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Pththya-lyi posted:The Dementors latched on to every muggle under the age of 40. That's why we're all so depressed!
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Jan 12, 2022 21:39
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RoboChrist 9000 posted:Wizards are objectively a superior class of being to muggles. Except this superior class of people doesn't understand simple mechanical devices and thinks a monetary system based on prime numbers is a swell idea.
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Jan 30, 2022 19:47
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RoboChrist 9000 posted:Harry and Hermione and even Ron and others have no problem. It is a question of desire, not ability. Wizards choose to be luddites. A muggle cannot choose to cast a spell.
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Jan 31, 2022 19:00
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Turns out they're just round rocks covered in gold paint, because anyone who doesn't understand numbers on banknotes can be fooled by anything.
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Feb 2, 2022 21:18
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LIVE AMMO COSPLAY posted:Hermione is Ron's future property, it would be improper of Harry to react to her with anything other than lukewarm British distain. Keep calm and Harry on.
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Feb 7, 2022 14:22
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Yeah, one of the questions I've always had was, has anyone just tried shooting Voldemort? You spend all your time dicking around trying to beat him with magical shenanigans, which doesn't work because he's better at it. So just loving shoot him. Glock glock. Or figure out where he is and have the Minister of Magic tell the muggle PM that they need a drone strike on such and such house, and don't worry, we'll Obliviate the memories of anyone who notices. That scene where Fudge is meeting with the PM, and Fudge says how it's hard because the bad guys can do magic too should've ended with the PM going, ".... You know we have snipers that can kill targets from a thousand yards, right?" Presto fucked around with this message at 20:34 on Feb 13, 2022 |
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Feb 13, 2022 20:27
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Nissin Cup Nudist posted:Someone should just send a letterbomb to Malfoy and see what happens
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Feb 14, 2022 02:09
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Jazerus posted:wizards are very stupid This should be the subtitle for the entire series. The Harry Potter Saga: Wizards Are Very Stupid
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Mar 5, 2022 21:10
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Jazerus posted:Base Upgrades Available: Can I level up my house elves like imps in Dungeon Keeper? Level 10 imps were great.
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Mar 14, 2022 20:41
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It's been established that house elves can teleport pretty much anywhere, so why not have some teleport onto Voldemort's face and stab him through the eye sockets?
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Mar 16, 2022 16:16
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reignofevil posted:One consideration is that any plan to kill Voldemort buys you like twelve years recovery time tops.
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Mar 17, 2022 18:22
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Boba Pearl posted:Better than the goatfucker I guess? I prefer celibate to cross species animal husbandry.
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Mar 28, 2022 15:09
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Cranappleberry posted:Samuel L. Jackson would have defeated Voldemort in a single movie.
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Mar 29, 2022 01:12
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It's been shown you can cross from England to France in a pickup truck with an outboard motor bolted on the back.
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Apr 12, 2022 20:26
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Buttchocks posted:Hogwarts: A Holocaust History
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Apr 13, 2022 01:41
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Sydin posted:He dates Ginny for a bit in Book 5 and then gets into a big fight with her and they break up, I guess.
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Apr 14, 2022 01:01
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How does anyone know if the sorting hat isn't just picking houses randomly? Or it knows someone should be in Hufflepuff but it puts them in Slytherin just for a laugh. What I'm getting at here is, is the sorting hat just a huge dick?
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Apr 18, 2022 04:59
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Come to think of it, why go through the convoluted scheme to maneuver Harry to win the tournament if the goal was just to get him to the portkey? You're posing as a professor, and you've got his trust. Tell him you to meet you in the forest, get him to grab the port key, done. Or poo poo, just take him by sidealong apparition, which we learn later is a thing.
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Apr 18, 2022 15:58
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Jazerus posted:the grounds are warded against apparition and portkeys. the third task required dumbledore to make a hole in the wards so that the stupid portkey could bring the champion outside of the maze. it occurred to no one that if someone set the portkey's destination to elsewhere it would be a massive security breach Which is why I said to get Harry to come to the forest, which is outside the grounds. 
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Apr 18, 2022 16:19
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Jazerus posted:yes...crouch jr. made the portkey, which could only function because dumbledore had to lower the wards for the day or whatever. a random portkey thrown at harry on the first day of school would have just bounced off, because portkeys don't function at hogwarts. at least part of the forest is within "the grounds" so he couldn't have lured harry off of the grounds trivially, either.
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Apr 18, 2022 19:33
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Mx. posted:i went to a school with a house system but it was australian so it was 100% determined by who did best in sports carnivals
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Apr 25, 2022 01:57
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Come to think of it Dumbledore always knew that Harry was being treated like poo poo at home. I forget which book it is, but in one of the Dumbledore-explains-the-plot sections, he says something about how when Harry first arrived at school he was less well-fed than he (Dumbledore) would have liked. But I guess telling the Durseleys to stop being dicks is too much work. Maybe suffering builds character.
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Apr 25, 2022 16:46
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ToxicFrog posted:I mean, it's loving magic, there's no reason you couldn't have fancy sportscast overlays even for the live audience showing the current location of the flying walnut and stuff without leaking that information to the players.
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Apr 27, 2022 22:54
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Pththya-lyi posted:I don't get the sense that JKR has actually read much fantasy, though. I don't recall her mentioning any other fantasy authors she admires, I am not making this up.
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May 27, 2022 02:00
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amigolupus posted:Then I remembered this is the same guy who visited an abused 11-yeard old in an orphanage and wrote him off as pure evil and never tried teaching him about the ethics of using magic against others. And dumped him into a house with a bunch of other power-hungry goons, because a hat said so.
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Jun 18, 2022 23:06
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Rotten Red Rod posted:Note all three of them pair off with a man, lose their personality, and become Mom.
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Jun 29, 2022 20:49
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James could've just clocked Voldemort upside the head with his fist and saved everybody.
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Jul 19, 2022 18:45
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:Dean Thomas brought his SNES to the dorms every year. Harry and Ron weren't invited to play because they're jackasses. Also, something I just thought of is, if you're from a muggle family, and your letter arrives that says you've been accepted at Hogwarts, do you have a choice in this matter? Do the parents get a choice? Can they say LOL, no, I want my child to have skills they can actually use, or do the wizards just wipe their memories and cart their kid off whether anybody involved wants it or not?
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Sep 1, 2022 18:13
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Pththya-lyi posted:https://twitter.com/KrisLorischild/status/1580264766727024640?s=20&t=CdD4Zv4uzJ2p2idl767z4w
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Oct 17, 2022 20:54
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Hermione and Fleur acted as decoys Harrys using polyjuice potion in that one book. So, assuming that a) Harry has balls and b) polyjuice potion goes that far......
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Oct 30, 2022 19:39
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YaketySass posted:Pottermore article on how Polyjuice doesn't affect genitals or boobs
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Oct 31, 2022 16:29
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Barudak posted:Yer a unit of measurement, harry
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Nov 20, 2022 06:46
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Asterite34 posted:To be fair, it's not the worst idea to not tell the kid with the World's Most Readable Mind about all the activities of your clandestine Antifa cell.
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Dec 3, 2022 18:33
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OPAONI posted:There's nothing in HP lore to suggest the magic wouldn't work just as well if the wand was up your rear end. How do you do the swish-and-flick? Edit: Sourcery is kind of someone actually going the "why doesn't someone just shoot Voldemort" route. All the Discworld wizards assume that the only way to beat a powerful wizard is with more magic, forgetting the awesome power possessed by someone with a halfbrick inna sock. Presto fucked around with this message at 03:06 on Feb 21, 2023 |
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Feb 21, 2023 03:00
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Yeah but then you can just shoot him again.
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Feb 21, 2023 15:29
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Oh say can you see Voldemort, if you can then my hair's too short.
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Feb 21, 2023 19:28
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Schwarzwald posted:Isn't the whole joke in Discworld that magic is trivially easy to perform (and that wizards dress it up in ceremony to prevent its widespread adoption)..? It's very easy to do... once.
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Mar 20, 2023 23:56
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Rudcully comes off as taking the piss of a D&D wizard when he has a huge bog oak staff and a crossbow that can impale three elves at once. In Soul Music there's a line about how he rarely uses his staff for magic, because anything you can't defeat by beating it with a 6 foot oaken staff probably isn't going to be affected by magic either.
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Mar 22, 2023 15:15
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Remind me, was the Goblet of Cock and Balls before or after the Odor of the Penis?
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Oct 1, 2023 02:22
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Wasn't that because the Dutch edition uses RAZ, and someone said, you know, the Dutch word for 'black' is 'zwart' and welp.
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Oct 1, 2023 14:58
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