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Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот
I will never repeat my weak-willed garbage of voting for the moderate like I did with 2016, Democrats delenda est

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Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

the yeti posted:

I think this is my first toxx in (almost exactly) 12 years of goon-itude

14 but same, this one seems too easy but also mandatory tbh

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

Quiet Feet posted:

This thread confuses me because I literally cannot wrap my head around the thought of voting for Joe Biden. It's like promising not to cram your butt in the toaster.

But since I'm here, I will not vote for Joe Biden and I will not get my butt caught in the toaster. :toxx:

i'll also toxx that i will not vote for joe biden with my rear end in any sort of cooking device

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

xrunner posted:

A Bernie voter, a trump voter, and a Biden voter are set to be guillotined.

The trump voter goes first. The blade stops inches above his neck. “Huh see my faith in Trmup is supreme. You can’t kill me. It’s divine intervention.” Everyone looks around and shrugs and they let him go.

The Bernie voter goes next. Again the blade stops inches above his neck. “Building on the world we have we can see that a better future is possible” he exclaims. They let him go.

They put the Biden voter in. “Hey Jack can you put me in so my face is towards the blade?” he asks, drooling a little. Everyone shrugs. Again the blade stops inches above his neck. The Biden voter smiles. “Right there, fat. It ain’t working cause the track is misaligned. You just need to make a small incremental change and this thing’ll chop like nobody’s business”

the only thing funnier than this is the idea of someone voting for Biden and expecting anything good to come from it

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

Code Jockey posted:

Hey man, hey man, Raprock Osama and me ran a good campaign, remember him? My friend? Don't you want that again

jotheft bidenailures trending in july 2020

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

ikanreed posted:

Wait. Hold on. What if he was running for city waste manager. The most harm he could do there is privatize trash pickup

conflict of interest, garbage can't run for garbage man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBryGe1USG0

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

Pollyanna posted:

no surrender motherfuckers

lol at people who think the gun would remotely be a threat compared to a biden administration

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

pyrotek posted:

Same. Doubt it will be the last time, sadly.

i was so excited in 2000 i got to do the cool mail in ballot my second year of college and it was gonna be cool

now i'm debating earnestly between which write-in joke is funniest and it seems more honest anyway

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

Jewel Repetition posted:

We need to offer an extra, elite gang tag for swing state voters. Warm up that moddin finger

if biden becomes the nominee i wonder if they're counting on missouri as a swing state because lolllllllllllllllll

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот
Kodos

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот
people earnestly arguing about supreme court picks being important despite having observed the nomination fiasco of merrick garland and how Republicans will handle Biden's nominees

just loving lmao

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

HerniaFlange posted:

You know how some people gently caress? Well, Joe Biden sharts.



ALL OVER PEOPLE'S ABILITY TO EXIT THEIR STUDENT LOANS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I am in for about $90K and I'm a freaking baby loaner compared to some of my friends' debts, and even then if all Bernie could do was something like M4A and some racial justice and LGBTQ protections I'd be incredibly happy with the outcome. I am that beaten down that I'd be cool with that and even then the establishment still would prefer Blue Trump except he "feels" more innocent, and people keep shouting at me to not talk down voting for Joe because he won't embolden the racists/islamophobes/transphobes/homophobes, but you know who would REALLY send the message that they can go gently caress themselves? I am loving furious about the continued direction of this country and I'm ashamed that it took Trump's election to finally force me to realize the Democratic Party is a poisoned well that my friends keep insisting I drink from.
Edit becaus gently caress spoilering that I loving mean it.

it's a good thread because technically i could probably shout angrily about joe biden in specific until november and not have enough words for it because he's like hillary clinton with more baggage and not even pretending to promise the one or two progressive lies she promised, and all while somehow leaning on even more flimsy idpol than her since it's just BACK TO NORMAL VOTE FOR BLACK MAN'S FRIEND

joe biden is a gently caress you to anybody to ever suffered for anything and are an awful generation trying to pretend they fixed something before they die knowing their children loathe them and being afraid of them

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

etalian posted:

lmao even if Bernie Bros did support Sleepy Joe it would still be the establishment blame game when Sleepy loses this Nov.

Bernie supported Crooked Hillary and as a reward she threw him under the bus / went out her way to bad mouth him years later.

i remember thinking in 2016 that i should at least support hillary because otherwise i'd feel stupid trying to have criticism afterwards and i'm having a hard time reconciling that person with reality now

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

HerniaFlange posted:

Folks, I have a dark secret to reveal: I am Joe Biden.
But you know what? Even I won't vote for myself. Have you seen how I act around women? Barf.

Voted for himself to continue running for president by not not voting, mods

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

HerniaFlange posted:

Okay fine I'm not Joe Biden. You got me.

sounds like something joe biden would say

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот
BIDEN'S BRAIN

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

Pollyanna posted:

ngl I kinda want to see biden crash and burn in november

If I hadn't been fully convinced by the Democrats that lesser evil is garbage horseshit for idiot babies, I'd feel compelled to vote Trump just to make it as awful as possible for them, but thankfully I live in the swing state of Missouri which they apparently think Biden has a chance in, all while the state government is doing its best to put faith healers out of business

as it stands though nothing would possibly make me happier than everywhere but CA and NY going red. That's unrealistic since there's gerrymandering everywhere but I can still dream of another 1984 for the Democrats

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

bernie won't quit so we can't get joe prepped on what to lie about for the general because he still has to make up lies to please his corporate masters in the primary, and he's so oatmeal-headed it'll take months to get him to read the script properly, lol

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот
i will never vote for joe biden but as an olive branch to the middle i will consider voting for joe biden's corpse if it is portrayed by terry kiser

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

i will vote for Joe Synod in november

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

Rastor posted:

Oh no, if I don't vote for the racist senile rapist, the racist senile rapist might win!!!

faster, rapist! rapist is gaining on us

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот
turns out the half life on believing women is roughly 2 years, rape is fine now if you're a democrat, thank u alyssa

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот
i've been avoiding most news as much as i can but seeing a goddamn #metoo superstar jumping up to campaign for a rapist because she stands to benefit from his economic policies is making me see red, what a waste of a human being

I should have expected as much after how much shitlibs threw a fit that Al Franken should be held to account, so obviously the black president's racist friend can rape too

goddamn gently caress alyssa milano but at least she's not joe biden, the rapist

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

Son of Sam-I-Am posted:

you mean it's fine again, right?

that's true I suppose it was silly to think they ever stopped forgiving it for their side, I suppose I was just in a delusional state for a few years where I thought democrats gave a poo poo about victims of rape when all they care about is when a republcian is doing the raping lol

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

moist turtleneck posted:

cant wait for Those People to be even more mad this year lol

https://twitter.com/AdamJSmithGA/status/1246579307901788165?s=20

i always forget that these people think a lot of us didn't go against our better judgment and vote for garbage lady in 2016

cmon 1984 electoral map

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот
those any functioning adult 2020 adult baby tantrum signs must not be selling great right now all things considered

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

OutOfPrint posted:

The gently caress is a BoBer? Ber is Bernie, but Bo?

These cutesy, infantilizing nicknames the libs keep dreaming up because they can't morally argue policy are getting more indecipherable.

bernie or buster by context but i'm not clicking on twitter to make sure

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот
¡Beb!

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот
the latest line I'm seeing a lot of today from the libs is "Well I really wanted Bernie/Warren to win and I don't like Biden and I'm mad we have to support him but here we are"

these people are all conservatives and are happy to support rape if a democrat is doing it, meanwhile it's very easy to say I will never vote for any rapist, for instance, Joe Biden the rapist.

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

Tetracube posted:

not even joe biden tells people to vote for joe biden

this is all a hillary clinton psyop, but not in the way we think, it's all just to make hillary 2016 look like a competently-run campaign and we're all falling for it

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

the response to this is such garbage that I think we should start treating The Hill tweets like we do Bill Mitchell ones

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

MarcusSA posted:

some of the replies are pretty good though.

a conundrum

they're a poo poo-smelling pinata where funny posts come out when you hit it, but you can't get rid of the poo poo smell without getting rid of the funny posts

i meant to not mix metaphors there but i joe bidened it and chose not to correct it, like the dnc

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

BrutalistMcDonalds posted:

I will not vote for Joe Biden

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:

The only thing left to debate is if it will be a Reagan style blowout for Trump or a Nixon style blowout for Trump

neither, I think dark horse New Mexico will be the sole Biden state this time, it's their turn to have intolerable bumper stickers imo

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

The Grimace posted:

This wouldn't have to happen, if the dems would just get smart and give us Medicare for All. Or a working wage. Or... gently caress, anything. :colbert:

haha that's good tell another

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

Fleetwood posted:

joe biden has an enlarged heart, from drinking piss

incorrect, that's an action far too presidential for Joe Biden

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

Iron Crowned posted:

If you vote for Joe Biden, you are a bad person

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

Shalebridge Cradle posted:

Hey it worked in 92 and 96 so

Developments in allegations against the DNC amplify efforts to question their behavior

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот
let's work on fixing rape by working within the rape system

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Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот

taqueso posted:

I'm gen x, I can't be relied upon for anything.

Well except not voting joe, but this is a special

as an ancient millennial, i am responsible for the slaying of many industries, but never responsible for voting for rapist and democratic presidential nominee joseph biden

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