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>Investigate fallen dreamstick
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May 29, 2020 14:36
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 14:01 |
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You retrieve the old man's cane from the shallows of the beach and inspect it. At first it seems to be a plain wooden walking stick, but then as you grip it harder and stare at it, you vault through the universe, past stars and galaxies, through time and space. You see many things: the Battle of Dagorlad, the death of the Trees in Valinor, the sinking of Belariand. Finally you see an Entwife, who seems to be an apple tree, breaking off one of her branches and giving it to Pallando, and him giving it to Whiskers. You realize the cane is that branch. Inventory: pipe, weed, shrooms, antlers, mithril knuckles, greaves, sword, Entwife branch You can go any direction. >_
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May 31, 2020 23:06
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Smell the branch for traces of Entwife scent. Breathe it in deeply
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May 31, 2020 23:22
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>Find Whiskers >Add Whiskers to party >Dope Whiskers Up Good
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May 31, 2020 23:33
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Dawn breaks. You find Whiskers and Figgy in the afterglow of their night together, and rouse them. The three of you start the morning with a bowl. All the townsfolk are beginning to move about, having gotten used to you and the huge spider. Ships are sailing up and down the coast amidst the cries of seagulls. You take a long sniff of the Entwife branch, and smell all sorts of things: ashes, pine, sweet apples, salt, dirt, sand, and some spicy smell you can't identify. "Whiskers, my dude," you ask, "help me find the Entwives." "Hell yeah man, that tree said she'd marry me." You give him some side-eye but let him join your party. The seagull you sent to Cair Andros returns with a message. To C we fought them at the walls. cant get out but they cant get in. eagles snatching dudes. Alatar is a huge dick. lots of lightning and thunder. some reinforcements landed but more sank. Rimguard and Johnny Five Coins commanding the walls. more Easterlings keep landing. Borlas is sick from a poison arrow, but i treated him, he should be fine unless we all get hosed and die. i'm gonna go out to fight Alatar tomorrow Rad You can go any direction. >_
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Jun 1, 2020 03:51
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Reply to Radagast "Cool good luck bro" and then continue south along the road.
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Jun 1, 2020 19:10
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You write up a message to Rad wishing him well in his duel and send it off with the seagull, to whom you give an edible as payment. Your party starts off down the coast road. There are many fishing and trading boats sailing along. You cross a couple of small rivers that you ford easily and come to the outskirts of the harbor town of Eithel Thurin. Caravans of oliphants, camels and horses are moving north and south. In the town, you, Figgy, and Whiskers blaze up and look around. A young man who seems to be a clothier pushes a cart up to you and offers to sell you very fine looking capes of purple and gold cloth. A young woman leans out of a tavern door and shouts that she has the best wine. A Harad merchant leading a line of camels through town offers to sell you spice. Figgy notes that no one seems afraid of you, or her. Whiskers takes a poo poo in the gutter. It is afternoon. Inventory: pipe, weed, shrooms, antlers, mithril knuckles, greaves, sword, Entwife branch You can go any direction. >_
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Jun 2, 2020 05:10
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Separate Scene: flip a coin and post the result this has nothing to do with Chad, it determines whether Rad dies or not. I will post the outcome at midnight tomorrow perhaps I should clarify that anyone can post their result (once) before EST United States midnight tomorrow Zippy the Bummer fucked around with this message at 10:19 on Jun 2, 2020 |
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Jun 2, 2020 09:51
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Zippy the Bummer posted:Separate Scene: oh poo poo! heads
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Jun 2, 2020 10:07
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Tails
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Jun 2, 2020 13:17
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It landed on the edge and now I can read minds!!!!
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Jun 2, 2020 15:31
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I flipped a coin but it rolled away under the couch 
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Jun 2, 2020 16:05
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Radagast is definitely going to come back and punch us really hard.
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Jun 2, 2020 16:32
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Colonel Cancer posted:I flipped a coin but it rolled away under the couch find the coin and look at it come on son
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Jun 2, 2020 19:24
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Was not expecting to have to roll a D2 to see if a major character dies off-screen, this is epic.
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Jun 2, 2020 19:48
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Oh no, we should have told him that Alatar's weakness is crossbow bolts to the face Also, tails.
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Jun 2, 2020 19:53
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 new map
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Jun 3, 2020 00:20
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50 minutes......
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Jun 3, 2020 04:12
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Heads?
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Jun 3, 2020 14:46
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Tails
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Jun 3, 2020 18:05
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I received Burt's tie-breaking coin toss. -------------------------------------- Beneath the storm clouds that lash the island with rain and hail, Radagast walks, alone, out of the gate of the fortress. Alatar approaches. "Hey you dumbfuck," says Alatar, "been a while since I've seen a furry that wasn't an actual animal." Radagast grabs his scrote. "I've got something furry right here bitch, if you're hungry. You been running around the East banging eagles while the rest of us fought Sauron? gently caress you." Alatar fires a bolt of lightning from his staff, but Rad throws up a mound of earth to block it. The Easterlings charge, and Johnny Five Coins and Rimguard lead a sortie out of the fort to meet them. As the battle rages, Alatar and Radagast exchange staff thrusts, hurling each other about. Alatar draws his sword and swipes Rad's staff in half. Rad draws his dagger and charges, but Alatar paralyzes him with a spell. He stands over Rad, preparing to strike the killing blow, but Borlas, feverishly lurching on the wall, looses a bolt that knocks the staff out of Alatar's hand. Radagast leaps up and thrusts his dagger under the wizard's jaw and up through his skull. Alatar falls dead. His corpse evaporates into a fume that blows away to the east. Dismayed, the Easterlings rout, and many are slaughtered in the shallows of the river as they attempt to reach their boats. Johnny Five Coins is killed fighting the champion of the enemy, and Rimguard takes command of the mercenaries. Radagast collapses, exhausted. ---------------------------- We now return to Chad.
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Jun 3, 2020 19:01
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CROSSBOW!!!!
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Jun 3, 2020 19:11
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You and your party stand in Eithel Thurin, dazed from a night of carousing. The townsfolk are all bustling about and cheering about the great victory. As the three of you smoke your morning bowl, an Oliphant carrying a load of weed and timber walks up to you. She towers over your 20-foot height and eyes you closely, then snatches you up with her trunk close to her face. Her voice booms like thunder as she speaks. "Where in the gently caress have you been?" "Hmm well...lots of places. Do I know you?" "You said you'd be back a hundred years ago. We were going to have a sleep over and share diaries!" "I think you mistake me for someone else. I'm Chad Bradford. I've never been here." The oliphant stares at you with suspicion, while Whiskers and Figgy have a quick hump in a nearby alley. You can't really move. >_
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Jun 4, 2020 22:57
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lol timothy oliphaunt
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Jun 5, 2020 07:57
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tell her you bought some incredible weed that you can share and once she puts you down loving put on those knuckles and dragon uppercut the gently caress outta her. We go by dwarf rules bitch no holding us up. like loving SHORYUKEN. RESPECT AN ENT
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Jun 5, 2020 08:08
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"Look, I have some epic Southfarthing here, better than that ditch weed poo poo you've got," you say. You have a mind to do something with some of that timber, so you offer a trade-- half your weed for some timber. The oliphant hesitates, then sets you down. You exchange wares, as you slip on your mithril knuckles, then leap and punch her in the jaw, breaking her teeth, while Figgy bites her hind leg. The oliphant sinks down to her knees in a tremendous crash, and begins to weep as tears pour in torrents out of her eyes, flooding the street. "We were friends!" she cries, "we were going to sing the Lays of Belariand together!" "Who the gently caress are you talking about?" you shout. "Autumn! Aren't you she??" "I loving told you I am Chad loving Bradford!" A crowd of villagers has gathered around to watch this. Whiskers hikes up his pants. You can go any direction. >_
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Jun 5, 2020 09:15
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an aside: You don't know how to deal with crying women because you're a jerk. As you stand meek and sheepish watching the oliphant weep, the seagull delivers a message. To Fuckface, I'm coming for you bitch. I took your ship and Rimguard with his mercs are sailing downstream. We'll catch up with you in about a week, and then I am going to beat the poo poo out of you. Oh, and I'll keep an eye out for any Entwives, and if I see them I will make sure they know how you have a short little gorilla dick. gently caress you very much, Radagast
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Jun 7, 2020 00:48
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Autumn sounds like an entwife, offer to help find Autumn to make amends for the dragon punch 
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Jun 7, 2020 12:38
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You clear your throat and mutter a stupid apology, and offer to help find Autumn. Figgy and Whiskers stare, totally baked. "In all fairness," you say, "I thought you were going to kill me." The oliphant wipes her eyes in the mud. "Fine, fine. Give me that Southfarthing weed, and I'll give you some timber, and join your party." You exchange wares, and toke up. The oliphant requires quite alot of weed to get high. Then she grabs you with her trunk and hurls you like a javelin hundreds of yards into the sea. You float there for a while, contemplating the many mistakes of your thousand-year life. A pair of mating terns make a nest in one of your antlers. Finally the current brings you back to shore, somewhat south of Eithel Thurin. The fishermen on the beach cuss at you for disturbing the fish. Your party is on the coast road nearby, blazed to all gently caress. You, Figgy, and Whiskers climb onto the oliphant. Inventory: some timber, pipe, weed, shrooms, antlers, mithril knuckles, greaves, sword, terns You can go any direction. >_
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Jun 8, 2020 02:46
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Oh poo poo... I feel really bad about making Chad shoryuken her now. It was a pretty good dragon uppercut though. And we found out that we can at least rely on Figgy to back us up in a fight, even though she is kind of a jerk too. Our whole party is kind of jerks really. I guess Whiskers might not be.BurningCourage posted:Autumn sounds like an entwife, offer to help find Autumn to make amends for the dragon punch lets do this. Get some details about Autumn to see if we can guess where she is, or where she is going. I wonder if we can get some kind of credit with Aragorn for "helping" fight off that invasion too. Maybe send a bird to him or something when we see Rad again
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Jun 8, 2020 03:17
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Your party stomps along the road south. You constantly shout to all passers-by whether or not they have seen any walking trees, other than yourself. Most say they haven't, some say they heard about them up north, probably meaning Fangorn, which is useless information. Fresh water gets more and more scarce and you start to get the munchies. Finally along the trail you encounter a caravan heading north, bearing spices and cloth from Harad. Two merchants say they saw a walking tree in Khand three years ago. Another says they saw one wandering along the coast. A young woman guiding a train of camels claims she saw a tree walking toward the town of Bar Malduin in the east, near the fork of two rivers. The very tired seagull arrives with another message: Hey Fuckstick, arrived at Eithel Thurin. Heard you were here. Ship docked. We all moving south. Hope you're ready for your anus to get kicked through your teeth Rad
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Jun 8, 2020 07:50
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i feel bad about punching our new friend, but good that we're all blazed now. and the terns are chillDeadFatDuckFat posted:lets do this. Get some details about Autumn to see if we can guess where she is, or where she is going. I wonder if we can get some kind of credit with Aragorn for "helping" fight off that invasion too. Maybe send a bird to him or something when we see Rad again this sounds good but keep an eye out for more weed. we're gonna need a lot to keep this oliphant lifted
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Jun 8, 2020 07:53
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So it seems likely that the flaky ent that the oliphant and whiskers met are one and the same. Try and confirm that between the two of them. Also, take a rubbing of your middle finger and send it back to Rad, just to piss him off a bit more because he's a funny little wizard
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Jun 8, 2020 08:37
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DeadFatDuckFat posted:So it seems likely that the flaky ent that the oliphant and whiskers met are one and the same. Try and confirm that between the two of them. Also, take a rubbing of your middle finger and send it back to Rad, just to piss him off a bit more because he's a funny little wizard This is very likely, but how is it that the oliphant recognized us as Autumn? I think it's the entwife branch. Let's ask the oliphant to sniff the ent stick and try and track her by scent.
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Jun 8, 2020 18:40
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:This is very likely, but how is it that the oliphant recognized us as Autumn? I think it's the entwife branch. Let's ask the oliphant to sniff the ent stick and try and track her by scent. Oooo I forgot about the stick, good idea. We will find this sweet pillow talk ent, one way or another. (Its gonna turn out to be a dude. Unless... We are the entwife all along!!!???) DeadFatDuckFat fucked around with this message at 19:05 on Jun 8, 2020 |
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Jun 8, 2020 19:03
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DeadFatDuckFat posted:Oooo I forgot about the stick, good idea. We will find this sweet pillow talk ent, one way or another. Nature finds a way!
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Jun 8, 2020 20:15
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An ent, with a mirkwood spider in its branches, walking an oliphant like a bloodhound, is my new favorite Tolkienian image of all time. Sorry previous winner, dwarves breaking Bilbo's plates and singing a song about it, your perfectly timed storybook appeal is still no match for this CYOA's glory.
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Jun 8, 2020 22:49
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There should be a river further south from which we can drink fast and deep. If I've learned anything from television it's that trees need water.
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Jun 8, 2020 23:55
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You hail a young merchant passing by and ask him to take a drawing of your middle finger to one Radagast, paying him with a shroom. Coming out of your stoned haze briefly, you remember that you have Whisker's Entwife branch, and ask the oliphant about it. "Yes, that's her," she says. "I told you," says Whiskers. "Well, where is she?" "If I knew," says the oliphant, "I would have found her already, moron." She grumbles a bit. "I thought she was my friend..." You can smell the fresh water of a stream to the south, near the town of Nen Falastir, and more water to the east, over the rocky sand hills. There is a great cloud of dust and sand on the horizon behind you. The lumbering gait of the oliphant gradually lulls you to sleep. Inventory: some timber, pipe, weed, Entwife branch, shrooms, antlers, mithril knuckles, greaves, sword, terns You can go any direction. >_
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Jun 9, 2020 00:10
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 14:01 |
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> go south We should probably find some cover from the conflagration brewing over the horizon. I guess Radagast brought some friends?
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Jun 9, 2020 00:22
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