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Yinlock

- lion health increased from 80 to 90
- net cooldowns increased
- fixed the gltch where gladiators could bounce against a food bowl until they teleported outside of the cell bars
- fixed a bug where the emperor suddenly died and fell through the floor whenever Jeff won

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Slush Garbo

FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK
- resolved issue where players using Spartacus character had multiple duplicate saves

google THIS

- Tooltip added to the thumbs up/thumbs down voting system because it was causing a lot of spectator confusion
- Armor nipple texture resolution and polygon count increased

Yinlock

- we're working on the uh "bug" where during the final fight to earn your freedom you are put against 5 lions and immediately executed if you win, thank you for your patience


biosterous




- crit rate for tridents has increased from 5% to 5.25%. after some discussion with the test team the attack speed has also been reduced from 18.9 to 18.6 to maintain balance

- fixed the underflow error that allowed gladiators to stab their own foot at the start of the match to gain a frankly ridiculous amount of points

- improved ragdoll physics - the heads of decapitated enemies will no longer rocket straight up

[...]

- undid the ragdoll physics fix after lots of community feedback



thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!
gallery of sigs


he/him

PHIZ KALIFA

#mood
- Myrmidons have a new Charge Attack where they can Charge forward, then Attack.

crimes

BoldFrankensteinMir


-Fixed the typo in Scutarii equipment list that was causing "your blade bounces off his scrotum" messages.
-Laquearii now only wear cowboy hats if you select the Corny Colosseum trait at player creation.
-Made the proportions of female Bustuarii more realistic, funerary garb less revealing.
-Bonus damage against Scissores now correctly calculated on stone weapons.


Sig by Heather Papps

LastGoodBoy

Keep your mind be open window everyday
-Resolved an issue where lions were incorrectly spawning in spectator stands.

High on the hog, 90's style.

Yinlock

- fixed issue where 4 year old lions sometimes dropped ak-47s


nut

lol at whole thread

goatface

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


- Added weight to crude knife to prevent the physics freeze caused by the "blade volcano" when dropping tens of thousands of weapons on death.
- Added price to crude knife to prevent the economic crash bug.
- Removed crude knife from the crafting system.

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
Knock, knock?
Who's there?
Gladiator...
Gladiator, who?
Gladiator before the lions did!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

nut

- fixed gold duplication glitch
- restored coliseum loan debts to emperor nook to previous lower price

nut

- Get Over Yonder! Scorpion is now available as seasonal Easter DLC

goatface

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


- Sparing your foes too often now results in an automatic community standards warning

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
-Lions will now chase everyone, regardless of religious affiliation- in accordance with the Prophecy

goatface

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


- Iron claw drops from the ostriches are a glitch in their design and they should be returned to the handlers. Selling them is an exploit that could result in termination of your contract.

Heather Papps

hello friend


*DO NOT INSTALL THE "NAVAL BATTLE" UPDATE. IT WILL CORRUPT YOUR LOCAL DATA*



thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

BoldFrankensteinMir


-Introduced new tutorial character Russel the Crow, who will point out unlooted corpses and caw a warning right before tiger attacks for new players lvls 1-5.


Sig by Heather Papps

goatface

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


- Tigers emerging from the floor is working as intended and not a clipping issue. Please stop raising reports with the staff.

Heather Papps

hello friend


-introduced new unskippable cutscene between every match
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtJgNvwmsRA



thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

goatface

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


- If you have an idea for a fun new weapon and armour combination (cool name can be supplied by our marketing team), the suggestion box is now open.

biosterous




- hafted weapons will now break when sufficient weight is applied to them -- no more spear ladders in order to go fight the spectators!

- removed spectators' item drop table to hopefully stop you from wanting to fight them

[...]

- spectators now provide zero exp. stop finding ways to kill the spectators

[...]

- spectators no longer count toward your k/d ratio. spectator kills do not count towards the "trail of corpses" and/or "river of blood" achievements. what is wrong with you people



thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!
gallery of sigs


he/him

PHIZ KALIFA

#mood
- the BREAD and CIRCUS skill trees are now only available to Caesar class donors to our Patreon page.

crimes

BoldFrankensteinMir


-In preparation for the When In Rome expansion, removed special unit 'tuba-playing bear'. All bears and chickens will receive all instrument skills as part of the realism update.


Sig by Heather Papps

LastGoodBoy

Keep your mind be open window everyday
- Compatibility patch for Chainsaw Lion DLC.

High on the hog, 90's style.

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!

biosterous posted:

- hafted weapons will now break when sufficient weight is applied to them -- no more spear ladders in order to go fight the spectators!

- removed spectators' item drop table to hopefully stop you from wanting to fight them

[...]

- spectators now provide zero exp. stop finding ways to kill the spectators

[...]

- spectators no longer count toward your k/d ratio. spectator kills do not count towards the "trail of corpses" and/or "river of blood" achievements. what is wrong with you people

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

goatface

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


- Spectators will provide only vague, nondescript cheering. They are not aggro-ing on you.

Quaint Quail Quilt


Ask me about that time I told people mixing bleach and vinegar is okay
- You can no longer dual wield with one arm.

- Female lions no longer have manes.

- "Flesh tone" color renamed to peach. (Insensitive either way) there are now a plethora of tones to choose from

- Loin cloths no longer default to peach color.

- Fart emote no longer has knockback (it was being abused.)

LastGoodBoy

Keep your mind be open window everyday
-Genital size slider is now limited to 100% as originally intended.

High on the hog, 90's style.

Jaguars!


- Pocket sand incapacitations now have increased likelihood of receiving a thumbs down from Caesar

magic cactus

We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.
-added monsterkill.wav to the Minotaur's death cutscene

-added exit from the Minotaur maze

-fixed a glitch where summoning Icarus results in the icarus model flying too close to the sun and spawning as a fireball

-undid the controversial "vox populi" update. Match spectators can no longer write on the arena walls

-fixed a glitch where upon a thumbs down Caeser would headshot the losing player while screaming are you not entertained



Thanks to Saoshyant for the amazing spring '23 sig!

LastGoodBoy

Keep your mind be open window everyday
-Fixed an issue where attempting to equip a lion to the offhand slot would cause the client to crash. Lions are now able to be dual wielded as intended.

High on the hog, 90's style.

Yinlock

- Fixed a glitch where gladiators could sometimes win against caesar's bets


Yinlock

biosterous posted:

- hafted weapons will now break when sufficient weight is applied to them -- no more spear ladders in order to go fight the spectators!

- removed spectators' item drop table to hopefully stop you from wanting to fight them

[...]

- spectators now provide zero exp. stop finding ways to kill the spectators

[...]

- spectators no longer count toward your k/d ratio. spectator kills do not count towards the "trail of corpses" and/or "river of blood" achievements. what is wrong with you people


Stoner Sloth

biosterous posted:

- hafted weapons will now break when sufficient weight is applied to them -- no more spear ladders in order to go fight the spectators!

- removed spectators' item drop table to hopefully stop you from wanting to fight them

[...]

- spectators now provide zero exp. stop finding ways to kill the spectators

[...]

- spectators no longer count toward your k/d ratio. spectator kills do not count towards the "trail of corpses" and/or "river of blood" achievements. what is wrong with you people

this and :five: 'd in general







sigs by the awesome Manifisto, Vanisher, City of Glompton, Pot Smoke Phoenix, Nut, Heather Papps,Prof Crocodile, knuthgrush, Ohtori Akio, Teapot, Saosyhant, Dumb Sex Parrot, w4ddl3d33, and nesamdoom!! - ty friends!

super sweet best pal

The Mad Max event has begun!

- Two men enter, one man leaves - Fight classic foes like Lord Humungus, Blaster, Immortan Joe and others in the Thunderdome to earn Max Tokens.

- Who runs Barter Town? - Trade Max Tokens for special Mad Max themed gear.

- Per our contract with Warner Bros., event costumes, pets and chariots may not be disabled, no matter how much you think they ruin the game's immersion.

Golden Gate Bride
knife to meet you
-fixed the glitch where emperor's thumb was perpetually stuck pointing sideways after a fight

goatface

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


- added restrictions on betting on your opponent and raised the cost of basic medical insurance to stop the low level suicide strats.

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Finger Prince


-fixed glitch where dying would trigger the "fields of wheat" cutscene and not allow respawning.

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