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reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


Kids as you know everyone begins their pokemon journey at ten, their wizard school letter arrives at eleven, but now you've finally turned twelve and that has a rite of its own. Today is the day you finally learn.... how to rock.



TROGDORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR





TROGDORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

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josh04
Oct 19, 2008

I'll see you in the dome





Making my kids start xkcd at the beginning and forcing them to read one a week.

amigolupus
Aug 25, 2017



Parents forcing their kids to read Harry Potter and then quizzing them on it reminds me of this bit:

https://twitter.com/legaladvice_txt/status/1276184205706264576

JethroMcB
Jan 23, 2004

We're normal now.
We love your family.


Edgar Allen Ho posted:

I think there's already talks of bringing back the original actors for some kind of remake/sequel since Fantastic Beasts kinda bombed, but the actors don't like JK Rowling so

I mean the first film came out 20 years ago, in Hollywood that means it's time to just reboot the whole drat thing. Parents can drag their kids to the theaters to make them like this thing they grew up with, and now it has a fresh coat of paint.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


If you can get whoever did Prisoner of Azkaban to do all eight films I say go for it.

MikeJF
Dec 20, 2003






Nah, they'll launch the Magic Network and do all of the books as streaming serieses and charge $10/mo just on the back of that one asset.

JethroMcB
Jan 23, 2004

We're normal now.
We love your family.


amigolupus posted:

Parents forcing their kids to read Harry Potter and then quizzing them on it reminds me of this bit:

https://twitter.com/legaladvice_txt/status/1276184205706264576



MikeJF posted:

Nah, they'll launch the Magic Network and do all of the books as streaming serieses and charge $10/mo just on the back of that one asset.

Releasing new theatrical films would probably let Warner get around their existing streaming licensing arrangement with NBCUniversal, and then they could launch concurrent side-series about other characters/houses ("What goes on in the Ravenclaw common room, anyhow?") exclusively on HBOMax.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017


Quoth James Cameron,

"Nevermore"



There is a premium former pottermore account you can get for like seventy bucks a year. No idea what content comes with it. They changed the personality tests.

e: specifically the sorting hat test now puts me in ravenclaw when I've been a slytherin since I fist met my hot goth dad Snape and my cute brooding dark prince Draco.

Edgar Allen Ho fucked around with this message at 14:09 on Mar 31, 2021

Roth
Jul 9, 2016


Angepain posted:

Are there parents somewhere right now forcing their child to read Homestuck

Hopefully

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


Well kids, I bet you're all really feeling the nostalgic and heartfelt family vibe after tonight's How I Met Your Mother but you're getting a bit older now and I think you're ready to really find out about love and life and mid-adult malaise. Just be warned, this is gonna be some questionable content.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




Oh boy, did you see the last strip of that

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


No....

ungulateman
Apr 18, 2012
Hello I am a person doing a thing via buttons. It's amazing what electronic singnals traveling through space can accomplish.

Makes ya think.

Purple m&ms are the best.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Oh boy, did you see the last strip of that

Tulip
Jun 3, 2008

I have no country to fight for; my country is the earth; I am a citizen of the world.




I woke up with the terrible thought of some parent buying their 12 year old an SA account

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017


Quoth James Cameron,

"Nevermore"



This thread alone has gotten me more titles than every other thread combined.

karmicknight
Aug 21, 2011


EEEEEEEY YO

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Oh boy, did you see the last strip of that


SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

STOP BEING EVIL.


I can't remember, did Harry have to go back to school for a real seventh year or did he test out or did the wizard government just admit that wizard education is a sham and after defeating wizard Hitler Harry had more legitimacy and popular support than anyone in office and they just gave him his wizard degree to make him quietly go away and not overthrow them?

Harry could've been the Charles de Gaulle of wizards.

Cranappleberry
Jan 27, 2009


the entire year was half propaganda and/or spells way too complex for the students to work, plus plenty of students had to stop going to class during the rebellion anyway and then many died anyway. It was scrubbed. So all-in-all a typical Hogwarts year.

Harry, Neville and Ron didn't have to take NEWTs. but they still had to pass auror training tests after 3 more years of study.

Hermione went back, did the NEWTs, joined the law enforcement branch, section for non-human sentient lifeforms or whatever and fought for elf, goblin, centaur and merfolk rights before becoming Ron and Harry's boss as the chief law enforcement officer person.

I still don't see how this system works. Does the wizengamot vote to confirm people other than minister of magic? Or is it just the minister appointing people? like what

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


Anybody willing to show up to work can have a department in the ministry.

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

STOP BEING EVIL.


In a magical world dominated by absent-minded goofy old men and old families coasting on generational wealth, that's probably a high bar of entry.

Cranappleberry
Jan 27, 2009


Showing up to work is for the plebs like Arthur Weasley. If he had generational wealth he'd be tinkering with plugs and batteries all day.

Most high level ministry people walk around, checking their ridiculous pocket watches while trying look important and accepting various bribes and favors from other inbred family leaders. Then its giving favorable interviews to the papers about reducing the tax on snargaluff pods. Midmorning tea. Expedient vote to jail some innocent house elf for eternity in sadness hell, vigorous debate and then vote to reduce the tax on snargaluff pods because they were bribed to do so, then knocking off the rest of the afternoon for whatever the wizard version of golf is.

They were all atwitter with much aghast groaning when a "shrill" young woman made them get up and do stuff and started talking about "rights" and "corruption"

Southpaugh
May 26, 2007

Smokey Bacon




Something that always pissed me off was this impression that arthur weasley had no idea how physics worked or whatever and he was just pressing his wand against things and grunting in pig latin. Tell me that the man has a haynes manual for that loving car. Does he know what a circuit is? AC/DC?

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Cranappleberry posted:

They were all atwitter with much aghast groaning when a "shrill" young woman made them get up and do stuff and started talking about "rights" and "corruption"

and then they all flooded the papers with cynical articles about hermione's horrific anticentaurism, leading to her being forced to resign in "disgrace", and it was business as usual again

Guy A. Person
May 23, 2003



Southpaugh posted:

Something that always pissed me off was this impression that arthur weasley had no idea how physics worked or whatever and he was just pressing his wand against things and grunting in pig latin. Tell me that the man has a haynes manual for that loving car. Does he know what a circuit is? AC/DC?

As the books go along there's very quickly and obvious contradictions between "the muggle world is so completely alien to wizards! What is a fellytone? and the idea that like, a lot of these wizarding institutions and homes are just smack dab in the middle of muggle world and you'd have to be literally blind to not pick up on like, what people wear or how to act around them. Like for example the first time they visit St. Mungo's they have to use the Underground because it's in a disused department store, and they say "this was the best solution" as if having a wizard who has a cat fused with their head on the train is clearly the cleanest solve.

There's of course the idea that a lot of the wizards just apparate/floo powder directly into the wizarding places they want to visit and literally never interact with the normal world, but especially with the kids JK just has them wearing normal rear end clothes all the time since e.g. Fred and George want to head into town to flirt with muggle girls or whatever. The movies also abandon this dumb pretense basically immediately as well and they have slightly wizardish boarding school clothes instead of full on robes.

amigolupus
Aug 25, 2017



Southpaugh posted:

Something that always pissed me off was this impression that arthur weasley had no idea how physics worked or whatever and he was just pressing his wand against things and grunting in pig latin. Tell me that the man has a haynes manual for that loving car. Does he know what a circuit is? AC/DC?

A technowizard would've been too cool and challenged the lovely outdated tech levels of the setting, so of course Rowling didn't make Arthur into one. No, Arthur is basically a Muggle weeb who doesn't understand the things he's tinkering with, much less Muggle culture and science.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


Since they insisted on having the cast grow up and have kids it wouldn't be the worst idea in the world for Arthur to evolve into this sort of wisened tinkerer grandpa to be a vehicle for a new journey of discovery where magic and technology are being employed often side by side to introduce a whimsical new circumstance even for the normally aloof wizarding world.



But instead let's go back and talk about wizard world war two and also let's all be entranced by precisely how much hay you need to feed a Grumbleoaf.

Zesty
Jan 17, 2012



Jazerus posted:

and then they all flooded the papers with cynical articles about hermione's horrific anticentaurism, leading to her being forced to resign in "disgrace", and it was business as usual again

Hermione kidnapped a woman and stuck her in a jar for a month, and then blackmailed that woman to let her go.

Because she wrote bullshit tabloid articles.

But it's okay. JK Rowling made sure we knew how mannish and unattractive she was so it's okay for her to experience extrajudicial hell.

But yeah, next year she's going to try and get a mean lady killed by a giant. And then try to get her killed (but ultimately raped) by centaurs when the opportunity presents itself. Don't worry, she treats the centaurs like poo poo when they realize they were being used.

JK literally said that Hermione was based on herself.

Zesty fucked around with this message at 01:17 on Apr 6, 2021

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Zesty posted:

Hermione kidnapped a woman and stuck her in a jar for a month, and then blackmailed that woman to let her go.

Because she wrote bullshit tabloid articles.

But it's okay. JK Rowling made sure we knew how mannish and unattractive she was so it's okay for her to experience extrajudicial hell.

tell me that you wouldn't put david brooks in a jar, if given the chance

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Thanks for reminding me that there's a whole subplot where Molly acts like a jerk to Hermione because she read in a tabloid that she broke up with Harry to date Krum.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




SlothfulCobra posted:

In a magical world dominated by absent-minded goofy old men and old families coasting on generational wealth, that's probably a high bar of entry.

literally just england, etc

Rockstar Massacre
Mar 2, 2009

i only have a crazy life
because i make risky decisions
from a position of
unreasonable self-confidence


if somebody wrote mean tabloid articles about me i'd prolly lock them up and throw away they key too, assuming wizarding libel laws are just as or more ineffective than muggle ones.

Doctor Spaceman
Jul 6, 2010

"Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."


Marcus Flint gets caught in a weird pocket dimension for months too I think.

Jazerus posted:

tell me that you wouldn't put david brooks in a jar, if given the chance

Piers Morgan might be an even better comparison since Skeeter was spying on people (hence the joke about her turning into a bug).

josh04
Oct 19, 2008

I'll see you in the dome





Sydin posted:

Thanks for reminding me that there's a whole subplot where Molly acts like a jerk to Hermione because she read in a tabloid that she broke up with Harry to date Krum.

This stuff is honestly where Rowling is sharpest. The paper told me you're loving around, teenage girl, you're getting a lump of coal for easter.

NikkolasKing
Apr 3, 2010





josh04 posted:

This stuff is honestly where Rowling is sharpest. The paper told me you're loving around, teenage girl, you're getting a lump of coal for easter.

Exactly. She clearly thinks of Harry as her own son almost from the first book on, giving him a sweater just like the rest of her children when told he will be getting nothing for Christmas. She's thus correspondingly overprotective. as also seen from her argument with Sirius in Book 5. Like a good mom, she will rush to conclusions to protect her baby.

The Harry/Hermione situation is very reminiscent of my relationship growing up with a friend of mine named Tiffany. We always hung out and were close and everyone assumed we must be involved. We never dated, never did anything intimate, but everyone assumed it just because of how close we were.

So yeah, seems pretty realistic to me as well.

NikkolasKing
Apr 3, 2010





So in the first book, Harry mentions having a go on Dudley's computer, right?

This was 1991.

I know I was poor and raised by my grandma but how many homes had computers in 1991?

Mazerunner
Apr 22, 2010

Good Hunter, what... what is this post?


Dudley also had a playstation several years before they were released, so either Vernon was actually the dad who works at nintendo or Rowling doesn't pay attention to numbers at all

Doctor Spaceman
Jul 6, 2010

"Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."


Rowling doesn't pay attention to numbers / dates but a well-off middle class family having a computer in the early 90s isn't ridiculous.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



NikkolasKing posted:

So in the first book, Harry mentions having a go on Dudley's computer, right?

This was 1991.

I know I was poor and raised by my grandma but how many homes had computers in 1991?

England had quite a few varieties home computers throughout the 80s and 90s so it isn't that weird. Also the Dursley's were definitely well off as Vernon is described as the CEO of a company.

MikeJF
Dec 20, 2003






Probably an Amstrad.

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Jazerus
May 24, 2011



getting Your Boy into Those Newfangled Machines was the done thing in the late 80s and early 90s, britain had a stronger computer culture than most places at the time (but worse computers )

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