ghosted everyone I've ever met. In fact when I first encountered the term and how it's apparently a social faux pas I thought, "Wait. You mean to tell me that isn't, like, the normal, expected, and preferred way to let go of someone?" I haven't changed and honestly I think the idea that you have to say goodbye to everybody is bullshit. Edit: To clarify, I wouldn't (and haven't) ghosted someone as a way to end a romantic or dating relationship. I do actually make the break up before ghosting. "Hey, I don't think we should see each other anymore. Stay friends you say? Sure, we can give it a try. We still have each other's number and all..." *fades into thin air* SidneyIsTheKiller fucked around with this message at 15:21 on Feb 19, 2020 |
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Feb 19, 2020 15:12
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I am almost definitely going to vote for Donald Trump if Bernie doesn’t get the nomination. I will likely dress like the joker while doing it.
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Feb 19, 2020 16:15
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Who Is Paul Blart posted:I am almost definitely going to vote for Donald Trump if Bernie doesn’t get the nomination. I will likely dress like the joker while doing it. Same except my reaction will just be to not vote at all and I'll dress like a more generic clown, as I do everyday.
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Feb 19, 2020 16:58
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Dogs aren't people
pop fly to McGillicutty fucked around with this message at 18:56 on Feb 19, 2020 |
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Feb 19, 2020 17:11
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WIFE NO COOK GOOD and I'm scared to confront her about it because she takes a ton of pride in her cooking.
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Feb 19, 2020 18:33
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RocktheCaulk posted:WIFE NO COOK GOOD and I'm scared to confront her about it because she takes a ton of pride in her cooking. This one is easy just show her the thread where all the other guys posted their wives good cooking
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Feb 19, 2020 18:36
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RocktheCaulk posted:WIFE NO COOK GOOD and I'm scared to confront her about it because she takes a ton of pride in her cooking. Dang man, this one brings a little tear to my eye. I take a lot of pride in my cooking. What if secretly everybody thought it was bad? Really hits in the feels, tell ya what.
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Feb 19, 2020 18:37
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Pride in cooking is the best pride because everyone you serve food to is under social pressure to compliment your mad skillz even if you suck poo poo. Develop anorexia to own the missus.
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Feb 19, 2020 18:43
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My wife has no problem telling me when something I cook is crap.
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Feb 19, 2020 19:18
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But do you serve the crap with a proud childlike "LOOK WHAT I MADE" expression on your adorable little face?
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Feb 19, 2020 19:24
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