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chitoryu12 posted:
Somehow, the "discretion" here makes this a creepier phrasing than outright stating things would be.
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Jan 24, 2021 00:04
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Chapter 9: Speedlinequote:Bond felt the gut-twist of impotent horror as he watched, peering through the goggles into the rising haze of snow. The crimson figure, twirling like a rag doll, disappeared into the fine white spray, while the few people near Tirpitz and Bond flattened themselves on the ground, as though under mortar fire. Brad Tirpitz, like Bond, remained upright. His only action was to grab back the binoculars and lift them to his eyes. This is the second book in a row where Bond hosed the villain by accident. quote:Bond pulled himself from his thoughts. ‘What do you reckon?’ He turned to Kolya for a second, before looking back up the slope. Can you at least try to pretend not to be villainous here? quote:As if on cue, a police Saab Finlandia came skidding into the main hotel car park, pulling up a few paces short of where Kolya, Tirpitz, and Bond stood. Two officers got out. Kolya was immediately beside them, speaking Finnish like a native born. There was some uncharacteristic gesticulating, then Kolya turned back to Bond, muttering an obscene Russian oath. ‘They can’t get a chopper here for another half hour.’ He looked very angry. ‘And the rescue team’ll take as long.’  This is what you get when Saab loves your work and really wants to promote themselves! The Saab 900 Finlandia was built in Uusikaupunki with only 570 made between 1979 and 1986. It extends the body by almost 8 inches to stretch out the doors and rear seats, creating an "executive" version of the car for government officials and CEOs. quote:‘Then we have . . .’ Imagine getting your lips stuck to a megaphone during a rescue. quote:‘If you can hear me, Rivke, raise one arm. This is James.’ The voice, magnified by the amplifier to a volume ten times that of his normal speech, echoed around them. Good thing we have that video upthread to understand this already! quote:When the line was secure, Bond removed the safety pin at the rear of the carrying handle, then shifted his hand to the moulded grip behind the trigger guard. He dug the heels of his Mukluk boots into the snow and advanced four paces up the slope. The snow was soft and very deep to the right of the broad ski slope fall line – where it was packed rock hard and only negotiable with the aid of ice climbing equipment. Bond gets Rivke to painfully grab onto the line and tie it around herself as more and more hotel spectators come out to watch the rescue. Now they need to drag her back in. quote:Bond had been aware of the ambulance arriving but now registered its presence for the first time. There was a full medical team on board, complete with a young, bearded doctor. Bond asked where they would take her, and the doctor – whose name turned out to be Simonen – said they were from the small hospital at Salla. ‘After that,’ he raised his hands in an uncertain gesture, ‘it depends on her injuries.’ Just a fall! That's it! quote:After a few moments the doctor touched Bond’s shoulder, pulling him away. Tirpitz and Kolya Mosolov knelt by the girlas the doctor muttered, ‘Both legs fractured, by the look of it.’ He spoke excellent English, as Bond had discovered during their earlier exchange. ‘Frostbite, as you can see, and advanced hypothermia. We have to get her in fast.’ Gardner keeps it ambiguous just how old Bond is supposed to be in his books or how far away the Fleming adventures took. Fleming set each book about 1 year apart from each other, give or take a few months to get the right season, while Gardner aged Bond up just enough to get him a little gray while shifting the timeline forward into the 1980s. quote:As though the two pictures had suddenly merged, he heard Kolya saying, ‘We have to talk, James Bond. I have to ask questions. We must also be ready for tonight. It’s all fixed, but now we’re one short. Arrangements will have to be made.’  Once again grounding this book in a more realistic setting (snowplow battles aside), the infinity transmitter (or "harmonica bug", as the original design was activated by playing a harmonica tone into it) is a design that's decades old. You place it within a target's telephone or on the line and activate it, usually by calling the target phone and dialing a touch-tone code. The bug then uses either the phone's audio receiver or its own microphone to pick up audio from not only the phone line, but within the rest of the room. quote:Bond removed the bug, carried it to the bathroom and ground it under the heel of his Mukluk before flushing it down the lavatory. ‘So perish all enemies of the state,’ he muttered with a wry smile. Don't waste the drat things! They're made special for you! quote:Waking with a start, Bond glanced at his watch. It was almost three o’clock. He crossed to the window and looked out. The snowscape appeared to change as he stood there, the sudden sharp white altering as the sun went down. Then came the magic of what in the Arctic Circle they call ‘the blue moment’, when the glaring white of snow and ice on ground, rocks, buildings, and trees, turns a greenish-blue shade for a minute or two before the dusk sets in. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZO9b5kLp7IU The "blue moment" is the brief period in the winter in far northern latitudes like Lapland where the sun just barely manages to come toward the horizon, creating an odd twilight for a few hours. quote:He would be late for the meeting with Kolya and Tirpitz, but that could not be helped. Bond quickly went to his now bug-free telephone, and asked the operator for the hospital number at Salla. She came back quite quickly. Bond got the dialling tone and picked out the number. His first thought on waking had been Rivke. Uh oh. quote:Bond asked if there were any other hospitals near by. No. The nearest hospital was at Kemijärvi, and they would not operate an emergency service in this area any more than the hospital at Pelkosenniemi. Bond asked for the numbers of both those hospitals, and the local police, then thanked the girl and began to dial again.
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Jan 25, 2021 17:42
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I can't believe Bond handed his wounded comrade to Agent 47 without checking
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Jan 25, 2021 19:46
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Icebreaker posted:Kolya turned back to Bond, muttering an obscene Russian oath. ‘They can’t get a chopper here for another half hour.’ He looked very angry. ‘And the rescue team’ll take as long.’ Icebreaker posted:It took the best part of three-quarters of an hour to pull Rivke to within reaching distance. Um. Gee, thanks for the rescue, Bond.
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Jan 25, 2021 19:51
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Prediction time: it’s going to turn out the Brad is also a Nazi, and in a classic “the butler did it” twist, the Soviet guy will turn out to be on the level
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Jan 26, 2021 00:24
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I will say there is a twist in this book nobody will see coming.
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Jan 26, 2021 01:26
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Bond’s implanted personality from Golden Gun is the villain?
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Jan 26, 2021 01:34
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Chapter 10: Kolya And there we go! quote:James Bond was furious. ‘You mean we aren’t going to do anything about Rivke?’ He did not shout, but his voice was cold, brittle as the ice decorating the trees outside Kolya’s window. This is from Luke 9:60. In that case, the first "dead" is referring to those who are "dead to Jesus", those who have no influence over him. It's a statement to a disciple who wanted to bury his father before following him to put Jesus over tradition and show that he could sacrifice for a higher cause than himself. quote:Bond’s temper was frayed. Already he had been within an ace of losing it a couple of times since joining the remnants of the Icebreaker team in Kolya’s room. Kolya had opened up at his knock, and Bond had pushed past him, a finger to his lips, the other hand holding up the VL34 detector like a talisman. Silence, communist! quote:As yet Bond had not been able to give Kolya the full details of the warning telephone call that he supposed came from Paula. He did so now, watching the Russian’s face alter. Mosolov’s features were like the sea, he thought. This time the change was from anger to placidity, then concern, as Bond outlined how the trick could have been managed. Whoever was operating against them knew a great deal about their private lives. At this point, Bond and Brad finally confront Kolya about Count von Glöda. He admits to him being the prime suspect, but claims that he was waiting until they had positive confirmation before revealing anything to the rest of the group. Since they all know the full story now with Rivke and von Glöda being the Tudeers, Kolya figures they may as well continue on. quote:Very quietly Kolya turned his head, eyes clashing with Bond’s. ‘I suggest that Rivke will be okay. That we leave her in – what’s your expression – leave her in baulk? I predict that Rivke Ingber will reappear when she’s ready. In the meantime, if we are to collect the evidence that will eventually smash the National Socialist Action Army – which is our sole reason for being here – we must go into tonight’s operation with some care.’  Alakurtti Air Base is still operational and serves as one of Russia's key strongholds in fortifying their presence in the Arctic Circle. quote:‘I understand’, he said, ‘that we’re all fairly expert on snow scooters.’ He looked first at Tirpitz, then at Bond. Both men nodded their assent. ‘I’m glad to hear it, because we’re all going to be under pressure. The weather forecast for tonight is not good. Sub-zero temperatures, rising a little after midnight when light snow is expected, then dropping to hard freezing conditions again.’ "What was that I couldn't hear you over my evil plan CARRY ON" quote:‘. . . I made other arrangements. We need at least four bodies on the ground for what we have to do. We must cross the Russian border without help from my people, following a route which I suspect will also be used by NSAA vehicles. The intention was to leave two of us as markers along the route while Bond and I went all the way to Alakurtii. My information is that the NSAA convoy will be arriving, by arrangement with the officer in command of Blue Hare and his subordinates, at about three in the morning.’ Remember when Bond was running around Tara dodging ants and trying to find out the secret behind mind control ice cream used to steal a particle beam satellite while being manipulated by Blofeld's one-breasted daughter? quote:Kolya gave a kind of secret smile. ‘Von Glöda’, he said very slowly, ‘will be here.’ His finger hovered over the map, then stabbed down at a section marked out in oblongs and squares. The map reference showed it to be just inside the Finnish border, a little to the north of where they would expect to cross and return. Everyone tripping over themselves to show off how powerful their country is. quote:Silence, for a good half minute. NATO reporting designation assigns a letter for each category of weapon, which is then used to pick the reporting name for it. "M" is the "miscellaneous" category, which includes recon aircraft. The Mandrake is the Yakovlev Yak-25, which was known as the Flashlight-A in its original interceptor designation. The Mangrove is the Yakovlev Yak-27, which was the Flashight-C. A Brewer-D is the Yakovlev Yak-28, originally a tactical bomber. The training version was named the Maestro, so maybe that's why they didn't assign an "M" name to the recon version? quote:The other photographs were also of a type with which both Bond and Brad Tirpitz were familiar: military reconnaissance satellite pictures, taken from miles above the earth, with varied cameras and lenses. The most interesting were those which showed, in vivid colour, changes in geological structure.  "Kosmos" was the Soviet designation for satellites. In 1977, the Kosmos 954 was launched for radar reconnaissance. Powered by an onboard liquid sodium–potassium thermionic converter driven by a nuclear reactor, it was intended to loiter for an incredibly long period. Unfortunately, the orbit grew increasingly erratic and Soviet controllers lost control of the satellite. In a series of secret meetings, the Soviets informed the United States of what happened....mainly because the system for detaching its nuclear reactor also stopped working. On January 24, 1978, the Kosmos 954 reentered atmosphere and broke up, scattering radioactive debris along a 370-mile path in northern Canada from Nunavut to Alberta. The Canadian government billed the USSR for over C$6 million in damages, of which they only managed to get half. The episode of Saturday Night Live 4 days later included a skit involving the debris causing the rise of radioactive lobsters, which invaded the studio. Yes, SNL is now part of this thread's history lessons. quote:Bond’s eyes flicked from the satellite pictures to the small drawings on the map. The pictures, mostly magnified and blown up, showed that considerable work had taken place under the earth’s surface. The textures and colours made it plain that the building was well-executed, with a great deal of steel and concrete used. It was a highly symmetrical structure with all the signs of a complete and active underground complex. Still got the giant villain's lair, but at least there's no 20-mile superspeed monorail of Victorian train cars to get to it. quote:‘We believe it is where all the bodies are buried.’ Kolya showed no sign of humour. ‘I personally think it constitutes the headquarters, and planning control command post, of the National Socialist Action Army. The place has also become a major staging point for the arms and munitions stolen from Red Army bases. That refurbished bunker, in my opinion, is the heart of the NSAA.’ Bad Brad is an expert in hairbrained assholes. quote:‘Not if you’re as good as they tell me,’ Kolya said, returning like for like. ‘For my part, I’ve taken the liberty of bringing in another of my people – simply because there are two crossing points.’ He indicated another line, slightly farther north than the route he and Bond would be taking, explaining that both border crossings should be covered. ‘Originally I wanted Rivke up there, just in case. We need a spare, so I’ve arranged it.’ As we all learned in From Russia With Love! quote:After an hour or so of this close briefing, Kolya handed out maps to both Tirpitz and Bond. They covered the entire area, were as near to Ordnance Survey standard of cartography as you could get, and had the routes over the frontier marked in thin pencil, together with the position of Blue Hare, and the same series of oblongs denoting the underground complex of what they had taken to calling the Ice Palace. Blue Hare and the Ice Palace, Kolya maintained, were drawn in to exact scale. I mean, it still tells you if someone came in. quote:They had been at it again during the briefing. Not just the automatic ‘infinity’ in the telephone this time, but a whole screen of listening devices as back-ups: one behind the mirror in the bathroom; another in the curtains, neatly sewn in place; a third disguised as a button in the small ‘housewife’ pack of needles and thread tucked into its pocket inside the hotel stationery folder, and another bug ingeniously fitted within a new lamp bulb by the bed. At this rate, I wouldn't even sleep here. They'd probably come in and have one up your nose. quote:Once he was assured that the room was clean, Bond spread out his map. From the briefcase he had already removed a military pocket compass which he intended to carry that night. Using a small pad of flimsies and a credit card as a ruler, Bond started to make calculations and trace the routes on to the map – noting the exact compass bearings they would have to follow to get across the border and locate Blue Hare, then the bearings out from Blue Hare, following both the route in and its alternative. As I mentioned, Gardner was an actual commando. Much like Fleming having Bond do detailed measurements and triangulation in Moonraker, this is work that the films simply ignore for action. The literary Bond doesn't need to show off his intelligence by rattling off encyclopedia entries when he can actually put in the work on paper. quote:With the same concentration, Bond copied the possible secondary position of the Ice Palace on to his map. He then made one or two further compass bearings. It was possible that von Glöda’s headquarters, and the first stage of the arms convoy, lay not in Finland, but still on the Russian side of the frontier. Even bearing in mind the similarity of the landscape at any point along this part of the border, it was a strange coincidence to find two exactly identical locations within fifteen kilometres of one another. At this point, I wouldn't assume you could poo poo without the enemy hearing. quote:Quickly, Bond committed the compass bearings, and co-ordinates, to memory, using his well-tried form of mnemonics. He then tore up the flimsies from his pad – removing several of the back sheets at the same time – and flushed them down the lavatory, waiting for a few moments to make certain they had all been carried away. What the hell is this? Gardner actually writing plausible superspy gear? After the last loving book? In real life, the commercial production of mobile phones dates all the way back to 1946. Even modern cell phones still use radio technology to transmit through cell towers, so we're not as far off from the original technology as we may think. The "cellular" part of cell phones comes from the implementation of a network of transceivers into a series of "cells", all operating on a slightly different frequency, to avoid interference and allow you to move between cells without losing the call. The car phones of the 60s and 70s were simply a more primitive implementation of the modern design; Tokyo had a cellular system for car phones by 1979. Bond's design is somewhat more advanced than what was commercially available, especially with the encryption, but completely grounded within real science of the time. quote:The whole transmission took around fifteen minutes, with Bond bent inside the dark car lit only by the glow from the tiny screen, very conscious of the ice build-up on the windows. Outside there was a light wind and the temperature continued to drop. When the whole message had been sent, Bond closed up, reactivated the sensors and returned to the hotel. Once more, playing it safe, he quickly swept the room, then removed the base unit from the hotel telephone. Would you say he looks....bad? quote:‘Bastard Kolya,’ Tirpitz spat. I wish I could get a hotel room with a full bar. quote:‘Well.’ Tirpitz took a sip, raising his eyebrows in a complimentary movement. ‘Well, old buddy, Kolya made several telephone calls. Switched languages a lot and I couldn’t figure most of it – double-talk on the whole. The last one I did understand, though. He talked to someone without beating about the bush. Straight Russian. Tonight’s trip, friend, is taking us to the end of the line.’ Bond is being....smart? What the hell is this book? quote:Tirpitz rattled off the figures, and, in his head, Bond worked out roughly where the point came in relation to the whole area of operations. It made sense – a remote-controlled land mine at a spot where they would be travelling a few metres away from real minefields anyway. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 03:42 on Jan 27, 2021 |
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Jan 27, 2021 03:40
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Chapter 11: Snow Safariquote:Every few minutes, James Bond had to reduce speed to wipe the rime of frost from his goggles. They could not have chosen a worse night. Even a blizzard, he thought, would have been preferable. ‘A snow safari,’ Kolya had laughingly called it.  We finally confirm our snowmobile maker! This is a 1982 Yamaha Enticer 340, so probably representative of what Bond is riding. quote:After his lengthy talk with Brad Tirpitz, Bond had prepared himself with even greater care than usual. First there was the job of clearing up – packing away anything that would not be required and taking it out to the Saab, from which other items had to be collected. Having locked the briefcase and overnight bag in the boot, Bond slipped into the driving seat. Once there, he had reason to thank whatever saint watched over agents in the field. I'm sure Bond will be very judicious in immediately telling M that Tudeer was having dinner in the same room as him and will leave the mission immediately. quote:So, Bond thought, M was concerned enough to haul in the line if he went too close. The word ‘line’ brought other expressions to his mind – ‘the end of the line’; ‘line of fire’; being ‘sold down the line’. All these could well be applicable now. I mentioned before how the Sámi are known as reindeer herders. Reindeer meat is very common up in Lapland and a popular "destination meat" for tourists. Industrial production of reindeer is in the millions of pounds per year, but is less than 1% of Finnish meat production. quote:As he ate, Bond slowly realised that his edginess over this assignment, Icebreaker, was not entirely due to the mental excuses he had made about his operational attitudes, working on his own, relying on his professionalism and intuition. There was another element – one that had appeared with the name Aarne Tudeer, and the linking of that name with the Count von Glöda. The "battle" you won against Drax was technically all Gala Brand! She just needed you to do the hard stuff like shoving your face into a blowtorch to get it done. quote:He inhaled sharply, mentally shaking himself. No, Konrad von Glöda was not going to beat him. What was more, if contact came with the phony Count, 007 would turn a blind eye to M’s instructions. James Bond could certainly not leave the field and run from von Glöda, or Tudeer, if he really was responsible for the terrorist activities of the NSAA. If there was any chance of wiping out that organisation, Bond would not let it slip through his fingers. "I'm James Bond! I can do it all myself!" quote:He felt confidence leap back into his system – a loner again, with no one to trust out here in the crushing cold of the Arctic. Rivke had vanished, and he cursed the fact there had been no time to search for her. Kolya Mosolov was about as credible as a starved and injured tiger. Brad Tirpitz? Well, even though they were allies on paper, Bond could not bring himself to a state of complete faith in the American. Certainly, in the emergency they had worked on a contingency plan to cover the attempt which, according to Tirpitz, was to be made on his life. But that was all. The chains of trust between them were not yet welded. Within 5 minutes, Bond is going to bumble into a trap. quote:So now they proceeded, at somewhere between sixty and seventy kph, swerving and bucketing along a rough track between the trees, about a kilometre from the Russian border and parallel to it. The Sámi have a complex and often unpleasant relationship with the Scandinavians they live alongside. The Sámi are native to the northern part of the Fennoscandia region, while the Scandinavians are from the southern part. They had little contact for centuries, but the Scandinavians gradually colonized their entire region and began migrating north. Beginning in the 19th century, the Sámi were subject to forced assimilation; Norway went so far as to parcel out the best farmland in the Sámi's native lands to Norwegian settlers, forcing them to move or abandon their identity to become Norwegian. Sámi children were taken by missionaries or sent to state-run boarding schools to eliminate their culture and language. To this day, the Sámi are increasingly pushed off their land by development and even the construction of NATO bombing ranges on their sacred sites. The modern concept of "land ownership" is completely alien to the nomadic Sámi, which has allowed governments to legally seize their traditional lands due to the Sámi having no way of proving ownership. While Finland ostensibly offers study and daycare in the student's native language, not all schools have been given the funding for Sámi languages. There have been pushes to provide the Sámi with greater legal recognition and aboriginal rights, with February 2020 seeing a nearly three-decade long policy restricting their hunting and fishing rights overturned in Sweden. quote:Bond kept his head down, and was quick in his reactions. A turn needed considerable energy, especially in deep, hard snow, as you had to pull the skis around with the handlebars, then hold them, juddering, as they tried to resume their normal forward direction. Following someone like Kolya presented other difficulties. You could easily get caught in the ruts made by the leader’s scooter, which gave problems of manoeuvrability, for it was like being trapped on tram lines. Then, if the leader made an error, you could almost certainly end up by screaming into him. And, you know, the other problems with Kolya. quote:Bond tried to weave behind Kolya, slewing from side to side, glancing up continually, trying to glimpse the way ahead from the tiny glow of Kolya’s light. Occasionally he pulled out too far, sending the scooter rearing up like some fairground ride, producing a roll first to the right, then left, slipping upwards almost to the point of losing control, then sliding back again and up the other side until, wrestling with the handlebars, he recovered. Bond follows Kolya, who moves with such ease that he clearly knows exactly where he's going. They suddenly break out of the trees into the dark open country, where they can put their throttles to max. quote:The cold became worse, either from lack of shelter or just because they were making more speed across open country. Maybe it was also because they had been on the trail for the best part of an hour, and the cold had begun to penetrate their bones, even through the layers of warm clothing. Ahead, Bond caught sight of the next belt of trees. If Kolya took them through that short line of forest at speed, they would be in the long open dip in a matter of ten minutes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A-K6mfG1Pg quote:This time, when they broke cover, the landscape ahead seemed clearer, even through the frost-grimed goggles. The white valley stretched away on either side, the slope angling gently downwards to flatten, then climbing up the far side into a regiment of trees lined up in battle order. Could be worse. You could be a teenager trying to hop the wall. quote:They flattened out, beginning the straight run. If Brad had got it right, the whole thing would happen in a matter of minutes – two, three minutes at the most.
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Feb 1, 2021 19:58
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Way back in 2007-2008, a remaster of GoldenEye 007 was being done for Xbox Live Arcade, the same as Perfect Dark. It's the exact same game, but with updated models and textures. Unfortunately, the IP's rights are tangled up between multiple companies who would all have to approve everything and the virtually complete remaster would have to be abandoned when they couldn't agree to terms. And then the entire master was suddenly found online, in a playable state on a 360 emulator. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0GinqO4lhU
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Feb 4, 2021 06:32
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Chapter 12: Blue Harequote:At the moment of explosion, Bond’s reflexes came automatically into play. He hauled on the controls, throttling back so that his scooter slewed sideways into a long skid, then slowed towards its inevitable halt. Almost before he knew it, Bond came alongside Kolya’s scooter. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuKyYn0B0dQ quote:If the plan had worked, Tirpitz would already be on the skis which he had smuggled out to the scooters a good hour before they were due to leave. "He's no longer part of the story until he needs to be." quote:The far slope was not easy, and Kolya maintained a cracking pace, as though anxious to reach the relative cover of the trees. Half-way up the first flurries of fresh, falling snow started to eddy around them. After two kilometers at a very slow pace, the snowmobiles get onto a hard packed track that's clearly heavily used by vehicles. quote:Kolya began to pile on the speed, and as Bond followed easily on the flat surface, numbed as his mind was by the chill and marrow-freezing temperature, he started to ask questions. Kolya had shown almost incredible expertise on the way over the border – particularly going through the forests. It was impossible for him not to have followed the same route before: many times. For Bond it had been a time of unrelieved concentration, while Tirpitz had stayed well to the rear for most of the trip. Now the impression came back to Bond that Brad Tirpitz had not even been close during the zig-zagging journey through the trees. It wouldn't be the first time. In Fleming's canon (which this is following), Bond was first stripped of his Double-O designation and sent on an unwinnable diplomatic mission in Japan to shake him out of his depression, and then his very next mission was being sent on a nigh-unwinnable duel with the world's greatest assassin as a quasi-punishment for being brainwashed by the Soviets. This sort of tension is virtually absent from the films until GoldenEye. quote:Was it just possible, Bond wondered, that M had deliberately set him up in an untenable situation? As they racketed and slid through the snow, he saw the answer plainly enough. Yes: it was an old Service ploy. Send a very experienced officer into a situation almost blind, and let him discover the truth. The truth for 007, hammered home again, was that he was well and truly on his own. The conclusion to which he had privately come earlier was, in reality, the basis of M’s own reasoning. There had never been a ‘team’ in the strict sense of the word: merely representatives of four agencies, working together, yet apart. Four singletons. Bond and Kolya stop and hide their snowmobiles. As they switch into their snowsuits, Bond surreptitiously hides a stun grenade and a frag grenade in the suit pockets and unclips his quilted jacket to allow a faster draw of his P7. quote:The Russian did not seem to have noticed. He carried a weapon of his own quite openly on his hip. The large night glasses were slung around his neck, and, in the gloom, Bond thought he could even detect a smile on that mobile face as Kolya handed over the automatic infra-red camera. The Russian was carrying a VTR pack clipped to his belt, the camera hanging by straps below the binoculars. A Russia so miserable that you'd commit treason just to be indoors. quote:As his eyes adjusted, Bond thought about their dreary life. What was there to do in a camp like this? The nightly games of cards; drink? Yes, a perfect place to post alcoholics; crossing off the days to some short leave, which probably entailed a long journey; the occasional trip into Alakurtii which, by his reckoning, was six or seven kilometres away. And what would there be in Alakurtii? The odd café, the same food cooked by different hands; a bar where you could get drunk. Women? Possibly. Maybe some Russian-born Lapp girls, easy prey to disease and the brutal, licentious soldiery. All soldiers were, in the civilian mind, brutal and licentious, Bond thought. Syphilis and other venereal diseases would be rife. The occasional case of rape hushed up, paid off so that the soldiers of Blue Hare could remain untroubled. Someone get HEY GUNS up in here! quote:Bond’s eyes had cleared now. He studied Blue Hare without discomfort: a long, wide oblong cleared of trees, some of which had begun to grow again, encroaching on the tall wire fences with their barbed tops and angled lights. A pair of high gates had been hauled open immediately below them, and the road, snaking in through the trees, had been cleared of snow and ice, either by burners or hard sweat. Within the compound, the layout was neat and orderly. A guard room with wooden towers and searchlights on either side stood near the gate, and the metalled roadway ran straight through the centre of the base, around a quarter of a kilometre long. The storage dumps were placed on either side of this interior road: large Nissen hut-like structures with corrugated curved roofs and high sides, each with a jutting loading ramp.  While video tape recording has been around since the 1950s, these required separate heavy recording units connected by a cable and thus needed at least two people to operate. The camcorder is brand new technology at the time of this book, with Sony releasing the first Betacam commercially in August 1982. This contained a compact integrated recording unit using Betamax cassettes, allowing for the first time a video camera that could be carried and operated by an individual. quote:Kolya’s information was impeccable. The lights were on, heedless of any security. Drawn up beside the ramps were four big tracked armoured troop carriers. BTR-50s, just as Kolya had predicted. Give the man another crystal ball, Bond thought. Too good to be true.  The BTR-50 is an amphibious armored personnel carrier based on the PT-76 light tank, introduced in 1954. The vehicles are capable of entering the water and "swimming", but they'll get swamped and sink in any but the calmest waters. The light weight necessary for this also means the armor is incredibly thin, to the point where some .30 caliber rifle and machine gun rounds could penetrate the sides. They were pulled from service entirely by the late 1970s, but many are still in use in Africa, the Middle East, and Asia. quote:The crews of the BTRs stood to one side, as if they were above the manual labour of dragging and lifting the heavy cargo, though one man from each BTR occasionally spoke to the chief loading NCO on the ramp, checking off items on a clip board.  quote:Kolya jogged his arm and handed over the night glasses, pointing to the foremost part of the first ramp. ‘The Commanding Officer,’ he whispered. Bond took the glasses, adjusted them, and saw a pair of men in conversation. One was from the BTR crews, the other a stocky, sallow-faced figure, muffled in a greatcoat which bore the shoulder boards of a Warrant Officer, the thick red stripe plainly visible through the glasses. Does that mean they're a rag-tag band of misfits who will learn to work as a team and defeat the bad guys? quote:Bond nodded, handing back the glasses. I see, yes. quote:The depot at Blue Hare appeared very close – a trick of the brilliant light, and the frost, which hung tendril-like in the air. Below, the working men seemed to be emitting steam from mouths and nostrils, like over-worked horses, while orders floated up, muffled by the atmosphere; sharp Russian growling, urging the labourers on. Bond even caught the sound of a voice saying, ‘Faster then, you dolts. Just think of the nice bonus at the end of this, and the girls coming over from Alakurtii tomorrow. Get the job done and then you’ll rest.’ Wait, Bond was right? quote:Bond edged his compass out on its lanyard, surreptitiously taking a bearing, and doing some quick mental calculations. Then there was a roar below. The first BTR’s motor had come to life. Men were swarming over the metal, folding up the thick flaps and locking them into place to form the flat top. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvN8i06X-6s quote:‘Time to be getting down,’ Kolya whispered, and they saw the first carrier advance slowly towards the turning circle. It would take the whole convoy around fifteen minutes to lock up, turn, and form their line. The BTRs suddenly turn and head north, down an alternate route. This is unusual, but Kolya blows it off because his other agent will catch up and they begin following at a distance on their snowmobiles. quote:It seemed uphill all the way. Constant weaving, to stay clear of the BTRs’ now dangerous tracks. The engine of Bond’s scooter constantly protested at the strain, while Bond himself tried to get a fix on their direction. Great idea! quote:The thought lasted only for a moment. See it through, a voice said from deep inside him. Welp, he's dead. quote:It was a good fifteen minutes later before they saw the other scooter. A slim figure, heavily muffled against the cold, sat upright in the seat, waiting to move forward. Bond was immediately assassinated. quote:Ahead of them a sudden blaze of light cut through the trees. Bond caught sight of the last BTR and what looked like a vast cliff of snow rising above them. Then the lights grew brighter, shining from all sides – even, it seemed, from above. Great arc lights and spots made Bond feel naked, caught, out in the open. He slewed his scooter, trying for a tight turn in the available space, ready to make a run for it, one hand plunging inside his jacket for the pistol. But the trenches cut in the snow by the BTRs made the turn impossible. As usual, Bond has stubbornly walked straight into an ambush. quote:He stared forward. Kolya sat, straight-backed, on his scooter, but the other agent had dismounted and was walking back, past Kolya, towards Bond. He knew the walk, just as he had thought he recognised the head and shoulders.
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Feb 9, 2021 00:41
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https://twitter.com/the00files/status/1360096712958869505
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Feb 12, 2021 06:22
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chitoryu12 posted:Someone get HEY GUNS up in here!
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Feb 14, 2021 01:21
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Chapter 13: The Ice Palace No, not the one in Die Another Day. quote:The uniformed men closed in. Hands frisked Bond, removed his grenades and his pack. As yet they had not got the commando knife in his Mukluk boot: a small bonus. At least he's not trying to beat them all up at once again. quote:They had come straight out of the trees into a semicircular clearing which ended in a large backward-raked flat slope, like a mini ski run. It was, of course, the bunker – the Ice Palace – for huge, white-camouflaged doors had opened in the side of the slope. Warmth seemed to pour out from the brightly lit interior. Why does she keep doing evil laughs? quote:‘You feel better soon,’ one of the men dragging him said in heavily accented English. ‘We give you drink inside.’ The White Sámi! quote:‘Good. Yes,’ Bond blurted out. He fought for breath. There was no way he could feign unconsciousness after swallowing that firewater. He shook his head and looked around. The smell of diesel fumes floated up from the rear of the cavern, and the sloping wide-ramped entrance descended at a steady angle.  Did Gardner just run out of opportunities to use the Sámi earlier? He had to throw them into the bad guys' base? quote:From high up in the curved roof came a metallic click followed by a series of high-pitched warning whistles. Paula and Kolya began to move faster, and there was the hiss of hydraulics. The great metal doors slowly began to roll down: a safety curtain against the world. "There's absolutely no way James Bond would have been smart enough to properly transmit all of this information to MI6 before purposefully rushing into a trap." quote:‘Does he want to see us?’ Kolya asked.  quote:‘Good.’ Paula turned her attention back to Bond. ‘You’d like to look over the place? It’ll mean a lot of walking. Are you up to it?’ Amazingly, there's a reason this is happening. quote:‘Chauvinist.’ She did not say it unpleasantly. ‘Okay, we’ll go for a walk. But first,’ her eyes moving to the guards, ‘search him. Thoroughly. This one has more hiding places than a Greek smuggler. Look everywhere – and I mean everywhere.’  quote:They looked everywhere and found everything, and not very gently. Paula and Kolya then took station on either side of Bond. The two soldiers – AKMs at the ready – followed a few paces behind. After a few metres, the ramp started to plunge, angling sharply, and they all headed to the left side where a walkway had been built, incorporating a hand rail and steps.  The original Avtomat Kalashnikova ("AK-47" is actually a westernism) appeared in The Living Daylights in the hands of Trigger, the cellist/sniper at the Berlin Wall. It had always been intended for the AK to be a cheap assault rifle made of stamped steel, but the Soviet Union encountered production problems with the receiver manufacture. To avoid interrupting production, the design was switched to a heavier milled one; while stamping is faster and cheaper, it requires specialized equipment designed specifically for those parts, while it was easy to switch the machine tools for Mosin-Nagant production to the AK. Once the production issues had been straightened out, the USSR updated the design in 1959. In addition to the lighter and cheaper stamped receiver, the gun was fitted with a distinctive slanted muzzle brake to control the tendency of the rifle to climb up and to the right under recoil. The hammer was also modified to eliminate the chance of an out-of-battery firing, which coincidentally slightly reduced the cyclic rate of fire. Both milled and stamped receiver AKs were copied widely around the world, both with and without Soviet permission, making it one of the most common firearms to encounter. The USSR switched to a lighter, higher velocity 5.45x39mm round inspired by the American 5.56x45mm in 1974, with the new AK-74 seeing its first combat service in the 1979 invasion of Afghanistan. Despite this, the Soviets kept the AKM in inventory and some special forces units into modern day have expressed a preference for the 7.62x39mm round for its perceived greater stopping power at close range. quote:The bunker had clearly been built with great skill. Warm air surrounded them, and high up on the walls above them Bond was aware of the water and fuel pipes, air conditioning channels, and other underground life-support systems. There were also small metal boxes, set into the concrete at intervals, indicating some kind of internal communications system. The whole place was well-lit, with large strip lights set into the walls and the arched roof. As they descended, so the passage widened. Below, Bond saw that it opened up into a giant hangar. The neutron bomb is a low-yield thermonuclear explosive designed for maximum lethality with minimal property damage. While the explosive power itself is fairly low, it releases a massive burst of neutron radiation that fatally irradiates a wide swathe of land; a 1 kiloton bomb would blow apart unreinforced buildings out to 600 meters, immediately incapacitating and fatal radiation poisoning out to 900 meters, and fatal but lingering poisoning to 1400 meters. It was envisioned both as an anti-ballistic missile interceptor (the neutron burst would cause a warhead to undergo partial fission, preventing it from detonating) and a way of taking out the expected large formations of Soviet armor in World War III with minimal destruction to the surrounding NATO property. The neutron bomb was met with a horrified reaction by anti-nuke protesters, to the point where European countries refused to allow the US to deploy it on their territory. As far as is known, they have never been deployed except by the A-135 anti-ballistic missile system that protects Moscow. quote:Bond kept his eyes well open, observing everything, from the number of fireproof arms and munitions shelters, to the wide catwalks set half-way up the wall around this area. He also counted off the exit doors making a mental note to try and discover where they led. In the far corner of his mind he thought too of Brad Tirpitz. If Tirpitz had escaped the blast, there was still a chance of his making some vantage point on skis, still a possibility that he would not be far behind, still a hope that he would raise some kind of alarm. "He's well aware of your propensity to eat food provided by villains without question." quote:‘I had a feeling it was going to be something like that.’ Good thing Bond has a plan to get out! Right? quote:Kolya and Paula nudged him to the right. They went through two more sets of fire doors, passing other corridors leading off the main route, and doors on either side. Voices could be heard, and the occasional clatter of typewriters. The security appeared tight, and Bond spotted armed guards everywhere, some in doorways, others at points where the tributary passages joined the main walkway. Just making it really obvious where they stand. quote:Paula spoke quickly, in German, and one of the uniformed men nodded, tapping on the high doors, then disappearing into the room beyond. The other man eyed Bond with a twisted smile, his hand moving constantly to the holster on his belt.  At this point in history, Erler's portrait of Hitler (based on a 1931 photograph of him with the SA) would have been in US military storage. As part of the Potsdam Agreement of 1945, the Allies confiscated all works of Nazi art and propaganda for destruction. Around 8722 items were kept in the US in storage until 1986, when all but the 450 worst examples of overt propaganda were returned to Germany. Those paintings remain held back. quote:‘You like it, Mr Bond?’ There's so many sudden twists going on that Bond is just going with it now. quote:‘You managed to avoid the land mine after all, then?’ Bond succeeded in making it sound matter-of-fact. The Tirpitz wasn't even a Tirpitz until he got shot! quote:There was a movement from the desk, a slapping of the hand, as though von Glöda decided he was being neglected. "This is getting too ridiculous! I can't take it seriously! You stop it right now!" quote:‘Führer?’ he exploded. ‘You call this man Führer – Leader? You’re crazy, the lot of you. Particularly you.’ His finger stabbed out towards the man behind the desk. ‘Aarne Tudeer, wanted for crimes committed during the Second World War. A small time SS officer, granted that dubious honour by Nazis fighting with Finnish troops against the Russians – against Kolya’s people. Now you’ve managed to gather a tiny group of fanatics around you, dressed them up like Hollywood extras, put in all the trappings, and you expect to be called Führer! Aarne, what’s the game? Where’s it going to get you? A few terrorist operations, a relatively small number of Communists dead in the streets – a minuscule success. Aarne Tudeer, in the kingdom of the blind the one-eyed man is king. You’re one-eyed and cock-eyed . . .’ Accurately one-balled? quote:His outburst, calculated to produce the maximum fury, was cut short. Brad Tirpitz, or whoever he was, sprang from his chair, arm rising to deliver a stinging backhander across Bond’s mouth. The only appropriate way to deal with unironic Nazis: laugh at them as lame losers. And then kill them. quote:Tirpitz, or Buchtman, clicked his heels, gave the old, well-known Nazi salute and left the room. Von Glöda addressed himself to Kolya. ‘My dear Kolya, I’m sorry but our business will have to be delayed for a few hours – a day perhaps. Can you accommodate me in that respect?’ He tears off Tudeer's mask and it's Q'ute underneath. quote:‘Good; I can now talk.’ Von Glöda stood, hands clasped behind his back, a tall straight figure, every inch a soldier. Well, Bond reflected, at least he was that – not the pipsqueak military amateur Hitler had proved himself to be. This man was tall, tough, and looked as shrewd as any seasoned army commander. Bond sank into a chair. He was not going to wait to be asked. Von Glöda towered over him, looking down. Poor ol' Freckles, caught by the Nazis and died. quote:‘You’re quite a humorist, Mr Bond. Particularly for a man in your present situation.’ One that has somehow survived all these decades of reorganizing! quote:‘Mmmm.’ Von Glöda nodded. ‘Wanted for subversion, and crimes against the state. Death to spies, Mr Bond. A little information before death. James Bond is top of SMERSH’S list and, as you well know, has been for a long time. I needed help of a particular kind. Something to get me . . . how would you say it? . . . off a hook, with certain gentlemen of the KGB. Even the KGB – like all men – have a price. Their price was you, James Bond. You, delivered in good condition, unharmed. You’ve bought me time, arms, a way to the future. When I’ve finished with you, Kolya takes you to Moscow and that charming little place they have off Dzerzhinsky Square.’ What passed for a smile vanished completely. ‘They’ve waited a long time. But come to that, so have we. Since 1945 we have waited.’ He dropped his long body into the chair opposite Bond. ‘Let me tell you the whole story. Then, possibly, you’ll understand that I shall have purchased the Fourth Reich, and the political future of the world, by fooling the Soviet Union and selling them an English spy: James Bond, for whom they lust. Foolish, foolish men, to stake the future of their ideology on one Englishman.’ Great, more exposition. quote:The man was unhinged. Bond knew that, but possibly so did many others. Listen, he thought. Listen to all von Glöda has to say. Listen to the music, and the words, then, perhaps, you will find the real answer, and the way out.
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Feb 14, 2021 03:15
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qB4KbBcwtYg Karl Kasarda just did a deep dive into the practical shooting of the VP70 that I spent so much time insulting. Turns out in addition to its described flaws, the design actually reduces the velocity of the 9x19mm round to the point where it's only flying as fast as .380 ACP! Bond was basically equipped with a more expensive, less powerful Hi-Point.
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Feb 15, 2021 18:37
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Chapter 14: A World for Heroesquote:‘When the war was over, and the Führer had died, gallantly, in Berlin,’ von Glöda began. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBaEQ9grmYM Few dictators are mentally all there, and Adolf Hitler would not be the one to buck the trend. His health declined as Germany inched closer to defeat. He had been an amphetamine addict since 1942 and spent most of his days under a terrifying cocktail of drugs, from cocaine to opiates, which hardly helped his judgement while trying to win World War II. On January 16, 1945, Hitler brought his closest leadership and their families to the Führerbunker in Berlin to plan the last desperate defense of the capital. When Hitler learned that no help would be coming, he suffered a nervous breakdown (as depicted in the famous "Hitler Rants" meme from the above film) and began planning suicide. Fanatic to his own ego, he believed that the failure of Germany was a failure of the Aryan race as a whole and no longer deserved to exist. After testing the cyanide pills on his beloved dog, Blondi, Hitler and his lover Eva Braun both took cyanide pills on April 30. For good measure, on the advice of SS physician Werner Haase for the most painless method of suicide, he followed up by shooting himself in the temple with his Walther PPK in .32 ACP. Hitler and Braun's bodies were brought outside and burned in a shell crater to disguise them from capture and defilement, but SMERSH agents (in the first historic action they've taken in these two threads!) found the bodies and brought them in for identification through dental records. Hitler and Braun would be followed by over 7000 mass suicides across Germany, including Joseph and Magda Goebbels (who also murdered their children). The bodies were secretly buried at a SMERSH facility in Magdeburg, but concerns about them becoming a Neo-Nazi shrine led to the KGB having the bodies exhumed, burned, crushed, and the ashes thrown in a nearby river in 1970. quote:As the story came out: the hiding in Germany, then contact with the organised escape groups, Spinne and Kameradenwerk, Bond saw clearly that he was not just dealing with some old Nazi, living with dreams of a past glory which had died in the Berlin Bunker. Imagine if this guy lived to see The Night of the Wrong Wives. quote:‘No victims?’ Bond queried. This is pretty much just what Blofeld did in On Her Majesty's Secret Service. quote:‘I planned to start the supposed terrorist acts last year.’ Von Glöda was truly in his stride now. ‘The problem, as always, was arms. Men I could train – there are plenty of troops, many experienced instructors. Arms are another matter. It would have been difficult for me to pose as PLO, Red Brigade, IRA even.’ "You haven't praised me for telling you my entire plans? Guards! Take him away!" quote:‘You seem to have pulled off a coup of some magnitude,’ Bond said. He meant it to sound like a comic book bubble, but von Glöda took him seriously. Now this is just getting awkward. quote:‘The world? Yes. The authorities catch up with them, and they come running to me for cover. Yes, I really think I can boast of our successes so far. One thousand men and women here, in this bunker. Five thousand men out in the field – throughout the world. An army growing daily; attacks on main government centres all over Europe, and the United States, all planned down to the last detail; and the armaments ready for shipment. After the next assault, our diplomacy. If that does not work, then more action, and more diplomacy. In the end we shall have the largest army, and the largest following, in the Western world.’ Outnumbered, outplanned! quote:‘Outgunned? I doubt it, Mr Bond. Already during this winter we’ve shipped very large quantities of munitions out of here – BTRs, Snowcats, piled high. Straight across Finland, over rough country. Now they’re waiting for onward shipment as machine tools and farming implements. My methods of getting supplies to my troops are highly sophisticated.’ You...wanted them to know? If Bond had actually reported the location of Blue Hare as soon as he found out about it, Tudeer would have been hosed. quote:A healthy trade with the NCOs at Blue Hare was established and worked well for some time. Then, suddenly, their CO – ‘a man of little imagination’ – came, in a panic, to the Ice Palace. A spot inspection had been called, and two Red Army Colonels were spinning around like Catherine wheels, accusing anyone and everyone – including the Warrant Officer CO Von Glöda suggested that the Warrant Officer stand on his dignity and ask the Colonels for an investigation by the KGB. You should give Bond a drink and a cigar if you're going to spend so long telling stories. quote:‘And you go on to form the Fourth Reich?’ James Bond said.’ And the world lives happily ever after?’ Seriously, this is like a casual chat! quote:Von Glöda nodded. ‘I told Kolya how to do it, and how to substitute people. I did not bargain for Mossad sending my own errant daughter after me.’ "You've pretty much sucked all the air out of the room at this point." quote:‘I think there is. The operation against three British civil servants, just as they left the Soviet Embassy. Think hard, Bond.’ I wasn't expecting any of this! quote:I have renounced nationality. I am not Finnish, nor am I German! Wasn’t it Goebbels who proclaimed Hitler’s feelings? The German people had no right to survive because they had been found wanting; they could not live up to the ideals of the great Nazi movement. They would be wiped out so that a new Party could eventually rise and carry on the work . . .’ Bond starts going through the logic in his head. If they have an NSAA prisoner, does that mean that all of the cooperating governments here knew where Blue Hare was the entire time? If so, what's he here for? quote:‘So, I’m expendable because of one prisoner,’ Bond began. ‘One man who may or may not be held by my people. That’s rich, when you consider the millions your former Führer held in captivity, murdered in the gas chambers, killed off with slave labour. Now, one man holds the balance.’ Yes, Bond is the only fool here! quote:‘Do you think I would be given access to all the facts?’ Bond allowed himself an indulgent smile. "I'm pretty infamous for knowing nothing about what's going on and making this up as I go." quote:Von Glöda gave a hard, short, one-syllable laugh. ‘Have it your own way, but I dare not take risks. I will know the truth. We can take a man to the limit here. If you have nothing to say, you will say nothing, and I shall know there is little danger. If you know only where my man is being held, that information can be flashed to London. He may be held in the most inaccessible place, but my team in London will still get him – with time to spare.’ Torture? Like never seen before? Groundbreaking. quote:‘But I know nothing.’ "Be the Bad Brad I know you can be." quote:‘Jawohl, mein Führer.’ The arms raised in unison, heels clicking, then the two men converged on Bond, and took him by the arms. He felt handcuffs encircle his wrists, and the grip of strong fingers as they caught hold, bundling him from the room. Chainsaws are the old school method? quote:The breath of all four men, in this freezing dungeon, thickened the air in clouds. Bond smelled the gasoline from the chain saw motor as it fired. ‘We keep it well-protected.’ Buchtman had not lost his American accent. ‘Okay.’ He nodded to the man with the gun. ‘Strip the bastard.’
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Feb 17, 2021 07:50
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 Add to the list of things I just heard of!
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Feb 20, 2021 21:30
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Chapter 15: Dead Coldquote:They unlocked the handcuffs. By that time, James Bond was too cold to resist. The removal of the top half of his clothing, which followed, did not seem to make any appreciable difference. He could hardly move, and it seemed that even his desire to shiver was denied him. I think Gardner is trying to one-up his torture sequences with each book. quote:Strangely, the thing that did matter was the swinging and spinning. Bond did not normally react to disorientation, while flying, doing high-speed aerobatics, or the many other stress tests included in his yearly checkout. Now, however, he felt the bile rise in his throat as the swinging became more regular – pendulum-like – and the spinning slowed, first one way, then the next. Trying to turn "his balls were numb" into gruesome torture. quote:Concentrate: he fought to get a proper perspective, but the cold was like a barrier, a chill wall preventing his brain from working. Harder; concentrate harder. "Say hello to your rasping genitals for me." quote:From above, the rattle of something. The chain. His body moving down towards the black eye. For no reason, Bond suddenly thought he had lost all sense of smell. Odd; why no sense of smell? Concentrate on something else. He struggled, setting his mind on a new course. A summer day. The countryside. Trees in full leaf. A bee hovered above his face, and he could smell – the sense of smell was back: a mixture of grass and hay. Far in the distance the sound of some farm machinery peacefully purring. Don’t say anything. You know nothing except this – the hay and grass. Nothing. You know nothing. "Finland has never experienced such pastoral wonders! It's a wasteland of ice and saunas!" quote:Bond heard the final rattle of the chain just as he hit the middle of the black eye. His brain even registered that a scum of ice had already reformed over the water. Then the slack of the chain dropped him into the centre. He must have cried out, for his mouth filled with water. Sunlight. The oak tree. Arms being dragged down by the chain. He could not breathe. On the whole, this is actually a pretty good torture scene. The extreme dissociation happening is realistic and interesting. What I'm more torn about is the seeming necessity of spy novels to have a torture scene like this. Even when written in an exciting and unique way, it already feels old hat by the 80s. It's such a trope that Gardner's Bond manages to repeatedly fall into horrible torture sequences until a lucky break gets him out. quote:‘Okay, Bond. That was just a taste. You hear me?’ Please stop. You'll summon Wood. quote:‘There is a National Socialist Action Army man being held prisoner in England. Where is he?’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMCA9nYnLWo quote:‘Don’t know. Don’t know about prisoner . . . Nobody . . .’ This time the voice came from right inside his head, the sentence cut short as the chain clattered down, plunging him into the gelid mass. James Bond is dead! Goodnight! quote:‘James . . . James . . .’ The voice familiar. Far, far away, from another planet. ‘James . . .’ A woman. A woman’s voice. Then he recognised it. Warmth. He was lying down and warm. A bed? Was it a bed? Oh, James quote:With care, Bond opened his eyes – with a stinging of the lids. Then he stirred, slowly because each movement was painful. Finally he turned his head towards the voice. His eyes took a few seconds to focus. Could things get any weirder? quote:Bond, propped on pillows, had neither the strength nor inclination to resist. The first sip of the beef tea rolled back the years. The taste reminded him of a far distant past – just as a piece of music will recall a long-forgotten memory. Bond recalled a long-lost childhood: the hygienic smell of school sanatoria, the bouts of winter ‘flu at home. He swallowed more, feeling the warmth creeping into his belly. With the inner heat, the horrors also returned: the ice dungeon, and the terrible, terrible cold as he was dunked into the freezing water. Yes. Yes they will.
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Feb 23, 2021 07:37
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There are/were a variety of blogs on Tumblr where people offer expert to near-expert advice on topics writers of all media may want to include in their project. One that has left a heavy impression on me is Script Torture. When I actively followed it, I frequently had to read the blogger say to person after person that torture doesn't work the way they think it does. What I learned from even a shallow swim into their sources has been enough to make me now try to discourage all fellow writers from including it without Intense Research. Even movies kids watch contain torture scenes or references. It's no shock to see Bond in danger often, but reading torture multiple books in a row makes me consider Gardner's imagination to be a bit lacking  I feel bad for not chiming in since November and will try to work on replying more often.
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Feb 23, 2021 09:52
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Chapter 16: Partners in Crimequote:After the beef tea, Bond was given an injection, and the nurse said something about frostbite. ‘Nothing to worry about,’ she said. ‘You’ll be all right in a few hours.’ What is it with this weird obsession with Bond's genitals? quote:On finally waking, Bond was more or less convinced that this had been no dream, so vivid was the picture of von Glöda. There were dreams, however, dreams about the same man: dreams in which von Glöda stood decked out in Nazi uniform, surrounded by the trappings of power at a kind of Nuremberg rally. If only you had contacted M before leaving for the ambush! quote:‘You look worried. What terrible things did they do to you, James?’ "I thought the Russians were just a myth!" quote:Bond nodded. ‘Your beloved Papa has pulled a very fast one.’ He made a grimace, conveying a certain admiration. ‘You have to admit he’s been exceptionally clever. We have searched everywhere for clues, and all the time he’s been operating from the most unlikely place – within Soviet territory.’ Yeah, about that... quote:‘Quite.’ Bond stayed silent for a moment. ‘How bad are the legs?’ So you might be thinking to yourself "If they've already got all the info they need from Bond, why do they have him convalescing instead of just shooting him?" quote:‘Being ducked in almost frozen water, without your clothes on, is slightly disorientating. I passed out a couple of times. They wanted the answers to two questions.’ He went on to say that he knew one answer, but could only guess the other. Did he? quote:‘There’s a possibility. You said your father was in here earlier. I can vaguely remember that. He gave the impression they knew about it. You were awake . . .’ If only he would have done really basic things instead of the same mistakes he always makes! quote:By now, von Glöda would almost certainly be going through all the standard routines of moving shop: packing, organising transport, loading up the BTRs with all the arms and munitions they could carry, shredding documents. Bond wondered if von Glöda had some temporary base – apart from the major new Command Post – from which he could operate. Now he would want to get out as quickly as possible, but it might take up to twenty-four hours. No no, I want to see where this idea leads. quote:If von Glöda were to keep his bargain with Kolya – which seemed highly unlikely – Bond’s only chance would be an escape from Kolya Mosolov’s custody.  This is a garbled way of referring to the Dassault Falcon 20, which was originally named the Dassault-Breguet Mystère 20. It's an early example of the business jet, entering mass production in 1965. It was developed on French government contract requirements to make it suitable as a military liaison transport as well, and its easy flight characteristics and reliability means it's still in military use worldwide despite being out of production for 30 years. FedEx got its start using Falcon 20s to pioneer the air cargo transport that now forms a major part of modern commercial shipping. quote:‘Can it take off on anything?’ Bond thought of the bleak ice and snow among the trees. "I need this information for my escape plan, hurry up!" quote:‘When the runway’s clear.’ The nurse seemed unconcerned. ‘Don’t worry about a thing. We always have ice burners out along the metal runway just before he leaves.’ She paused in the doorway. ‘Now, is there anything you need?’ I think it was just because the prisoner is obviously grilling her for hints. quote:‘Shhhh.’ Rivke made a sharp noise. ‘There’s someone in the passage. Outside the door.’ You don't loving say quote:Bond sprinted, unembarrassed by his nudity, to the table in the corner, grabbed a glass and returned as quickly to the bed. Whispering, he told Rivke, ‘I can always smash it. Surprising how effective broken glass can be on flesh.’ I have never imagined May saying "like greased lightning." quote:‘What . . . ?’ Bond began, realising that this made little difference to the lighting, as most of the illumination came from the ceiling strip light. Bond, you idiot. quote:‘But . . . ?’ Okay, there's the next twist: Paula was secretly a good guy this entire time! quote:Bond was already nearly dressed. He moved to the door side of his bed. ‘What about Rivke?’ Okay so Paula was secretly a good guy pretending to be a bad guy, and Rivke was secretly a bad guy pretending to be a good guy. Got that? There's still more to go! quote:Bond, still getting into the last pieces of clothing, saw the whole thing in a kind of slow motion: Rivke, dressed only in a pair of briefs, with the gun arm rising as her feet hit the floor; Paula’s arms extending into the full-length firing position; Rivke still moving forward, then the one loud echoing blast from the P7; a cloud of gunsmoke making swirling patterns; Rivke’s face disintegrating in a fine mist of blood and bone, as her body, looped backwards by the blast, arced away from them over the bed. Jesus Christ, Gardner! quote:For one of the few times in his life, James Bond felt out of control. He had already recognised the beginning of emotional feelings towards Rivke. He knew of Paula’s treachery. Now balanced on the balls of his feet, Bond prepared to make a last, desperate attempt: a leap towards Paula’s gun arm. But she merely tossed the P7 towards him, making a grab for Rivke’s small pistol. "Seriously, what the gently caress just happened in the last few pages?" quote:‘I’ll tell you the whole thing later, but can’t you understand? You didn’t give them anything under torture, so they rigged you up with Rivke. You spilled it all to his daughter because you trusted her. She’s Daddy’s little helper, always has been. From what I understand she hoped to be the first woman Führer, in due course. Now, will you come on? I’ve got to try and get you out of here. Partners in crime – like I said.’
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Feb 23, 2021 21:42
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REVERSAL OF FORTUNE
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Feb 23, 2021 22:24
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GOD Bond is a loving idiot.
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Feb 23, 2021 22:35
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chitoryu12 posted:What I'm more torn about is the seeming necessity of spy novels to have a torture scene like this. Even when written in an exciting and unique way, it already feels old hat by the 80s. It's such a trope that Gardner's Bond manages to repeatedly fall into horrible torture sequences until a lucky break gets him out. It's preferable to the post 9/11 Vince Flynn era of spy fiction where this kind of OTT torture sequence is carried out by the heroes, and carried out unfeelingly, to show how badass they are. The inversion within the genre from “look how much pain and suffering the superspy can endure” to “look how much pain and suffering the superspy can inflict” is creepy as hell. High Warlord Zog fucked around with this message at 11:01 on Feb 26, 2021 |
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Feb 26, 2021 10:57
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Chapter 17: A Deal is a Dealquote:Paula wore a heavy, well-cut officer’s greatcoat over the uniform Bond had last seen her in. The boots were visible under the coat, and to crown the effect she had added a military fur hat. Her evacuated bowels, or... quote:He turned away, picking up the officer’s fur hat, which Paula had provided for him. Throughout Operation Icebreaker, allegiances seemed to have swerved to and fro in a series of knife-edge uncertainties. He still couldn’t be sure of Paula’s true intentions, but at least she seemed serious about getting him away from the bunker. This meant putting distance between himself and von Glöda, which was a most appealing prospect. What are you going to do, apologize? quote:‘About nothing.’ Paula spoke sharply. ‘All in good time. Just trust me, for once. Like you, I’m not in this for fun.’ Her gloved hand rested on his arm for a second. ‘Believe me, James, they caught you by using that girl, and I had no way to warn you. The oldest trick in the book as well. Shove a prisoner in with someone he trusts, then listen to the conversation.’ She laughed again. ‘I was with von Glöda when they brought the tapes. He leaped about ten metres into the air. Idiot – he was so sure that, because you’d survived his torture without saying anything, there was nothing for him to worry about. Now, James, stay close to me.’ I'm imagining she's calling Bond the idiot here. quote:Paula unlocked the door, and they stepped out into the passageway, pausing for a second while she relocked the door from the outside. The passage was empty, lined with white tiles – sterile with a hint of disinfectant in the air. Other small hospital wards led off to the left and right, and at the end of the passage – which lay to their left – was a metal door. If nothing else, von Glöda was well-organised. Imagine if it turned out to be a triple-agent situation and Paula really was the Nazi. quote:After a couple of minutes, the passage divided. Paula turned right and climbed up carpeted steps. The stairs were steep and led to a very short stretch of passage, at the end of which a pair of double doors, complete with small mesh-covered windows, took them into what must have been an arterial tunnel. Now they were back to the rough walls, with the utility pipes and channels visible. Paula glanced back every few seconds to make sure Bond was with her. Then a left turn, and the simple act of walking told Bond they were on a slight upward slope. "Your incompetence has been invaluable to our efforts, 007." quote:Now, ahead, a small detachment stood guard on what seemed to be the final hurdle. The tunnel came to an abrupt end, closed off by a massive steel shutter. Near the roof, Bond could see hydraulic equipment for lifting the shutter, but there was also a small, heavily bolted door set low on the righthand side. Their passes checked, Bond and Paula exit the base into the black arctic night. Paula leads Bond to a small concrete structure where the snowmobiles are being stored and uses her keys to let them in. quote:Paula made for the first one that suited her purpose – a big, long black Yamaha, much larger than those on which Kolya had led them over the border. "Your behavior has not proven the files correct." quote:Bond slowly produced the P7. ‘Paula? My instincts tell me that you’re KGB.’ "The most unpronounceable of intelligence forces..." quote:‘But . . .’ What the gently caress? Now is not the time Paula! quote:Their route was far from easy. They skirted the bottom of a long rise through tightly packed trees, then made a lengthy run up the slope, swerving among the trees all the way. Yet Paula hardly slowed for anything. Holding the throttle open wide, she took the scooter side on through gaps in the trees, allowing it to ride dangerously, near a forty-five-degree angle on some banks, yet retaining control all the time. Ah, now it's a Fleming character. quote:‘They’ve been keeping clear of the two kotas we’ve got up here,’ Paula said, turning her head towards Bond. I’ve got four men in all. Two have gone in at regular intervals, to check the radio equipment and keep the fires going. It seems that all’s safe. The other pair are in the camp now. I’ve said we’ll go straight to the kotas – you’ll want food, and I’ve got to get a message off to Helsinki on the short wave. They’ll relay it to London. Anything you want to tell your boss – M?’ ...but you just were. quote:‘Shut up and trust me. I’m the only one you can trust out here. Right?’ No! quote:A few steps out of the woods, perched on the ridge, were two kotas. The reindeer skin which covered their wigwam-like structures loomed dark against the snow. Smoke drifted up from the criss-cross of forked poles at the top. From below, Bond thought, they would be difficult to spot against the tall firs and pines. Paula stopped the Yamaha, and they both dismounted. Reindeer, obviously. quote:The next moment, the Lapp was sprawled, yelling, in the fire. His feet had been kicked from under him. One of the blankets seemed to take on a human shape, but before Bond could retrieve his pistol, Kolya’s voice came quietly from the other side of the fire. Yes, Kolya got to the Sámi camp and has been hiding under the blankets this whole time, waiting for Bond to show up. quote:‘From that, I presume you’re taking me with you.’ Bond peered through the haze. "I've already had one villain painstakingly explain the entire plot to me because I asked, so..." quote:‘It’s already in motion. Von Glöda has a military force on Soviet soil. They will be blasted at dawn. The Red Air Force will turn that bunker into a boiling kettle.’ Kolya’s face changed in the fire glow. ‘Unhappily our base at Blue Hare will also be taken out. An unfortunate error, but it solves all problems.’
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Feb 27, 2021 04:58
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Feb 28, 2021 01:34
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Chapter 18: The Fencersquote:There was silence for several seconds, then Mosolov spoke a few words to the groaning Niiles. How much of this book is Bond just getting yanked around by the rest of the cast? quote:‘Again, sorry.’ Paula came right into the kota. ‘We had other problems as well. Comrade Mosolov brought some playmates. Six of them. Aslu and Niiles dealt with that little group once they saw Kolya safely tucked away in here. That’s why I’m a free woman and not a KGB prisoner . . .’ Pray tell, why are the natives "like kids" when told to do violence? quote:‘Shouldn’t we keep him with us until the last minute?’ Bond suggested. ‘You say he had men with him . . .’ Explosions are cool. quote:‘Right,’ she admitted. ‘Once that’s over I think we can turn him loose and let his friends find him – unless you want to take his head back to London.’ Stop making out with people during a mission! quote:The radio kota contained a powerful short-wave transmitter, with facilities for morse and clear speech. There was also a fast-sending device, allowing a transmission to be taped, and then run through in a fraction of a second, ready for slowing, and decoding, at the other end. These messages often appear as a bleep of static in the earphones of the many listeners who monitor signal traffic. I'm surprised Bond doesn't get fooled by more secret agents at this rate. quote:With all his equipment – except for the Heckler & Koch P7 – either gone, or still in the Saab at the Hotel Revontuli, Bond was without any method of ciphering his signal. While Paula worked at the transmitter, one of the two Lapps who had been in the radio kota for most of the time, stood close to her. The other was sent off to keep a watch on the bunker and its airstrip. Bond's going to come back and find that lovely Algerian wine waiting for him in M's office. quote:When Paula had completed her signal, she took Bond’s piece of paper, added a coding of her own to make certain that it would go on to GCHQ, Cheltenham, via her own Service’s Communications Department, and rattled it off on to tape, before zipping it through the small fast-sending machine. "He's vital for continuing drama!" quote:Paula shrugged. ‘Leave it to my Lapps and they’ll take care of Kolya,’ she murmured. But Bond did not want the Russian killed except as a last resort; so the arrangements were made, and the orders given. Actually, there have been no fatal wolf attacks in Finland since a spate in 1881-1882 when a pair of rogue wolves killed 35 children. This resulted in a mass culling of wolves that nearly drove the species extinct in Finland, and a continuing fear that leads to the culling of dozens of wolves a year despite attacks on humans being virtually unknown. quote:Niiles, his hand bandaged, had already fed Kolya, whom he’d propped in the corner of the kota. Previously, Bond had cautioned Paula that they should not, under any circumstances, discuss plans in front of him. They ignored the Russian, though there was always one armed Lapp near by making certain he was well-guarded. I'm sure nothing will go wrong now! We still have 36 pages! quote:After the meal, Paula settled down with Bond in one of the larger sleeping bags. Mosolov seemed to have dozed off, and soon the couple, after several tender embraces, also slept. Eventually, they were wakened by Aslu urgently shaking Bond’s shoulder. Paula was already awake and had been told by Aslu that there was some activity at the bunker. ‘And a good half hour to go before dawn,’ she announced. The floodlights are on down at the base, but no vehicles have left yet. Assuming Kolya was telling the truth and accurate in his timing, the airstrike will hit before they leave. Paula suggests they dig in to deal with how they're stupidly positioning themselves right where they're in danger of getting bombed. quote:She had hardly said the words before the sound of a jet-whine became audible, a fair distance away – like a wail carried on the wind. Just then the sun glowed blood-red in the east. They looked at each other, and Bond lifted his hands, showing gloved fingers crossed for good luck. Shifting slightly, all three watchers tried to dig themselves deeper into the snow. Bond shivered. He had not realised how cold he was – the elements forgotten as he concentrated on the bunker far below, and about a kilometre away. Then, even that brief moment of discomfort was gone as a great double crump seemed to blast the air around them. Far off to the north-east there was a series of brilliant orange flashes, and a plume of smoke rose from the close-knit trees. If these planes were less precise, they'd be loving dead. quote:‘Fencers,’ Bond breathed.  You'll notice I'm using a drawing. That's because the Su-19 Fencer never existed! The Su-19, under the prototype designation T-58PS, was a proposal for an improved version of the Su-15TM Flagon interceptor. It would have new ogival wings and new engines for improved range, improved avionics, and more underwing pylons for missiles or drop tanks. The new plane never ended up being built. So how did everyone get confused? US Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Admiral Thomas Moorer made a statement in 1974 claiming that a new plane was under construction by the Soviets, which their experts named the Su-19 and gave the NATO reporting name "Fencer." It turned out they had actually gotten incomplete information on the Su-24 project, which had variable-sweep wings inspired by the F-111. Some inaccurate drawings were put out, which led to Gardner's mistaken identification here. Once it was clarified what the Su-24 was, the name "Fencer" was given to it.  The Su-24M Fencer-D remains in Russian service, as well as countries like Libya and Ukraine, and will eventually be replaced in Russia by the Su-34 Fullback once they actually have money to spend. The real stats for the Fencer are less impressive than what Bond gives. quote:Having spotted their target, the two leaders would call up the rest of their squadron – or even wing – and pass on the coordinates and instructions, probably tapping them out on a small keyboard. Already the pilots would have been briefed on the order of attack, and the fast reconnaissance assured it would come in a series of angled dives, around forty-five degrees – maybe from different directions, the pairs of aircraft vectored, and controlled, to come in with split-second timing, one after the other. Bond thought of the Soviet pilots – top men to be flying the Fencers – concentrating on their electronics, speed, height, timing, and angle of dive; priming their weapons; glancing constantly at the sky, sweating under their G-suits and helmets.  The official Russian name for those missiles are the Kh-23 and Kh-66 Grom. The Kh-66 is based on the older K-8 missile (NATO reporting name AA-3 Anab) infrared air-to-air missile, modified with a beam riding seeker and larger warhead to turn it into a ground attack missile. Because this required the plane to keep its nose pointed at the target until the missile hit and for the pilot to have clear sight of the target, the Kh-23 project was soon finished to both improve its propellant and switch to a line-of-sight radio guidance system, allowing the plane to avoid this issue. The missiles aren't unguided unless they lose guidance from the plane. quote:Below, after just three attacks – using twelve Kerry missiles – the Ice Palace looked ready to be broken in two. The thunder of the explosions still echoed, and through the inevitable pall of smoke, they could see the terrible crimson glow of fire begin to sweep out of the open main doors, up from the arms stores and vehicle parks.  The gun listed on the "Su-19" is the same one as the Su-15: a GSh-23 twin-barreled 23mm autocannon. It uses the recoil of each barrel firing to cycle the other, allowing it to operate without an electrical power source (unlike the M61 Vulcan and similar guns). It's believed to fire between 3400 and 3600 RPM, a bit more than half that of the Vulcan. quote:Both aircraft pulled up short, their track taking them low and directly through the rising smoke. Just as they disappeared into the black cloud there was a great rumble, followed by an almost volcanic roar. At first, Bond thought the Fencers had touched wings and collided over the target; then the black smoke turned into a huge fireball, spreading outwards, growing in size, first orange, turning to white and, last, to a bloody crimson. The ground shook, and they could feel the snow and earth moving under them, as though an earthquake had, against all the laws of nature, suddenly been activated. Welp, mission's over! quote:Smoke billowed up and then drifted away; there was the occasional spurt of flame, mixed with fires already burning well. Apart from the odd crackling noise, though, there was no other sound. Only the terrible smell of devastation wafted up towards their perch, above what had once been a deep and seemingly impregnable fortress. I see Bond's plan of keeping Kolya alive turned out very well for them! quote:Of Kolya Mosolov there was no sign, and even the most dim-witted person would quickly realise this was not the most healthy place to linger. As he made his way back to Paula, Bond wondered if the scooters had been left intact, and whether Kolya would launch his counter-attack straight away. In real life, the Sámi were devastated by World War II. Because they were divided between Scandinavia and Russia, they were forced to fight for both sides depending on where they happened to live. Norwegian Sámi fought for the local resistance against Nazi occupation, but many were enslaved (and the women raped, obviously) and their labor was used to supply Finland during the Continuation War. Vidkun Quisling, the infamous Norwegian Defense Minister who collaborated with the Nazis, wanted to take advantage of the invasion to commit genocide against them. The Germans even placed Sámi who were evacuated from Soviet territory in concentration camps, causing a rift with the Finnish government. quote:Paula stayed close, for she was to lead the party out. As Bond reached the scooters with her, the three Lapps were just starting the engines. The roar of four scooters seemed to shake the trees, and Bond expected bullets to rain in on them at any moment. So....how much evidence was left behind by them bombing a hidden base that covers two countries? quote:Finally they stopped, taking up station among trees above the great open valley which separates Russia from Finland, running like a dry artificial river from north to south. Is Kolya just superhuman? He's got everything covered perfectly! quote:It was impossible to gauge the enemy strength, or even if they were making progress. All Bond knew was that a fire fight of some vigour appeared to be developing to their front. "When's Niiles coming up?" "About that..." quote:By the time they had covered half a kilometre, darkness surrounded them, and the noise of firing still came from behind. The last two Lapps were putting up a strong fight, but Bond knew it would only be a matter of time, and a great deal depended on Kolya Mosolov’s strength. Would he try to follow on high-powered scooters? Or, as a tactician, would the Russian prefer to spray the valley with fire? This would be a great time to find out you're in the minefield! quote:The first flare was dying, but the bullets still cracked around them, and twice Bond watched the long, almost lazy lines of tracer falling in front of them – reds and greens – first left, and then to their right. That's because you're an idiot, Bond. quote:The tracer still kept coming, even though the flare had gone out. Then another small explosion heralded a second flare, and this time the guns ceased firing. Instead came the terrifying noise of a fast-approaching express train: at least that was what it sounded like until the mortar bomb landed, well behind and to their left. It made a solid, ear-ringing crump, followed by a second and third: all behind them. While this overly long chase continues, we move on to the ruins of the Ice Palace. quote:Since the horrors of that morning’s attack, the men had worked frantically in the only tiny fragment of the bunker that had remained, miraculously, intact – one steel and concrete pen housing a small, grey Cessna 150 Commuter, with ski attachments on its tricycle undercarriage. As the light failed, so they finally managed to swing the buckled doors free. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cRr4B8YbP0 The Cessna 150 is the fifth most produced aircraft in the world, at 23,839. It's a far more low-key plane to be seen taking off from the middle of nowhere than a business jet. quote:The aircraft seemed undamaged, though the runway ahead had been gutted and strewn with débris. The taller of the men gave a few friendly instructions to his companion, who had worked so hard. Willingly, the man trudged out on to the runway, shifting what he could, clearing a few hundred yards of makeshift pathway in front of the Cessna. Of course he just hid until they stopped blowing him up. quote:Paula and Bond reached the Hotel Revontuli at two o’clock in the morning, and Bond went straight to the Saab to send a carefully worded cipher back to M. When he got to Reception there was a note waiting for him. It read:
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Mar 3, 2021 19:14
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https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/31/...indObXKFhEJEco0 This article sounds way too much like the events of a Gardner book. quote:Retired to a tiny island in an archipelago between Finland and Sweden, Leo Gastgivar awoke early one morning to visit the outhouse in his bathrobe, only to notice two black speedboats packed with Finnish commandos in camouflage fatigues waiting in the bay near his front door.
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Mar 9, 2021 17:30
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Chapter 19: Loose Endsquote:They talked almost the whole way back to Helsinki in the Saab. "For starters, what the gently caress?" quote:‘Such as?’ Paula was in one of those cat-who’s-licked-the-cream moods. Dressed in furs, looking more like a woman than what she had called ‘a bundle of thermal underwear’, she shook out her lovely blonde hair and snuggled her head against Bond’s shoulder. You moron quote:‘And you haven’t answered my question,’ Bond persisted. Of managing two missions in a row where he accidentally has sex with the villain. quote:‘Why didn’t I believe she was a genuine Mossad agent?’ Paula did not hesitate. ‘I knew her too well. She was the apple of Aarne Tudeer’s eye. She also loved him dearly. I knew only as a woman can know. Partly it was some of the things she said; partly intuition. Everyone knew about her father – of course they did – there was never any secret. Anni’s secret was that she had been brainwashed by him. I think that, even as a child, he had mapped out what part she would play. Almost certainly he was in constant touch with her, advising and instructing her. He was the one person who could teach Anni how to penetrate Mossad.’ And he did so well in figuring it out! quote:‘All right. Now, tell me the whole story.’ I love it. "I promise, this plot would make total sense if you were there!" quote:‘I wonder.’ Bond took an icy bend a little fast, swore, left-footed the brake, came out of the skid with power, and had the car under control all in a matter of seconds. ‘You know a British General has said that the Russians should be awarded the wooden spoon for ineptitude? They can do the most stupid things. Tell me what happened with Blue Hare.’ You're one to talk! quote:‘I was completely accepted within the, so-called, Führer’s inner circle. He seldom let us forget how clever he was in bribing those stupid NCOs at Blue Hare. He really did pay them a pittance for the equipment; and they didn’t seem to think about being caught.’ So the crazed wannabe fuhrer wasn't even the main villain! It was some random SMERSH dude! quote:‘Under the instructions of von Glöda? It somehow doesn’t ring true.’ You could have just made the plot work first instead of dedicating an entire chapter to an infodump. quote:She paused, took one of Bond’s cigarettes, then continued. ‘For me, Rivke was the most difficult part. I did not dare see her, and Kolya wanted messages passed to her in Helsinki. I had to do it through a third party. Then everyone was really waiting for a chance to have you brought out. Rivke came into play, when von Glöda hatched his little scheme, as a standby . . .’ Oh yes, you really pit your wits against him. You walked into a trap on purpose, got captured and tortured, and got fooled into revealing everything before someone else saved you and told you to quit it. quote:‘It was his strength. He didn’t let anyone gain his complete confidence – even that woman he took around with him. I think Anni – Rivke – was the only one who really knew him.’ "It hasn't fit with the reveals at all." quote:Paula bit her lip. ‘No, dear James.’ She sighed. ‘No, I didn’t set you up. I let you down. How can I explain it? As I said, neither von Glöda nor Kolya were playing it straight. Everyone was in a no-win situation, as they say. I worked under SUPO’s instructions, and also von Glöda’s orders. The situation became impossible once I was put in charge of liaison with Kolya. He was always in and out of Helsinki. You turned up out of the blue, and my chiefs had to be told. I let you down, James. I shouldn’t have said anything.’ I somehow know less. quote:‘And what about the snow ploughs?’ How did this book start out better than the last two and end up making less sense? quote:‘Your place or mine?’ Bond asked as they reached the outskirts of Helsinki. He was almost satisfied with Paula’s answers, true, but a niggling doubt remained in a corner of his mind, for nothing in Operation Icebreaker had been what it seemed. Time now to play his trump card. So he....gave them to Paula to just stuff in a drawer? quote:Bond took the medals and threw them into the glove compartment. ‘Okay,’ he said, relieved. ‘You pass. Let’s give ourselves a treat. We’ll take the honeymoon suite at the Inter-Continental. How about that?’ How does that pass? quote:‘How about that?’ She squeezed his hand, running a finger across the palm. "There's clearly nothing left to take care of!" quote:She gave a dazzling smile and headed for the bathroom, lugging her one small overnight case.
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Mar 12, 2021 06:45
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The content is much more standard issue than the Great Ice-cream Hypnotism Caper, like any old airport thriller your dad would have read, but this plot is next-level convoluted. When Bond was working with not one but three enemy agents, I don't understand why they couldn't just take him out instead of putting on a bunch of murder mystery dinner theatre for him. I'm sure it's explained somewhere in there and my brain just turned off.
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Mar 12, 2021 12:12
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chitoryu12 posted:Chapter 19: Loose Ends Agreed. This is just collapsing around basic plot reality now. Awful, just awful. It’s like reading a spy thriller written by an AI, where everyone just starts being triple crossing jezebels
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Mar 13, 2021 02:52
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This didn't even have anything silly like mind control ice cream to make it a fun sort of bad. Here's hoping the next is more interesting in any way.
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Mar 13, 2021 11:07
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RIP Yaphet Kotto. I hope he flew up into the air and exploded.
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Mar 16, 2021 13:44
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May flights of compressed gas sing thee to thy rest.
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Mar 16, 2021 21:03
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Chapter 20: Destinyquote:James Bond dreamed. It was a dream he often experienced: sun, and a beach, which he recognised only too well as the seafront at Royale-les- Eaux. It was the five-mile promenade as it used to be, of course, not the garish package-tour resort it had since become. In Bond’s dream, life and time stood still, and this was the place he remembered from both childhood and his younger years. A band played. The tricolour beds of salvia, alyssum and lobelia bloomed in a riot of colour. And it was warm, and he was happy. And then she pulls out a gun and reveals she was a KGB triple-agent the whole time? quote:Before showering, Bond tapped out a call to London – a number reserved especially for taped messages from M. If there was anything new – in answer to the cipher sent from the Saab at Salla – he would hear it now. Sure enough, M’s voice was on the line: a brief double-talk message which came quite near to congratulating Bond, and also confirmed that Paula was known to be working for SUPO. There could, Bond thought, be no more surprises. Not like that would help, since even Tudeer was a legit Mossad agent and that whole shebang was compromised from the start. quote:Paula had taken the initiative, making love to him as a kind of hors d’oeuvre; then, after a short rest, during which Paula talked and laughed about their brush with disaster, Bond started where she had left off. Check, please. quote:Now there was peace, safety and warmth. Warmth, except for a cold spot developing on his neck, behind the ear. Still half asleep, Bond brushed at the cold spot. His hand came into contact with something hard, and vaguely unpleasant. His eyes snapped open and he felt the cold object pressed against his neck. Gone was Royale-les-Eaux, replaced with uncompromising reality.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sG1InNdCY0 This was a real variant of the Stechkin, the APB. It also came with a wire stock, as the heavy holster-stock of the standard APS was way too bulky for special forces use. According to Maxim Popenker of world.guns.ru, the heavy silencer reduces the otherwise substantial recoil of the gun and it would be much better if you could wrap some cloth around the silencer to use as a foregrip, which would make it handle much like a normal submachine gun. quote:‘How . . . ?’ Bond began. Then, thinking of Paula, he turned to see her sound asleep beside him. That's not unlike you! You slept in Blofeld's loving murder castle for two nights! You told Gala Brand and Vivienne Michel to take sedatives to help them sleep while under threat! quote:‘What kind of an injection?’ Trying not to sound concerned. "Take me," Mosolov said as he undid his coat. quote:Mosolov made a motion with the Stetchkin. ‘Get dressed. There’s a job I have to see completed. After that we’re going on a little journey. I even have a brand new passport for you – just to be certain. We leave Helsinki by car, then helicopter, and later there’ll be a jet waiting. By the time Paula can alert anyone, we’ll be well on our way.’ "And adding another few pages to this book." quote:‘Dead or alive, it would seem.’ Bond got to his feet. This plot is so bad that the villain is now having to explain the rest of it to Bond while they get dressed. quote:Bond grunted. Same. quote:‘Now, as I said, things have changed.’ Mosolov continued. ‘We wish simply to verify certain information. First we’ll do a chemical interrogation, to clean you out. Then we’ll have a nice little asset to exchange. You’ve got a couple of our people who’ve done sterling work at General Communications Headquarters in Cheltenham. In due course an exchange will be arranged, I’m sure.’ Now even Bond can't believe this poo poo. quote:‘Playing along with von Glöda’s wild schemes helped get rid of other small embarrassments.’ But...why are you doing it in this order? quote:‘What is the time?’ Bond asked. Did Kolya just loving forget what his job is? quote:‘You’re mad.’ Though he said it, Bond knew he was the one person whose presence could lure von Glöda. ‘How would you do it?’ This has just become a book where every character explains the plot to Bond until it ends. quote:‘No chance. You’ll never get away with it,’ Bond said aloud, though he knew there was every possibility of Mosolov getting away with it. This was the cool, audacious act which so often works. But Bond grasped at a straw. Mosolov had made one error – that of believing the Saab’s telephone required a base unit fitted to the main phone system. This would be a local call, and the electronics in the car had an operating range of around twenty-five miles. An error like this one was just what Bond needed. Note that no reason is given for Kolya believing this. Especially since the early 80s is a time when car phones are well established, to the point where the From Russia With Love movie 20 years before had one in Bond's Bentley. Scandinavia specifically had the Nordic Mobile Telephone (NMT) system operating at the time of writing, the first fully automated cellular phone system and a major step in the success of companies like Nokia. quote:‘So,’ Kolya hefted the Stetchkin in his hand, ‘just give me the car keys. We’ll go together. You can tell me how to get at the base unit.’ A full minute? quote:‘You’re right,’ Bond said at last, ‘I have no alternative. I resent coming to Moscow with you, Mosolov, but I am also anxious to see von Glöda out of the way. Getting the base unit’s a tricky business. There are various routines I have to go through with the locks to the hiding place, but you can have me covered all the time. I’m ready. Why don’t we do it now, straight away?’ This is only working because Kolya is as stupid as Bond. quote:All the way down the corridor, Mosolov stayed a good three paces behind Bond. In the lift, he remained in one corner – as far away as possible. The Russian was well-trained, no doubt about that. One move from Bond and the Stetchkin would make its muffled pop, leaving 007 with a gaping hole in his guts. They went down to the car park, heading for the Saab. About three paces from the car Bond turned. At this point I'm pretty sure if Bond tried anything Kolya would just spend a few minutes explaining why he needs to shoot Bond for doing that. quote:Almost casually, Bond pressed the square black button on the dashboard, while his left hand dropped into position. There was a tiny hiss of gas, as the hydraulics opened the hidden compartment. A second later the big Ruger Redhawk dropped into his left hand. I see the gore will never let up with Gardner. quote:But Bond saw none of that. The moment he fired, so his right hand slammed the door closed. The Redhawk went back into its compartment, and the key was fully twisted in the ignition. The Saab burst into life, and Bond’s hand moved with calm, expert confidence – pushing the button to close the compartment housing the Redhawk. He slid the gear lever into first, clipped on his inertia reel seatbelt, released the brake, and smoothly moved away as his fingers adjusted the hot air controls and the rear window heater. As he pulled away, Bond got the merest glimpse of what remained of the Russian: a small huddle on the ice, and a swelling pool of crimson. He swerved the car on to the Mannerheimintie, joining the sparse traffic heading for the Vantaa Airport road. And we'll hopefully be about done with this poo poo. quote:The airport was crowded, like any other international terminal, when Bond entered. He had parked the Saab in an easily accessible place, and now carried the awkward Ruger Redhawk inside his jacket, the long barrel pushed into the waistband of his trousers and twisted sideways. Never, the training schools taught, imitate the movies and shove a gun barrel straight down inside your trouser leg; always turn it to one side. If there should be an accident, straight down would mean losing part of your foot, if you were lucky. An unlucky man would lose what one instructor insisted on calling his ‘wedding tackle’ – a term Bond thought oddly vulgar. Twist the weapon sideways, by the butt, and you would get a burn, though the unfortunate person beside you would catch the bullet. Don't carry your revolver cocked then? quote:The big clock in International Departures stood at two minutes to eight-thirty. You're going to just call him to come to the desk and shoot him?! quote:Keeping behind as much cover as possible, Bond edged his way past the kiosks, trying to position himself near the passage on the extreme left of the complex which led to passport control and the air-side lounges. Like those terrorists in the last book who all entered a plane ramrod-straight and thus instantly looked suspicious? quote:He was surrounded by six men, all smartly dressed – each one of them looking like an ex-soldier. Mercenaries, perhaps? Von Glöda spoke to them in a low voice, punctuating his words with quick movements of the hands. It took Bond a second or two to realise the movements were similar to those of the late Adolf Hitler himself.  quote:The radio announcement system clicked and played its little warning jingle. They were about to announce the Paris flight, Bond was certain. Von Glöda cocked his head to listen, but he’d also apparently decided, before the jingle finished, that it was his flight. Solemnly he shook hands with each of his men in turn and looked around for his hand baggage. How does he have this luck? quote:Von Glöda turned fully. Both he and Bond must have spotted the figure, standing by the Information Desk, at roughly the same moment – Hans Buchtman, whom Bond had first known as Brad Tirpitz. As their eyes met, so Buchtman moved towards Bond, his mouth opening, words floating, lost in the general noise and bustle. You are not going to loving believe why this is happening. quote:The whole scene appeared to be frozen for a split second. Then von Glöda said something to his companions. They began to scatter as von Glöda grabbed for his cabin baggage and started to move quickly from the coffee shop. Yeah. quote:I’ll bet you do, Bond thought, as he hauled on the Redhawk, closing towards von Glöda who was crossing in front of him, moving rapidly. There was no stopping Bond now. ‘Halt, Tudeer!’ he shouted. ‘You’ll never make the flight. Stop now!’ The lovely 80s airport security. quote:Bond still hauled on the Redhawk, which would not come free from his waistband. Again he shouted, glancing back to see that Buchtman was bearing down on him from behind, thrusting people out of his path. In the midst of the panic erupting around him, Bond heard von Glöda shouting hysterically as he turned full on towards Bond. Jesus, Gardner! quote:It was only now that pain began to overtake Bond. He felt very tired. Someone held his shoulders. There was a lot of noise. Then a voice: ‘Couldn’t be helped, Jimmy. You got the bastard. All over now. They’ve sent for an ambulance. You’ll be okay.’
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Mar 19, 2021 05:40
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I assume this will be Good Bad Brad instead of Bad Bad Brad. This is farcical even by 007 standards.
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Mar 19, 2021 06:07
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This book delivers more "Huh?"s per minute... It had a decently promising start, too.
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Mar 19, 2021 06:29
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Midjack posted:I assume this will be Good Bad Brad instead of Bad Bad Brad. This is farcical even by 007 standards. It's going to turn out that every single one of von Gloda's lieutenants was a spy from some agency or other, isn't it? The Man Who Was Donnerstag.
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Mar 19, 2021 09:28
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It’s dumber than your guesses.
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Mar 19, 2021 19:29
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It was George Smiley in the conservatory with the rope
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Mar 19, 2021 19:44
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chitoryu12 posted:It’s dumber than your guesses. He accidentally got mixed up with a location shoot for a James Bond movie?
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Mar 19, 2021 22:48
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