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Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Sagebrush posted:

well i'm still staying inside so i took it upon myself to watch the entire extended editions of the lord of the rings movies. (NOT the hobbit)

back when they came out i was like "holy gently caress who's gonna watch a four and a half hour movie" but now, in the days of netflix miniserieses, it actually feels about right for a story of this depth

i once sat through a marathon of all three extended editions at a local movie theater. it was cool and worked out for me because i still had not yet seen return of the king, but at the same time holy poo poo was i ready to GTFO by the end

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Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:

tbh wish i wasnt single rn

hooooooooooo yeah, right there with you

Farmer Crack-Ass fucked around with this message at 05:56 on Mar 21, 2020

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


TOOT BOOT posted:

I have said the word yospos out loud to a woman

same (she is also a goon)

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


i was already planning on asking to wfh starting this week but the decision got made for me when someone in the office tested positive

fortunately my boss is a good sort and insisted everyone is now wfh for at least the next two weeks


echinopsis posted:

I had to shave


F M L


now you can tell I don't have a chin :cry:

i've decided i'm gonna spend the next two weeks growing out a beard. gonna take a selfie each morning.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Sagebrush posted:

you only get $1200 if you make less than $75,000 as a single person so most of yospos is excluded.

ha ha! i'm gonna get all that free gov't money!! :buddy:


DELETE CASCADE posted:

i'm cashing my $1200 check and when tax time rolls around i'm paying half of it to a fancy accountant to find me a way to get around paying back the other half

i'm gonna blow it all on liquor and strippers!!!

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Stereotype posted:

*picks up phone*

*LOUD BOAT HORN NOISE* Congratulations! *voice continually deepens in pitch and slows in rate* You have won a free five day fun packed vacation on the plague ship. You will infect all your loved ones and then die *phone hangs up*

lmbo

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Methanar posted:

I haven't been able to have a proper sleep without waking up every 2 hours in like 3 weeks lol

i'm not that bad yet but i have noticed my sleep getting more fitful and my dreams more weird and remembering more of them lately

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


NoneMoreNegative posted:

>you are into Nuclear Insanity style sauces these will not move you overly

reminds me of one of my all-time favorite achewoods:


If your dog is named Yard Dancer, I think we owe *each other* apologies.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


if you put bird food out it may attract other birds which will intimidate lil fire alarm and make it move somewhere else


alternately you could take up falconry

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


lol as if anything the president says matters

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


beep's very hurt that you wouldn't let him play with your funkopops when he came over

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


big scary monsters posted:

i have not got married but ive been to plenty of weddings and my criteria for rating them are, in order:


3. literally anything else including whether an actual legal marriage takes place


lol i once officiated a wedding where i had to drive back down the following week for a quick do-over because the dipshit couple got their marriage license the night before in a state that has a three day waiting period


also the one marriage i officiated that has since ended in divorce (another has turned poly, the other five are still doing well)

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


power botton posted:

anecdotal evidence doesn't prove anything

is it really possible to :airquote: "prove" anything?

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


DELETE CASCADE posted:

if you are not open then only rent is left, and the landlord will have a hard time finding another restaurant tenant right now, so they should be willing to work with you.

lol. lmbo. rofl!! look at this clown who believes in rational actors!!! :xd:

some landlords, yes, sure. there's already plenty of evidence that residential landlords are being massive pricks, so i have little doubt that there are plenty of commercial landlords doing the same. especially when at least some restaurants are doing pretty alright on takeout/delivery business (i know a local chinese place that's regularly quoting people 30-45+ minute wait times in the evenings) so i'm sure there's plenty of landlords saying "just offer takeout! what's so hard about this??"


quote:

so why are they getting hit so hard? do restaurants categorically just not keep cash in the bank? are they so levered up with debt that any disturbance brings the whole house of cards tumbling down?

i could be talking out my rear end here but it's probably a good idea to assume the average american business is levered the gently caress up


quote:

or could it be that restaurant owners, like all small business owners, are complaining to try to get a bailout because they are Pieces Of poo poo and i shouldn't listen to anything they say?

and yes, i'm sure there are restaurants who are in fact Doing Okay (comparatively) and are still lying about their state of affairs so as to try to score some cash

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


yeah under "normal" circumstances i've always figured that if i hit the point where i was down to six months of cash in savings, i'd ask to move back in with my mother at least until i got poo poo sorted out again.


now that we're in a loving depression i'm pretty sure if i lost my job i'd immediately move back in.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


lancemantis posted:

plz stop using the phrase "herd immunity" in that context

what's a better phrase in that context

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


fart simpson posted:

have you ever had sex echi

lmbo

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Broken Machine posted:

one of my last jobs there was this guy who would go out and party and just... not show up for weeks at a time. he was salaried but he didn't take leave or anything and they still paid him. he didn't even try to hide it; managers would call up and ask and he'd be honest that he'd been too busy with his social life to make it to work. i guess he was good at what he did because for whatever reason they let him keep doing this

i'm gonna guess he had an in with the owners who basically told management "as long as this guy is not creating a major risk of lawsuit, he can do whatever the gently caress he wants." at my last job i briefly worked with a guy who had that kind of blank check. like, the owners literally told the IT manager "stop trying to discipline him. he can do whatever he wants."

a couple months later, after that IT manager had been fired, the untouchable dude finally got himself fired after he threatened to bring an AK-47 to work and shoot a dude for the capital crime of putting a foot up on his car's fender to tie his shoe.

(yes, yes, yes, yes, before anyone thinks this is a great time to demonstrate how in love with their car they are - yes, i understand why someone might be miffed by this behavior. no, it's not worth assaulting the guy and then literally threatening to murder him.)



...except, wait, he technically wasn't fired for that. because he was offered the opportunity to apologize to the guy and retract his statement. it was the fact that he refused to apologize and retract his statement that finally led to him being fired. funny thing, he said in his last meeting he didn't regret it and would do the same thing all over again. also that he had no hard feelings towards the company. weird, weird guy. i'm happy he left when he did because i was tired of dealing with him and it also opened up an employment opportunity at exactly the right time for one of my closest friends, but i'm still a little bummed i didn't get to hear from him how his sure-fire plan to get out of paying all his traffic tickets went.

(he insisted that a buddy in florida had found the perfect loophole to get out of paying fines: the law requires that you pay with real money, real money is only hard currency i.e. gold bullion, gold bullion cannot be owned, ergo it is impossible to pay the fine, q.e.d.

he and the IT manager - who had this weird love/hate relationship - also loved discussing conspiracy theories like chemtrails.)


anyway, while at the time i figured the owners were just scared of losing him and his various accumulated rituals that kept their baling wire and duct tape operation together too early (because they had been planning on replacing the IT manager at minimum), in retrospect they probably were more afraid that if he got pissed at the company he'd run off and report all of the software he'd spent the last few years helping to pirate for them, just like his former co-worker had done a couple of years previously. or maybe he had some other dirt on them. idk.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~



mate

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


PIZZA.BAT posted:

got into the state liquor store site by changing vpn servers until they finally let me in. just stocked up on tequila, rye, bourbon, vodka, rum, etc



wait why did you need to gently caress around with vpn servers to get into your own state's liquor store site

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


and if your answer to that is that you are banned from the state liquor store site then you are required to tell us how that happened

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


President Beep posted:

whatever happened to toby anyway?

last time i saw toby keith was on a t-shirt my dad was wearing in a mugshot (for drunk driving)

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


President Beep posted:

a strong candidate for garage friend status...........

not sure you want to hang out with my dad. last i heard he was into Star Citizen

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


President Beep posted:

do people listen to you? no one listens to me. :smith:

my cats listen to me. they don't obey, but they listen.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


leaf blowers are an intensely annoying sound


dude across the alley will occasionally spend what seems like half the drat day wandering his roof and waving his leaf blower around. i've watched him do it and it's the most half-assed thing i've seen. he'll frequently blow poo poo onto places he's already blown clean. i'm half-convinced he thinks it hasn't been a productive day if he hasn't made a bunch of noise.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


i try to just live and let live, i don't know what his circumstances are and i don't want to deny someone the ability to do stuff in their own space, but there was one day when i had to walk over and ask him not to start and idle his goddamn dump truck at 5 in the loving morning right next to a four-plex of sleeping people.


i'm not exaggerating either, it's not just a big pickup or something, dude's got some kind of side hustle and occasionally will work on a literal no-poo poo dump truck in the alley.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


President Beep posted:

I CAN’T HEAR YOU. I’M USING THE LEAF BLOWER.

you'll have to type harder, I'm wearing a towel

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Falcorum posted:

I'm just now renewing my lease and was strongly considering just loving off to a cabin in the woods, or somewhere in the countryside since WFH anyway

lol your internet connection is gonna be slow

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


FMguru posted:

its the people who live the disney lifestyle that get me. the ones whose entire non-working life is spent visiting disney theme parks and resorts, staying in disney hotels, and taking disney cruises

i've got a relative who has a bizarre compulsion to go to disneyland - not just any disney park but one in anaheim - every year at exactly the same time of year. they've been doing it for like ten years now or some poo poo like that. supposedly it's something to do with "oh that's when/where we got ~engaged~!" but it is the absolute most baffling thing to me.


like, gently caress, i've been to disneyland twice - once when i was like eight, again when i was seventeen, both were family trips - and i have no particular urge to go back, but if i was going to be that big into disney parks i would at least save up and go to disneyworld at some point. right? wouldn't you have some desire to check out the big one in florida if you were that big on disney vacations?? or, hell, even if i was fixated on disneyland specifically, maybe go at different times of the year? see the stuff they do for like halloween or christmas?

but no. every year, same time of year, they drag their family down there. totally baffles me.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~




lol this one of tori's had a lot of panache. what was the text? it was a quote about someone being screwed in baseball

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Jonny 290 posted:

the other day my buddy told a story about taking the other 2 managers in his team out to reno in a little 172 back in the day, and they were so heavy that they cleared a mountaintop by like 75 feet lol

afterwards they told the story to their director and she poo poo herself and said NEVER DO THAT AGAIN

the place i work at specifically has an obscure policy that employees are not allowed to pilot aircraft for company trips because one time someone had a bad landing and nearly killed himself and a co-worker

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Jonny 290 posted:

yep. an average range day for me is about 100 rounds each of 9mm (25-30ish?) and 100 rounds of .223 (30-45 depending on if i shoot the nice stuff or not) plus an hour of lane rental which is like fifteen bucks

come out to the PNW and there's quarries out in the woods you can legally shoot at, no charge.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


had a few things that needed my personal attention at the office, so i went in today on sunday for a couple of hours when nobody else was there. nice to just bang it out, not have to worry about taking phone calls or dealing with emails or anything. maybe i'll start an hour late a couple days this week. we'll see

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Schadenboner posted:

This is even more boomer than a MAD Magazine subscription.

MAD Magazine may literally be the only thing of value that lovely generation shat, although (like all things it claims to have created) it didn't make it: just kept the engine turning over while other, better generations created the value the Boomers pillaged and ruined as soon as they had the ability (while taking credit).

gently caress boomers, but MAD was v.deece.

MAD was created in the 50s by earlier generations, unless we're doing the "everyone older than I am is a boomer" thing

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~



tbf you did just say the statute of limitations has run out

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~



haha, classic


haveblue posted:

don't watch any of the ones about industrial food production though

"the butter is now flavored with 30 pounds of salt"

what's wrong with that? salt's good.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


i was thinking i'd just let my hair keep growing out this year but i'm finding out that beyond a certain length (plus w/ the beard) i start to resemble my father and i am not liking it. bleh


probably going to have to just deal w/ it and run the clippers over my head.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


i'm 35 and not in a relationship so my assumption at this point is that i'm not having kids


if things get to the point next year where i feel comfortable going into a doctor's office for elective procedures, i'll probably go get the snip. assuming i don't die first in a subduction fault earthquake, or post election-cancellation riots, or just throwing a random brain clot or something

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

My dad kept a loaded rifle on the wall with eight kids in the house. Seems kinda crazy in hindsight.

my dad usually kept his guns locked up (albeit just in a locked closet and not in a real gun safe) but mom told me several years ago that about a year before the divorce she found him drunk on a case of beer with a loaded shotgun in his office. when she asked him why he had the shotgun out he slurred back "to protect me from the two of you"

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Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Jonny 290 posted:

when we lived in the trailer park the head maint dude and his wife got in a huge three month fight and he would spend seven hours a day leaf blowing three pieces of trash back and forth across the playground next to our lot

the gently caress is it with dudes leafblowing their roofs? i remember for a while the guy across the alley from me would spend hours loving running the leafblower across the roofs of his house and sheds and other probably-illicit accessory buildings he's put up back there. i've got a buddy who lives next to a trailer park and one of the nearby guys would also spend ages running the leafblower on their roof.


my alley neighbor doesn't do that poo poo any more but i think it's because he got himself a dump truck and will instead spend his time working on it. he's lately taken to hitting it with a pressure washer for a while sometimes. do older dudes literally just run leafblowers because they're bored and need to have made a bunch of noise to feel like they accomplished something in a day?

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