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Each post in this thread will become a part of the established canon for our universe, silly or serious. Feel free to really flex your creative brain, or just come up with stupid bullshit that makes no sense. Make up alien species, spaceships, intergalactic wars, space taxes, and whatever you can think of. The ground basics of our first universe: 1. Intergalactic Civilization 2. ALIENS exist 3. FTL travel 4. Potential for magic bullshit When we get tired of our collective creation, we can reboot a new universe with a different set of rules.
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Apr 17, 2020 01:40
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I'm putting forward that we have an alien race of ants, and all of them are actually Aunts to one particularly unlucky worker drone who gets their cheeks pulled and lots of kisses they didn't ask for and every birthday they get a card with two dollars in it and some terrible pun about precisely how many years old the drone is, no judgements this is just how their biological cycle runs and when the drone finally dies another will be born to start the process anew with approximately seventy nine trillion birthday cakes sent for a party they are way to young to ever remember attending.
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Apr 17, 2020 01:57
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ship travel from one end of a typical galaxy to another can take months; travel between them can take years. a person with penitent skin can travel any distance they can conceive, in a single great step. but only a person who feels guilt for having killed another, can take on the new skin. and the skin will not let anyone take a great step who does so with any intent to injure, to kill, or to exploit. the skin moves by power of shame and the need for redemption. a penitent walks worlds as a missionary, an explorer, a fugitive vagabond—never a conquerer. never a profiteer.
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Apr 17, 2020 01:59
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Aliens really like anime, especially Bleachreignofevil posted:I'm putting forward that we have an alien race of ants, and all of them are actually Aunts to one particularly unlucky worker drone who gets their cheeks pulled and lots of kisses they didn't ask for and every birthday they get a card with two dollars in it and some terrible pun about precisely how many years old the drone is, no judgements this is just how their biological cycle runs and when the drone finally dies another will be born to start the process anew with approximately seventy nine trillion birthday cakes sent for a party they are way to young to ever remember attending. These guys really like Hunter x Hunter however.
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Apr 17, 2020 02:14
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The technology for immortality is abundant and simple to obtain but is only used on good dogs because every other sapient being generally kills itself after a few hundred years anyway.
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Apr 17, 2020 02:31
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The pre-eminent race of aliens who colonized most inhabitable systems found out that the universe really is, in a sense, in the eye of a giant, and that there are infinite macro- and micro-universes in both directions. This became the source of a civilization-spanning existential crisis, and over a period of ten millennia the majority of their worlds sealed themselves off one by one to enter a stasis, hoping that they can be awakened when they have the technology to shift to the fabled last plane of existence. Less advanced and more authentically, even heroically absurd races have since taken their place, although most worlds are still closed to them due to powerful technology of the sleeping ancients.
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Apr 17, 2020 02:31
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humans are the only people who have demonstrated any capacity to learn the languages of other species. without humans acting as intermediaries or at least translators, no one can understand what another species is saying. humans who are willing and able to translate cultural matter—stories, histories, animes—are treasured guests on many worlds, for their ability to offer access to new perspectives, to ideas unthought and unthinkable by the native population
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Apr 17, 2020 02:35
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I agree. Liberal arts majors should be employable in this universe.
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Apr 17, 2020 02:37
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Over the millennia terran civilizations have fought dozens of wars to defend the most precious resource in the universe: garlic. Apparently it's the best spice in all creation and is a rare bedrock of all carbon based cuisine. The city of Rome was ransomed for 50 cloves.
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Apr 17, 2020 02:41
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There have been many ways of war over the centuries, from hurling fusion-tipped rockets to bomb pumped lasers. Absolutely no-one will pick a fight with the Terrans anymore, because they've just started throwing large rocks back at significant fractions of light speed.
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Apr 17, 2020 02:47
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It's a one in a million shot but no one's willing to take that chance.
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Apr 17, 2020 02:49
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deathbysnusnu posted:The technology for immortality is abundant and simple to obtain but is only used on good dogs because every other sapient being generally kills itself after a few hundred years anyway. dogs have spread all over the cosmos, and are perhaps the most familiar single species in existence. even mortal dogs have proven adaptable to every world that supports life. dogs may not be able to live in every biome on every planet—but any planet that supports life will have some regions dogs can, at minimum, scrape by in, establishing a stable breeding population sometimes dogs are present on a world before humans, or ant documented intelligence, arrives there. this is generally not commented on, but has never been adequately explained
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Apr 17, 2020 02:49
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Liquid Communism posted:There have been many ways of war over the centuries, from hurling fusion-tipped rockets to bomb pumped lasers. there are no more humans on earth and no one is quite sure what species evolved to become the modern terrans
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Apr 17, 2020 02:52
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Squizzle posted:dogs have spread all over the cosmos, and are perhaps the most familiar single species in existence. even mortal dogs have proven adaptable to every world that supports life. dogs may not be able to live in every biome on every planet—but any planet that supports life will have some regions dogs can, at minimum, scrape by in, establishing a stable breeding population One theory is that dogs have seeded interstellar distances when several immortality enhanced dogs have been launched at escape velocity by meteor strikes and have been content to pant as the stars go by and contemplate the nature of what a good boy is until making re-entry on a new world.
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Apr 17, 2020 02:54
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The most popular luxury vacation destination in our galaxy is a giant series of pools in a zero-G sphere in the center if a star. The outer walls are visible at all times and are partially transparent so that you can see the natural colors of the star but it blocks heat and harmful rays.
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Apr 17, 2020 02:55
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deathbysnusnu posted:One theory is that dogs have seeded interstellar distances when several immortality enhanced dogs have been launched at escape velocity by meteor strikes and have been content to pant as the stars go by and contemplate the nature of what a good boy is until making re-entry on a new world. Although the only way dogs could have reached some of the worlds they've been found on is through the use of a penitent skin, positing the disturbing Bad Boy theory.
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Apr 17, 2020 02:58
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The menace of heterosexuality has been defeated. Post-scarcity society moves beyond materialism and pursues the highest spiritual pursuit: being gay. Scientists, having solved all of society's problems, now seek to uplift lower life forms and inanimate objects by imbuing them with gay energy and animacy.
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Apr 17, 2020 06:25
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cumshitter posted:The menace of heterosexuality has been defeated. Post-scarcity society moves beyond materialism and pursues the highest spiritual pursuit: being gay. Scientists, having solved all of society's problems, now seek to uplift lower life forms and inanimate objects by imbuing them with gay energy and animacy. Be gay do crimes is the standard human philosophy
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Apr 17, 2020 11:10
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I get a planet pregnant on accident. Her family isn't very happy with me
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Apr 17, 2020 14:56
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deathbysnusnu posted:The technology for immortality is abundant and simple to obtain but is only used on good dogs because every other sapient being generally kills itself after a few hundred years anyway. Planets are reaped of their dead and bones for an unsatiated empire of dog eternals. Entire wars are fought, just so there can be enough dead for more bones
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Apr 17, 2020 15:03
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the largest civilisation in the galaxy is run by a cruel violent military dictatorship. their great leader is worshipped as a god and his image is displayed on all ships and army banners. however when they get to earth it turns out the ceremonial headdress of the grand ruler looks pretty much exactly like the smiling poop emoji. this initial undermining of their authority causes the empire to be defeated as it quickly turns out for the last few centuries they have been largely coasting on their ability to project an intimidating image to naive civilisations
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Apr 17, 2020 15:10
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWHrl0vEHDg
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Apr 17, 2020 15:14
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deathbysnusnu posted:One theory is that dogs have seeded interstellar distances when several immortality enhanced dogs have been launched at escape velocity by meteor strikes and have been content to pant as the stars go by and contemplate the nature of what a good boy is until making re-entry on a new world. 
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Apr 17, 2020 15:15
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There is at least one alien race that is sexy af and down to clown.
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Apr 17, 2020 15:33
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Cat Army
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There is a planet of sentient bovines. They mostly hang out and participate in the milk and grass-based economy but don't try to gently caress with them because they have big spaceships full of lasers. The lasers are mounted on horns that can swing in all directions. A splinter group of cows have turned to space piracy.
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Apr 17, 2020 19:33
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resource-starved planet that survives as a trade hub because there are a series of tornado-esque storms that produce small wormholes which leave behind valuable materials
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Apr 17, 2020 20:24
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Mooey Cow posted:There is a planet of sentient bovines. They mostly hang out and participate in the milk and grass-based economy but don't try to gently caress with them because they have big spaceships full of lasers. The lasers are mounted on horns that can swing in all directions. A splinter group of cows have turned to space piracy. 
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Apr 18, 2020 04:41
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Macnult posted:resource-starved planet that survives as a trade hub because there are a series of tornado-esque storms that produce small wormholes which leave behind valuable materials 
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Apr 18, 2020 14:21
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Good to know the Switch will have a long life style since it is the best console.
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Apr 18, 2020 14:26
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Very high level galactic kingdoms pay tribute to one another by smashing stars into one another, creating resource rich systems that will gravitate toward the new megastars
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May 5, 2020 15:46
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