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print out goatse and wave it in their face
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Feb 20, 2020 16:16
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Mozi posted:print out goatse and wave it in their face You should be doing this regardless.
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Feb 20, 2020 16:18
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You have friends? Lol
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Feb 20, 2020 16:19
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Mozi posted:print out goatse and wave it in their face I once had the dubious pleasure of overhearing a copy-writer try to explain goatse to a product manager, in terms that were work-safe. That did not go well, for anyone involved.
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Feb 20, 2020 16:21
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The only person I've ever successfully conned into boarding this sinking ship is MY GIRLFRIEND, and I did it by reading her forums stories when she asked. She fell in love with the World's Dumbest Stalker thread and the Crappy Construction Thread (she rage-hates cheap plumbing fixtures, used to work for a distributor) and eventually she asked me to buy her an account. I said no, because this place is terrible. But she insistently continued to read threads over my shoulder, so one day I caved and bought her an account so she wouldn't have a bad, dumb username and could have a cool, good one instead. She immediately made dozens of effortposts about all the dogs Kohler blows (it's all of them) in the Crappy Construction Thread, then started reading the Interior Design and Florida threads. She now references SA in real life and is at least as weird about it as I am. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you want to introduce people to the forums, Stockholm syndrome seems effective.
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Feb 20, 2020 16:29
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I've tried but y'all were too mean to them in video games
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Feb 20, 2020 16:33
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Only the wealthiest of internet patrons can afford the entrance fee OP tell your friends to become billionaires
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Feb 20, 2020 16:35
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Okay, so heres my advice. Find out what corner of the internet they inhabit then point them towards a thread here where we're making fun of that corner of the internet. For me i was able to get at least on redditor to join and at least read the posts by showing them the /r/relationships thread and the reddit thread (The one where it says something about gender and pedos in the title). I think this works on multiple levels. 1) they 'Get' the humor presented because they're familiar with the thing being made fun of, and they can dip their toes into our brand of goofiness. Even if they dont understand all the SA humor they can still enjoy the thread, and slowly they will come to understand more and more the in-jokes being presented. 2) They get a mirror held up to something they thought was cool and good but now are seeing it from a new perspective. This will poison their experience when trying to go back to enjoy, say, the relationships subreddit and theyll come running back to get another hit of these sweet sweet hot takes. 3) If they keep coming back for that good thread, eventually theyll run out of content and start poking around other threads. next thing you know theyre texting you updates about forums drama you dont care about and you regret ever sharing this site with anyone you know personally.
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Feb 20, 2020 16:39
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gary oldmans diary posted:"watch this attack of the show clip with david thorpe" Attack of the show was a shallow and lovely replacement to the screensavers. TechTV 4L1f3. Also, can't help you OP. When I was younger I would talk about "the forums" and honestly looking back it's loving embarrassing. Now I just "so I saw on this website..." and don't mention where from. You all embarrass me. Especially you OP.
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Feb 20, 2020 16:44
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Tell them it's like gamefaqs but it costs money
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Feb 20, 2020 17:00
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come hang out with permanently sad 30-50 year olds who have hundreds of brainproblems
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Feb 20, 2020 17:07
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FuturePastNow posted:I've tried but y'all were too mean to them in video games What? Was this some time ago? Video games is mostly a big hugbox these days in my experience. It's one of the least mean places on the forums unless you specifically go in to trash talk someone's favorite bad game. Anyway here's my suggestion OP: ask your friends if they like Star Wars. If they say yes, show them our "Star Wars 9/11" photoshops. If that doesn't sell them, nothing will!
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Feb 20, 2020 17:48
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My girlfriend calls something awful 'that dumb little internet club' and she's not remotely wrong. I feel no need to proselytize to anyone on this topic. I loved this take on something awful from David James in his review of a play by the he same name: quote:The title of the play is derived from a dinosauric comedy website and internet forum. Once upon a time the site was on the cutting edge of online comedy. Now it's slowly dying, having transitioned into a safe space for depressed middle-aged men to swap Simpsons memes, pose as Third World Maoists and hold purposefully contrary views on Star Wars.
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Feb 20, 2020 17:57
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Play posted:I loved this take on something awful from David James in his review of a play by the he same name: This review is what broke Lowtax' spine.
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Feb 20, 2020 18:01
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Nihilism and queer pride are “in” right now so just tell them the forums are dead and gay and they’ll be all over this poo poo.
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Feb 20, 2020 18:02
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Alien Sex Manual posted:Nihilism and queer pride are “in” right now so just tell them the forums are dead and gay and they’ll be all over this poo poo. Let's harvest some powerful Rick & Morty energy to advertise the forums! Something Awful: Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna die. Come post?
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Feb 20, 2020 18:04
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They get to talk to me, op
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Feb 20, 2020 18:15
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let them figure it out on their own horse to water etc
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Feb 20, 2020 18:15
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Burt Sexual posted:Just stop posting creamed cormp, it will increase the user base ten fold I don't think you could handle 70 users browsing GBS
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Feb 20, 2020 18:17
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Play posted:My girlfriend calls something awful 'that dumb little internet club' and she's not remotely wrong. I feel no need to proselytize to anyone on this topic. Same here. My wife thinks this place is dumb except when I occasionally share pet pictures or funny r/relationship stories. I once mentioned this site to a friend by name and another person there got super mad because he was a former furry, lol.
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Feb 20, 2020 18:19
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gimme the GOD drat candy posted:it's a half-hearted daisy chain among aging misanthropes drat, I always thought it was a half-hearted circle jerk for aging misanthropes. I'd better get sucking.
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Feb 20, 2020 18:22
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Just tell them about all the great 9/11 and internet inside jokes they could be enjoying, like
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Feb 20, 2020 18:27
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If they’re burgeoning creatives, let them know they can write for the front page and eventually be paid for it after a month.
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Feb 20, 2020 18:29
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Just show them this OP
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Feb 20, 2020 18:31
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Lmao Tzu posted:If they’re burgeoning creatives, let them know they can write for the front page and eventually be paid for it after a month. 2 months.
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Feb 20, 2020 18:31
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P-Mack posted:Just show them this OP i hate that graphic so much.
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Feb 20, 2020 18:32
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JK Fresco posted:Tell them that it's fun as hell to troll the oversensitive psychos who are the only remaining users after a succession of moronic mods banned anyone with a sense of humor free drad_bert
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Feb 20, 2020 18:33
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My fiancé once started telling my friends I’m on this place only she didn’t know the name so now I’m afraid everyone thinks I’m on Reddit or something. Anyway OP don’t try to recruit others. Proselytizing is what makes Christianity an awful religion.
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Feb 20, 2020 18:36
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P-Mack posted:Just show them this OP
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Feb 20, 2020 18:37
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Tell them if they post itt I will award them 5000 karma and a GOLD star!
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Feb 20, 2020 18:40
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Play posted:I loved this take on something awful from David James in his review of a play by the he same name: accurate
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Feb 20, 2020 18:50
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Chomp8645 posted:Anyway here's my suggestion OP: ask your friends if they like Star Wars. If they say yes, show them our "Star Wars 9/11" photoshops. If that doesn't sell them, nothing will! Holy. Jesus. Mother. Of. gently caress. I never saw that thread before. I'm only at page 5 and already this is the funniest poo poo I've seen here yet, this beats everything. It also confirms that yeah, it's not a good idea to go "Hey you should check out this forum on the internet, it's really funny and informative and there's these hilarious photoshops of the 9/11 jumper getting thrown out of the burning North tower by Darth Vader haha I even saw the famous goatse guy shooting lasers out of his rectum at the South tower to bring it down". Just... keep this to yourself? Also we need more photoshop threads.
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Feb 20, 2020 18:53
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if i ever have to explain SA to people, which i rarely do and always feel deep shame if it occurs, i just say it's like reddit but with a $10 paywall so it keeps a lot of the trash out, and the trash that's here at least has to try and pay to rereg.
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Feb 20, 2020 18:56
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I stopped trying to pitch it like ten years ago, no one cares
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Feb 20, 2020 19:05
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I'll forever be a closeted goon, I don't know how you people can feel anything other than deep shame.
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Feb 20, 2020 19:14
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mind the walrus posted:I describe this place, without a hint of irony or malice, as "a digital nursing home for the autistic." This is correct. Play posted:My girlfriend calls something awful 'that dumb little internet club' and she's not remotely wrong. I feel no need to proselytize to anyone on this topic. Y'all got a link to this? I feel like I missed something significant. Also when I regged on these god forsaken forums fifteen years ago (lurked for longer) the whole thing of the internet was anonymity - I didn't want 'real life' people to know my username or where I posted. Now that I've been a digital autist for fifteen years I certainly don't feel any differently.
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Feb 20, 2020 19:27
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RepeatingMeme posted:Okay, so heres my advice. Find out what corner of the internet they inhabit then point them towards a thread here where we're making fun of that corner of the internet. One of them beelined to CD and then left because of a poor first impression. But CD has always been kinda...you know
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Feb 20, 2020 19:29
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Chewbecca posted:Y'all got a link to this? I feel like I missed something significant. what I quoted was definitely the most relevant part, but it is kind of wacky that there was even a play called something awful managed to find it by searching "something awful" must include the word "dinosauric" lol http://www.londoncitynights.com/2020/01/review-something-awful-at-vault.html
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Feb 20, 2020 19:29
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For what it’s worth my 3 previous exes know what SA and keyboard goop and goatse is because what better way is there to supplement post coitus pillowtalk than with browsing China.jpg and Russia.jpg threads
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Feb 20, 2020 19:33
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i call this place my "online sports talk forum" because its the most understandable format and people just shrug and move on im not gonna bore anyone with explaining GBS or whatever
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Feb 20, 2020 19:33
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