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hi friends, i know we're all having fun with my daily updates about the crazed, bloodthirsty simian making GBS threads up my front lawn and occasionally attempting to throw lit sticks of dynamite into my chimney, but recently some of you have been coming by to take selfies and buy accounts for the monkey, which makes it likely that i will be sued for Online Malarkey in the Simian Courts. if you want the slow drip of content to continue i'm going to ask that y'all discontinue attempting to subtly implant the phrase "are there stairs in your house" in the monkey, using sundry and occult powers. my wife appreciates your support, but this monkey throws dynamite at her because of a longstanding family tradition and it's just not right for us to interfere. soon, she will finish forging the Alchemical Blade of Ape-Slaying in our basement sex dungeon and, once complete, the slaughter can begin. i'll be sure to livestream that when it happens, my wife is EXTREMELY skilled at bladeplay. |
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Feb 19, 2020 20:28
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 00:34 |
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"maybe your wife shouldn't of built a house atop an ancient dynamite monkey burial ground" buddy, listen. hindsight is a fickle, ball-busting leather clad dominatrix, and i'm a cum-hungry gutterslut. crimes |
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Feb 19, 2020 21:01
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:buddy, listen. hindsight is a fickle, ball-busting leather clad dominatrix, and i'm a cum-hungry gutterslut.
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Feb 19, 2020 21:05
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monkey has learned to imitate my children's voices while scratching at the window, begging to be let in. monkey i live on the second floor. you better be wearing stilts because if you gently caress up my siding i will be SO cross
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Feb 19, 2020 21:27
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monkey ran out of explosives, but now he keeps changing the channel to TNT using his wickid psionic energies 
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Feb 20, 2020 23:01
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watched a planet of the apes marathon on TCM last night with the monkey (his choice), i like the movies just fine but kind of didn't appreciate the implication. monkey thought it was real fuckin funny
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Feb 20, 2020 23:04
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dynamite monkey? pfff. try being haunted by an entire brigade of civil war dynamite ghosts. I haven't slept in days
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Feb 20, 2020 23:22
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this is bad guys the dynamite monkey started riding on the skateboard dogs back
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Feb 21, 2020 00:04
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okay, who tf thought it would be a good diea to teach the Contra Code to the dynamite monkey!?
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Feb 21, 2020 00:27
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whistling, sitting under the chimney with a badminton racket, just waiting to utterly ruin this monster's perfect Death Star Kill Shot moment.
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Feb 21, 2020 06:10
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Sounds like a bunch of monkey business, OP |
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Feb 21, 2020 10:08
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:whistling, sitting under the chimney with a badminton racket, just waiting to utterly ruin this monster's perfect Death Star Kill Shot moment. 
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Feb 21, 2020 14:00
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hey dynamite monkey, you suck at throwing
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Feb 21, 2020 14:27
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If he's not throwing barrels at you maybe grab yourself a gigantic sledgehammer and take care of business
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Feb 21, 2020 18:53
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Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:If he's not throwing barrels at you maybe grab yourself a gigantic sledgehammer and take care of business help its either at a 90 or 180 degree angle and nothing in between, what do crimes |
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Feb 21, 2020 22:57
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what are you going to do with that dynamite, monkey gently caress? better make it count. better kill me in one shot
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Feb 22, 2020 15:32
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:help its either at a 90 or 180 degree angle and nothing in between, what do You're gonna need a Hatori Hanzo sword... https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Feb 24, 2020 19:29
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I'm gonna taunt the dynamite monkey haunting your wife. Try and stop me. |
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Feb 25, 2020 02:32
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google THIS posted:I'm gonna taunt the dynamite monkey haunting your wife. Try and stop me. Touching the poop to hurl it at the dynamite monkey |
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Feb 25, 2020 06:16
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Not a fan of that dynamite monkey
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Feb 25, 2020 20:00
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lets get the neighbor hood to sigh a petition. about the dynamite monkey
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Feb 25, 2020 20:15
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okay you have tried anything. have you tried taunting it?
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Feb 25, 2020 20:28
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monkeys often socialize wit heach other through grooming. have you tried giving yourself fleas and letting him at it? might endear yourself to him that way
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Feb 25, 2020 20:30
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google THIS posted:I'm gonna taunt the dynamite monkey haunting your wife. Try and stop me. (dons my robe and wizard hat) crimes |
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Feb 25, 2020 22:27
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Getting nervous bc dynamite monkeys are against HOA bylaws, they haven't sent me a citation yet but i feel like I'm on borrowed time here |
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Feb 26, 2020 00:02
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DOPE FIEND KILLA G posted:monkeys often socialize wit heach other through grooming. have you tried giving yourself fleas and letting him at it? might endear yourself to him that way what if they're bonobos?! crimes |
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Feb 26, 2020 00:26
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:what if they're bombobos?!
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Feb 26, 2020 19:22
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taunting |
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Feb 26, 2020 19:53
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no longer taunting |
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Feb 26, 2020 19:54
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 00:34 |
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google THIS posted:taunting google THIS posted:no longer taunting Nice aggro control, man! Kudos to the tank team! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Feb 26, 2020 21:22
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