you have come home to find your j o crystal has been fully charged

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problematic hug

it wasn�t like that when you left it you are pretty sure

# ? Mar 5, 2020 04:46

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 05:22

problematic hug

you begin compiling a list of the most probable suspects. you are vaguely aware of increased solar flare activity also though

# ? Mar 5, 2020 04:50

problematic hug

does it work like that? it might work like that. you decide you do not know enough about crystals at this time

# ? Mar 5, 2020 04:53

problematic hug

you consider consulting some sort of shaman

# ? Mar 5, 2020 04:55

problematic hug

you do not know any shamans. the crystal is so very luminous.

# ? Mar 5, 2020 04:59

owlhawk911: come chill with me, in byob

a good first step when you find your j/o crystal more charged than you think it should be is checking your pants. the crystal doesn't lie

https://giant.gfycat.com/PlasticAngryHousefly.webm
_{this sig a mf'n vanisher joint. gobbos by khanstant}

# ? Mar 5, 2020 05:03

problematic hug

you check the state of your pants i guess. they are an exact average for an internet poster in terms of filth. distressing. no answers here

# ? Mar 5, 2020 05:10

problematic hug

whats more this is a gender neutral crystal you distinctly remember. thats great and all but it means you cant rule anyone out

# ? Mar 5, 2020 05:19

problematic hug

it is day 2 since The Event and the crystal has not dimmed at all?? you had to hide it somewhere so you could sleep, it was so bright.

# ? Mar 5, 2020 05:22

problematic hug

anyway i�m going to bed irl i hope you get your crystal situation under control

# ? Mar 5, 2020 05:23

weed cat: weed cat is back, and he loves to suck dick

you charge it by j-ing o, right? what's the end goal? if it's supercharged, can you just touch it to your junk and you nut instantly? i am left with many questions

# ? Mar 5, 2020 05:30

Manifisto

this is important: does merely making the jerking-off motion (for example, as a form of subtle social critique) affect the crystal? even if only a small amount, a perceptive person in this day and age will find many many situations worthy of the jerking-off motion, possibly accounting for the unexpected result

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Mar 5, 2020 05:49

lllllllllllllllllll: Now the scene's lighting is perfect!

weed cat posted:

you charge it by j-ing o, right? what's the end goal? if it's supercharged, can you just touch it to your junk and you nut instantly?

if it is pulsating and about to burst you are advised to find a place to safely discharge it. and that goes for your crystal too.

# ? Mar 5, 2020 06:58

weed cat: weed cat is back, and he loves to suck dick

lllllllllllllllllll posted:

if it is pulsating and about to burst you are advised to find a place to safely discharge it. and that goes for your crystal too.

guys quick i need something to nut on!

# ? Mar 5, 2020 07:48

owlhawk911: come chill with me, in byob

weed cat posted:

you charge it by j-ing o, right? what's the end goal? if it's supercharged, can you just touch it to your junk and you nut instantly? i am left with many questions

the purpose is to store the vital essence intended for your progeny that would have otherwise been wasted. you can use it to live forever, or to do sex magic like the red hot chili peppers

https://giant.gfycat.com/PlasticAngryHousefly.webm
_{this sig a mf'n vanisher joint. gobbos by khanstant}

# ? Mar 5, 2020 07:48

Scaly Haylie

i take off my robes and wizard hat, and initiate a marathon jacking ON session to uncharge the crystal

# ? Mar 5, 2020 11:53

problematic hug

ty all for posting in my thread about jo crystals

# ? Mar 5, 2020 13:06

alnilam

Lizard Wizard posted:

i take off my robes and wizard hat, and initiate a marathon jacking ON session to uncharge the crystal

# ? Mar 5, 2020 13:46

problematic hug

well now you are wearing your robe and wizard hat and you are pondering the mechanics of jacking/jilling on instead of off. you are lost in thought and are muttering to yourself. you have never felt more wizardly.

# ? Mar 5, 2020 14:38

problematic hug

what kind of wizard are you?

# ? Mar 5, 2020 14:39

alnilam

problematic hug posted:

what kind of wizard are you?

He's kind of a jack off all trades

# ? Mar 5, 2020 15:52

problematic hug

alnilam posted:

He's kind of a jack off all trades

# ? Mar 5, 2020 16:01

weed cat: weed cat is back, and he loves to suck dick

looking for a couple strap-on young lads to help with my j/o crystal

# ? Mar 6, 2020 00:15

google THIS

I have one of those j/o crystals that conserves the battery by not charging past 80% until 6am which is a nice feature but also kind of tiring

# ? Mar 6, 2020 00:55

Scaly Haylie

problematic hug posted:

what kind of wizard are you?

horny, apparently

# ? Mar 6, 2020 00:58

FutonForensic

i put the cryftal in my mouf. why did i put it in my mouf??

# ? Mar 6, 2020 03:31

FutonForensic

I SWALLOWED MY CRYSTAL HELP

# ? Mar 6, 2020 03:32

Manifisto

FutonForensic posted:

I SWALLOWED MY CRYSTAL HELP

trust me, this will only make your crystal more powerful

trust me

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Mar 6, 2020 03:42

Jaguars!

You consider the tableau of sheepish looking bros before you. Suddenly you realize: Caleb has been confident at work, home, social situations, etc! Also he's been sitting with his legs crossed the whole time.

# ? Mar 6, 2020 07:28

problematic hug

you�re not into solar flares? alright, you ignore your first instincts for some reason. you�re just not that kind of wizard. you also note that lizards have cloacas and that might make things easier? no? you�re not that kind of wizard either it seems. unless you are.

Caleb, then. what do you know about Caleb? and where did all these sheepish bros come from?

your life is spiraling a bit, ever since The Event. perhaps you should take a seat and think about things some more. or idk probably get rid of that thing! you�re an adult

# ? Mar 6, 2020 17:49

problematic hug

oh you�ve already rid yourself of it. you�ve swallowed it and now when you open your mouth light comes out like some sort of album cover or alien spider. if you speak it will reveal the terrible luminousness within you

# ? Mar 6, 2020 18:00

biosterous

i'm pretty sure that some egyptian god humiliated another by tricking him into swallowing a jo crystal that somebody else had charged

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^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Mar 6, 2020 22:31

Scaly Haylie

problematic hug posted:

you also note that lizards have cloacas and that might make things easier? no?

don't even get me started

# ? Mar 6, 2020 22:44

problematic hug

it is day 3 now and the premise was thin from the start, but now you�re unable to speak without blinding those nearest you. you were unable to confront Caleb. maybe you should see a doctor? at any rate it is canon now that the crystal is growing stronger

# ? Mar 7, 2020 22:38

problematic hug

Manifisto posted:

trust me, this will only make your crystal more powerful

trust me

see? canon

# ? Mar 7, 2020 22:39

Stoner Sloth

maybe smoke a weed to see if that mellows the crystal out?

sigs by the awesome Manifisto, Vanisher, City of Glompton, Pot Smoke Phoenix, Nut, Heather Papps,Prof Crocodile, knuthgrush, Ohtori Akio, Teapot, Saosyhant, Dumb Sex Parrot, w4ddl3d33, and nesamdoom!! - ty friends!

# ? Mar 8, 2020 00:35

Scaly Haylie

eat some sunglasses so we can talk to people.

# ? Mar 8, 2020 01:05

problematic hug

roll a d20 and add the relevant skill bonus for your attempt to swallow a pair of sunglasses. unless any of these other voices in your head object ?

# ? Mar 8, 2020 20:47

problematic hug

the relevant skill is swallowing. hi, im problematic hug.

# ? Mar 8, 2020 20:54

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 05:22

biosterous

i'm not sure if wizards get swallowing as a class skill, but we've got a lot of ranks in knowledge: chowing down which should give us a cross-skill bonues

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Mar 8, 2020 21:43

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > you have come home to find your j o crystal has been fully charged

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