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Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





I still can't believe Wizard Hitler's motivation was retconned to him becoming Wizard HitlerTM in order to stop Real HitlerTM

Did those movies do well? Are we going to get a third so I can watch clips on Youtube of Jude Law and Johnny Depp having an incredibly awkward CGI magic fight that have a bunch of comments with 1K+ likes about how incredible and emotional the scene is?

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Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





JethroMcB posted:

it's only Harry who isn't aware of the very important parts of Wizarding history that come to a head in the final books because Rowling hadn't written that plot point yethe's a bad student and a moron who has no curiosity about his world

Harry Potter really is the story of a rich, privileged white guy failing upwards until he becomes a cop.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





If you hold the stated workings of wizard society up to anything beyond cursory scrutiny it completely falls apart so

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Bartimaeus is a lot better about it because mages few in number on purpose since they're effectively an aristocracy. Anybody with the knowledge how can summon a spirit and gain access to magic, so the mages in that series are much more about controlling availability of information and intentionally obscuring the source of their magic so non-mages are ignorant and easily cowed into servitude. Also unlike Harry Potter which waffles on whether wizards would be in actual danger if muggles found out about their society at large, Bartimaeus states clearly that mages only keep the rest of society underfoot by means of fear and if they ever did rise up at any significant scale mages would be toast.

The books are hugely different in many aspects but Bartimaeus has a way more interesting and nuanced take on "modern British society but with magic" premise.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

"You're Harry Potter! Everyone knows who you are."

Its loving 6000 people Ron. Everybody personally knows everyone

I like how everybody immediately knows Ron's lineage at a glance. I guess the Weasleys are the only red-headed wizards in all of London.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





To be fair Harry ignoring Ginny despite her obvious crush on him until she grows up, gets over it, and starts dating somebody else at which point Harry is immediately burning red hot with seething jealousy is some of the more on-brand age 15 entitled rich boy writing Rowling did for Harry.

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

Their mom makes then all wear matching sweaters with WEASLEY stitched across the chest

One of the low-key things I liked about Fred and George was that every Christmas Ron would throw a fit over his embarrassing mom sweater, while the twins just gleefully owned it and endlessly needled Ron over being so uptight.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Thanks for reminding me that for like half of book six every other page is "and then Harry and Hermione turned the corner and saw Ron and Lavender making out."

What book was it where Harry tried to catch his crush on the rebound and then stormed out of the date in a fit of rage because she wouldn't stop asking him about her ex getting murdered by Wizard Hitler? Five?

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





You can't put that all on Harry though, Sirius IIRC was also acting like a petulant rear end in a top hat because the Order was rightly keeping him hidden, and he egged Harry on multiple times to do dumb poo poo and when Harry or his friends said no he'd get all sulky and go "Well I guess you're not as cool as James after all" which was exactly the thing to say to push Harry's buttons at that point in time.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Yeah Harry is horny as gently caress from book four onwards or so. Ron meanwhile has book six where he and Lavender are all but outright stated to be loving like rabbits any chance they get. Granted, nobody else in the story really gives a poo poo about romance much though. Which is probably for the best to be honest: you can argue that a series focusing on a class of hormonal teenagers should be more horny, but Rowling is pretty bad at writing romance and even worse any time she even remotely hints at the sexual aspect of romance, so best that she just didn't really focus on it at all outside of a few rare instances.

Zore posted:

Oh undoubtedly, Sirius had a really toxic relationship with Harry and handled everything really poorly. But he was also a man with arrested development from being in hell prison for the majority of his adult life before being forced to go and live in the home he grew up in where he was abused without ever being allowed to leave.

It was a bad situation all around, but Harry absolutely fed into it and made some really poor choices. And the ending drives home that there were about four or five things he could have done that would have avoided the worst case scenario if he had stopped just getting angry and lashing out.

I haven't read the books in 6-7 years, but I remember thinking that the worst things that happened in Order were more the result of the adults around Harry not realizing he's a 15 year old shithead who needs to be sat down and told what's going on in even the broadest possible strokes instead of leaving to ruminate. Instead they tell him gently caress all so he understandably comes up with the worst misunderstandings possible about why he wasn't made a prefect when his friends were, or why Dumbledore refuses to so much look him in the eye for like a full year, or why every time he tells somebody from the Order anything they just go "that's great we'll handle it, now shut up Harry." Also everything having to do with setting him up to learn how to do the wizard equivalent of clearing your mind to resist mindreading from somebody he openly loathes and who openly loathes him in turn was so asinine it bordered on plot hole. Like okay, Snape is better at resisting mind control than McGonagall, fine, whatever. I reckon McGonagall still could have taught Harry how to do it better simply by virtue of the fact that Harry wouldn't go into open revolt being taught by her like he does with Wizard Incel.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Schadenboner posted:

I've never read any of the Harry Potter books, are they any good?



They're fine. That said as I've already stated if you want an easily digestible YA-ish story about wizards living alongside modern society, read the Bartimaeus Trilogy for a much better story. I burned through the first book in a couple lunch hours this week and it holds up exceedingly well.

If you are going to read Harry Potter then make sure sure you buy the books second hand or find them online through uh, other means, because Rowling is a TERF piece of poo poo and doesn't deserve a cent of your money.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





TheAardvark posted:

I recommend you read all of them multiple times and base your entire life around the franchise, personally.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Ghost Leviathan posted:

Snape is the fantasy of the horrible abusive teacher/parental figure really caring for you deep down.

He doesn't really care about Harry deep down though? He just gets emotionally manipulated by Dumbledore into protecting Harry as "atonement" for getting Lily killed. He loving hates Harry from the second they meet until his dying breath where he just wants to look at Harry because his eyes remind him of Lily's. Even when he goes off on Dumbledore about his plan including Harry's death, it comes off more as "then why the gently caress did you make me go through all this by telling me I was fulfilling Lily's dying wish" vs him actually caring about Harry at all.

I think if the movies had cast/makeup'd somebody to look more like the ugly, greasy, incel described in the books then Snape would be a far less popular character than he is. Alan Rickman was just way too magnetic and skilled as an actor to hate anybody he played.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





https://twitter.com/Regulus_Tera/status/1269429927776071680

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Can someone explain again what the excuse was for why Malfoy's dad wasn't in prison?

He's rich.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





https://twitter.com/davidmackau/status/1270150668276375552

Radcliffe transcends his role by actually standing for something, unlike Harry.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





It's cool how if you're a Hogwarts student who is actually interested in divination, you're hosed because the first teacher is somebody Dumbledore knows is a quack 99% of the time and only keeps her around in case she has another one-in-a-million seizure that is also a prophecy, and the (brief) second teacher is a centaur whose people practice a completely alien form of divination that Wizards know nothing about, and despite being there to loving teach it the guy mostly refuses to even explain how it works outside of incredibly broad terms.

See also: having interest or aspirations in potion making as a non-Slytherin, wizard history, or magical creatures. I like how after Hagrid gets arrested Dumbledore begrudgingly brings in a substitute who's actually a really good teacher and when Hermione has the audacity to point out that hey not that she doesn't like Hagrid but maybe people who actually know how to loving teach should be hired, Harry and Ron loving dogpile her.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Smirking_Serpent posted:

so wait, is divination really a thing that an average student can be "good" at? i thought it was like you were either born with a gift or not.

It would be even funnier and incredibly on brand if this were the case and Hogwarts still had a multi-year elective class in divination that was a complete waste of time for the vast majority of students with no gift for it.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





There's no wizarding elementary school, if you're born into the wizarding world you are just completely ignorant of, in no particular order: language, any history that doesn't intersect with wizarding history, math unless you take an elective in that one math-based magic type whose name I forget, geography, functionally any form of the sciences outside of what bits here and there matter for potion making or herbology, finance, political science or theory, and tons of other stuff not listed. You get taught magic, only magic, and nothing but magic.

So yeah I guess it kinda makes sense Hermione's fifth grade muggle education puts her head and shoulders above most of the wizards she interacts with - adult or otherwise - in terms of knowledge and critical thinking skills.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Hey Arnold was way ahead of its time. You have Helga on the Couch which not only has a positive portrayal of mental health but at certain points all but turns to the camera and says "if you're having trouble processing your feelings it's okay to seek help." You have Weighing Harold which is an episode about body positivist. You have The Aptitude Test which takes a justified poo poo on personality tests and says you shouldn't be weighed down but that kind of crap and pursue what you find interesting. Arnold is raised by not just his grandparents but the entire boarding house and this is constantly reinforced as perfectly fine even if it's not a "traditional" family. Everything to do with the coding of Helga's family the horrors of alcoholism and parental abuse.

It's kind of crazy to watch Hey Arnold today and realize it started in the mid 90's. So much of media at the time was casually if not overtly racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic, and transphobic, meanwhile here's Hey Arnold with a consistent message of "it's okay to be who you are, whatever that means."

Sydin fucked around with this message at 09:53 on Jun 14, 2020

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Daikloktos posted:

I always thought it was explicitly New York, if they mentioned Hillview I assumed that was their borough... drat

I always assumed it was NYC. My mind is blown that it's supposed to be psuedo-Portland/Seattle.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Yeah Rowling is way too popular and brings way too many eyes to twitter for them to ban her. At most she might get the Trump treatment of having a tweet or two flagged as hate speech, which will naturally just allow her to play the martyr even more.

Twitter was a mistake.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Edgar Allen Ho posted:

JKR has no excuse. She's rich as hell and can probably meet with any world leader or random rear end in a top hat she chooses, she can go anywhere any time she wants. Lovecraft was genuinely ill and abused, and spread that. JKR's only problem is affluenza.

Yep, Rowling is a multi-billionaire with connections, millions of followers, and access to the internet. It would take her 30 seconds to tweet out that she wants to have a zoom call with some trans Harry Potter fans to clarify their concerns and educate herself. But she won't do that because she's already convinced herself that she's right and trans people are mentally ill and have convinced themselves (or worse, been convinced by other trans people) that they're something they aren't and so any dialogue with them is pointless.

She's going to continue to dig herself into a deeper and deeper hole that alienates her from anybody but the most hardcore alt-right CHUD's, similar to what happened to Linehan.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





If I was going to design an open world HP game it would be a glorified Persona clone that takes you through years 1-7 at Hogwarts. Most of the game is spent building up relationships by interacting with classmates and spells/skills/etc by going to classes and doing activities. You have finals each year where you have to demonstrate mastery, and also once per year there's a big plot event where there's some puzzle solving and/or combat. You can also join clubs and, if the player wants more combat, dueling club is an option and provides both specialty spells and a bunch of 1v1 fights. Throw in some cringey romance options on top and bam, you've got a loving seller.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





I'll just have Yuri Lowenthal voice all characters in the game - including the girls - and achieve about the same level of variety of voice actors there were in Fallout New Vegas.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Speleothing posted:

He did seem to be vaguely afraid of splitting himself into too many pieces, or he'd have replaced the diary as soon as he was resurrected.

Dumbledore says splitting yourself too many times is a bad idea because you end up losing too much of your humanity or something, but Voldy never really seemed to care about it. IIRC he specifically settled on seven because it's a ~magically powerful number~

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





DrBouvenstein posted:

LOl, still kind of BS, like...other than because he went to Hogwart's, what connection did he have to the Ravenclaw Diadem or the Hufflepuff Cup?

The explanation is that he was obsessed with Hogwarts because it was the only place he ever considered home, or some bullshit like that. That obsession resulted in him trying to find the founding figures' famous artifacts and use them as soul jars.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





amigolupus posted:

Hermione was the only one to try and stand up for Winky there, until Arthur awkwardly tried to shuffle the kids away. I also remember when Hermione argued that the house elves are slaves who don't know any better, Ron says that it's fine because they like it.

The Weasleys kind of suck, when you think about it.

Literally everybody in the books thinks Hermione is a lunatic for seeing the slavery of house elves is wrong. She tries to bring it up with Hagrid who himself is somebody who has experienced a poo poo load of prejudice in his life, and he just looks at her point blank and goes "They like being enslaved, get off your high horse."

Hell even she more or less drops the entire emancipation project after Book 4, outside of maybe 1-2 mentions at best and telling everybody to stop making GBS threads on the house elf at Sirius' place.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Do they have any foreign language or ESL at Hogwarts? Iím not exactly confident that the French and Eastern European students were 100% good at taking high level classes in english

I like how each school brought along a couple dozen students who could potentially be champions, but if you don't get selected you're still stuck at some foreign school for an entire year because you might have been one. Like gently caress you, I didn't get picked? Let me go home.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Hey, Snape kills Dumbledore!

NOOO, YOU BITCH!!!

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





The first third of DH is so loving dumb.

"Okay so we're stuck in this forest. What are we doing?"
"We have to find the horcruxes."
"Okay, do you know where any of them could be?"
"No."
"Did we prepare at all for this extended quest in terms of provisions or materials?"
"No."
"Not gonna lie Harry, that sounds not great."
"GOD RON YOU'RE SUCH AN rear end in a top hat, JUST LEAVE THEN."

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Zore posted:

They do spend a couple weeks crashing at Grimmauld Place, they end up being forced to leave for some stupid reasons because camping was just that important to the story JKR wanted to tell.

Why did they have to bounce from Sirius' pad again? Some dumb technicality that made the new secret keeper a nazi or something?

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





dumbass move on Dumbledore's part, everybody knows you gotta switch succession types to primogeniture or at least elective, gavelkind just fucks everything up when you die smdh

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Harry Potter: Magic fucks with technology to the point where there are zero electronics at Hogwarts.

Also Harry Potter: "Oh hey Harry I brought my radio so we can tune into to the underground resistance station! You know, the one you can only hear if you tap the radio with your wand and say the magic words?"

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





SlothfulCobra posted:

And of course, most of wizarding society that we know about is just about school, sports, and a couple parents' houses, because the work really wasn't made with that much depth to the world beyond school. Harry doesn't have a point where he has to consider college or entering the actual workforce, or anything a real teen ready to graduate has to deal with. Instead of figuring out what the real world after school would really be like, he goes off to live in the woods.

The books seemed to imply that there's zero secondary schooling for wizards, it's seven years primary schooling and then you jump straight into the workforce. There are also apparently zero remedial options, since Harry gets told if he wants to be a Wizard FBI Agent he needs to get into advanced classes that require him to ace a bunch of his year five finals, and if he fails to do this then his dream is dead. It's like how when you're 15 you get constantly yelled at that your grades matter and if you slack off you won't get into a good college and then your future will be ruined, except in the Wizarding world that's actually the legitimate case vs just being hot air to try and motivate 15 year old hormonal dipshit teens.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Ghost Leviathan posted:

The twins do drop out and open a joke novelty shop, though with Harry giving them a pile of cash for it.

You only get your wand snapped if you get expelled or try to duck out early. IIRC only the first five (six?) years of schooling are compulsory, and then you can drop out. There's an ongoing C plot in book five where the twins are ready to gently caress off and start their shop, but Molly insists on them finishing their schooling first which is part of the reason she keeps trying to sabotage their budding business.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





According to google Arithmancy is just divination, but with math instead of the stereotypical fortune teller poo poo. It must really suck though because literally nobody uses it ever over the course of the entire series and the only reason we know it exists is because Hermione took it as an elective. You know, so she could never use it.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Harry's gimmick is that while he's not a super genius wizard or anything, he's reasonably talented and can generally get good results at whatever he bothers putting his mind to. It's just that the list of things he puts his mind to is pretty short because he's lazy and entitled. I do like how at the end of Goblet when the main villain reveals himself, he just absolutely lays into Harry for being a layabout who took zero initiative to prepare for any of the tournament challenges, and so the guy had to bend over backwards to feed him helpful hints.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





The explanation IIRC is that Lily giving her life to save Harry gave him magical protection that somehow also extended to Petunia because of their shared blood, so as long as he considered the Dursley's "home" in some manner, the protection remained in place and Voldy couldn't hurt Harry. Of course nobody bothers to explain this to Harry until like book six, and also Dumbledore makes no effort to stop the Dursley's from treating Harry like poo poo, and also Harry didn't even really need the protection until Voldy resurrected in Book 4 since he was just a weird spirit thing and all the Death Eaters got spooked and went into hiding, so Harry absolutely could have just chilled at the Weasley's or whatever until then.

Okay look there answer is that it was just a framing device in Book 1 to make the magical world seem that much more appealing to Harry over the terrible, abusive muggle one, but then the fun little kids story about funny wizards turned into a sprawling epic and Rowling had to retcon a reason for why the oh-so-wise and just Dumbledore let Harry get abused by his foster family for sixteen years.

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Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





The reason Harry has a trust fund is because his grandfather invented a hair styling potion that sold like gangbusters and he spun it off into a company he later sold for loads of money, which he left as inheritance for James.

No seriously, that's not a joke. Look it up. Harry is a trust fund kid because his grandfather started Wizard Ulta.

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