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I think I sing to myself, I don't suck in my gut when I'm not around company, and sometimes I waft my own farts into my face when they're good.
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Apr 10, 2020 06:15
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I eat a salad after I eat Dinner.
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Apr 10, 2020 06:24
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A morsel of every single meal I eat is also offered to my cat and he is allowed to lick the bowl when I'm done
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Apr 10, 2020 06:26
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My crippling marijuana addiction
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Apr 10, 2020 06:31
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I like the smell of fresh rubberbands so much I sometimes have several stuffed up my nose so it's always there. I am a thoughtcriminal of the highest caliber.
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Apr 10, 2020 07:26
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hey chief look at the BALLS on this guy
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Apr 10, 2020 07:42
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Cameras will see me perform Standing Gluteal Contractions. Usually both together, but if I'm waiting to cross the road or in a queue I get some rhythm going and do them individually. TNation.com suggests - "...squeeze the glutes as hard as possible for 30 seconds. Make "fists" to increase the neural drive through irradiation. Just do this once." - but I don't do the make fists part because it could make it appear I'm trying hard to be a pants shitter.
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Apr 10, 2020 08:04
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I'm a chronic masturbator
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Apr 10, 2020 08:13
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When I'm alone I speak in tongues
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Apr 10, 2020 08:14
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i really like to get a good, thorough sample of my nut butter with my whole palm and huff deeply its musk to wager if i should shower or not
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Apr 10, 2020 08:17
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the old scratch and sniff
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Apr 10, 2020 08:24
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They're going to see that EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. IT’S CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, RIDDICK.
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Apr 10, 2020 08:38
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Inverted Icon posted:When I'm alone I speak in tongues I constantly berate myself out loud about all of my failings, past and present.
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Apr 10, 2020 08:39
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That's it, I'm voting this thread 5 and I hope those fat cats in Oceania see it.
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Apr 10, 2020 08:42
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i actually might have some kind of tourettes because i constantly yell "gently caress my life!" intermittently throughout the day when a dire memory pops into my train of thought unwanted and uninvited
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Apr 10, 2020 08:43
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I take things out of the refrigerator and put them back in the refrigerator again, like, a lot
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Apr 10, 2020 08:46
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Just hours and hours of uninterrupted immobile navel gazing Like scary hours of time elapsed footaged with nothing but a subtle rocking
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Apr 10, 2020 08:50
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my dog died im sad posted:I eat a salad after I eat Dinner. Same
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Apr 10, 2020 08:58
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to save time I take out my hog while still walking to the bathroom in order to immediately commence pissing on arrival
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Apr 10, 2020 09:16
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i have linux installed on my computer
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Apr 10, 2020 09:19
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Associate Christ
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what do the 1984 cameras do I haven't actually read it
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Apr 10, 2020 09:24
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They tell you to do tai-chi and other calisthenics and tell you the news. They am my friend.
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Apr 10, 2020 09:33
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Cubone posted:what do the 1984 cameras do I haven't actually read it Same thing your webcam/smartphone do now except it's public knowledge
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Apr 10, 2020 09:34
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Joe Bogan posted:except it's public knowledge Direct assistance target marketing 
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Apr 10, 2020 09:37
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My place doesn't have a camera anymore because big brother couldn't handle my grotesque bullshit
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Apr 10, 2020 09:57
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do you think eurasia and eastasia was totally made up poo poo by the party. imagine if everything outside of oceania was cool and chill lol
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Apr 10, 2020 12:22
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“Dude, that guy just ate a WHOLE JAR of olives!”
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Apr 10, 2020 15:15
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I got a thank you note from the people who run room 101, they said the recording of me wearing a thong and practicing the bagpipes has increased their efficiency 20%. No royalties though. That's dystopia for you
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Apr 10, 2020 15:43
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nothing because the cameras and microphones in 1984 were a bluff. no one was listening on the other end, they didnt have enough people to watch everything
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Apr 10, 2020 16:24
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Man this guy sleeps a LOT
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Apr 10, 2020 16:47
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Mostly jerking off when I'm awake.
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Apr 10, 2020 16:56
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They wouldn't learn jack poo poo because I never leave my house.
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Apr 10, 2020 17:13
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every tuesday i do a 9/11
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Apr 10, 2020 17:21
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The Protagonist posted:i actually might have some kind of tourettes because i constantly yell "gently caress my life!" intermittently throughout the day when a dire memory pops into my train of thought unwanted and uninvited This. Also frequent micro-raging when I drop a piece of ice or something ("Oh gently caress me naked!") Prolonged uncomfortable eye contact with my wife while I sing at her between bouts of terrorizing her.
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Apr 10, 2020 17:55
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Pick posted:A morsel of every single meal I eat is also offered to my cat and he is allowed to lick the bowl when I'm done poo poo, it’s not just me.
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Apr 10, 2020 17:59
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I play with my hair a lot and read my phone constantly
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Apr 10, 2020 18:02
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:Mostly jerking off when I'm awake. https://youtu.be/4zH9Zca1vRM
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Apr 10, 2020 18:05
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They would probably find out that I have a giant rash on my crotch.
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Apr 10, 2020 18:21
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pp smol 😔
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Apr 10, 2020 18:22
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 05:00 |
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They'd grow tired of watching Forbidden Planet with me.
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Apr 10, 2020 18:34
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