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Also, lost dog WELCOME TO MLS, WHERE THE RULES ARE MADE UP, THE POINTS DON'T MATTER, WE ALL HAVE SHOULDER STRIPES, AND IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL THEY MIGHT GIVE YOU AN EXPANSION TEAM It's Friday, February 28, 2019, and tomorrow begins the 25th Major League Soccer season, the top mens' league in the US and Canada. That's right, because it's a leap year, the season starts in February, meaning Taylor Twellman has to work on his birthday. 25 years, man, can you fuckin' believe it? I think this is also the 15th anniversary of this thread. It's my 17th season as a Revs season ticket holder, 18th overall. First game was MLS Cup 2002 and I came back. 25 years of shootouts, rule changes, expansions, contractions, that period where there were only three owners and ten teams and things almost collapsed [for real, folks, this is why Kraft, regardless of popular appearances, has a LOT of credit], football lines, video game tifo, disrespected colors, drinking, sobering, road trips, singing, sawing, shooting, ringing...it's all here and it's all stupid and it's ours. Where else you gonna have a casual chat with the head of your national federation while holding a player hug pillow? Where else do players try to go home with slices of wood? Where else do fans name their derby match after a Christian fundamentalist billboard? Where else do Latin American players recruit their countrymen by saying "hey, turns out the checks clear and nobody fucks with you when you lose a game?" None but MLS! There are actually a lot of changes this year besides the league being able to rent a car without a surcharge: --Miami has a team. It's Inter Miami, the Beckham squad, not a resurrected Fusion, although maybe they have to rename it later because there's a legal dispute with Inter Milan. Someone who went to law school and had more head injuries than me can elaborate on that. --Nashville also has a team. --Cincinnati decided to start the year off with an unprecedented commitment to true MLS stupidity, by having Darren Mattocks face felony insurance fraud charges outside Pittsburgh for something I think my uncle Terry did once (maybe it was Patrick, I can't remember which), and suspending, then firing their coach for what was initially reported as not getting the memo old white European coaches are not permitted to sing along with certain rap lyrics in the US and Canada. The players' union later posted a statement saying "trust us, if it were just that, we'd be cool with a fine and sensitivity training, but there's a lot you're not getting" and a bunch of Dutch people flooded MLS twitter with "KDFGHKDH HE'S NOT RACIST YOU ARE THE REAL RACIST" tweets probably right after they applauded the players in Portugal and Germany for standing up to racist fans over there, I guess when it's players over here they don't count. --Speaking of players' unions, there's a new CBA this year, the highlight of which is they get to have eight charter flights, which will ease some of the commercial air travel related schedule pitfalls. And there's more money and poo poo, too. --Schedule-wise, it's more off-balance than ever, with each team missing out on three out of conference teams. In New England's case, that means we don't play Dallas or LA Galaxy this year, which is honestly kind of a bummer, as all 9 original teams should be playing each other in an anniversary year. Especially given NE and LAG have some MLS Cup related history, and FCD and NE have both Open Cup history but also their fan bases have a strong friendship from hosting MLS Cups. --The Fire gave up on Bridgeview and moved back to Soldier Field, which is decent, but in the process threw out a really strong logo in favor of some dopey unreadable craft brewery bullshit using RSL's colors. --Several teams dumped truckloads of money on imports over the winter, most notably the Galaxy, who brought in Chespirito. --There's a new MLS Anthem by Hans Zimmer: https://twitter.com/MLSist/status/1233054741590089733 And the Philadelphia Union are a team that exists. ... WHAT'S AT STAKE Trophies and tournaments to be won, besides MLS Cup: CONCACAF Champions League, Multilevel Marketing Canadian Championship, Supporters' Shield, US Open Cup. There's now Leagues Cup if you're nostalgic for Superliga, which I don't think anyone is except New England. All-Star Game is at LAFC vs LigaMX Men's World Cup qualifying already in progress, as is NationsLeague; the latter is mostly there so I can make jokes about the inadequacy of the Treaty of Versailles. ... WHAT'S ON TV Nationally, Fox networks, ESPN networks, Univision networks, and TSN/RDS networks. Don't speak Spanish for Univision? Direto a la chingada, pendejo, but they got an SAP English audio option. How you get those channels is up to you, your cable/satellite/internet provider, and your favorite computer herpes-riddled pirate stream site. Locally and online, ESPN+ in the US, DAZN in Canada. Several teams have moved to 100% streaming rather than tv coverage, which is kinda weird. Streaming details League TV and streaming schedule with instructions on how to use SAP ... SHOULD I GO TO A GAME? Hell yes. If you've got an MLS, NWSL, USL, PDL, NCAA, etc team in your area, get out to a game if at all possible. It ain't gonna be Bayern Munich vs Barcelona, but you'll have a good time and meet fun people. Likewise, if there's folks in your neighborhood who meet up at a bar for viewing parties, drop on by. If you happen to be traveling somewhere that lines up with being able to see a game in person (even if not your team) or attend a viewing, tell us all, someone will hook you up. The best way to experience American soccer is to show up and have a good time. ... WHAT'S IN THIS THREAD News, views, discussion, running jokes, and CascadiaChat about MLS. Ladies now here. USL/PDL, whatever lower divisions, get their own thread. NCAA soccer chat--Tomorrow's Draft Picks and Waiver Claims Today!--might show up in the fall, might not. Why MLS is/is not bad, why Europe/Latin America is better, why don't we have promotion/relegation, and what expansion means to you are definitely new and exciting topics we're all dying to hear about. Live weekly or monthly in-game threads for your game day OH loving HELL commentary will be posted separately. Fantasy league TEAM CREST HERE REFERENCES: MLS AIN'T JUST A LEAGUE, IT'S A DEGREE Boys Schedule Transactions Du Nord, Soccer Insider, The Athletic Athletic costs money but is worth it and everybody's on twitter, instagram, snapchat these days for your social media needs ... The coolers are packed. The jerseys are bought. The banners are painted. The mohawks are bleached. The chainsaws and muskets are oiled. The cannons are loaded. The stars have aligned. Let us celebrate the opening of the 2020 MLS season with the adding of chocolate to milk and the team intros and running jokes to this thread. Hoover Dam fucked around with this message at 01:55 on Feb 29, 2020 |
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Feb 29, 2020 00:55
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Thanks for posting this. I hope the team from seattle has as much luck this year as they did last night.
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Feb 29, 2020 01:06
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Good OP, Hoover, thanks! After missing the whole season next year I’m excited to just go to a match. Bummed the Revs aren’t playing the Galaxy as that match was always entertaining, but we’ll live I guess. I’m excited to see Pepito Rossi again. He’s a good lad who means well and I hope his leg doesn’t explode for the 10th time.
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Feb 29, 2020 01:26
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Hoover Dam posted:WHAT'S IN THIS THREAD Women's soccer has its own thread here.
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Feb 29, 2020 01:35
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whypick1 posted:Women's soccer has its own thread here. sweet thanks
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Feb 29, 2020 01:53
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Can the second lowest payroll in the league make the playoffs? I sure hope so!
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Feb 29, 2020 02:24
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Thanks for the new OP! 2020 roster rules were posted today, despite what the date on the document says. (I'd say that "less than 24 hours before first kick" is cutting it a TAD close except that I am like 99% certain they've been closer). Most of the changes were already laid out in the CBA, but Sam Stejskal from the Athletic noticed two more new wrinkles: https://twitter.com/samstejskal/status/1233559901261180931
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Feb 29, 2020 02:37
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Im excited for this season, can't wait to overpay for beer, disrespect colors, and get told off by suburban dads for not sitting down and singing in Spanish
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Feb 29, 2020 03:01
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I convinced my local bar to get MLS Direct Kick, so that's nice. All the standard-definition soccer I can handle!
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Feb 29, 2020 05:03
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I can't wait for FC Dallas to spend nothing, whine about attendance, and then underperform in the playoffs in the dumbest way possible. IT'S THE FCD WAY
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Feb 29, 2020 07:28
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TFC were objective garbage last year and still made the final so I don't know anymore
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Feb 29, 2020 08:05
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The Philadelphia Union are a team that plays the sport of soccer
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Feb 29, 2020 19:35
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Do you have any proof to back up this wild accusation of yours?
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Feb 29, 2020 19:36
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The timbers defense is going to ship a boatload of goals this season. Edit: Early goal of the year #mls candidate. https://twitter.com/LindsayAdaire/status/1233848976140455936?s=19 Oscar Wild fucked around with this message at 00:23 on Mar 1, 2020 |
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Mar 1, 2020 00:13
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Oscar Wild posted:The timbers defense is going to ship a boatload of goals this season. The fact that people are pissing about a vocal portion of the crowd baying for Olsen’s blood when there’s only one sub, he’s worrying about set pieces, and the team looked absolutely lost and lifeless and not like the home opener...what’s the excuse? There’s no reason for this kind of defending at home in injury time. Absolutely damning.
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Mar 1, 2020 00:41
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Oscar Wild posted:The timbers defense is going to ship a boatload of goals this season. The only thing more MLS would be if it went out for a throw in somehow.
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Mar 1, 2020 00:56
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Proof that MLS isn't like other soccer leagues: an ownership group is buying out the Asian investor and not the other way around. https://twitter.com/novy_williams/status/1233482794904494080 Also, $700M? 
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Mar 1, 2020 02:05
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I like my team of misfits and garbagemen, the Montréal Impact, lead by the smartest most handsome man in the world.
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Mar 1, 2020 02:52
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JayMax posted:I like my team of misfits and garbagemen, the Montréal Impact, lead by the smartest most handsome man in the world.
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Mar 1, 2020 02:54
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In a rare case of an MLS fan getting attention while not being cringeworthy... https://twitter.com/soccer_rabbi/status/1233943350706876421 Crazy Ted fucked around with this message at 04:21 on Mar 1, 2020 |
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Mar 1, 2020 04:11
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Crazy Ted posted:In a rare case of an MLS fan getting attention and while not being cringeworthy... Poor guy is gonna die before his team sees the promised land.
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Mar 1, 2020 04:20
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Crazy Ted posted:More like Thierry Henoui more like thierry ennui
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Mar 1, 2020 06:05
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so MLS is partnered with DAZN for Canada, Europe, countries in South America, but not Japan? ok fine I'll see where I can stream it over h-- oh so there's no way to legally stream MLS in Japan? Cool. at least it seems like the Portland Timbers supporters' group in Japan is going to have more watch parties at the PDX bar in Shibuya (and go mad playing the old Dragonball Z intro if Either Chara ever scores from a header) but come on, DAZN, get your poo poo together.
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Mar 1, 2020 13:50
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February '19: February '20:  Tough loss but it feels amazing to be here. The energy in the stadium was entirely different from our USL games. Keeping my expectations tempered regarding results but I'm really gonna enjoy this season.
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Mar 1, 2020 18:46
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These Red Bulls jerseys are insanely bad, but goals, insanely good
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Mar 1, 2020 19:25
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also: Walker Zimmerman owns, Dax McCarty looks past it, and we need to develop a bit more chemistry and work on the quality of our finishing. otherwise pretty happy with the performance. that high press looks like it's gonna cause opponents some problems this year
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Mar 1, 2020 19:39
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Shep is throwing out some spicy truth bombs... “Red Bulls are playing well because of their high pressing, and also Cincinnati is awful”
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Mar 1, 2020 19:43
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 Poonior Toilett posted:more like thierry ennui
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Mar 1, 2020 20:11
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RIP https://twitter.com/ATLUTD/status/1234247020858224640
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Mar 1, 2020 23:44
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Can't wait to see Orlando still not be able to beat them.
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Mar 1, 2020 23:47
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Too beautiful for this world. So, uh, who's winning the East now?
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Mar 1, 2020 23:52
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I am a happy fan of Seattle Sounders F.C., inventors of soccer
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Mar 2, 2020 00:05
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Edward Mass posted:So, uh, who's winning the East now? I figure it's between Toronto and NYCFC at this point. Or maybe all of those pundits calling Columbus a dark horse pick turn out to be right. Who knows. 
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Mar 2, 2020 00:24
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whypick1 posted:I figure it's between Toronto and NYCFC at this point. Or maybe all of those pundits calling Columbus a dark horse pick turn out to be right. Who knows. I haven't seen Columbus play yet this year, but I think they could be pretty good.
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Mar 2, 2020 00:25
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Edward Mass posted:Too beautiful for this world. New York. One of them.
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Mar 2, 2020 05:17
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Oscar Wild posted:New York. One of them. NYRB when they were on looked fantastic, although as shrap posted Messing's diagnosis of Cinci being hot garbage was definitely also a factor. Valot and Royer could be a lot of fun this year though. And hopefully once Long is back that defense gets shored up slightly. I want to see Sims getting some playing time here too.
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Mar 2, 2020 05:44
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Can't wait for the season to start this Sunday. It seems like this off-season has gone on forever.
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Mar 2, 2020 16:19
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Dafuq? https://twitter.com/dcunited/status/1234520397019783169
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Mar 2, 2020 20:19
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Player/coach situation. He’s good midfield depth and if he brings ANY tactical prowess to the room, we become far better.
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Mar 2, 2020 22:47
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i am happy that the sounders of seattle, where soccer was born, won on sunday
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Mar 3, 2020 01:56
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