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Yinlock

"I am Wolverine, with my adamantium skeleton, complete with claws, and regenerative powers i am nearly impossible to kill"

"I am Jean Grey, my incredibly psychic powers allows me to read, and in some cases even control, the minds of others and move things with pure telekinetic force"

uh hi i'm dave, light shines out of my nostrils when you press on my nose. what the gently caress did you guys eat

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Yinlock

"X-MEN, THE SENTINELS HAVE A STRUCTURAL WEAKNESS ON THEIR LEFT EYEPLATE, IF YOU CAN PRECISELY TARGET THAT AREA YOU STAND A CHANCE OF DEFEATING THEM"

professor i can only turn poo into birds


Stoner Sloth

Yinlock posted:

"X-MEN, THE SENTINELS HAVE A STRUCTURAL WEAKNESS ON THEIR LEFT EYEPLATE, IF YOU CAN PRECISELY TARGET THAT AREA YOU STAND A CHANCE OF DEFEATING THEM"

professor i can only turn poo into birds

sure this power is no good against robots but i'm betting that super villains with intestinal tracts only try it on a maximum of one time against this guy - the pain and shame of crapping out a flock of seagulls (or worse pelicans) is not something even Magneto could ever quite recover from!







sigs by the awesome Manifisto, Vanisher, City of Glompton, Pot Smoke Phoenix, Nut, Heather Papps,Prof Crocodile, knuthgrush, Ohtori Akio, Teapot, Saosyhant, Dumb Sex Parrot, w4ddl3d33, and nesamdoom!! - ty friends!

Macnult

i am shuffle. i can manipulate the energy stored in objects to turn them into kinetic energy. i know you have someone doing that with cards already but i really think adding 32 chess pieces to your arsenal would be a big help

Macnult

I am Elon Musk.

google THIS

Yinlock posted:

"X-MEN, THE SENTINELS HAVE A STRUCTURAL WEAKNESS ON THEIR LEFT EYEPLATE, IF YOU CAN PRECISELY TARGET THAT AREA YOU STAND A CHANCE OF DEFEATING THEM"

professor i can only turn poo into birds

All fear the pooping bird feedback loop, sure to be an apocalyptic event.

google THIS

I am Ahem. I can cause people to clear their throat more forcefully than they meant to, so it sounds like they're trying to get someone's attention, and they have to apologize and feel awkward.

Finger Prince


Magnolia - with the power to change the colour of anything into a sort of inoffensive and extremely boring yellowy off-white.

biosterous




i am singular-ant-man, i have the mutant power to control one ant



thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!
gallery of sigs


he/him

Macnult

biosterous posted:

i am singular-ant-man, i have the mutant power to control one ant

SeaGoatSupreme
Ask me about fixed-gear bikes (aka "fixies")
Call me superposition. My height changes constantly until it's measured so my dating profile says I'm 6'2" but when I took my date to taco Bell the height thing next to the door locked me at 4'3" until I left. I didn't even get my chalupa

Drink-Mix Man

You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

I am StatiK. I have the power to shoot lethal bolts of electricity from my fingertips! But I can only do it after I've shuffled my footie pajamas on a carpet.

Jaguars!


Mike Scott, general manager of the X-men, who can shrink objects within a 10 foot radius, but whose main contribution is agile policies that have allowed the professor to cut headcount by a third

Jaguars! fucked around with this message at 08:10 on Mar 22, 2020

Jaguars!


Logarhythmia does not appear in episodes after 1985 when the professor bought an IMB XT PC to replace her ability to use a slide rule faster than the eye can see. She was retrenched and eventually found a job at wal-mart after moving back in with her parents.

Jaguars!


The Broadcaster, who could travel via the phone network to avoid long distance and peak hours, Latitudnia, who could find a route on any map, and Cybohack, who could commune with machines via a headphone jack all just kind of faded into the background during the iphone era.

Heather Papps

hello friend


yes, Angelo, it is very cool you have giant feathered wings, but we both know you are incapable of anything beyond the most basic gliding, and the hollow bones in your wings will shatter if you try and attack with them. we are going to assign you to the "janitorial staff!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gL8D3TB-lz8



thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

Goons Are Gifts

biosterous posted:

i am singular-ant-man, i have the mutant power to control one ant


Yinlock

biosterous posted:

i am singular-ant-man, i have the mutant power to control one ant

magneto: at last you've arrived, x-men, so kind of you to deliver yourselves to ah gently caress, bullet ant in my glove, poo poo that hurts, ahhh *sucks air through teeth* gently caress

wolverine: should we come back later or

magneto: PISS


Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
An X-man who's only power is the fact that, by sheer incredible coincidence, happens to be an ex you dated once.

google THIS

I am Dweeb.

What? No one questions Beast's mutant powers!

Uxzuigal

Chill Berserker Dude
Hey, I am John Doe... my super power is that I have doe antlers that easily break of and regrow.

<3 <3 Vanisher

Finger Prince


Mansplain
Mutant power: able to distill complex concepts and functions into really basic layman's understanding and, with the smug conviction of a condescending dickhead, feed it back to the person who created them or is otherwise and expert in the field, driving them into a berzerk rage.

Professor X plugs himself into Cerebro - "Somethings wrong, I can't seem to locate Jean Grey's psychic signature"
Mansplain: "you're probably not doing it right. See, Cerebro is a psychic amplifier, and what it does is reach out across great distances to psychically connect with people. You probably need some psychic power to activate it. Since that power is a Mutant ability in the brain, it's probably that your brain isn't connected right to Cerebro. Try adjusting the helmet. Here, let me do it."

roomforthetuna

I don't need to know anything about virii! My CUSTOM PROGRAM keeps me protected! It's not like they'll try to come in through the Internet or something!
It's definitely just a coincidence and nothing to do with writer difficulty that Mansplain is never in the same room as Magneto.

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
You're alert and ready to head first into the action when you suddenly find yourself sitting down, closing your eyes and letting out a long, heavy sigh. Your motivation is spent, you're sleepy and ready for a little nappy-poo. That's right, you just got gazed upon by none other than...

Sigh-clops

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
See that person sitting over there who's naked but looks like they're wearing an all-over-body blush attempting to hide in the shadows?

Yeah, that's rouge.

Manifisto


behold the might of FIDDLE-MAN and despair!

no I don't play the fiddle. when there's a technical problem I sort of fiddle with whatever's not working, and a lot of the time it just starts working again, for no good reason.

this is me irl


ty nesamdoom!

PHIZ KALIFA

#mood
my friends call me Maestre di Pizza, destroyer of worlds.

crimes

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Manifisto posted:

behold the might of FIDDLE-MAN and despair!

no I don't play the fiddle. when there's a technical problem I sort of fiddle with whatever's not working, and a lot of the time it just starts working again, for no good reason.

this is me irl

I too am a skilled technomancer

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

roomforthetuna

I don't need to know anything about virii! My CUSTOM PROGRAM keeps me protected! It's not like they'll try to come in through the Internet or something!
Hoverman, who can fly up to 3 inches off the floor. It seems like it might be slightly useful for avoiding triggering pressure plates or something, but no, the full weight of Hoverman is still transferred to whatever is below him. It does come in handy when he can't quite reach something from a shelf though.

But also he's 5'4" tall.

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
Flash- he's there at the right time when it's just a bit too dark to take that picture and then he's gone.

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
Albert Dente- cooks the perfect pasta, every time.

Finger Prince


Manifisto posted:

behold the might of FIDDLE-MAN and despair!

no I don't play the fiddle. when there's a technical problem I sort of fiddle with whatever's not working, and a lot of the time it just starts working again, for no good reason.

this is me irl

I have this super power. Sometimes I don't even need to fiddle with it. The thing just knows I'm coming and decides to start behaving itself again.

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

I too am a skilled technomancer

Indeed.

FluffieDuckie

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

Flash- he's there at the right time when it's just a bit too dark to take that picture and then he's gone.


Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

Albert Dente- cooks the perfect pasta, every time.


Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

Finger Prince


Obvioso
Able to find the obvious solution to whatever the convoluted plot device of the day is.

Juggernaut is all hopped up on experimental Mutant rage steroids and is destroying everything in his path! It will take the combined efforts of all the X-men and Mafneto's minions to stop him!

Obvioso: Or just have nightcrawler teleport him to the moon and leave him there until the drugs wear off. I mean even if he tried jumping back to earth, it's not like he's got a slide rule and all of NASA to calculate the right trajectory. He'd probably miss.

google THIS

Finger Prince posted:

Obvioso
Able to find the obvious solution to whatever the convoluted plot device of the day is.

Juggernaut is all hopped up on experimental Mutant rage steroids and is destroying everything in his path! It will take the combined efforts of all the X-men and Mafneto's minions to stop him!

Obvioso: Or just have nightcrawler teleport him to the moon and leave him there until the drugs wear off. I mean even if he tried jumping back to earth, it's not like he's got a slide rule and all of NASA to calculate the right trajectory. He'd probably miss.

He's the One Canny X-Man.

roomforthetuna

I don't need to know anything about virii! My CUSTOM PROGRAM keeps me protected! It's not like they'll try to come in through the Internet or something!

google THIS posted:

He's the One Canny X-Man.

roomforthetuna

I don't need to know anything about virii! My CUSTOM PROGRAM keeps me protected! It's not like they'll try to come in through the Internet or something!

Finger Prince posted:

Mafneto's minions
Mafneto is capable of doing the maf required to calculate the trajectory to jump from the moon to Earth, in his head, but nobody will listen to him because of his speech impediment.

Finger Prince


roomforthetuna posted:

Mafneto is capable of doing the maf required to calculate the trajectory to jump from the moon to Earth, in his head, but nobody will listen to him because of his speech impediment.

"Just because you'w wubbish at maf don't mean it ain't neato!"

"what the gently caress is he talking about?"

"I dunno I think he's speaking like French or something"

"I'm bloody Bwitish, you Amewican twash!"

HUSKY DILF

aggressively chill
The Joshua Tree: has the ability to get the chorus from "In God's Country" stuck in your head for around 16 minutes

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oliwan

by Nyc_Tattoo
Pronunco - instinctively knows the correct pronunciation of every foreign word, but has to correct you every time you say it wrong in order to stay alive

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