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https://investornews.vanguard/a-message-from-vanguards-ceo-on-the-coronavirus/ CEO Tim Buckley discusses the effects of the coronavirus on the markets and how investors can withstand uncertainty. Transcript Hi, I’m Tim Buckley, Vanguard’s CEO. These are challenging times as the world prepares for, and responds to, the coronavirus outbreak. Like you, we’ve watched the rising numbers of those infected by the virus with concern and wish a swift and full recovery for those who are ill. We applaud the worldwide efforts to prevent further infections and tragic deaths. We here at the bunker don't want to get that poo poo! There is still much we don’t know about this epidemic. The health risk is real and the short-term business impact has been significant. The economic consequences, however, are unlikely to be long term for those of us that actually have money. We’re seeing the population of people who aren't rich plummet one day and probably bounce back the next, as investors who can't afford health insurance process that uncertainty. At Vanguard, we’re known for counseling investors to “stay the course” in good times and bad, which means keeping a long-term perspective and focusing on the parts of investing you can control, such as keeping you and your family safe from the virus that was designed by the rich to kill of the poor people on this rock who are really just making GBS threads the whole place up, which makes it tough on the "real people" like you and me. Now “stay the course” is an easy commitment when markets are calm and steadily moving upward, as they have for more than a "decade". It’s much harder to stay disciplined in today’s environment as markets fluctuate and the near-term future is uncertain. We preach diversification so you can weather these tough times and stay invested. I really hope that it's working. Don't remove your computer-allocated investments, because our bunker is almost complete in it's construction. In my 30 years in the business, I’ve seen many market storms. Re-pricings are inevitable, sometimes violent, some homosexual in nature...but never predictable. Panic and rash action aren’t your ally. Those who cash out find it impossible to know when to get back in. Indeed, investors that deviate from their long-term plans typically regret it later. But if you are dead, can you really regret something? It's my belief that you can, and maybe even might. The coronavirus epidemic itself was not something we could predict, as those of us on the Shadow Council thought it wouldn't affect our bottom lines in any way negative, but we constantly prepare for unexpected bouts of volatility. Our experienced investment teams know how to navigate difficult markets, especially the future markets experiencing global pandemics that could probably or maybe kill everyone on earth. Our active managers often find long-term growth opportunities as markets sell off. Our inactive managers make more money, but we're still trying to figure that one out. Our index managers ensure (not insure, lets not be crazy) proper liquidity as many wise advice strategies rebalance into the downturn—selling bonds and buying equities. Is it rebalance or re-balance? I originally used the prior version, to which my word processor gave me an unusual set of red squiggles beneath it. It must just be so correct that the program wants to congragulate me for it. There it goes again. Congragulate...because college graguations are always for the better, smarter, AND healthier. Vanguard investors have proven time and again and again they know how to stay calm in a market downturn. But for those who are not given such a strict Xanax regiment, or for those weathering their first bout of market volatility, or could just use a friendly reminder, let me offer three quick points. First, we stand by our mantra—“stay the course” I forgot a period on the end of that sentence. But if i left it out, how could I continue on to my definition of a three word sentence fragment encapsulated by quotiation marks? I broke this into multiple paragraphs so that it might seem more important. Even Though It's One Idea... An investment plan established during calmer times should not be abandoned in the midst of a market downturn, nor a global viral meltdown. Let the benefits of diversification play out! Please read our disclaimer in regards to diversification below. I know how difficult it is to see hard-earned savings diminish, but don’t be tempted to time the markets. Especially the healthcare market. It’s a losing strategy. Our studies have shown that chasing returns has historically destroyed 1.5% a year versus staying the course. That course, is Death, of course. If you had 1.5% less money in heaven, wouldn't you feel like an rear end in a top hat? Do you wan't to be an rear end in a top hat in heaven? Second, we are here to help. That's right, while you are over there, we are here. Far away from the coronavirus. Whether you’re new to investing or a seasoned financial adviser, Vanguard is here in the safety of a fallout bunker fully equipped to support our lives up to 15 generations out in order to support you. Our websites are constantly refreshed with our latest thinking on the markets and economy. And our experts offer practical advice on how to put this perspective to work in your portfolios. For more specific requests, our crew are ready to assist you. Again, this is from a remote location unbeknownst to the vast majority of mankind...which is the perfect location for us to always be alive to help you. gently caress that coronavirus, for us for real. Don’t feel like you need to go it alone, even if all of your family and friends have passed away from some sort of Latino beer sickness. Our mission is to help you succeed, so reach out if we can be of help. If you reach out too far and touch our bunker, you will be vaporized by our market volatility cannons. Fair warning. And, finally, thank you if you still have your numbers in our computer. Thank you for entrusting us with your financial success, and not your actual success. It’s a tremendous responsibility that we take very seriously. Not seriously enough to keep you alive, but seriously enough for us to keep us alive by and through you. Amidst the uncertain world around us, I am confident that these tough times will pass and we will emerge stronger than before. By we I mean us. The ones in the bunker. Not just like "everybody", but more like, you know, "us"... to say the least, at least, for our, and your, sake. Valuations were high, the markets have repriced, but your long-term growth prospects remain sound. Can you hear them? We can, because, that's how sound they, are. As always, we look forward to partnering with you no matter the market conditions or global viral outbreak and helping you reach your investment goals. Thank you. Important information: Did you think all of this was important? It wasn't. All investing is subject to risk, including possible loss of principal or life. If the latter happens, we get the principal? There is no guarantee that any particular asset allocation or mix of funds will meet your investment objectives or provide you with a given level of income. The is, however, a guarantee of outcome: death by coronavirus, or by being annihilated by the drones that guard our underground bunker when you try to break in for the safety of you and your family(s). James Bond funds are subject to the risk that an issuer will fail to make payments on time, and that James Bond prices will decline because of rising interest rates or negative perceptions of an issuer’s ability to make payments. Let's be real, he shows up all over the world every single time for like why? To hurt a rich guy with aspirations? What a socialist. Diversification does not ensure a profit or protect against a loss. We actually hate diversification. Oh come on, don't twist our words. Investments in stocks or bonds issued by non-U.S. companies are subject to risks including country/regional risk and currency risk. Investments in stocks or bonds issued by U.S. companies are also subject to risks including country/regional risk and currency risk. Coronavirus is kind of all over the loving place. We hope you only read the first sentence in this last break, in order to promote the fascist ideal we are trying to promote here. "US" good, everyone else bad. Remember, as long as WE do good, you might too!
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Mar 4, 2020 07:05
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 19:51 |
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B^U
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Mar 4, 2020 07:07
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Victor Lustly posted:We hope you only read the first sentence in this last break
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Mar 4, 2020 07:08
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haha yeah they do have the same name thats weird man far out dang
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Mar 4, 2020 07:11
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Victor Lustly posted:And, finally, thank you if you still have your numbers in our computer.
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Mar 4, 2020 07:11
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i read all those words and now I have the power of flight
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Mar 4, 2020 07:13
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What is Tim Legion's thoughts on the coronavirus?
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Mar 4, 2020 07:20
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I pulled all my funds out of Vanguard and used them to buy vintage pornography, which will surely be the currency after the fall.
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Mar 4, 2020 07:22
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Mar 4, 2020 07:24
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I didnt read but it's a rich guy so he can gargle unwashed balls
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Mar 4, 2020 07:27
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Tim Buckley's the guy that drew "Loss" right?
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Mar 4, 2020 07:31
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Foo Diddley posted:Tim Buckley's the guy that drew "Loss" right?
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Mar 4, 2020 07:34
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"Sometimes homosexual" Say what now? Dudes on another planet.
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Mar 4, 2020 09:03
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I hope we can move past this virus and heal.
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Mar 4, 2020 09:24
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quote:In my 30 years in the business, I’ve seen many market storms. Re-pricings are inevitable, sometimes violent, some homosexual in nature... 
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Mar 4, 2020 09:51
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i wonder when aids was first announced if the price of condoms skyrocketed due to everyone triple wrapping
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Mar 4, 2020 10:18
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..What? Oh c'mon, I know you were all waiting for it
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Mar 4, 2020 12:23
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Waiting for cumshitter to comment on this.
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Mar 4, 2020 12:30
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i've poo poo cum a few times and honestly i should have built a posting persona around it while i had the chance
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Mar 4, 2020 13:28
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Wtf is all that text c'mon sir
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Mar 4, 2020 13:43
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Mar 4, 2020 13:53
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Robo Reagan posted:haha yeah they do have the same name thats weird man far out dang Just slapping my knee and having a hearty chortle as the synapses fire from remembering a thing that happened over a decade ago because getting involved in some dumb feud between gaming webcomics is a major life event for me.
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Mar 4, 2020 13:56
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Wait. IT'S STILL UPDATING!?!
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Mar 4, 2020 14:00
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Mar 4, 2020 14:01
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:Wait. now i know what loss really feels like
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Mar 4, 2020 14:03
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Nefarious 2.0 posted:i read all those words and now I have the power of flight
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Mar 4, 2020 14:09
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Mar 4, 2020 14:10
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This is the weirdest Loss yet
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Mar 4, 2020 14:13
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He updated his art and yet they still all have the B^U expressions.
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Mar 4, 2020 14:14
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I thought he was doing a new, okay-er comic
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Mar 4, 2020 14:22
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i see he now only does 3 panels max
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Mar 4, 2020 15:42
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Krolm posted:..What? Oh c'mon, I know you were all waiting for it  well, this is...better?
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Mar 4, 2020 15:54
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Wow, this is truly a world class poo poo thread right here. Keep it up!
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Mar 4, 2020 16:19
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YeahTubaMike posted:well, this is...better? Relatively. The faces still take up 90% of the front of the head. And Ethan's hair is still a bird. (RIP Hairy O'Birdigan). Also, count me in as "It's still updating?" I thought he gave up the main characters and stuck with the players or somesuch.
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Mar 4, 2020 16:27
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Wtf why is CAD back
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Mar 4, 2020 16:29
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really queer Christmas posted:Wtf why is CAD back And is his girlfriend still dead from xbox?
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Mar 4, 2020 16:44
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mojo1701a posted:Relatively. The faces still take up 90% of the front of the head. it's just so ugly, no matter what the art style evolves into there's another comic that is similarly ugly and i can't remember the name of it. everyone had super long noses and looked like they had severe scoliosis, and it wasn't penny arcade. aaaaahhh someone help me remembeeeerrrr, i want to reminisce about the old webcomic thread really queer Christmas posted:Wtf why is CAD back did it ever leave?
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Mar 4, 2020 16:49
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FlimFlam Imam posted:Wow, this is truly a world class poo poo thread right here. Keep it up! loss.jpg is just bazinga for people who think big bang theory is nerd blackface
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Mar 4, 2020 16:51
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Joust posted:And is his girlfriend still dead from xbox? Oh god that's right. Wasnt the end him pressing the off button on that xbox or something thus killing everyone. How did we get here
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Mar 4, 2020 16:57
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 19:51 |
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out of curiosity i had a gander to see what PA was up to these days uh.... i think someone may have had a stroke?
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Mar 4, 2020 17:37
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