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Just took my new ED meds out for a test drive this afternoon and I easily clocked over 9 TPS - haven't been this sore since high school. I'm curious how my stats stack up against the community here.
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Apr 8, 2020 00:06
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 07:20 |
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TPS? Tugs Per Second?
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Apr 8, 2020 00:09
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Mohs scale more like Mods scale
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Apr 8, 2020 00:11
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My wife is an xray tech and she had a coworker take an xray of her hip after a night of relentless pounding.
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Apr 8, 2020 00:12
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Mid-gently caress, I pull out, climb to the top of the turnbuckle, and drop like Owen Hart straight down into the earth (her rear end).
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Apr 8, 2020 00:14
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Your mom. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Apr 8, 2020 00:14
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Sir Not Appearing posted:My wife is an xray tech and she had a coworker take an xray of her hip after a night of relentless pounding. What'd the co-workers X-ray say?
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Apr 8, 2020 00:14
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Big Beef City posted:What'd the co-workers X-ray say? Is the co-workers hip okay?
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Apr 8, 2020 00:17
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Big Beef City posted:What'd the co-workers X-ray say? Case closed due to lack of evidence.
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Apr 8, 2020 00:18
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Real talk though ok, I get it. Alright for real when I was younger I knew some guys that worked for a company that helped set up and tear down fair ground equipment, rides, that kind of stuff, just out of high-school aged guys, they also ran a local fun-house at halloween time, whatever. Anyhow. County fair is coming to town and I get a bright idea, so I slip these dudes $20 and some weed if they'll let me in right after they get the ferris wheel up, so I get in the grounds. With like...10 girls. I put one in each basket, and get myself positioned just right on the loading panel underneath the buckets, like sorta where you step on and off the ride? And just have Tips (my buddy) just have that fucker start spinnin. Just "pop pop pop" one after the other in a big old loop, circus music going, the whole nine.
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Apr 8, 2020 00:18
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I literally split another human in half with my genitals. literally in half
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Apr 8, 2020 00:21
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Big Beef City posted:With like...10 girls. I put one in each basket, and get myself positioned just right on the loading panel underneath the buckets, like sorta where you step on and off the ride? And just have Tips (my buddy) just have that fucker start spinnin. Just "pop pop pop" one after the other in a big old loop, circus music going, the whole nine.
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Apr 8, 2020 00:21
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My Evangelion pillow has never complained, if you know what I mean.
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Apr 8, 2020 00:23
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I once hosed so hard that an entire 'nother person fell out of the fuckee.
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Apr 8, 2020 00:26
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Let me share with you a tale of woe. The other night my wife and I were having a quickie. If we're just both trying to achieve orgasm quick we usually go for the her-on-top facing me thing. Well we were going pretty hard at it and right as we're both...uh...finishing my ball (the right one in case you're wondering) kind of flew up getting wedged between her rear end and my pelvis right as she was pushing down and I was pushing up. I have rarely felt ball pain to such a degree that I though I needed to go see a doctor but boy this was sure getting close. My freaking ball was swollen all night. Sucks, man.
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Apr 8, 2020 00:26
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Literally A Person posted:Let me share with you a tale of woe. The other night my wife and I were having a quickie. If we're just both trying to achieve orgasm quick we usually go for the her-on-top facing me thing. Well we were going pretty hard at it and right as we're both...uh...finishing my ball (the right one in case you're wondering) kind of flew up getting wedged between her rear end and my pelvis right as she was pushing down and I was pushing up. I have rarely felt ball pain to such a degree that I though I needed to go see a doctor but boy this was sure getting close. My freaking ball was swollen all night. Sucks, man. drat that sucks
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Apr 8, 2020 00:31
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HugeGrossBurrito posted:drat that sucks Right?
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Apr 8, 2020 00:32
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Literally A Person posted:Right? I hope your balls are ok now
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Apr 8, 2020 00:33
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As far as I know they seem fine. Though I swear to god my righty is laying slightly more forward than it used too. Gonna have to look at some archival photos and do a comparison.
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Apr 8, 2020 00:35
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you kiss ball make it better. That is a real "BUM"mer for your nuts though  I myself have had them get into some weirdly painful shenanigans while in the act (of having sex. with a woman. I've had sex, me, I mean, with multiple female partners if that wasn't clear), but it's always been one of those "Alright do we abort this or keep this operation on schedule" kind of ordeal. I tell you there have been some tight calls.
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Apr 8, 2020 00:35
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That's why I never let a woman on top, as much as I love a double handful. Too much can go wrong
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Apr 8, 2020 00:36
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Literally A Person posted:Let me share with you a tale of woe. The other night my wife and I were having a quickie. If we're just both trying to achieve orgasm quick we usually go for the her-on-top facing me thing. Well we were going pretty hard at it and right as we're both...uh...finishing my ball (the right one in case you're wondering) kind of flew up getting wedged between her rear end and my pelvis right as she was pushing down and I was pushing up. I have rarely felt ball pain to such a degree that I though I needed to go see a doctor but boy this was sure getting close. My freaking ball was swollen all night. Sucks, man. Well did you come or what?
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Apr 8, 2020 00:38
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Woodpile posted:Your mom. Someone had to do it. Thank you Woodpile.
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Apr 8, 2020 00:41
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I hosed him so hard that afterward he said "wow hot diggety! thanks for the cum, chum."
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Apr 8, 2020 00:49
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i dont know if its just me but going really fast doesnt feel as good as going a bit slower. i dont think imitating porn is the best way
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Apr 8, 2020 00:52
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gary oldmans diary posted:i dont know if its just me but going really fast doesnt feel as good as going a bit slower. i dont think imitating porn is the best way yeah seriously there's nothing about porn that's real. especially chicks liking sex. cuz my wife sure don't.
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Apr 8, 2020 00:54
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You ever gently caress so hard that when you're done... You DON'T want to do any truckin? I sure as poo poo haven't you fuckin commie.
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Apr 8, 2020 00:57
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Once had sex for like three hours and then the next day my dick was all swollen and hosed up I mean like from 6.5 inch circumference to a whole rear end 7 and it didnt ease up until twice weeks later, was like a balloon filled with mayo it was all lumpy and uneven swelling too my dick got so drat beat up.
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Apr 8, 2020 00:59
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That sounds like maybe your weiner got bit by a snake or something you ever check that out?
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Apr 8, 2020 01:03
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Big Beef City posted:That sounds like maybe your weiner got bit by a snake or something you ever check that out? It was so sore it felt like poking a rare steak it felt like those weird balls you squeeze and that slowly release their shape afterwards
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Apr 8, 2020 01:10
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Big Beef City posted:That sounds like maybe your weiner got bit by a snake or something you ever check that out?
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Apr 8, 2020 01:10
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1redflag posted:Well did you come or what? 
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Apr 8, 2020 01:19
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Big Beef City posted:What'd the co-workers X-ray say? They laughed and went along with it. It was a group of mid-20s-mid-30s women who were all fairly close (except a couple of the part-timers) and from what my wife said 90% of their conversations were about sex.
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Apr 8, 2020 01:20
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Apr 8, 2020 01:27
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it was the day after benghazi
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Apr 8, 2020 01:28
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Friday-Saturday-Sunday
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Apr 8, 2020 01:49
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Ever hear of the big bang? Yeah, I caused that. Just hanging out w/ you pleebs, amused at my creation.
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Apr 8, 2020 02:05
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Pretty hard. Like topaz or quartz hard.
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Apr 8, 2020 03:13
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ive been hosed way harder than ive ever given gently caress and i gotta say i get the appeal now
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Apr 8, 2020 03:16
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- hi
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 07:20 |
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my dick crashed into the towers
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Apr 8, 2020 03:26
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