BOTM March: THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF BENEVENUTO CELLINI

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > BOTM March: THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF BENEVENUTO CELLINI

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TheGreatEvilKing: Mar 28, 2016

Isn't that when he was trying to bang the girl but the other guy actually impressed her?

# ? Mar 22, 2020 18:50

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 06:14

Kangxi: Nov 12, 2016; "Too paranoid for you?"
"Not me, paranoia's the garlic in life's kitchen, right, you can never have too much."

Oh my God, I was not expecting the whole necromancy thing. War, feuds, Cellini sleeping around, stabbing people, I get that. Necromancy?

# ? Mar 23, 2020 01:07

Hieronymous Alloy: Jan 30, 2009; Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!; Morbid Hound

Kangxi posted:

Oh my God, I was not expecting the whole necromancy thing. War, feuds, Cellini sleeping around, stabbing people, I get that. Necromancy?

This book has it all!

Back when we did Memoirs of Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds by Charles Mackay, there was a chapter on medieval alchemists and how they were all total scam artists, and from what I recall, the "necromancer" Cellini talks to was following the same basic scam playbook.

It makes total sense because Cellini is prime grade-A scam artist fuel: delusional, easily flattered, constantly playing with huge amounts of gold and jewels that aren't his, etc.

Problem is Cellini was too crazy.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 01:37

Hieronymous Alloy: Jan 30, 2009; Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!; Morbid Hound

I'm probably going to put up Decameron for next month because we haven't read it, we already did The Plague, and it has sexy nuns in it and will give us all an excuse to watch The Little Hours. Any other suggestions?

# ? Mar 29, 2020 09:56

cda: Jan 2, 2010; by Hand Knit

It's almost the end of the month so I can bring up my favorite part of this book without worrying about anyone not getting the chance to encounter it without warning.

Chapter 107.

quote:

THE CASTELLAN was subject to a certain sickness, which came upon him every year and deprived him of his wits. The sign of its approach was that he kept continually talking, or rather jabbering, to no purpose. These humours took a different shape each year; one time he thought he was an oiljar; another time he thought he was a frog, and hopped about as frogs do; another time he thought he was dead, and then they had to bury him; not a year passed but he got some such hypochondriac notions into his head. At this season he imagined that he was a bat, and when he went abroad to take the air, he used to scream like bats in a high thin tone; and then he would flap his hands and body as though he were about to fly. The doctors, when they saw the fit coming on him, and his old servants, gave him all the distractions they could think of; and since they had noticed that he derived much pleasure from my conversation, they were always fetching me to keep him company. At times the poor man detained me for four or five stricken hours without ever letting me cease talking. He used to keep me at his table, eating opposite to him, and never stopped chatting and making me chat; but during those discourses I contrived to make a good meal. He, poor man, could neither eat nor sleep; so that at last he wore me out. I was at the end of my strength; and sometimes when I looked at him, I noticed that his eyeballs were rolling in a frightful manner, one looking one way and the other in another.

He took it into his head to ask me whether I had ever had a fancy to fly. I answered that it had always been my ambition to do those things which offer the greatest difficulties to men, and that I had done them; as to flying, the God of Nature had gifted me with a body well suited for running and leaping far beyond the common average, and that with the talents I possessed for manual art I felt sure I had the courage to try flying. He then inquired what methods I should use; to which I answered that, taking into consideration all flying creatures, and wishing to imitate by art what they derived from nature, none was so apt a model as the bat. No sooner had the poor man heard the name bat, which recalled the humour he was suffering under, than he cried out at the top of his voice: “He says true-he says true; the bat’s the thing-the bat’s the thing!” Then he turned to me and said: “Benvenuto, if one gave you the opportunity, should you have the heart to fly?” I said if he would set me at liberty, I felt quite up to flying down to Prati, after making myself a pair of wings out of waxed linen. Thereupon he replied: “I too should be prepared to take flight; but since the Pope has bidden me guard you as though you were his own eyes, and I know you a clever devil who would certainly escape, I shall now have you locked up with a hundred keys in order to prevent you slipping through my fingers.” I then began to implore him, and remind him that I might have fled, but that on account of the word which I had given him I would never have betrayed his trust: therefore I begged him for the love of God, and by the kindness he had always shown me, not to add greater evils to the misery of my present situation. While I was pouring out these entreaties, he gave strict orders to have me bound and taken and locked up in prison. On seeing that it could not be helped, I told him before all his servants: “Lock me well up, and keep good watch on me; for I shall certainly contrive to escape.” So they took and confined me with the utmost care.

Overall the part where Cellini is imprisoned and then stages a prison break is my favorite part of the whole book, but the fact that it happens because the jailer goes nuts and thinks he's a bat is my favorite part of my favorite part. And it comes out of loving nowhere and Cellini never acknowledges how totally insane it is.

# ? Mar 29, 2020 10:26

cda: Jan 2, 2010; by Hand Knit

I also love that the guy asks him whether he's ever considered flying and Cellini is like "I'm better are running and jumping than most people, so if anyone could do it, I can do it"

# ? Mar 29, 2020 10:29

anilEhilated: Feb 17, 2014; But I say fuck the rain.; Grimey Drawer

You can add that to the considerable list of Cellini's achievements: pulled one over the Batman.

Anyway, I assume we've already done Blindness?

# ? Mar 29, 2020 10:47

Safety Biscuits: Oct 21, 2010

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

I'm probably going to put up Decameron for next month because we haven't read it, we already did The Plague, and it has sexy nuns in it and will give us all an excuse to watch The Little Hours. Any other suggestions?

Yes, let's watch Pasolini's Decameron film too.

# ? Mar 29, 2020 15:15

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

Isnt the decameron nearly 1000 pages

# ? Mar 29, 2020 17:49

Hieronymous Alloy: Jan 30, 2009; Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!; Morbid Hound

Mel Mudkiper posted:

Isnt the decameron nearly 1000 pages

What, like you don't have time to read right now?

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:14

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

I have books about japanese perverts to read I dont have time for italian perverts

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:41

Tree Goat: May 24, 2009; argania spinosa

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

I'm probably going to put up Decameron for next month because we haven't read it, we already did The Plague, and it has sexy nuns in it and will give us all an excuse to watch The Little Hours. Any other suggestions?

I have some notes on the Decameron that I pulled out for my plague lit thread, I will try to get them in a legible shape

# ? Mar 30, 2020 01:24

Minenfeld!: Aug 21, 2012

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

What, like you don't have time to read right now?

A Journal of the Plague Year by Daniel Defoe please.

# ? Mar 30, 2020 02:17

Philthy: Jan 28, 2003; Pillbug

I'm struggling with this book. It's like groundhog day. I've gotta be like 200 pages in and it's Benevenuto getting in trouble and stabbing people in the face every 5 pages. Then the loving prison break bat man lunacy hits and I can't set this aside. jfc The whole "necromancy" thing 50 pages prior seems kinda normal at this point. Also lmao at them taking pot shots at pigeons and people freaking out that it's just Benevenuto trying to murder someone again.

Philthy fucked around with this message at 06:31 on Mar 30, 2020

# ? Mar 30, 2020 06:28

cda: Jan 2, 2010; by Hand Knit

Terry Gilliam is kind of a poo poo person and it's been a while since he's been on his directing game but I will forever wonder what he could have made of this book in his prime.

# ? Mar 30, 2020 17:30

The North Tower: Aug 20, 2007; You should throw it in the ocean.

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

I'm probably going to put up Decameron for next month because we haven't read it, we already did The Plague, and it has sexy nuns in it and will give us all an excuse to watch The Little Hours. Any other suggestions?

Hell yeah. I have notes for this one.

# ? Mar 30, 2020 18:26

L.H.O.O.Q.: Jan 3, 2013

cda posted:

Terry Gilliam is kind of a poo poo person and it's been a while since he's been on his directing game but I will forever wonder what he could have made of this book in his prime.

Thread necromancy sorry. I was idly browsing here and loved this book when I read it ages ago.

Anyway, oddly enough Terry Gilliam was involved with an adaptation of this. I saw a staging of Berlioz�s Cellini opera that was designed by Gilliam. Was all right...it had a good bronze casting scene. Not a patch on the book though.

# ? Aug 23, 2020 00:29

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 06:14

cda: Jan 2, 2010; by Hand Knit

L.H.O.O.Q. posted:

Thread necromancy sorry. I was idly browsing here and loved this book when I read it ages ago.

Anyway, oddly enough Terry Gilliam was involved with an adaptation of this. I saw a staging of Berlioz’s Cellini opera that was designed by Gilliam. Was all right...it had a good bronze casting scene. Not a patch on the book though.

... There's an opera?

Of course there's a opera. Such an operatic book. Thanks for bringing this up, I am gonna listen to it now.

# ? Aug 23, 2020 15:24

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > BOTM March: THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF BENEVENUTO CELLINI

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