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Elaine downloads Tinder but gets the swipe directions wrong and goes on a series of terrible dates Until the end when she meets an awesome guy, but loses him due to a mishearing caused by social distancing.
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Mar 19, 2020 18:01
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 00:54 |
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"It's called Animal Crossing, Jerry, it's amazing... you can build a new society! A new utopia! Better than the current world, better than anything we could dream of! I call it.... KRAMERISTAN!" "And what exactly is your role in this new society, oh high and mighty one?" "Oh, I'm out there Jerry, I'm talking to everybody, I'm building the social connections." "And you owe money to a raccoon?" "Well yeah..." A Fancy Hat fucked around with this message at 18:13 on Mar 19, 2020 |
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Mar 19, 2020 18:10
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elaine is considering don jrs advances on her kramer enjoys uncrowded new york to its fullest only to be informed later that the virus survives on surfaces george is trying to test positive for coronovirus for 2 weeks paid leave jerry suspiciously dates a girl who continually exhibits symptoms of illness that she always has perfectly valid reasons for
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Mar 19, 2020 18:21
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Kramer brews up a large batch of hand sanitizer in Jerry's kitchen, and gives a pint each to Jerry, George and Elaine. The next day they have a contest to see who can refrain from masturbating the longest. By the end of day one they all have rash-covered hands and genitals, because Kramer screwed up the hand sanitizer recipe. Next we see them all in beds in a hospital ward with their hands bandaged. George's mother visits, and shocked, screeches, "My SON and ALL HIS FRIENDS treat their bodies like SELF ABUSEMENT PARKS!" Next day she too is a patient in the ward, it turns out Kramer had given her some of the home brew hand sanitizer but was too much of a hipster doofus to remember to warn her.
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Mar 19, 2020 18:23
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George tries to apologize to the Bubble Boy, hoping to get his own bubble to survive the current pandemic.
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Mar 19, 2020 18:26
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big nipples big life posted:George goes to the hospital for a cheap meal. what about a fancy meal. Because he argues that the more expensive it is the fancier it is
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Mar 19, 2020 18:26
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kramer wins a dilapidated old-fashioned car in a card game and accidentally reenacts a scene from fury road when the steering wheel comes off in his hands
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Mar 19, 2020 18:28
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Elaine goes on an amazing date with a guy, only to find out he has to self-quarantine for 2 weeks. Rather than being worried about his health or getting infected herself, she's worried he's going to "let himself go" in those 2 weeks.
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Mar 19, 2020 18:40
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A Fancy Hat posted:George tries to apologize to the Bubble Boy, hoping to get his own bubble to survive the current pandemic. lmao
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Mar 19, 2020 18:40
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They quarantined me, Jerry! What? Why? Newman! He was selling toilet paper out of his mail truck and now the city is telling everyone that had contact with him to stay home! Kramer, quarantine means don't leave your apartment! Get the hell out of here! Jerry, this social distancing thing is killing me. I can't go to the fruit stand, I can't go to the coffee shop - where am I supposed to get my intellectual stimulation?
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Mar 19, 2020 18:44
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when jerry runs into a cereal shortage a friend of kramers introduces them to the new york cereal black market elaine tries to befriend a sick elderly person with a better apartment than hers but the demands are high george pioneers a social cue of tapping your face mask to get out of talking to people that he later finds used against him
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Mar 19, 2020 18:45
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Kramer convinces George to go all-in on Vandelay Industries stock thinking that the pandemic will force everyone to stay in and have sex, therefore causing a boost in the need for latex products. The plan backfires when they realize Millennials don’t have sex anymore.
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Mar 19, 2020 19:09
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Bloopsy posted:George watching Pornhub on his iPad and his mom keeps "popping" in via FaceTime. "she's popping in Jerry! Lol, this is gold
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Mar 19, 2020 20:37
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Kramer kramers kramerly when Jerry shows him a pic of the pig’s huge balls.
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Mar 20, 2020 01:12
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Kramer reacts poorly when he learns that his wild antics involving tasting the icing on a doughnut at the store were recorded and posted to THE INTERNET
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Mar 20, 2020 02:37
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"What is the deal with corona virus?"
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Mar 20, 2020 02:54
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Professor Shark posted:Elaine downloads Tinder but gets the swipe directions wrong and goes on a series of terrible dates Kramer downloads Grindr and uses it to socialise with a group of handsome well groomed men. Jerry tells him it's a gay dating app "Not that there's anything wrong with that"
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Mar 20, 2020 02:59
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Professor Shark posted:I loving knew this was a repeat! Goddammit! I was dissapointed that the goldmined one didn't get more posts, so i'm glad there's a part 2.
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Mar 20, 2020 04:29
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potee posted:They quarantined me, Jerry! Elaine and George get quarantined together in Kramer's apartment. Newman runs out of beans and tries to find excuses to get into Jerry's place to find his supplies
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Mar 20, 2020 04:57
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George tries to impress a love interest by telling her he works as a viral biologist. He gets the girl but his plan backfires when it’s revealed that his girlfriend works for the Trump administration and George gets assigned as head of the CDC.
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Mar 20, 2020 15:46
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:George tries to impress a love interest by telling her he works as a viral biologist. He gets the girl but his plan backfires when it’s revealed that his girlfriend works for the Trump administration and George gets assigned as head of the CDC. The episode end credits have George delivering an update that says they're going to ask people to stop sneezing so much and eat lots of chicken soup, which is incredibly effective compared to what the administration was doing
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Mar 20, 2020 16:07
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Newman and Kramer invest in a cryptocurrency, Elaine pretends to be an investor to impress her new accountant boyfriend and it loses value after Jerry mocks it on TV. George starts his own cryptocurrency Costanzacoin, becomes a millionare for an hour then crashes the market through greed.
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Mar 20, 2020 17:12
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Jerry is hit by a car and killed offscreen after the actor Jerry Seinfeld does a routine about Ilhan Omar marrying her brother. The series has a new multi-racial family move into Jerry's apartment, and the newly-titled "Seinfeld Was a Child-loving rear end in a top hat" becomes the world's most popular sitcom.
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Mar 20, 2020 17:32
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OldMemes posted:Newman and Kramer invest in a cryptocurrency, Elaine pretends to be an investor to impress her new accountant boyfriend and it loses value after Jerry mocks it on TV. George starts his own cryptocurrency Costanzacoin, becomes a millionare for an hour then crashes the market through greed. Boscoin
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Mar 20, 2020 17:32
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George gets Jerry interested in QAnon conspiracy theories. Jerry initially dismisses it all, but starts to believe as things get weirder and weirder. They are eventually invited to meet Q himself, revealed to be.... Newman. Meanwhile, Elaine and Kramer become obsessed with the amount of fries a takeout place gives customers, vying to get "the most fries possible" from the place through any means necessary.
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Mar 20, 2020 18:00
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Jerry struggles with starting a podcast in an attempt to broaden his audience and is further annoyed when he discovers that Newman already has a successful niche podcast but won't give him any advice on what recording setup is the best. Meanwhile George is held hostage by his Uber driver after only giving him a four star review because the bottled water he was offered was room temperature instead of chilled. He agrees to amend the review after being threatened with being given a one star rider rating. Kramer goes on a seven minute anti-Palestinian rant.
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Mar 20, 2020 18:23
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INT JERRY'S APARTMENT, DAY JERRY What's the deal with Corono Virus? GEORGE (VIA WEBCAM) I think the girl I'm dating has Corona virus. KRAMER Social distancing Jerry! Didn't I say it was the next big thing? (KRAMER coughs into JERRY's face) JERRY I wish you'd social distance yourself from me!
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Mar 20, 2020 20:29
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George: George is gettin symptomatic!!!
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Mar 20, 2020 20:32
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1) curb your enthusiasm already exisits. 2) its the same poo poo it was on sinefield 3) its tired, old, and boring.
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Mar 20, 2020 22:14
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4) sitcoms, what's up with that?
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Mar 20, 2020 22:15
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The Gang Gets Coronavirus
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Mar 20, 2020 23:47
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Kramer formulates a plan to get in and out of a packed seafood market without contracting coronavirus. He gets stuck in a group of people who are sidewalk shuffling past each other and gets coughed on, then starts sneezing uncontrollably as he says, “oh that’s not good. Not good not good!”
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Mar 20, 2020 23:59
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Kramer starts hoarding sardines and sells them on the black market, his apartment is hilariously filled with sardines so he has to store them in Jerry's apartment
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Mar 21, 2020 02:22
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Professor Shark posted:Kramer starts hoarding sardines and sells them on the black market, his apartment is hilariously filled with sardines so he has to store them in Jerry's apartment Kramer and Newman dance with joy over all the profits they've made, in Jerry's apartment while he's out. Kramer falls into a huge stack of tinned sardines, smashing some of the cans, then does a half assed job of cleaning up the mess. Jerry returns with his latest girlfriend and thinks the fishy smell is coming from her, so he dumps her.
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Mar 23, 2020 16:30
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Mayor Dinkins' presidential campaign is shuttered after his disastrous $500M "NameTag America" initiative
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Mar 23, 2020 17:17
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Peterman didn't kill himself
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Mar 23, 2020 17:19
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George absolutely loses his poo poo when Elaine says "Ok boomer" to him.
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Mar 23, 2020 17:46
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BigBadSteve posted:Kramer and Newman dance with joy over all the profits they've made, in Jerry's apartment while he's out. Kramer falls into a huge stack of tinned sardines, smashing some of the cans, then does a half assed job of cleaning up the mess. Jerry returns with his latest girlfriend and thinks the fishy smell is coming from her, so he dumps her. Wasnt this an actual episode, it sounds so real
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Mar 23, 2020 18:07
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ELAINE: "So you're telling me that John F Kennedy Jr is alive?" GEORGE: "Yes, he's Q!!! He faked his death, or maybe survived an assassination, it's all... very murky." ELAINE: "I don't care George, what I care is that I can get another date with him!" JERRY: "Elaine, are you sure he didn't fake his death to avoid that second date?" ELAINE: "Very funny, Jerry. How's that new girl, what's her name - Sweat Wanna?" JERRY: "Svetlana. She's 20 years old, from the Ukraine, and as soon as we can fly again I'm going over there to propose!"
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Mar 23, 2020 18:43
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 00:54 |
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Elaine tries to reinvigorate her failed Etsy business by selling shoddy face masks with happy faces. Trump Jr. retweets her, leading to a glut of orders from across Alabama. Suddenly busy, she gives up and blames regulations. Kramer self-isolates in Jerry's apartment, insists Jerry use his. Jerry attempts to turn the tables on his long-time neighbor, but discovers that Kramer has installed a lock on his own door and breaks his shoulder trying to Kramer his way in. George drives Jerry to an ER wearing one of Elaine's face masks. He then gets lost and wanders into a triage tent, where he is mistaken for a renowned pediatrician, receiving lauds for wearing a happy-face mask to keep spirits up. Cases of COVID-19 skyrocket as he diagnoses everyone he meets. Elaine's boyfriend has an annoying cough that reminds her of the theme from the Wacky World of Tex Avery. She breaks up with him, but can't get the song out of her head. Jerry is consumed by anxiety as the hospital is locked down by the National Guard. George, desperate to escape before being found out, ducks out of the triage tent, rips off his mask, takes off running and is caught on camera, sending the city into a panic about a "Super Spreader" at large. Kramer, dressed as Jerry and adopting his mannerisms, welcomes George and Elaine into the apartment. A newscast shows an amateur sketch of George with a full head of hair, sending him into depression. Newman is wheeled in next to Jerry with a workplace injury and begins loudly coughing through a menacing smile. Jerry screams for a nurse.
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Mar 23, 2020 20:45
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