Thinking of using castle doctrine and a longbow to defend by balcony

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Escape From Noise

from my neighbor in the neighboring house. Their yard is right under my balcony. Recently the parents started yelling at me for cranking up the tunes and ripping on a fat blunt (legal in my state) outside while the kids were out there playing. Just like, really harshing my mellow, you know? So I've ordered a long bow in order to defend my rights. I have a pretty decent stash and a lot of snack so I'm pretty much ready for a siege if it comes down to that. Thinking I maybe should also invest in a small catapult as well though.

# ? Mar 30, 2020 15:31

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 12:04

biosterous

given your tactical location (above) you might want to look into some gravity-assisted weapons too. have you tried getting a stash of really big rocks, or maybe some frozen turkeys?

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he/him

# ? Mar 30, 2020 16:04

alexandriao

biosterous posted:

given your tactical location (above) you might want to look into some gravity-assisted weapons too. have you tried getting a stash of really big rocks, or maybe some frozen turkeys?

A favourite is boiling oil, which is probably super unsafe but you could probably use regular baby oil too and just throw it at them.

# ? Mar 30, 2020 16:11

Heather Papps: hello friend

i learned how to make a tiny trebuchet in shop class as a teen and my biggest lesson has to be DO NOT PARTNER WITH CHARLES he is a mean bully

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Mar 30, 2020 16:26

nut

8 years of grad school so that I can *maybe* shoot someone? no thanks

# ? Mar 30, 2020 17:44

poverty goat

Try skirmishing with water balloons first. Play your cards right and you might sway the kids to your side with a good shot on angry mom.

# ? Mar 30, 2020 20:21

wearing a lampshade

Asking my neighbours "how doth thine battlements fare?"

# ? Mar 31, 2020 03:33

wearing a lampshade

Pinning my heraldic flag on the community board, next to the covid-19 notice.

# ? Mar 31, 2020 03:36

Twenty Four

albany academy posted:

Asking my neighbours "how doth thine battlements fare?"

lol

# ? Mar 31, 2020 09:52

Escape From Noise

poverty goat posted:

Try skirmishing with water balloons first. Play your cards right and you might sway the kids to your side with a good shot on angry mom.

Sorry but this is not period

# ? Mar 31, 2020 10:00

alnilam

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

Sorry but this is not period

okay fine then fill the balloons with blue fluid

_{ty manifisto}

# ? Mar 31, 2020 16:56

Twenty Four

alnilam posted:

okay fine then fill the balloons with blue fluid

Defeating your neighbor by bringing over a bottle of blue fluid because you knew it was that "time if the month" for his wife and he had no clue.

His jaw drops. *Thinking of chess castle doctrine* "Checkmate"

# ? Mar 31, 2020 17:06

magic cactus: We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

Twenty Four posted:

Defeating your neighbor by bringing over a bottle of blue fluid because you knew it was that "time if the month" for his wife and he had no clue.

His jaw drops. *Thinking of chess castle doctrine* "Checkmate"

i think that's called castling and if you do that you're now legally bound to swap living spaces with your neighbor

Thanks to Saoshyant for the amazing spring '23 sig!

# ? Mar 31, 2020 18:44

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

longbows require years of training and are p dumb anyway. get a crossbow instead

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# ? Apr 4, 2020 00:03

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

but the key to survival is expanding ur realm. any unmarried next-in-line peeps in the neighbourhood?

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# ? Apr 4, 2020 00:05

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

Nosfereefer posted:

but the key to survival is expanding ur realm. any unmarried next-in-line peeps in the neighbourhood?

Crusader Kings 2: Neighborhood Edition

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Apr 4, 2020 02:22

Escape From Noise

Nosfereefer posted:

longbows require years of training and are p dumb anyway. get a crossbow instead

The gently caress, bro? You tryin' to say I miss arm day???

# ? Apr 4, 2020 05:54

idiotsavant

make sure you have a ladder pole, or at least a good broom or mop or somethjng to knock assault ladders off your parapet. another good trick to use on attackers is a big box of tarantulas, or a loosely wrapped hornets nest that you can heave into their midst

# ? Apr 4, 2020 06:06

alexandriao

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

Sorry but this is not period

Ugh FINE. We can use fresh goat intestines filled with water.

# ? Apr 6, 2020 04:42

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

get the popes blessing to invade your protestant neighbours

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# ? Apr 6, 2020 19:35

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

locking the gates for the duration of the plague. it is safer this way, even if the cat scratching on the door is somewhat unsettling

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# ? Apr 6, 2020 19:38

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Mister Rogers never went medieval on anyone's rear end so I'm at a loss for advice, sorry :shrug:

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Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Apr 6, 2020 19:49

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 12:04

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

Mister Rogers never went medieval on anyone's rear end so I'm at a loss for advice, sorry

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# ? Apr 6, 2020 20:05

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Thinking of using castle doctrine and a longbow to defend by balcony