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Dr. VooDoo
May 4, 2006




paragon1 posted:

Oh yeah the Wizengamot kangaroo court is hosed up. Yeah just have parliament put me on trial, gently caress it. Let's just insist the defendant is an incredible liar and send them to hell prison instead of using one of the thirty truth telling spells or potions we have in the back.

The best part is, I’m sure unintentionally by the author, all the low level wizards are assumed they willing went along with Voldemort (again based on ideology created by the governing power themselves) get sent to a prison to have their soul ripped out/driven mad by sadness but all the upper class wizards like Draco’s dad claim Voldemort used a mind control curse on them and got off without any punishment despite having the power to see who actually was and was not mind controlled. The government of wizards is more concerned with upholding a class power structure than having genocidal wizard fascists punished for their crimes

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W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010


They'll never see it coming...


reignofevil posted:

My favorite harry potter book is the fifth one which tends to be people's least favorite because Harry spends all of his time brooding and yelling at people because they are being shits to him but it also contains some of my favorite scenes like the one where Harry discovers cold tea has been left at his doorstep by his dickweed cousin Dudley Dursley and he thinks so little of him and is so used to being put down upon in the relationship that he spends time mulling over whether his cousin is legitimately dumb enough to believe that the cold tea left on the floor in front of Harry's doorway was some kind of trap to cut his foot when he stepped on it. Only later does he realize that after saving his cousin from getting soul-sucked that now Dudley is trying to make a peace offering in his own cowardly way.

That scene was from the seventh book, not the fifth book.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


W.T. Fits posted:

That scene was from the seventh book, not the fifth book.

poo poo. Well then. I was actually reaching through my memories to see if it was the fifth or the sixth but actually I was wrong on all counts gently caress.

W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010


They'll never see it coming...


That said, the fifth book does have that scene near the beginning after Dudley and Harry were almost soul-sucked where he's sitting in the kitchen with his aunt, uncle and cousin, and explaining what happened, and he's weirded out by the cognitive dissonance of his aunt actually knowing what the gently caress he's talking about and actually being able to have a semi-normal conversation with them about it.

W.T. Fits fucked around with this message at 21:30 on Apr 14, 2020

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


Dr. VooDoo posted:

The best part is, I’m sure unintentionally by the author, all the low level wizards are assumed they willing went along with Voldemort (again based on ideology created by the governing power themselves) get sent to a prison to have their soul ripped out/driven mad by sadness but all the upper class wizards like Draco’s dad claim Voldemort used a mind control curse on them and got off without any punishment despite having the power to see who actually was and was not mind controlled. The government of wizards is more concerned with upholding a class power structure than having genocidal wizard fascists punished for their crimes

Draco's dad is the best character in the movies incidentally. He is about the only guy I believe knows magic.

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009






Buglord

Dr. VooDoo posted:

The best part is, I’m sure unintentionally by the author, all the low level wizards are assumed they willing went along with Voldemort (again based on ideology created by the governing power themselves) get sent to a prison to have their soul ripped out/driven mad by sadness but all the upper class wizards like Draco’s dad claim Voldemort used a mind control curse on them and got off without any punishment despite having the power to see who actually was and was not mind controlled. The government of wizards is more concerned with upholding a class power structure than having genocidal wizard fascists punished for their crimes

just lmao

at least when jkr dies maybe someone can make The Last Wizard about this poo poo in 50 years.

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

I bet the wizarding world takes important jobs away from honest working people by having dementors staff the dick-sucking factory

Pick
Jul 19, 2009



Nap Ghost

I was super into the first three books but only read the forth once. Then I was like"this sucks". For the rest I just made my mom read them and summarize them for me

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


"Nobody's talking to Harry"

"But why mom? He killed voldemort three times already"

"Yeah I dunno. They won't tell him."

Roth
Jul 9, 2016


Sleeveless posted:

Complaining that the politics of the wizarding world are impractical and the rules for their magic are inconsistent is like complaining that Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory doesn't follow OSHA regulations and Matilda's psychic powers don't follow the laws of thermodynamics.

I think this is fine for the first few books which are definitely more in the realm of children's book, but starting with Goblet of Fire there is definitely a tonal shift towards young adult fiction.

PeterWeller
Apr 20, 2003

I told you that story so I could tell you this one.


Dr. VooDoo posted:

The best part is, I’m sure unintentionally by the author, all the low level wizards are assumed they willing went along with Voldemort (again based on ideology created by the governing power themselves) get sent to a prison to have their soul ripped out/driven mad by sadness but all the upper class wizards like Draco’s dad claim Voldemort used a mind control curse on them and got off without any punishment despite having the power to see who actually was and was not mind controlled. The government of wizards is more concerned with upholding a class power structure than having genocidal wizard fascists punished for their crimes

Nah, the class disparity stuff is so prevalent throughout the novels that it's clearly intentional. I'm pretty sure the entire reason the Malfoys are wealthy is to make the point that their wealth secures their place in society despite being obviously unrepentant wizard fascists.

Angepain
Jul 13, 2012

what keeps happening to my clothes


as a resident of the fine city of Edinburgh I have to resent Harry Potter just for the extra layer of tourist bullshit it has brought upon us

this city had more than enough made up tourist bullshit already, it did not need twenty places declaring themselves intrinsic to the tale of the boy wizard because jk rolling sneezed in its vicinity while thinking about Quidditch

also stop rubbing the nose of the dog statue nobody did that until some tour guide made it up in like 2012 or so. that's nothing to do with harry potter though

Pick
Jul 19, 2009



Nap Ghost

hagrid got in trouble for raising a litter of werewolves under his bed as a student

in the HP series, canonically, werewolves are human beings

Roth
Jul 9, 2016


https://twitter.com/kittynouveau/st...930470835589120

dordreff
Jul 16, 2013


Pick posted:

hagrid got in trouble for raising a litter of werewolves under his bed as a student

in the HP series, canonically, werewolves are human beings

I think the official explanation to try to make that less hosed up was that werewolves sometimes have puppies with normal wolves and that's what he was raising, because bestiality is much more appropriate

Pick
Jul 19, 2009



Nap Ghost


wtf lmao

ungulateman
Apr 18, 2012
Hello I am a person doing a thing via buttons. It's amazing what electronic singnals traveling through space can accomplish.

Makes ya think.

Purple m&ms are the best.

weren't the werewolf cubs just one of the many stupid rumours used to justify expelling hagrid?

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug


JethroMcB
Jan 23, 2004

We're normal now.
We love your family.


the books are pretty good light hero's journey stuff, the movies suck an incredible amount of poo poo*, and it's fun to watch another fanbase currently experience their own slow-motion car crash Prequels moment.

(*They don't even show the Department of Mysteries stuff in OotP, and they way they changed Sirius' death made it infinitely worse. So many of the changes seem to have been born from a "People who haven't read the books need to understand what's happening and why" kind of mentality, but I don't think anybody who only watched the movies would understand what the hell is happening at the end of Deathly Hallows.)


Ravenclaw Toddlers is going to be Warner Bros.' response to Baby Einstein

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW


Grimey Drawer

Those adaptations were pretty much always going to be doomed by the ballooning word count.

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


JethroMcB posted:

the books are pretty good light hero's journey stuff, the movies suck an incredible amount of poo poo*, and it's fun to watch another fanbase currently experience their own slow-motion car crash Prequels moment.

(*They don't even show the Department of Mysteries stuff in OotP, and they way they changed Sirius' death made it infinitely worse. So many of the changes seem to have been born from a "People who haven't read the books need to understand what's happening and why" kind of mentality, but I don't think anybody who only watched the movies would understand what the hell is happening at the end of Deathly Hallows.)


Ravenclaw Toddlers is going to be Warner Bros.' response to Baby Einstein

I struggle to think of any fantasy movie series or movie series generally that is less coherent or consistent than the Harry Potter films. The move from Chris Columbus to other directors also badly exposed the production quality of the Columbus movies. Going from Columbus to Alfonso Cuarón was like night and day.

josh04
Oct 19, 2008

oscar winning cinema enthusiast





chamber of secrets is alarmingly cheap-looking. every scene takes place in the same corridor.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Harry Potter and the Corridor of Secretly Embezzling the Set Design Budget.

JethroMcB
Jan 23, 2004

We're normal now.
We love your family.


Is it really surprising that WB didn't spend a ton on Harry Potter and the One That Nobody Likes or Really Cares About, Despite a Book 7 Retcon to Try and Give It Some Narrative Weight

they really needed Columbus to crank out that second one fast and cheap, both to have something ready by thanksgiving '02 and to take advantage of the fact that the core cast hadn't entered the hairpin turn of puberty yet.

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


JethroMcB posted:

Is it really surprising that WB didn't spend a ton on Harry Potter and the One That Nobody Likes or Really Cares About, Despite a Book 7 Retcon to Try and Give It Some Narrative Weight

they really needed Columbus to crank out that second one fast and cheap, both to have something ready by thanksgiving '02 and to take advantage of the fact that the core cast hadn't entered the hairpin turn of puberty yet.

OK, but none of the three Columbus movies are well-made and the Cuarón one might be the only HP movie that's legitimately good

josh04
Oct 19, 2008

oscar winning cinema enthusiast





JethroMcB posted:

Is it really surprising that WB didn't spend a ton on Harry Potter and the One That Nobody Likes or Really Cares About, Despite a Book 7 Retcon to Try and Give It Some Narrative Weight

they really needed Columbus to crank out that second one fast and cheap, both to have something ready by thanksgiving '02 and to take advantage of the fact that the core cast hadn't entered the hairpin turn of puberty yet.

that's the thing, they spent $100 million on it and it looks like rear end. the flashback sequence lets you know we're in the past by being in black and white.

Dr. VooDoo
May 4, 2006




Abracadabra-make-movius-shitius *flick and swish*

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


josh04 posted:

that's the thing, they spent $100 million on it and it looks like rear end. the flashback sequence lets you know we're in the past by being in black and white.

The DVD bonus features: "We looked at the lighting of the sorceror's stone, and we took it a notch darker"

I think they maybe spent a ton on dobby. a TON

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

I AM TRULY ONE OF THE WORST POSTERS ON THIS SITE. LOOK UPON THIS GUY MANN REREG AND DESPAIR.


The British etymology of the term "glory hole" is that up until the end of the 20th century it was commonly used as a term for a small room or container to store things in, so what I'm saying is that Harry Potter spent his childhood living in his uncle's glory hole.

Mooey Cow posted:

How did he make it?

A wizard did it.

Roth posted:

I think this is fine for the first few books which are definitely more in the realm of children's book, but starting with Goblet of Fire there is definitely a tonal shift towards young adult fiction.

There is definitely a shift from whimsical British schoolboy adventures to young adult angst about the creeping rise of fascism during the war on terror but even in the later books it was never presented in a way that invites the kind of super in-depth CinemaSins-esque nitpicking about plot holes and consistent worldbuilding that people have been doing for almost 20 years now. I do think Rowling does bear some responsibility for how she keeps going back and adding more and more minutiae and history to the world in a way that the books themselves never did, but at least she didn't go back and change the books themselves like how Stephen King revised the first Dark Tower book after the series ended to put in more references to the later books and add a lot of the weird fantasy slang and patois he invented over the years.

Pick posted:

hagrid got in trouble for raising a litter of werewolves under his bed as a student

in the HP series, canonically, werewolves are human beings

Rowling was making it up as she was going along without much mind for continuity at the beginning so the early books have this problem a lot where a throwaway line goes against a major event or plotline in future books. Like how in the second book Harry has a throwaway line about his cousin throwing his Playstation out the window in a fit and then later they establish that his parents died in 1981 so he would have had a PlayStation in 1992.

Even Tolkein had that problem sometimes, like in the first edition of The Hobbit there were references to modern life like policemen and airplabes that he went back and edited out of future reissues for the sake of keeping the series self-contained and not requiring outside knowledge.

Asgerd
May 6, 2012




Grimey Drawer

FunkyAl posted:

wheras the harry potter books attempt to employ dull "realistic" concepts like banking, government, and school to the concept of "magic," yet does not have a logical explanation for where magic comes from, any attempt to make one, and the thermodynamic laws employed within are crappy and flimsy.

Boy oh boy do I have the lovely fanfic for you

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

I AM TRULY ONE OF THE WORST POSTERS ON THIS SITE. LOOK UPON THIS GUY MANN REREG AND DESPAIR.


How much must it have sucked to be one of the like five British actors who weren't even offered a part in the Harry Potter movies.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sleeveless posted:

How much must it have sucked to be one of the like five British actors who weren't even offered a part in the Harry Potter movies.

Whether you get the part and get paid or you get passed over and you binge on icecream either way you're gonna be putting on the pounds!

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

I AM TRULY ONE OF THE WORST POSTERS ON THIS SITE. LOOK UPON THIS GUY MANN REREG AND DESPAIR.


Tim Roth passed on playing Snape because he thought playing the lead in the Tim Burton remake of Planet of the Apes would be better for his career.

JethroMcB
Jan 23, 2004

We're normal now.
We love your family.


josh04 posted:

that's the thing, they spent $100 million on it and it looks like rear end. the flashback sequence lets you know we're in the past by being in black and white.

I wonder if that was some creative Hollywood accounting where they actually spent like $200+ mil on the first movie to lock up filming locations/have major sets constructed and then said "...But we're essentially shooting these things back-to-back, put some of those expenses on the next one."

Sodomy Hussein posted:

OK, but none of the three Columbus movies are well-made and the Cuarón one might be the only HP movie that's legitimately good

I thought the first one was decently well done and more or less in keeping with the first book's tone as a breezy kind of kid's adventure, but I haven't seen it front-to-back since it came out. 2 was pretty bad. Cuaron's was definitely The Good One but the script still fell victim to some "We need to omit plot points for no reason" stuff. Mike Newell directed 4, which made absolutely no impression on me. David Yates did everything from 5 onwards; I remember really liking the opening of OotP (Where we see that Dudley has fully entered Chavdom) but not the movie overall, after that I only ever saw the last 3 in bits and pieces on HBO.

Deathly Hallows Part 2 is especially terrible. Harry and Voldemort's ultimate battle is mostly them kinda hug-choking each other while flying at the camera (so they could ride that post-process 3D hype train and goose the box office numbers with a premium ticket upcharge.) Also instead of the two of them having their final showdown in the Great Hall in front of all the beloved ancillary characters, it's moved to...an empty lot somewhere adjacent to Hogwarts, somewhere that was easier to do on green screen. The machinations of the Elder Wand plot are convoluted and pretty crappy, but there's still something satisfying about how Voldemort dies in the books. The dull Ghostbusters proton pack energy beam duel that ends with him dissolving that we got on screen somehow manages to be less cinematic than having him just drop dead in an instant because his own spell backfired.

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.



I love this, they're all so functional

VideoKid
Jul 28, 2006

Next nothing new.


Sleeveless posted:

How much must it have sucked to be one of the like five British actors who weren't even offered a part in the Harry Potter movies.

I remember reading an interview with Tiara Swinton where she said that she refused to have anything to do with those movies because of her experiences in a British boarding school. She said that it was hosed up toxic place that should not be romanticized as a place for whimsical adventures.

ungulateman
Apr 18, 2012
Hello I am a person doing a thing via buttons. It's amazing what electronic singnals traveling through space can accomplish.

Makes ya think.

Purple m&ms are the best.

FunkyAl posted:

I love this, they're all so functional

methods of rationality is extremely cool and funny until you realise that harry isn't actually a child who thinks he's way smarter than anyone else, but rather meant to actually be way smarter than anyone else and also a very obvious vessel for the author's opinions on everything

also the racism

Gulping Again
Mar 10, 2007
It's ham, Jonathan! Do you understand? Ham!

If we're talking about Harry Potter fanfic, this one is relevant to the topic of the subforum and way more fun than the worst sort of D&Dposting self-indulgence.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

I AM TRULY ONE OF THE WORST POSTERS ON THIS SITE. LOOK UPON THIS GUY MANN REREG AND DESPAIR.


Going from mocking Harry Potter to unironic fanfic suggestions in the span of two pages, gg tropers

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reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


By page five I'm gonna have finished my Snape X Mcgonagall transfiguration slashfic and we're gonna be on our way to gringotts with the movie rights.

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