Why didn't anyone ever teach me how to butter bread?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Why didn't anyone ever teach me how to butter bread?

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ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Goddamn bread ain�t gonna butter itself, reckon. :clint:

# ? Mar 4, 2020 01:36

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 00:10

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Goddamn bread ain�t gonna butter itself, reckon.

mayhap so

# ? Mar 4, 2020 01:37

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Goddamn bread ain�t gonna butter itself, reckon.

Self buttering bread is, according to the bible, what heralds the end times.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 01:37

Traxis: Jul 2, 2006

https://youtu.be/61WGOJ3oYUw

# ? Mar 4, 2020 01:56

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Literally A Person posted:

Self buttering bread is, according to the bible, what heralds the end times.

Left claw north, right claw south.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 02:03

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

Colonel Cancer posted:

If you have access to wondrous marvels of technology such as a ~~hair dryer~~ vibrator, you may engage it to ~~soften~~ stiffen up the icy ~~bricks of butter~~ prick and nuts before ~~chopping at~~ sucking it with a ~~dull knife~~ damp mouth like a confused ape. I suggest full blow.

ftfy

# ? Mar 4, 2020 02:06

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

BigBadSteve posted:

ftfy

Hey now, you gotta leave work back at the blowjob factory! This is a thread about butter.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 02:08

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

Wutang-Yutani posted:

Here is my guide ( I guess you could call it a LIFEHACK) for perfect buttered bread every time;
1. Gently scrape the knife over the butter to get a thin layer of butter, super thin
2. Place the thin layer of butter on the bread
3. Repeat if you like eating more butter
4. Wait 30 seconds, just suck a dick or something
5. Spread the butter

This thread is about spreading butter and sucking dicks. And I'm on smoko. I don' t smoke dicks on smoko.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 02:12

HerraS: Apr 15, 2012; Looking professional when committing genocide is essential. This is mostly achieved by using a beret.

Olive drab colour ensures the genocider will remain hidden from his prey until it's too late for them to do anything.

why the gently caress are you putting butter on your bread yoi disgusting fat sack of crap

# ? Mar 4, 2020 03:10

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

Obsidianheart posted:

I have never known desire to possess an item as I feel now.

I have one. You may be pleased to know the melted butter is at a temperature that is not high enough to scald when applied, uh, internally

# ? Mar 4, 2020 07:49

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

hey OP you sack of garbage did you figure out butter yet or do you need someone to speak and spell it out to you??? lmao

the OP goes BOOOOOOO!!!

:flip: