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Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

by Pragmatica
There are plenty of old low-budget animated fantasy movies like The Flight of Dragons that are way more watchable and fun than anything Bakshi made but they don't have nips and cusses and hamfisted social commentary and edgy ironic blackface so beardos who get really mad about cartoons don't devote time and energy to arguing that they're actually good.

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Pewdiepie
Oct 31, 2010

Give us content op.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
If you think Bakshi invented adult animation clearly you have never heard of Tijuana Bibles, the original anime for sickos and perverts.

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

by VideoGames

Sleeveless posted:

There are plenty of old low-budget animated fantasy movies like The Flight of Dragons that are way more watchable and fun than anything Bakshi made but they don't have nips and cusses and hamfisted social commentary and edgy ironic blackface so beardos who get really mad about cartoons don't devote time and energy to arguing that they're actually good.

“gently caress anything that tries to have a point”

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.
Things can have meaning and I can jack off to it.

Talk about the most meaningful things you’ve ever jacked off to while I continue putting off starting the movie due to laziness.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Bakshi owns, the 70s and 80s were filled with janky low budget cinema that I call the Art of Trash. Movies like Street Trash, Basket Case, The Stuff, Wizards, Coonskin, etc. all fit that bill. You gotta learn to appreciate them for their weird on-the-nose messaging and propensity to eschew normal standards of what a film is supposed to be from a technical perspective or traditional standards of quality. There's a charm to how rough they are yet how much they lean towards arthouse flourishes in the midst of their lowbrow poo poo. If they didn't have their serious flaws they wouldn't be what they are, and there's a particular vibe you get to those movies that you get nowhere else.
It's partly impossible to replicate just because how much a product they are of the limitations and methods of the time.

So many people have this extremely, dull, uninteresting view of film where everything has to be anti-septic as to the technical aspect and adroitly made so you can't see the seams, but the poor film stock, choppy home editing, blown out sound mixing, kitchen sink/cutting corners animation and cinematography are all apart of that singular vibe.

Whenever people get mad at a movie and are like "It's just some random crap that the director made because he was tripping balls!" it makes me laugh because it's like, yeah, and? That owns, it really owns that a director thought to make some trippy poo poo and bolt whatever message is important to him on it. Why would you act like the world is poorer for it? poo poo owns. It's messy and dingy and grimy and it's a valid texture for art to have.

*nods head*

poo poo owns deeply, emphatically.

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?
What about pick

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.
I am indifferent. I will post screenshots of Wizards (1977) regardless of Pick's probation status.

wane tendo
Mar 19, 2005

Buglord
Sorcerer (1977) was the superior fantasy derived title of that year

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.


The first thing we see is this close-up of a rocky area, followed by a black cloth, and a book.

I want to know more about that black cloth, and that thing to the left of it. I don't know my 1977 technology, so I have to assume it was a 1977 Fleshlight. It definitely seems like something someone would put their dick into.



But all the movie cares about is this book. I can see why, that's a pretty swank font, but I get the feeling this is a textbook because it reads so incredibly dry.

Double so because the narrator reads it in such a monotone voice, as she does the rest of the intro that I've seen so far. I'm trying not to get too far ahead of what I'm writing, so I've only seen the first two minutes or so.

Anyway,

https://i.imgur.com/rpWPQ0D.mp4

...now that is how you start a loving movie.





It took two million years for some of the radioactive clouds to allow some sun in.

Unfortunately, the excitement of the world exploding is drowned out by more monotone narrator. I've never seen anyone less excited about watching a planet blow up in glorious 1977 technology than this narrator. She's really ruining the vibe of this movie for me.

In 1977 it took five terrorists to blow up Earth. I bet with today's technology we can do it with zero. Maybe the half-man from Two and a Half Men.



You can see the piss lava moving in the background, but the framing doesn't let me get a clean GIF/MP4 of it, so consider this an incentive to watch the movie.

The guy bracing against the right side looks like he needs to take a dump but can't due to the thousand atomic fireballs fusing his rear end in a top hat shut. I feel for him.



OK, first off, we need to talk about the mutant on the left. That does not look like a loincloth to me. That looks like some insanely overgrown pubic hair, which means this fucker has a stalactite penis. Several, really, you can see the right one pissing a bit.

Looking at it a bit closer, it actually looks like a guy with a giant beak looking to their right. At first it seems like the left side of his face is shrouded in shadow and his right shoulder is fused to his face, but the giant beak makes more sense to me. If so, that mutant must be one of the lucky ones. In a post-apocalyptic future, a giant loving beak would be essential to access vital food sources with minimal injuries. Sure, he looks freakish, but he has top-tier survival skills and enough penises to spread on the beakface gene to generations to come. If I were a betting man, I'd place the future of humanity in the hands of Beakface.



Meanwhile this fucker ain't gonna get laid at all. Even their steed hates them, and this creature doesn't even look to weigh that much!



I'm the bird who hung itself in despair.



The movie then moves to several close-ups of the above scene, except this creature isn't in the above scene. It's like they weren't really expecting to show up here, so they're surprised and a bit perturbed by the circumstances.

And I don't blame them, their breasts are concave. I don't know if this is a male or female, but either way they're clearly lacking in self-confidence despite probably being in the upper-tier of bangability in this world.

On second look, it looks like their right breast has sunken beneath their armpit. This seems like a useful survival skill, as instead of having to chop off your breast like Amazons did, you should simply shift your breast to a less-restricting area of the body and be able to carry on with survival fine while still rocking some killer titties. If anything, it seems the apocalypse has kick-started evolution after humanity has stagnated for thousands of years. Good for this society!



I can't tell if the Cyclops is sucking on its hand or foot. It really looks like a foot to me, and one of the toes looks fused to their upper lip. Either way, they've got a pretty nice right tit, so props for that.

Really, the problem with these creatures isn't their mutations, it's their hair styles. These creatures would look so much better in modern light with a proper barber. I mean, yeah, the dorky hair is intentional to make them look freakish, but I don't know, a lot of them seem like they're a solid next step up from current humanity. Those fangs on the right fella would be very handy, and these creatures in general seem to be in pretty good shape.



And finally, this one. Tell me, is their anything wrong with this creature? I'd argue, gently caress no! This motherfucker right here is the pristine example of everything the human race should aspire to be. They're buff as hell, they're chill enough to not give a poo poo about the dead bird, and they clearly exude self-confidence. Just tell me that creature on the left doesn't secretly want that brute to sexually satisfy them.

This isn't a nightmare wasteland. This is a loving utopia.

-----

With that, we're a whopping two minutes in out of eighty total. I'll do a drip feed for this because there's clearly so much to talk about involving this movie. More to come!

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Milo and POTUS posted:

What about pick

What's that

Mr. Bones
Jan 2, 2011

ain't no law says a skeleton can't play the blues
I loving love the Elfquest meets Vaughn Bode art style in the intro. If the whole movie looked as good as that it'd be perfect.

Also: Wizards is the first movie Mark Hamill ever appeared in, releasing just three months before Star Wars.

twistedmentat
Nov 21, 2003

Its my party
and I'll die if
I want to
Rock & Rule is the better movie.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
drat Mark Hamill has nice tits

Punkinhead
Apr 2, 2015

Colonel Cancer posted:

drat Mark Hamill has nice tits

Empty Sandwich
Apr 22, 2008

goatse mugs
I haven't seen this in forever. I enjoyed it as I recall... need to watch it again, either in post form or as a cinema

but I just wanted to say that holy loving poo poo, Bakshi's Mighty Mouse owns so hard

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

A miserable little pile of secrets

free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009

wane tendo posted:

Sorcerer (1977) was the superior fantasy derived title of that year

with such a sweet title in a cool font you'd think this movie would be about something else than roy scheider driving a truck

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth

Mega64 posted:

With that, we're a whopping two minutes in out of eighty total. I'll do a drip feed for this because there's clearly so much to talk about involving this movie. More to come!

The art in this movie is so visually dense that this review benefits from your more in-depth "analysis" of it.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

free hubcaps posted:

with such a sweet title in a cool font you'd think this movie would be about something else than roy scheider driving a truck

That movie owns bones beyond belief and you will be destroyed for your post

Pewdiepie
Oct 31, 2010

I am unconvinced that this thread lives up to the promise of Wizards but better than the other Wizards thread as the op has delivered less content over a longer period of time. I think I will just watch this movie at my own leisure, rather than spend the rest of my life waiting for the op to get past the opening credits.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


There's nothing wrong with reading the other thread for a summary and this thread for an analysis. You can like both.

Nutsngum
Oct 9, 2004

I don't think it's nice, you laughing.
Youve inspired me to rewatch this vague movie i vaguely remember seeing and enjoying as a kid.

52mins in and nothing has really happened yet. Like its not terrible but sheesh its kind of all over the place.

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

Klyith posted:

why does a fantasy / post-apocalypse movie use the generic cyber computer font for its title-cards?

Because it's a post-apocalyptic fantasy world.

G-III
Mar 4, 2001

This movie showed us how every wizard fight in the harry potter series SHOULD have ended.

As far as bakshi goes, I've always wanted to see his rotoscoped pictures like Lord of the Rings or Fire and Ice but WITHOUT the rotoscoped animation. Just the actors on stage performing before the rotoscoping process. Having that on a disc where you could turn on and off the rotoscoping on the fly would be totally dope.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPuTVjpuom8

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.




I decided to combine like three screenshots into one here so I can show the whole thing off. I'd have shown off even more but the camera moves at an angle before going straight down to the intense frolicking action, making it harder to capture everything with my mediocre Paint.NET skills.

How come the creatures with wings don't get to wear clothes? That multi-dicked beak face from the last update wasn't wearing clothes either! Do you have to possess any trait of a bird to walk around in the nude without judgment?



So I tried doing the same thing here, but the lighting keeps changing enough that it's pretty drat clear where I spliced images together. If I were more patient and more skilled I could make it look less jarring, but you're asking a lot of some random GBS idiot in that case!

I was about to splice a version with subtitles but it doesn't match up well at all so I'll throw them in italics.

...fairies, elves, dwarves...the true ancestors of man.

Anyway, there's way too much to talk about here. From left to right, there's the sleeping chum under some toadstools, the motherfucker who's humping a log, some dork contently watching said motherfucker hump a log, some guy snorting mushrooms because he doesn't know how drugs work, some woman pretending to be unaware of the immense perversion behind her, and some creepy guy watching her.

You all weren't kidding when saying this movie is pretty hosed up.



Thankfully this next image only has this one town. But the next one, however...



Again, there's some odd panning that I could probably handle if I wanted to spend another fifteen minutes on this, but eh, I'm lazy. Ditto for the obvious image stitching I did. I don't envy the experts who do this stuff for fun, because it seems pretty time-consuming to me!

Let's jump back to the subs...

It was a big day in Montagar. Delia, queen of the fairies was presiding over the feast of plenty...



Anyway, I want to know who this suave motherfucker is. He's got some woman offering him a pie and a fairy gawking over him, while he sits back drinking with a smug-as-gently caress grin that almost rivals the guy from the final shot of the Cheers intro. This fella was born in his god drat element, I tell you what.



Delia felt a pull from the skies. She looked up and saw dark clouds forming on the horizon in every direction.



Look at that rump.

Also you have to appreciate how strongly Hobbit-But-Legally-Distinct they are. Eating, drinking, smoking, partying, they are loving hobbits in everything but name.

But seriously, that guy with the feather hat has one loving thick rear end.





At first, the fairies were puzzled. But then they too felt a force drawing them to follow.

So she lives on top of a hill, but otherwise her home is modest. So should I hate her for living above everyone else, or admire her for being a queen who lives in the same shithole type of house everyone else does?

I'm sure the movie will answer this eventually.





...hovering over the dwelling.

That guy's totally gonna bite that other guy's shnoz. Don't believe me?



You're welcome!



There lay Delia on her bed...



Motherhood certainly hasn't been treating her well so far.

Again, I'm sure the movie addresses this, but I'm curious whether this was a virgin birth or whether she hosed the guy with the massive rump and the dick nose.

The older fairy instantly knew that these were not ordinary twins, but magical wizards.



I don't know what's the most mortifying: The old guy's caved-in skull, the creepy kid's skeleton arm, the mother aging fifty years in the process of giving birth, or this piece of poo poo:



OK, I've got my answer.



Even the other kid can't stand the face on that twerp. I don't blame him.







Is he really a wizard or is he a loving street magician? A rabbit out of nowhere, really, kid? This kid's going to get so many wedgies once the mutants get a hold of him.



...would never visit his mother...



That's kind of a hilarious segue, to be fair. It's out of nowhere, it's stupid as poo poo, and it's utterly brilliant. "The good wizard, he liked to make his mother smile with simple party tricks. This other motherfucker, he'd torture animals and would never visit his mother. He was a right and proper prick and nobody liked him and nobody went to his funeral. The End."

-----

And with that, we've finished 3:48 out of 1:20:55. There's still more intro, but I've spent an hour on this, I gotta push some content out!

...We've gotta be close to the end of the intro, right?

hallelujah
Jan 26, 2020

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
baby blackwolf is a masterpiece of character design. it's surprisingly hard to draw something that is both recognisably a baby, and also recognisably a fuckwit

Oscar Wild
Apr 11, 2006

It's good to be a G
It's pretty amazing that the bad wizard was able to succeed as well as he did given his noticable lack of strength at arms.

NecroBob
Jul 29, 2003
gonna change my username to baby elf tits

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

by Pragmatica
Ugh that's not how arm bones work

scott zoloft
Dec 7, 2015

yeah same

Sleeveless posted:

Ugh that's not how arm bones work

He's mutant

Random Stranger
Nov 27, 2009



Mega64 posted:



I know, this is unrelated to the actual movie, but come the gently caress on, the man's name is Mike Ploog.

Disturbingly enough, this was a very informative OP as I now know that one of the greatest comic book artists of all time worked on one of the all time worst fantasy movies.

thuly
Jun 19, 2005

Transcending history, and the world, a tale of MS Paint and animes, endlessly retold.
Ralph Bakshi loving rules.

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
It's a hell of a lot to expect a young child to devote his days to caring for his invalid mother.

loving faeries. Oh wow, the child you all found 'repelling' the instant he was born grew up a loner forced to experiment on his own to find the limits of his powers???

Angry Salami
Jul 27, 2013

Don't trust the skull.
This is a movie that believes it is anti-fascist.

It's also a movie that spends most of its intro ranting about 'mutants' who's very existence is a curse, and emphasizing that some people are just born evil. It's a fantasy setting straight out of "The Iron Dream".

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

by Pragmatica

Angry Salami posted:

This is a movie that believes it is anti-fascist.

It's also a movie that spends most of its intro ranting about 'mutants' who's very existence is a curse, and emphasizing that some people are just born evil. It's a fantasy setting straight out of "The Iron Dream".

Ralph Bakshi states that Wizards "was about the creation of the state of Israel" so in a weird way he actually managed to perfectly capture its essence unintentionally.

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
Thread got me to actually watch all of fritz the cat after very briefly QAing it like a year ago and being terrified I would get fired for how hosed up it was. Movie is seriously hosed up

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
I, too, was born Obviously Evil and with stick-thin skeleton arms, so this really hits close to home.

phasmid
Jan 16, 2015

Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

I, too, was born Obviously Evil and with stick-thin skeleton arms, so this really hits close to home.

I shoot you with a Gun, using your Weapon of Death against you.

A bunch of pedants burn my effigy for doing so.

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Sjs00
Jun 29, 2013

Yeah Baby Yeah !
and my ax

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