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Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.
sexy:

• large, intimidating, but realistically endomorphic build
• black leather trenchcoat wrapped around lean muscle- the veneer of professionalism, but not quite tamed. a bad boy
• straps and buckles. goth/jock
• peeled back lips, stapled flesh, and glimpse at raw, anatomy-book-red muscles suggest bulging, monstrous form is too muscular for his own thick, coarsely-textured skin to contain– a sexual beast ready to be let loose
• yet there's also this hint of that rough-textured flesh at the shoulder and fingers, showing this boy's got some skin under all that leather after all
• t e n t a c l e s

NOT sexy:

• exaggeratedly broad shoulders give impression of dainty chicken legs
• jacket is a loving garbage bag
• tiny little caution signs and ionizing radiation hazard signs? did an 8 year old boy with a single sheet of stickers decorate this motherfucker?
• tight, narrow sash placed at the waist makes jacket look like a loving sundress. creates a baggy effect on torso and legs- no sense of physical form. waifish, like he could snap in half at the waist.
• garbage bag coat somehow devolves into, like, mummy bandages as it gets close to his arms and chest?
• rotting, crooked, useless human nose and pale, necrotic-looking flesh gives impression that he's wearing somebody else's face as a mask, ala lisa trevor, universally regarded as the least sexy monster in the series:

haggardly knobby ol' corpse bitch gently caress u
• (still talking about remake nemesis) hints of flesh through mummy bandages provide no allure because, again, skin looks like a web of decaying, stretched-out corpse-suit
• indistinct chin, neck like a science fair volcano, tall, pill-shaped head; altogether make head look like a goofy pointed little mound
• stupid loving metal thing that I assume is supposed to be the restraining device that was previously built into his trench coat because god forbid any part of this look sleek and functional
• the boots are ok
overall, I don't understand how anybody on the dev theme thought I would want to gently caress this

huge, huge disappointment, because Mr. X had a GIANT sexiness upgrade between original and remake, especially form 2, going from ken doll anatomy with no recognizable musculature to rippling abs and pectorals and TROUSERS, leaving the fun bits to the imagination (wonder where they got THAT idea from....)


now you might be saying to yourself, "well, what about nemesis' second form?"
and, okay, the bestial, abdomina-dentata look has its appeal, especially the garbage-bag coat turning into a tattered loincloth hot drat! :swoon:

holy gently caress those thighs...

but lbr, this is not iconic. it does not have a distinctive silhouette, it this could be any generic clawed beastie from something like the splatterhouse remake, or the metro games, the darkness, the suffering, whatever

and we are comparing form 2's and sorry but
AS.
IF.


the motherfucking og

no. contest.
those hips don't lie.
game over.
checkmate.
bullseye.
bingo.

so
WHY did they decide to make the nemesis less sexy in the remake? and
WHEN is capcom finally going to start listening and give gamers the nude,, fully sexual nemesis we've all been waiting for?

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Jesustheastronaut!
Mar 9, 2014




Lipstick Apathy
first square enix makes tifa's breasts less than half the size of her torso, and now THIS?????????????

Flimf
Sep 3, 2006

yeah what the hell square make nemesis boobs bigger

OnimaruXLR
Sep 15, 2007
Lurklurklurklurklurk
I feel like it's a bit unfair comparing promotional and design art to in-game models



Granted, with the way the imagination works, the low fidelity look probably just invites the projection of more attractive traits, but still, let's compare apples to apples

OnimaruXLR fucked around with this message at 11:47 on Apr 6, 2020

TontoCorazon
Aug 18, 2007


Thought for a second the op was talking about Jill, she got the baps in the new one.

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015

I'm glad it says caution all over his clothes so I know to be careful around this guy

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015

TontoCorazon posted:

Thought for a second the op was talking about Jill, she got the baps in the new one.

Theres a load of dumb nerds talking about a class action lawsuit because they can't look up Jill's skirt anymore lol

https://twitter.com/Vara_Dark/status/1245864466375266306

https://twitter.com/9_volt_/status/1246061931636588544?s=20

https://twitter.com/classiclib3ral/status/1246036261648969735

TontoCorazon
Aug 18, 2007



I've been on the internet for so long to know that they're not joking. But that poo poo always makes me sad.

Sex Tragedy
Jan 28, 2007

father of three with an extra large butt
her skirt was cool, i would have kept it if i was the director

Valko
Sep 18, 2015

TontoCorazon posted:

I've been on the internet for so long to know that they're not joking. But that poo poo always makes me sad.

Please do not shatter my illusions. I was comfortable thinking that a large number of these people are anarchist trolls who just want to start a ridiculous argument for their own twisted sense of humor.

TontoCorazon
Aug 18, 2007


Valko posted:

Please do not shatter my illusions. I was comfortable thinking that a large number of these people are anarchist trolls who just want to start a ridiculous argument for their own twisted sense of humor.

Is that any better?

Valko
Sep 18, 2015

Uh, well, no actually. Good point.

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.
The giant worm boss was always much sexier, IMO

Best Bi Geek Squid
Mar 25, 2016
now that 3d graphics have evolved to the point that designers can faithfully translate their concepts into the game, capcom had to tone it down

the sheer amount of raw sexual energy of an eight-foot, muscle-bound, tentacled dude in a trenchcoat chasing and whipping you would have just been too much

Dr. Heart Collapse
Oct 30, 2010

by Fluffdaddy
Nemesis:

- the inescapable agent of someone's or something's downfall.

- a long-standing rival; an archenemy.

- a downfall caused by an inescapable agent.

are you gonna go out and/or get hurt?

will you fight

- the umbrella corp

- Zombie Killer

does he want your brains

Dig deep

- your dearest friend

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

what a bunch of freaks

communism bitch
Apr 24, 2009
Im clicking the star for this resident evil thread, which is bound to be extremely horny.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

I always wonder where the evil monster mutant bad guys get all their outfits and poo poo from.

Like who the hell is making size 39 boots and giant pants and poo poo, let alone all their custom weapons and stuff. Like is there a Canadian Tire, Lowes or Home Depot out there that stocks Carhart For Evil brand attire on their retail side or what?
Are they going there to shop for it or do they send their grutesque minions to get it? Even still does no one notice that horrific monsters are stocking up on these things?

No one ever wonders what the fire breathing 10 foot tall dude with a chainsaw for an arm wants with ANOTHER XXXXL armored leather apron and two bags of store brand peanuts checking out at Fleet Farm?

Big Beef City fucked around with this message at 16:56 on Apr 6, 2020

communism bitch
Apr 24, 2009
Well Umbrella's whole business is making monsters for the military, so presumably they have some dude with a sewing machine somewhere in a back room making sure you can't see the monster wang.

Using reanimated corpses to eat people alive in war = cool
having their dicks hanging out for everybody to see = not cool

This is America after all.

Ocean Book
Sep 27, 2010

:yum: - hi
if they want they want to so bad should buy thier own skirt and look up it

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.
I'm the guy that put all the caution stickers on the big guy's bdsm apron exactly how they are laid out

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010

Best Bi Geek Squid posted:

now that 3d graphics have evolved to the point that designers can faithfully translate their concepts into the game, capcom had to tone it down

the sheer amount of raw sexual energy of an eight-foot, muscle-bound, tentacled dude in a trenchcoat chasing and whipping you would have just been too much

Speak for yourself, I can take it

A LOVELY LAD
Feb 8, 2006

Hey man, wanna hear a secret?



College Slice

Cubone posted:


• jacket is a loving garbage bag



It's derelicte.

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010




Sex Tragedy posted:

her skirt was cool, i would have kept it if i was the director

shorts are sexy!!!

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
horny nerd want jill! horny nerd want jill!
https://i.imgur.com/maWJ6sO.mp4

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Sex Tragedy posted:

her skirt was cool, i would have kept it if i was the director

Look, if you want a sexy lady in a dress fighting monsters, we already have Aya Brea for that sort of thing.

Best Bi Geek Squid
Mar 25, 2016

gary oldmans diary posted:

horny nerd want jill! horny nerd want jill!
https://i.imgur.com/maWJ6sO.mp4

the remake will give these guys fedoras to tip as they flail towards you shouting "m'lady!"

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
As a discerning video game buyer, the first thing I look for in any prospective purchase the presence/quality of buxom babes and beefy hunks.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Gamers are trash lol

The American Dream
Mar 1, 2007
Don't Forget My Balls
RIP boner culture.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

"I think you'll find that YOU are the TRASH" I say through gritted teeth, my voice so low that not even my mother complains about the interruption of 'Wheel of Fortune' in the next room.
My huge titted gothic queen of DEATH has readied her busty might and will soon smash your puny APE skull in. My greasy thumb slithers over the encrusted 'X' button on the controller...
'X'. "How fitting a letter," I think, to mark the end of your disgusting ways and proclaim, in it's own way, what will surely be a night of passion fo- *You've been killed by CancInPants_69 - Respawn In 5..*

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!

Best Bi Geek Squid posted:

the remake will give these guys fedoras to tip as they flail towards you shouting "m'lady!"

Might buy it if it did.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

Big Beef City posted:

My huge titted gothic queen of DEATH has readied her busty might and will soon smash your puny APE skull in.

*tugs collar, little puffs of steam escape*

CassandraZara
Oct 21, 2012

by Nyc_Tattoo
STARS

Dr. Gojo Shioji
Apr 22, 2004

Ocean Book posted:

if they want they want to so bad should buy thier own skirt and look up it

I feel confident that some nerd will pull himself up by his bootstraps and make a custom "REAL ORIGINAL Jill Valentine RE3 miniskirt" skin. I mean, if the Nexus Mods page for the Resident Evil 2 remake is any indication...


"You want S.K.I.R.T.S.?! I'll give you skirts!"

Dr. Gojo Shioji fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Apr 6, 2020

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008

:blastu::dogcited:
Lipstick Apathy
A SKORT?! IN A GAME WHERE TEH FEMALE PROTAGONIST IS CONSTANTLY CRAWLING AND FALLING WITH A CAMERA DIRECTLY ON HER BACK BECAUSE IT'S 3RD PERSON?!?! AND NO UPSKIRT SHOTS?!?! WTFFFF CAPCOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008

:blastu::dogcited:
Lipstick Apathy
In Resident Evil 4 sometimes you can see up Ashley's skirt tho. Idk if that was just a fan service thing or what. I'm not gonna say it was tastefully done, but it really wasnt gratuitous. Like I guess if you got kidnapped and had to escape a weird fuckin spanish island and had to jump down from high ledges that sometimes your skirt would flip up a bit ? idk



i wish we coulda saw leons cock tho

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

ShortyMR.CAT posted:

In Resident Evil 4 sometimes you can see up Ashley's skirt tho. Idk if that was just a fan service thing or what. I'm not gonna say it was tastefully done, but it really wasnt gratuitous. Like I guess if you got kidnapped and had to escape a weird fuckin spanish island and had to jump down from high ledges that sometimes your skirt would flip up a bit ? idk



i wish we coulda saw leons cock tho

I’m pretty sure Ashley will call you a filthy pervert if she catches you angling for panty shots.

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
Don't forget the flat and boring voice that lost it's sexyness from the original. Creepy sex pest "Staarrrrsssss..." is better than generic angry "STURRRRSSSS!!!"

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sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

Pvt.Scott posted:

I’m pretty sure Ashley will call you a filthy pervert if she catches you angling for panty shots.

A lot of Resident Evil 4 playthroughs were actually about a terrified young girl who had to hang out with a pervert long enough to not get murdered by other monsters

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