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LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in

GWBBQ posted:

During these trying times, the New York Department of Health and Mental Hygiene would like you to jerk off instead of eating rear end

https://twitter.com/nycHealthy/status/1242462479134982145


Very, very sad I can't use emojis in thread titles.

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Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
https://twitter.com/clientsfh/status/1242447818062802944



I suspect the culprit is Grainger, but it’s just a suspicion.

Piss Meridian
Mar 25, 2020

by Pragmatica
Quinovic are an unpleasant rental management company in NZ. We have recently been put in a country-wide lockdown for at least a month




edit:


Quinovic advertising

Piss Meridian has a new favorite as of 23:55 on Mar 25, 2020

Vicodiva
Sep 27, 2012

biracial bear for uncut posted:

The fact that those fuckers aren't languishing in a prison for stealing artifacts from Iraq back in 2009 for their bullshit bible museum is unforgiveable.

Hobby Lobby's Robby Hobby, Hammurabi.

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.
My weed delivery guys are the only ones who made me feel good about being contacted about this:

Beartaco
Apr 10, 2007

by sebmojo

jojoinnit posted:

My weed delivery guys are the only ones who made me feel good about being contacted about this:



This is beautiful.

Some Pinko Commie
Jun 9, 2009

CNC! Easy as 1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣!
Can this count? Because this is beyond any metaphor I can think of right now for how hosed up things are.

https://theintercept.com/2020/03/24/kaiser-permanente-nurses-coronavirus/

CollegeCop
Jul 11, 2005

You're right. I'm not a real cop. Those are imaginary handcuffs. And in a minute, we'll be going to the make-believe jail.

biracial bear for uncut posted:

Can this count? Because this is beyond any metaphor I can think of right now for how hosed up things are.

https://theintercept.com/2020/03/24/kaiser-permanente-nurses-coronavirus/



What the gently caress?

What. The. gently caress?

What. The. Everloving. gently caress?

What. The. Everloving. Goddam. gently caress?

Wait. This is an Onion article, right?

Cause if not, What. The. gently caress?

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

That's attempted mass murder right there

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

biracial bear for uncut posted:

Can this count? Because this is beyond any metaphor I can think of right now for how hosed up things are.

https://theintercept.com/2020/03/24/kaiser-permanente-nurses-coronavirus/



:psyduck: What the actual gently caress.

Some Pinko Commie
Jun 9, 2009

CNC! Easy as 1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣!
I'm assuming it's real, because more than one outlet is reporting it.

https://www.healthleadersmedia.com/nursing/kaiser-threatened-fire-nurses-wearing-their-own-masks

CommissarMega
Nov 18, 2008

THUNDERDOME LOSER
But... why? I mean, I could understand (NOT FORGIVE) it if Kaiser was paying for said masks- after all, how else would they afford their yachts if they spent money on their serfs- but they're forbidding the nurses from wearing their own masks? What the gently caress?!

PharmerBoy
Jul 21, 2008
I could maybe, kind of, see it as this is an inefficient use of masks (they're better for preventing the infected from spreading to others as opposed to keep the healthy healthy) when they're in short supply, but it's not a great look.

Colt Cannon
Aug 11, 2000

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fy2BgwaUB_Q

The essential service that they provide is retention services for companies. Wanna cancel your cable during all this? You might be speaking to a Focus Services employee. Their website really doesn't make it super clear, but it does have this amazing quote

corporate douchebags posted:

At Focus, we put people first—always. It’s in our DNA. It’s the rich gooey goodness at our core. And not just because our business heavily depends on people. We genuinely want to see our employees thrive—enjoying life, doing good in the world, and living up to their potential. So, we help them do that.

GWBBQ
Jan 2, 2005


FWIW, The Intercept does their own investigative journalism and are trustworthy.

Somfin
Oct 25, 2010

In my🦚 experience🛠️ the big things🌑 don't teach you anything🤷‍♀️.

Nap Ghost

Colt Cannon posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fy2BgwaUB_Q

The essential service that they provide is retention services for companies. Wanna cancel your cable during all this? You might be speaking to a Focus Services employee. Their website really doesn't make it super clear, but it does have this amazing quote

The gentle, restrained that-wasn't-a-loving-cough when he starts reading is just :discourse:

Some Pinko Commie
Jun 9, 2009

CNC! Easy as 1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣!
President Fuckwit doesn't believe state governors know how much equipment they need.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-i-dont-think-governors-need-the-medical-equipment-theyre-begging-for

Shut up Meg
Jan 8, 2019

You're safe here.
https://twitter.com/BorisJohnson/status/1243496858095411200

RagnarokAngel
Oct 5, 2006

Black Magic Extraordinaire
I heard an ad on the radio advertising jobs at a local Amazon warehouse.

With special attention drawn to:

-An Extra $2 an hour through to the end of April

-Health and security is very important to us.

Now...why would they bring so much attention to that? :thunk:

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

RagnarokAngel posted:

I heard an ad on the radio advertising jobs at a local Amazon warehouse.

With special attention drawn to:

-An Extra $2 an hour through to the end of April

-Health and security is very important to us.

Now...why would they bring so much attention to that? :thunk:

Did they happen to mention they provide free healthcare to all workers because from what I understand 2 bucks an hour doesn't really cover much in the way of roni bills.

TacticalHoodie
May 7, 2007

RagnarokAngel posted:

I heard an ad on the radio advertising jobs at a local Amazon warehouse.

With special attention drawn to:

-An Extra $2 an hour through to the end of April

-Health and security is very important to us.

Now...why would they bring so much attention to that? :thunk:

Because they are doing a piss poor job making sure that their warehouses are cleaned properly to protect the spread of Covid-19 to others. They should be wiping all their commonly used services every 3 hours and they should be actively screening employees daily. Amazon does not do any of that.

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Make the extra $2 permanent for everyone and maybe I'll start listening.

RagnarokAngel
Oct 5, 2006

Black Magic Extraordinaire

Whiskey A Go Go! posted:

Because they are doing a piss poor job making sure that their warehouses are cleaned properly to protect the spread of Covid-19 to others. They should be wiping all their commonly used services every 3 hours and they should be actively screening employees daily. Amazon does not do any of that.

Im aware thank you

Kia Soul Enthusias
May 9, 2004

zoom-zoom
Toilet Rascal

CJacobs posted:

Discount Tire, a place I got my tires changed at 7 years ago, sent me one today



We really value customer safety and are following all of the recommended protocols. Except for closing our stores, we won't do that, that's just ridiculous ha ha ha ha *continues to be a disease vector*

Did you actually read it?

Kirk Vikernes
Apr 26, 2004

Count Goatnackh

Charles posted:

Did you actually read it?

I don't think they did.

china bot
Sep 7, 2014

you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX
Plaster Town Cop


e: follow up email

Cowslips Warren
Oct 29, 2005

What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?

Grimey Drawer
I deliver to Discount Tires; they removed all the chairs inside, the entire place reeks of Lysol bleach and lemon, and customers have to drive (with guidance of course) up and into, and then out of the bays after. People get really snippy about that.

Chevy Slyme
May 2, 2004

We're Gonna Run.

We're Gonna Crawl.

Kick Down Every Wall.

GWBBQ
Jan 2, 2005


Cowslips Warren posted:

I deliver to Discount Tires; they removed all the chairs inside, the entire place reeks of Lysol bleach and lemon, and customers have to drive (with guidance of course) up and into, and then out of the bays after. People get really snippy about that.
The oil change place I worked at in college was bought by Valvoline and now has customers drive in and wait in their cars during service. Considering I saw employees drive cars into the pit or wreck tires by parking on the metal lips around the edges, I find this development terrifying.

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

CJacobs posted:

Discount Tire, a place I got my tires changed at 7 years ago, sent me one today



We really value customer safety and are following all of the recommended protocols. Except for closing our stores, we won't do that, that's just ridiculous ha ha ha ha *continues to be a disease vector*

Doctors, nurses, EMS, grocery store clerks, etc etc etc still need to be able to drive to work.

Somfin
Oct 25, 2010

In my🦚 experience🛠️ the big things🌑 don't teach you anything🤷‍♀️.

Nap Ghost

Picnic Princess posted:

Doctors, nurses, EMS, grocery store clerks, etc etc etc still need to be able to drive to work.

Ecofash voice: ah but you see this global crisis is a great opportunity to convert the world off of cars

InediblePenguin
Sep 27, 2004

I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.
it's legitimately cool of Discount Tire to only be doing actually-necessary repairs. I wish my own employer were taking the worldwide pandemic to be an actual emergency rather than an annoyance that's making it hard for us to coax customers into bringing their cars in for loving cosmetic work.

InediblePenguin has a new favorite as of 12:10 on Mar 29, 2020

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right

InediblePenguin posted:

it's legitimately cool of Discount Tire to only be doing actually-necessary repairs. I wish my own employer were taking the worldwide pandemic to be an actual emergency rather than an annoyance that's making it hard for us to coax customers into bringing their cars in for loving cosmetic work.

Is there any chance at all you could use holiday pay or sick pay or anything to take the next week off work? Because things look pretty bad this week to people who are keeping informed, but if that graph keeps climbing exponentially the way it has these last 4 weeks then the situation we'll be in next weekend is going to be pretty much impossible for anyone to ignore.

InediblePenguin
Sep 27, 2004

I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Is there any chance at all you could use holiday pay or sick pay or anything to take the next week off work? Because things look pretty bad this week to people who are keeping informed, but if that graph keeps climbing exponentially the way it has these last 4 weeks then the situation we'll be in next weekend is going to be pretty much impossible for anyone to ignore.
I have to go in tomorrow but I do still have some time off I am entitled to and I'm going to try to get them to let me use it for Tuesday-Friday. One of our guys came in sick on Friday and everybody was laughing about how the Ridiculous Overreaching Government would want this fine upstanding worker to stay home, how stupid! And then they stood right next to each other and me, and spat on the floor, and etc and I have asthma & am our delivery driver haha. (The official word is that if we feel we need to stay home we're "allowed" to use our time off, but the one person who opted to do this has been repeatedly roundly mocked and referred to as having laid herself off and/or quit.)

edit: Sorry for kind of hijacking the thread! It wasn't until I read that letter from the tire place that it occurred to me that "we're an essential business" COULD be interpretted by the business owner as "therefore we will only do the essential things" instead of "this is my license to continue doing business as usual" lol

InediblePenguin has a new favorite as of 13:10 on Mar 29, 2020

Kirk Vikernes
Apr 26, 2004

Count Goatnackh

InediblePenguin posted:


edit: Sorry for kind of hijacking the thread! It wasn't until I read that letter from the tire place that it occurred to me that "we're an essential business" COULD be interpretted by the business owner as "therefore we will only do the essential things" instead of "this is my license to continue doing business as usual" lol

Yeah, that is actually pretty awesome Discount Tire is staying open. Posting their letter like it's a bad thing gives off the same smug "but you could just do it at home for a fraction of the cost"-attitude some goons have against others who enjoy eating at a nice restaurant.

"You could just buy a tire plug kit and keep it in your glove box if your job at the hospital is so important. I'm just staying home, playing video games and surviving off chickencheese and coffee from my French press. :guillotine: Discount Tire. Fight the power.". *strokes neckbeard and runs fingers through skullet

Kirk Vikernes has a new favorite as of 15:43 on Mar 29, 2020

CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011

YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!
I don’t exactly get your point but I think that’s because it’s just that dumb

Kirk Vikernes
Apr 26, 2004

Count Goatnackh

CharlestheHammer posted:

I don’t exactly get your point but I think that’s because it’s just that dumb

Or you're a CJacobs alt.

CJacobs
Apr 17, 2011

Reach for the moon!
You're right, I did misread it. I am sorry for this transgression discount tire

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right

CJacobs posted:

You're right, I did misread it. I am sorry for this transgression discount tire

You have made a powerful enemy this day. Discount Tire does NOT forget, nor do they forgive!

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CJacobs
Apr 17, 2011

Reach for the moon!
For real though it is cool of them to stay open for essential jobs and I'm glad they looked for a compromise.

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