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Cloner of the Elks
Jul 2, 2006




Szyznyk posted:

If you need me to go to World Market to get you Tim Tams and brown sauce, let me know.

gently caress off to Australia mate, we eat Penguins not Tim Tams. And yes, our penguin jokes are the funniest

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Shut up Meg
Jan 8, 2019

You're safe here.


Rocket Baby Dolls posted:

My children dont live with me and I work in a distribution centre for a supermarket. I'm not allowed to see my children for at least three weeks, I'm gutted! I'm trying to be sensible about it, it's for their own health and safety but it's still going to be tough to not even get to hug my kids.
My heart cracked a little for you, but always remember that it is temporary and it is for their health. A sacrifice you have to make but one that is worth it.

Rocket Baby Dolls posted:

I can take paid isolation from work if I want too but stiff upper lip and all that shite.
gently caress that, Tesco can survive without you and if I means I can't buy quinoia for a little longer, tough poo poo for me.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


oi bruv

redreader
Nov 2, 2009

I am the coolest person ever with my pirate chalice. Seriously.



Dinosaur Gum

Gregg's is fine. When I was on minimum wage it was all I could afford. It was about 1/3rd the price of Starbucks, or less, and I could get a latte and a breakfast doughnut or pie.

I went to the southfields one every day and when I came back from work, mad John the pirate would be frightening people while shirtless.

Shut up Meg
Jan 8, 2019

You're safe here.


https://twitter.com/SportsDirectUK/...249511151509506

https://twitter.com/GMB/status/1242359008708747271

https://twitter.com/tamcohen/status/1242361684607545346

razamataza
Jan 2, 2006


Benny Harvey
Nov 24, 2012
WORST OF ALL THE BENNYS

Dell_Zincht posted:

If an M&S has a food hall (and most of them do) then they won't be closing

Thank gently caress. Sourdough and manchego for all!

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008



Grimey Drawer

If I was confined to my home with a hot water bottle I'd eventually gently caress the hot water bottle. Not even joking.

Dell_Zincht
Nov 5, 2003

lEt'S mOsEy





Thank gently caress Disney+ has launched in the UK today. Lots of people gnashing their teeth on Facebook about Frozen II not being on it which is funny.

Weka
May 5, 2019

And if you gaze long into an abyss, you will say `look, no ring.`

My Shoes posted:

come on the game goes on for like 10 seconds at a time.


Soccer has more continuous play.


and check out rugby sometime for that matter. American football players only run like a mile per game and only play an average of 11 minutes rugby players play for a full 80 minutes.

What? Somebody please explain this to me even if it is an exaggeration.

Sekenr
Dec 12, 2013




Weka posted:

What? Somebody please explain this to me even if it is an exaggeration.

I think he means that American football constantly stops to move flags, gently caress around and get back in positions, so players spend very little time actually playing.

cnut
May 3, 2016


I say, lock up all the wankers and bellends in The Clink!

LordArgh
Mar 17, 2009



Nap Ghost

this seems a bit late, mates

TacticalNecromancy
May 25, 2015



Grimey Drawer

Sekenr posted:

I think he means that American football constantly stops to move flags, gently caress around and get back in positions, so players spend very little time actually playing.

I think they're mandated an hour of 'Gameplay' so the remainder of the four hour block is an hour of replays to make it look like things are happening and then a solid 2 hours of advertisements because it's not like the viewers are going anywhere.

Barudak
May 7, 2007



Weka posted:

What? Somebody please explain this to me even if it is an exaggeration.

I love american football, but it is mathematically accurate. While the overall gameclock is an hour, the ball not need be actively in play in order to count down, so in a given hour long match theres usually around 11 minutes of "game time". The overall runtime of a match is approximately 3 hours by the by.

With everyone in lockdown stuck at home, why not learn a sport that will really fill the time?

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015



Barudak posted:

I love american football, but it is mathematically accurate. While the overall gameclock is an hour, the ball not need be actively in play in order to count down, so in a given hour long match theres usually around 11 minutes of "game time". The overall runtime of a match is approximately 3 hours by the by.

With everyone in lockdown stuck at home, why not learn a sport that will really fill the time?

Fuckin' lol and theres people coming in here saying that American Football is the better one.

Captain_Indigo
Jul 29, 2007

Smooth soft red velvety lungs.

Lolling at all my teacher coworkers who won't shut the gently caress up about how different things will be for us in terms of respect and pay and dignity when this winds down and everyone remembers our epic sacrifice.

Fatkraken
Jun 23, 2005

Fun-time is over.

Barudak posted:

I love american football, but it is mathematically accurate. While the overall gameclock is an hour, the ball not need be actively in play in order to count down, so in a given hour long match theres usually around 11 minutes of "game time". The overall runtime of a match is approximately 3 hours by the by.

With everyone in lockdown stuck at home, why not learn a sport that will really fill the time?

cricket

hallelujah
Jan 26, 2020

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN


with the colonists locked indoors, the swans will retake the land

Rocket Baby Dolls
Mar 3, 2006

Normally I don't make aesthetic criticisms in other peoples' homes, but that rug looks like a beaver exploded. If meat is murder, then that rug is at least a severe beating.

I start work in half an hour, we've had a large number of agency workers arrive these past few days. At the end of last week there were eighteen people self isolating, at least two more went home early yesterday to do the same after expressing concerns. There are two people off with symptoms, but they're both work shy bastards who have used any excuse to have time off work over the last decade so I'm taking those two with a big pinch of salt.

One saving grace is that my girlfriend works where I do and on the same shift, as we are both exposed at work we can still hang out together outside of work (indoors.)

I'm getting to see my youngest daughter tomorrow as it's my day off. I've agreed with her mother to have a full day with her before she goes into lockdown.

We've just got to work, we've been told to stay in our vehicle until we are told that we are allowed into the building.

secret clubhouse NO GIRLS
Mar 24, 2005

It's a Time Machine you Tuss!


Fun Shoe

Rural Cornwall.... all the disease ridden middle classes have come pouring down here from the cities. Tourist spots heaving with twats.

Our infrastructure was already hosed. If I see a Halfords roof suitcase there’ll be words!

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007



I have been self-isolating with my no de-facto girlfriend since 13th of March only going out for groceries twice and once to the pharmacy to get her asthma meds but hearing all these people still going out and partying or being shoulder to shoulder in Columbia Flower market made me all

I'm not sure being in lockdown in London is better or worse than, let's say, somewhere up in rural north like my friend. Clearly it's the center of the disease and will be hit hardest when the galaxy brain idea of "herd immunity" unveils a new wave of cases and they have to eventually properly lockdown instead of "no more jogging TWICE a day" garbage. On the bright side, there are many markets and delivery options up in here instead of having like literally one market serving a town or something like that.

I dunno, man, the weather is beautiful outside and I don't think "oi, you got a license for walking m8?" isn't gonna cut it when it comes to preventing Londoners, being the colossal twats they are, going out.

My Shoes
Jul 23, 2019
Probation
Can't post for 27 days!


Sekenr posted:

I think he means that American football constantly stops to move flags, gently caress around and get back in positions, so players spend very little time actually playing.

and its true.

also im a girl for the 10,001 time.


Chrs posted:

Fuckin' lol and theres people coming in here saying that American Football is the better one.

exactly.

My Shoes fucked around with this message at 13:51 on Mar 24, 2020

Shut up Meg
Jan 8, 2019

You're safe here.


Rocket Baby Dolls posted:

I'm getting to see my youngest daughter tomorrow as it's my day off. I've agreed with her mother to have a full day with her before she goes into lockdown.

That's the happiest news I have heard all day.

Fatkraken
Jun 23, 2005

Fun-time is over.

Galewolf posted:

I have been self-isolating with my no de-facto girlfriend since 13th of March only going out for groceries twice and once to the pharmacy to get her asthma meds but hearing all these people still going out and partying or being shoulder to shoulder in Columbia Flower market made me all

I'm not sure being in lockdown in London is better or worse than, let's say, somewhere up in rural north like my friend. Clearly it's the center of the disease and will be hit hardest when the galaxy brain idea of "herd immunity" unveils a new wave of cases and they have to eventually properly lockdown instead of "no more jogging TWICE a day" garbage. On the bright side, there are many markets and delivery options up in here instead of having like literally one market serving a town or something like that.

I dunno, man, the weather is beautiful outside and I don't think "oi, you got a license for walking m8?" isn't gonna cut it when it comes to preventing Londoners, being the colossal twats they are, going out.

rural is way better in terms of wellbeing, I can go for a run without going past more than a small handful of people at the proper distance, probably the equivalent of 5 seconds in a shop in terms of exposure risk

Weka
May 5, 2019

And if you gaze long into an abyss, you will say `look, no ring.`

Barudak posted:

I love american football, but it is mathematically accurate. While the overall gameclock is an hour, the ball not need be actively in play in order to count down, so in a given hour long match theres usually around 11 minutes of "game time". The overall runtime of a match is approximately 3 hours by the by.

With everyone in lockdown stuck at home, why not learn a sport that will really fill the time?

Thanks for this explanation I felt like it must be an exaggeration but I have learned never to underestimate America.

kecske
Feb 28, 2011






Soiled Meat

https://twitter.com/YesMissMurphy/s...ingawful.com%2F

My Shoes
Jul 23, 2019
Probation
Can't post for 27 days!


Weka posted:

Thanks for this explanation I felt like it must be an exaggeration but I have learned never to underestimate America.

and now bow to my superiority

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007



Fatkraken posted:

rural is way better in terms of wellbeing, I can go for a run without going past more than a small handful of people at the proper distance, probably the equivalent of 5 seconds in a shop in terms of exposure risk

Yeah, I imagine being in rural areas would be better for our mental health and overall health (luckily we have a small garden, enough to do bodyweight exercises "outside") but I guess that's the price we pay for the exclusive privilege of paying six pounds a pint before this.

Shut up Meg
Jan 8, 2019

You're safe here.


https://twitter.com/FoleshillWMP/st...460673914912770

Clark Nova
Jul 17, 2004



Fallen Rib

lol committing police brutality on a charcoal grill

Sodium Chloride
Dec 31, 2007




Happy to die/kill other people for a nice day out. That's boomer logic for you.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat



Lmfao

iTrust
Mar 25, 2010

It's not good for your health.




lmao

Who else is living the dream and working from home?

By living the dream I mean this is awful I wish I was one of those pieces of poo poo willing to leave the house again but no instead I do what the Government tells me to do.

Also when I sit here being lucky enough to work from home when countless others aren't able to see their kids or haven't got a job anymore, and yet I moan about it anyway, I feel pretty bad.

But I'm British so if there's something to complain or moan about you better believe I'm going to.

My Shoes
Jul 23, 2019
Probation
Can't post for 27 days!


omg lol

Whorelord
May 1, 2013

Jump into the well...


i live in the country and someone actually pulled over in their car while i was out for a run to ask me if this was my first run of the day lmao

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon


lmbo

Jose
Jul 24, 2007



Lol so much for a lock down if you aren't able to work from home and aren't off sick it's business as usual so that's me working in a building with hundreds of others until I get seriously ill

Catsplosion
Aug 19, 2007

I am become Dwarf, the destroyer of cats.


Noblesse Obliged posted:

You can still hunt foxes though right?

I'm sure that counts as exercise.

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Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

CHU-CHU-CHUCKLEVISION
CHU-CHUCKLEVISION




time to take a big swig of coffee and see what the GBS goons have to say about the uk

i have now swallowed my coffee, because nothing was even remotely funny enough to make me do a spit take

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