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Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK





It looks like a scat fetishist caused a size queen and a dude with a dick so big it causes typos to find love on Twitter. It brings a tear to the eye.

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Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




It is very, very, very important that I be able to post the poo poo you asked me not to post in this thread right here in this very thread instead of one of the thousand other threads that exist exactly for that kind of content.

You’re going to drive the bird into retirement by sitting screaming in the middle of a room filled with toys because she took away your dirty old pink binky, and you’re going to get stuck with someone like that absolute garbage crab mod.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK





Speaking of humiliation fetishes...

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




Inceltown posted:

Sweet, I thought it was just that single post. Now it makes a lot more sense.

Also that gadsden flag thing has been doing the rounds of cspam for a bit and it will never stop being funny.

Has anyone said Gaspin’ Flag, yet?

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




Inceltown posted:

Not that I've seen so feel free to accept this as official acknowledgement of A Good Post™

Ah, excellent. I have a shelf I’ve been keeping clean for just this purpose.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




I would like to announce today that I am rejecting a potential $340 million in lottery winnings. Not that I would ever actually win the lottery. I just want everyone to know I’m rejecting the money.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK





Loling at all the people inflating their losses by a minimum of 10x. Lots of people with million-dollar Tesla holdings taking time out of their busy business lives full of business to tweet at their messiah.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK





One of the most surprising things about the 21st century is that women keep letting Elon Musk gently caress them.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




there wolf posted:

The US Consumer Product Safety Commission has a twitter and it sure is... something.

https://twitter.com/USCPSC/status/1258940452067254274
https://twitter.com/USCPSC/status/1258973344239665152
https://twitter.com/USCPSC/status/1258020945647800320

If someone wants to show me the clues that it's all a fake, my sense of the world as a logical place would appreciate it.

I’m confused, because these tweets are good.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




Phy posted:

There
Out in the front side
A customer fuming
Fallen from God
Mouth full of grease
God be my witness
I never shall yield
Till I punch in his face
Till I punch in his face

He wants his wee runny yolk
Mine is the way of eggs, hard
And those who follow the path of the hard-boiled
Shall have their reward
And if you deign, to complain, to the chef
Then fiiight, en garde

Eggs
In your multitudes
Scarce to be counted
Filling our breakfasts
With yellow and white
You are the omelettes
Scrambled and fried
Filling our bellies tight
Filling our bellies tight

You know your place on the plate
You are of course a grade A
And each with your flavor return and return
And are always the same
And if you fall, as Sir Humpty fell,
You crack, and breeeaak

And so it must be! For so it is written!
On the doorways to Wafflehouse
That those who order a runny egg
Will shame their spouse!

Lord, let me find him!
That I might kick him
With both my legs!
I will never rest, till then! This I swear!
THIS I SWEAR BY MY EGGS!

This is good. I can see myself singing this.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




there wolf posted:

You mean you didn't sing it and every other one in your head as you read them?

I’m just waking up, my voice is still cracking.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




Darkhold posted:

https://twitter.com/PronouncedAlva/...830224733949953
What makes you think you can pronounce your own name?

You see, Irish, unlike every other language which has ever spread beyond the walls of a single village, has no regional variations in pronunciation.

I feel like someone who studied Irish “for years” would know that even the spelling of the language wasn’t given an official standard until the late 1950s, with the publication of An Caighdeán. An Caighdeán is only for written Irish and does not address pronunciation. I don’t think the regional dialects were even always mutually intelligible not that long ago.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




Mikl posted:

But only if it has a mosquito in it.

Like this one?

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




The tipped minimum wage was set to $2.13 federally almost thirty years ago, and is still $2.13 in ten or twelve states. They are mostly chud states, of course.

There used to be several states with $10 and $12 minimum wages for tipped employees, but obviously all of the restaurants and bars in those states went immediately out of business, destroying wealth and cratering their economies.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




bhangraton posted:



What noble savages

I am always curious when I see things like that. Did they actually read a book or go to an academic talk where someone advanced that as a serious idea, or did they just wake up one day, think that up, and decide it sounded right?

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




letthereberock posted:

It’s a weird comparison maybe - but GLs behavior reminds me of that guy 15 years ago who decided to make it his life’s goal to ruin a dry cleaning business after they lost his pants. He went so far with it he ended up ruining his own life, it’s a fascinating story.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pearson_v._Chung

There seems to be this condition some people get where some small, random perceived offense against them causes them to snap to a point where they can’t think about anything else.

Instead of going over why Gahan Linebarger is a shithead for the ten millionth time, everyone should be reading this story. It’s nuts. Pay special attention to the part where they offer him $12,000 for his pants, and he says no.

Also, except for the dry cleaners, literally everyone in the story is a lawyer. The presiding judge is a lawyer. The pants guy is a lawyer, and a judge. The wife he is in the process of divorcing while this is going on is a lawyer. Her lawyer is a lawyer. It’s lawyers all the way down.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




One More Fat Nerd posted:

It reminds me of the case where the lady decided her kid's teacher had insulted her child so she and her (literal, actual, cuck) husband planted a huge amount of weed in the teachers car and called the cops. This turned around on her and blew up: her marriage, her relationship with her fireman boyfriend, and her husbands very successful business. P. Sure both her and her husband are in jail now.

A few additional notes:

She wrote self insert crazy overblown revenge fiction for years before this, like, more than one story.

The teacher's great insult was telling the mom that the kid was sometimes a little slow when getting on/off the bus.

Yes, that one was also completely insane. I think that one only wrapped up a handful of years ago by my old-man reckoning. Holy poo poo, what utter scumpigs. As I recall, the woman remained completely unapologetic, and when we learn more about her, it becomes clear she is a legitimate psychopath.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




OwlFancier posted:

Sounds to me like the kid has found his passion in life and the dad is gonna have to sell the shower to stop him.

It’s like the kid who was wrecking his penis with Olympic-level sounding, and refusing to let little things like having to traipse down to the emergency room with a shredded dong separate him from his passion.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




A lot of people seem hung up on the cowardice angle, but that’s got nothing to do with it. White people don’t get as angry as minorities when the cops kill one of their own because the cops who kill the white people are mostly also white people, there isn’t a pattern of cops killing white people out of proportion to their numbers during what should be routine encounters, and the cops who kill white people are at least sometimes arrested for it without the white people having to burn down all the businesses in their suburbs.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK





This comic is depressingly evergreen.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




Mak0rz posted:

I will never forgive antique toaster reviewer Technology Connections for turning his back to the great nation of America

https://twitter.com/PhillipJ_Roman/...587952701575168





Technology Connections is adorable and informative. The only thing he is a traitor to is mumbly, low-energy Youtube review channels.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




Manuel Calavera posted:

RevScarecrow also makes really good content. He's just so jaded from years of working at some game store, probably GameStop.

Hi, Manny. I don’t think I’ve heard of that person. I’ll check him out, but I don’t know how high my jadedness tolerance is, right now. Thanks for the suggestion.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK





Worth it at any price.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




Skwirl posted:

Don't you have to first convince someone to date or marry you before you can be cucked?

No, you can have unrequited cucking. Expect to see this become the primary form of the romantic comedy once Hugh Grant has died.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK





[Fields a crew of mercenaries, each wearing a helmet, jackboots, and a bullet-resistant vest, carrying a riot shield, a can of mace, a Taser, a full pistol, forty-eight additional round of ammunition, two pairs of handcuffs and a baton] “This... this is what peace looks like. Some of those protesters had hammers!”

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK





Did he hate Claudio Patino? Is that why he got such an outrageously lovely tattoo with the man's name on it?

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




oldpainless posted:

Our house was burglarized while we were out for the day and I called the cops and 2 showed up. One a regular cop and the other dude was the fingerprint guy. The regular cop was like “yeah this sucks when it happens” and recommended a stronger lock for the door. The fingerprint guy was like “this will take like two hours and we often don’t get a good match still want me to do it?” And I said “yes please check for prints” and he repeated the argument twice more cuz maybe it was quitting time? Anyway we got assigned a detective who said “robbers usually just pawn the dvds and jewelry at the nearest store I’ll go check” and he found about 70% of what was stolen thanks for reading my cop story

I am 100% certain that I have read this exact story on these very forums, yet police suck so badly and so consistently that I cannot be sure whether you’ve posted this before, or if this is just the universal experience for people who need help from the police after break-ins.

I suppose it could be both.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK





There is no proof of the female orgasm, yet their app is the best at detecting the female orgasm? I am confused. Maybe they mean there's no proof of any individual occurrence of a female orgasm, because they seem concerned about women faking.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

Some protestors tore down a statue of a colonial governor who

1) never actually spent time in the country
2) was an absolute shithead

The statue was erected less than 10 years ago by a local businessman and nobody had even really heard of the governor before then. The statue was not a museum to the horrors of colonialism, it was just a statue in the middle of town.

My meth-head cousin who usually stays off social media has taken massive umbrage at this and has been posting poo poo like this for days now.



Your cousin actually has a really good point here, and I fully support it. Let’s let black people decide which Confederate monuments should stay up. Likewise, let’s let the natives of colonized lands decide which of their colonizers’ keepsakes to preserve.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK





Odd how these imaginary black people are so important that the country literally cannot function without them, but real black people going to school in buildings with no plumbing and being murdered by the police are a whole bunch of nothing.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK





Lol, I genuinely thought this was positive coverage of how the protestors were bringing the power until I noticed who it was from.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK





quote:

Stephen Herrero, a Canadian biologist, reports that during the 1990s, bears killed around three people a year in the U.S. and Canada

Washington Post posted:

Police in the US have shot and killed more than 5,000 people since 2015

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK





“That’s not a real target, and you’ve put there yourself.”

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK





I thought it was a baby giraffe that had just hatched from its egg. I guess it’s something a little bit less believable, like a tampon.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




Mak0rz posted:

Yes, and shamefully I do it all the loving time

Every time.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




ultrafilter posted:

Shatner's in his late 80s, so maybe we can just wait this one out.

I’ve pointed this out before, but Shatner is only a month younger than James Dean. He’s about to turn 90. James Dean is this mythical giant of Hollywood. It feels like he lived and acted in another timeline, one that barely intersects with ours. Shatner, on the other hand, has always been here. He’s had a couple of lulls, but he’s been otherwise a constant presence on our televisions and in our movies. The gulf between them seems uncrossable, but they were actually contemporaries.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




“It’s a coincidence, but let’s keep an eye on this poo poo.”

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




Push El Burrito posted:

We do. At the end of every month I piss blood for a week.

Do women not know about this?

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK





Is this going to be a free-for-all, or is there going to be a bunch of big government overreach forcing me to fill out paperwork and get permits and poo poo?

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Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




PetraCore posted:

Yeah you can't uncarve a mountain, but I believe the stolen land should be returned to the Lakota Sioux and aid should be given to help them restore the mountains however they wish, given that resources are already stretched fairly thin in their community.

The Road to Omaha is a (hilarious, in my opinion; prepare yourself for some stereotypes that wouldn't fly today, though) novel about General MacKenzie "Madman Mac the Hawk" Hawkins digging up a suppressed treaty ceding all the land belonging to SAC to a native tribe. It's the semi-sequel to The Road to Gandolfo, where the same main character kidnaps the pope and replaces him with his not-very-bright opera-singing doppelganger cousin.

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