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Goons Are Great

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I heard even Mr. Dow Jones is sick

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Hijacking this thread for virus stuff to post about virus stuff in byob, the health forum!!

I'll hug you all in here but in a lovely way

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That's how the world will end. Not with a bang, but with toilet paper rolling through the desert like tumbleweed.

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Everything got closed here and I went to the last of my usual back up places a day before they also are forced to close. The entire city is like a ghost town already, some people even imply they don't want to see me because I've not been at home for the past two days and instead walked around.

Work is completely off indefinitely as the university has stopped any and all operation. Just today the state government issued state-wide emergency enforcements which overrides the previous city rules, no sports, no access to public buildings, reduced public transportation, full ban on all events, entertainment establishments of all kinds have to close, only supermarkets and pharmacies and public safety institutions are able to remain open.

I cannot even tell how much it feels like a Sunday today.

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Official government statement is an also very optimistic April 10th, 20th for schools and public institutions, but everyone kinda knows that this is nothing but a wild guess and given that basically everything that isn't vital to stability it puts masses of businesses into very serious trouble and in a completely unforeseeable future, as they have to pay for stuff and are not allowed to conduct any business.

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President keeps saying we have to make sacrifices, does this man have any goddamn idea how hard it is to get even more baby goats in times like this??

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The WHO said you can substitute toilet paper quite well. All you need is a printer and a short visit to coupons & deals.

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We make this a byob project and help everyone with this method. It also limits the time of exposure to fundamentally dangerous subforums

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While this is an admittedly go wild about the virus stuff thread, please keep in mind that we don't want to entirely go down the road of politics - yes, I know there is good reason to do otherwise - and that this thread is mainly meant as a place to vent some frustration and post jokes about this terrible stuff.

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Well, maybe you should have pressed that bell icon after all

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Doxxieh posted:

It was a little askew

Eschewing fresh glasses of askew beverages tonight

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For the record, I learned both of these words the second I read your post and never even heard them before

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I originally assumed it was meant as escrow which caused quite the confusion

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Showing the police officer my posting history to prove that I mainly stay informed using byob and thus didn't have any clue it was suddenly illegal to raise my voice and publicly sing songs about sexual snails during times of crisis, because it may count as a concert or act of terrorism.

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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

die in a tent in the hospital parking lot

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Walmart, a tent made out of toilet paper, we gotta dream big here

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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

The lack of traffic has been nice, I guess

People have been doing street races all over the city until the police spent the entire afternoon hunting them down

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prepuce repurposed posted:

how do I join your forest crew. I'm genuinely starting to think along those lines of yours

I'm curious, too, how does this work?
I mean seriously I'm a baby boy born and raised in a metropolis, I know trees exist in a theoretical concept but I'm really curious how living in the woods nowadays plays out

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owlhawk911 posted:

i wish i knew guys, but i'm just a baby boy born and raised in the woods. i'm clueless about fundamental parts of your world too, like having a boss that sets your schedule and rent/bills to pay. to live in the woods you got to show up in some woods and then stay alive there. these woods are an island paradise with survivable temperatures year round, lots of things you can eat, and a frickin massive salmon run every year. the "how" here mostly focuses around that salmon run. whatever level of tech you come at it with, living here is going to be centered around catching and storing fishies. fish traps are illegal now, but traditionally a big ol fish trap/smoker that the whole crew works on was the way to go. you pretty much jam a bunch of sticks in a river facing upstream, the fishies can swim over them but can't get back out. you chase em back down towards the sticks then you throw em up on shore and someone whops off their head, scoops out their guts, and spreads em out to dry a little before they go in the smoker. once they're smoked they last for ages

nowdays lots of people just catch them. you can fish from a boat and catch a lot more/during a longer part of the year, you can fish with a pole from shore, you can use a spear in the river. if you have a big enough boat you can seine or gillnet. you can gillnet from shore and use it like a fish trap if you dgaf. you can vacuum seal, can, or freeze the fishies if you don't like them smoked. i guess the short answer to "how do you live in the woods" is "harvest and preserve natures bounty". lots of drying mushrooms, turning berries into jam, drying wood, canning beach stuff, gardening, etc. lot of scavenging and repair too, since buying/shipping something is such a pain and the dump being a place you see get worse every year keeps you from throwing poo poo away so easy. like there's no recycling but the aluminum cans/plastic bottles are in separate piles in case someone wants to use the bottles for something or melt the cans down (furnace is out of commission that's another summer project i was gonna do but i'm switching gears to the ventilator thing and a still) and every broken tool/machine/vehicle just sits around in case someone needs parts/wants to try fixing it

I'm really fascinated by that. I mean it does make sense when you say that you just always did stuff this way, but it seems so uncommon given we live in times when we boring rear end boys in dense urban areas that are used to ride trains with 2000 strangers next to us twice a day go to the next fast food chain to nourish ourselves.
I mean i have seen videos of people doing amazing stuff like what you do, but hearing it from you is really inspiring me

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Friendly reminder that during these times, you can do stuff to help out and make it get better faster. If biologically and socially possible, your time allows it and you have the will to help, you may:
1) Donate blood (your national red cross is the go-to place if you are uncertain how to do that, they are beautiful)
2) Do a minor logistics or carry stuff around job at your local stores that are in high demand
3) Do phone or administration jobs for your government, appropriate nonprofit organization or other private organizations currently involved in handling stuff
4) Do volunteer job for whatever hours at local food banks, nursing homes or hospitals (outside of patient care, if you're not a trained medical person)
5) Search for alternative ways for your area to both spend your time in a very useful manner and help those in need right now

I wanted to get rid of my sudden free time while the universities are all closed and everything I do is interrupted, so I answered the call of the military that's re-enlisting reservists for a limited time on a volunteer basis in case they will get deployed in some way (also an option if that applies to you, depending on your country, state and situation) and figured my administration is hiring people to do back office work to sort stuff and avoid chaos, so I'll do that until (if ever) I get the call from an officer.

Crazy times mean you can help people in crazy ways! If you're bored and if you can, do it!

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prepuce repurposed posted:

You know it's getting real when the jokes stop

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To wash its hands and stay safe

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prepuce repurposed posted:

there might be yobbers in need of food soon. does anybody know how to organize an online food bank?

my wife. very nice I like. the weed rear end

That is a very nice and lovely idea. If any yobber happens to be in need of anything we may be able to fix by sending boxes across the world, speak up and we can help out!

If anyone wants to do so anonymously, feel free to hit me up via pm and I'll use my new powers to spread the word without including you username, so we can help each other without exposing anyone.
I ultimately hope it won't be needed, but if so, byob can help!!

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My country is going on a federal lockdown now, the chancellor gave another speech, she imposed new rules of what's legal now and she plans to pump in money of the size of the third of the total federal budget into the economy to make this possible. I listened to her words as well as the president's and as weird as it may sound, it feels genuinely good to have a functioning state right now that does the needful and has politicians on top who seriously listen to scientists while acting on this stuff, disregarding all the usual political disagreements.
It really feels like it is possible to get through this, if we speak reason, listen and act accordingly.

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weed cat posted:

we cannot, because are freedoms

Dead Hippie Ghost posted:

wow what a concept how havent we thought of this yet

my countries leadership is not rising to the task, neither is my local government. Nobody in the population is taking this seriously either. We just passed 30 cases in my area and it's gonna blow through here like wildfire.

I have genuine hope that even the US with, uhm, you know, the guys on top, can somehow make this through. People who have no idea what to do with stuff usually will delegate dealing with it to this those who have an idea and enable positive change. Hell, even the UK is doing things now.
Stay strong, new world friends.

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

It's hard to see it but things WILL get better, unfortunately they have to get pretty bad first.

Just remember in order for us to have a future, we have to do this in the here and now, so do it for the future you, who will thank you.


!!!

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Alright guys, some forums stuff for you!

Due to me enlisting for the German military again over this, I started doing some organized sports again! Normally I just do martial arts once or twice a week for years now, but I decided maybe it's time to also do some regular exercise and not just stay in good shape, but get into better shape!
For that, I can highly recommend you a guide by YLLS' new and old Moderator, Shine, who posted it for all the people who might want to do sports but want or have to stay inside, check it out: https://forums.somethingawful.com/s...er=1&perpage=40

Additionally to my call that you could do helpful stuff if lacking something else to do on last page, another reminder to donate blood whenever you can, the blood banks are begging for support right now.
Our debating and discussing friends in D&D have started a blood donation drive and I would love to see some of you posting with us there, if you are able and allowed to donate blood (there is also free stuff to win for posting proof of donation):
https://forums.somethingawful.com/s...er=1&perpage=40

If you find other SA related projects or guides that may help you spend time or make the time now worthwhile, please post!
We wouldn't be goons if we wouldn't use this as an opportunity.

edit: how do links even work

Goons Are Great fucked around with this message at 11:23 on Mar 23, 2020

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Slumpy posted:

i made this thread to do a twisted metal joke but i sincerely hope yall pull through okay

Sorry that I hijacked it to become the official byob virus thread, I know it was supposed to be a joke thread and I hoped we would keep focus on virus based jokes but of course things get serious rather quickly these days
I hope you aren't mad at me for transforming it this way

Anyone feel free to make jokes ITT!!

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Isolation is extremely variable in how easy it is to handle it. People who live alone and are used to socialize a lot are in a very different situation than those who got friends or families at home, while others can hardly handle hanging around their roommates all day long and would prefer to be out on their own.
I'm struggling extremely hard with staying at home, because I usually never do it. I live alone and usually am running around all day every day, meeting tons and tons of people, in every day life (mainly due to public transportation and work though) I easily get into the six feet range with more than a hundred people sooner or later. Not having these circumstances is extremely difficult, but also necessary. I'm still outside most of the time though, but entirely by myself and if I meet someone it's from a safe distance. Luckily most of my friends are very able to do what I fail to do, so they don't get in contact with anyone but me, which admittedly delegates a part of my responsibility onto them, but at least de facto still limits the spread, in case I do carry it and I do infect others despite the distance.
That's also a big part why I volunteered for stuff, so I get out of the drat house while keeping the safe distance and simply having a reason to not be at home. I just suck at doing that on my own.

cda is entirely right, however, and it's good to warn and raise a finger about those who do not do that, but keep in mind that some struggle a lot more with this than others and I'm afraid this will get worse every day.

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Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

My nuclear/biological/chemical attack training is coming in handy from my 10 years in the Air Force...

I feel like I'm too young now. I mean, I probably am in general tbh.
We did do that in theory and had I think two? notable exercises about that back then but when I met some of my old comrades a few days ago we joked about how we learned, like, all of the stuff that could happen if a foreign force attacked Germany, except when they do it with anything else but bullets.
That said, my time there was like 6 years ago, because I'm a baby boy, and the leadership is probably reconsidering their training schedule now.

The drama around H1N1 really desensitized some people about how an actual pandemic threat looks like.

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Btw working out at home while posting in byob works and is a blessing to your soul

Just gotta find a good move to post ratio

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prepuce repurposed posted:

i just got back from my annual checkup and my doctor seemed genuinely stoked to be living though a real pandemic instead of all these sissy fake ones like swine and bird and h1n1

he said we (americans) are all going to get the virus, and 80% will survive it. after all, that's the only way to build up immunity to it so we're ready for the 2021 wave of corvid

i was shocked by these statements tbh

Yeah those numbers are entirely off by even the most pessimistic estimates experts from the WHO and national health departments predict. There are way more factors in play, a certain part of the population is always entirely immune to a certain pathogen, the virus isn't a god that can magically teleport into everyone's throat either and especially in the numbers game social distancing works fine. Merkel was criticized for using the rather pessimistic number of up to 70% of the population getting infected over the coming year and years and while it's not entirely off (40-70% estimate) that still doesn't nearly add up to "everyone is going to get it".
Not to say that saying 20% will just die out is also completely off. It was said that 81% of those infected develop no or very mild symptoms (but not being entirely immune, nor being not infectious), 14% developing serious symptoms that need medical care of some kind and up to 6% going into critical conditions, mainly due to pre-existing conditions, generally bad health and age.

It is entirely true that the realistic and also pessimistic numbers would overwhelm most national healthcare systems when it comes in all at once (except China maybe, those guys just built 10 hospitals around Wuhan in less than 2 weeks lol) and it might lead up to a lot of people getting into serious trouble, including those dying, but 20% of the entire US population dying is ridiculous and would top any pandemic we had so far. The biology of this virus, given the few things we do know by now, does not justify going this far at all.

Also also, gently caress that guy, he's a dick.

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xcheopis posted:

Polio is highly contagious. At least 98% of those infected were asymptomatic or had mild to moderate flu-like symptoms. About 1% developed some form of weakness or paralysis. Up to about 10% of that 1% wound up in iron lungs or died.

Don't underestimate an infectious disease.

Entirely true, never underestimate this, being highly contagious always leads to terrible numbers, almost irregardless of the mortality rate, just due to the numbers involved. Even a rate of 0,1% of deaths is dramatic when 50 million people are infected.That's why it's so important to take this seriously despite the seemingly low severity for the by far biggest part of the population.

However note that Polio was endemic before and became an actual epidemic during a time where modern medicine was still something else than it is today and the WHO is actively working on eradicating it entirely in the future, despite small clusters happening around the world sometimes. Finding effective therapy or even a vaccine (like we have for Polio) is absolutely crucial in the fight against this virus and until that has some breakthrough, we have to be careful and reasonable with what we do to give science the time it needs to make this happen.

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did you know that if you read ekans from left to right it makes up the name of a pokemon??

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It's interesting to hear about you US friends getting into the action now from the European perspective, where we've already been on lockdown for two weeks now. You basically have the same news and problems we had and we probably had the same Asia had two or three weeks prior to us.

There is a slow shift happening here by now, too. At first when just a few events got canceled, no one really bothered, then it more and more stuff closed until school holidays got extended. Then universities went dark on some stuff, then bars and everything got closed, then universities and research facilities went dark. That's when everyone realized it was serious and fear was everywhere. Stuff got even worse, people tried to overcome fear by hanging out together, resulting in discussions about lockdown, three states went into curfew mode, people realized they were being dumb and no one likes curfew, so almost everyone behaved and the cities turned into ghost towns. Federal laws hit, everyone was OK with it.

That was just four days ago and already people are getting fed up with it. Trains are getting full again as employers order back their people, but the fear is still there. It seems like those who took it seriously from the beginning are getting okay-ish with it now, while those who didn't care at first are now scared.

Overall, support for staying at home all the time is slowly dwindling here, it won't take long until people are willing to risk it again. At some point even rising numbers in infections and deaths are not enough to maintain motivation to pull through with what's necessary. Given that we cannot enforce this stuff like China did with sheer brutality, I really wonder how this is going to end over the upcoming three to four weeks.

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It's a similar strategy like trying to infect as many people as possible to make them all immune at once and only lock in those that we actually at risk. Apart from the obvious danger of inevitable breach to those at risk anyways, there are tons of problems with that idea that would also go for, I dunno, hand out wristbands for those that proved to be immune after having antibodies, like people faking, stealing proofs from others, or just abuse the sheer possibility to go out regardless of being allowed to or not.

I guess something along those lines will come true though as it's the only way to keep the economy running if this goes on for too long, but the results might be terrible either way.

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Our government has issued a statement regarding masks that say yes, they do help (if used correctly and if it's the right kind of mask, plus general hygiene and distance is kept up) but it is not a major player in preventing infection, but general distance is. Plus we are explicitly advised not to buy professional medical masks as supply is limited and if there is a run on them to arm every private citizen with one, medical professionals who really need them will run dry, as supply is a major bottleneck here.

Might be different in the US and some people here are of a very different opinion, but in general I'd recommend to follow your government's words on this, assuming they have experts on it and know their poo poo (yes, I see the irony for the US, but you get what I mean).

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Well, look at that. Things are kinda taking a few baby steps towards clearing up here in Germany. The minister of health is talking about evaluating the current situation in two weeks from now and maybe lift some of the restrictions, as new infection rates have begin to stagnate and those freshly recorded (the numbers went up considerably over the past few days) were mainly due to infections from more than a week ago and due to the fact that Germany is now testing more than any other country by now, except China, so the assumed number of undetected infections is rushing down.

Also, the German version of the CDC, called RKI, is preparing a huge rear end study to evaluate the number of immune citizens en mass after being infected and cured by the virus without noticing it, with the theoretical idea that those proven immune (after testing a majority of the population, we are swimming in test kits it seems) allowed to go back to work.
It's exactly what we talked about itt before and obviously there are notable problems with it, but the sheer fact to not have bad news for once gives hope that there is a time after all of this and I'm enjoying this.

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There is a pair of lovely and I might add fluffie ducks visiting the patch of grass next to my house a lot lately and they observe me doing stuff a lot and that's really lovely and a bit scary but mainly cool.

The male one is already dressed up in nuptial plumage for his beloved wife. These two have been living here for at least two years but this time they decided to stay nearby and check out what I do over the day, perhaps because their usual spot for this kind of cinematic observation of humans is rather deserted currently.

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biosterous posted:

i like how this behaviour implies that birds like people watching as much as people like bird watching

it is a good and happy thought

I honestly think they do. Actually many animals do, simply out of curiosity, they are just as aware of their surroundings as we are and due to the lack of learning theoretical understanding they probably wonder even more why we do things compared to us wondering about them!

I love birds tbh

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Yes.
We do that every season though, this time it's just a bit more Käse than Wurst as we are stocking up on the Szenario front

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The most amusing thing about Frankfurt actually is the parking situation

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