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Schweinhund
Oct 23, 2004



Han Solo should've been the main character of the original trilogy. Harrison Ford is way cooler than Mark Hamill. When they first board the Millennium Falcon, Han should've turned to Luke, put his hand on his face and pushed him down the loading ramp. Then the door closes behind him and he says "Smell ya later, farm boy". Then the Millennium Falcon peels out and blows dust in Luke's face, and Han goes off to rescue the princess.

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Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


ROTJ is one of the weaker films in the series. OT sanctity be damned; a really good fight scene (Luke vs. Emperor + Vader) doesn't make for a good movie (Maul vs. Jinn + Kenobi proves it).

DurosKlav
Jun 13, 2003

Enter your name pilot!


Resting Lich Face posted:

ROTJ is one of the weaker films in the series. OT sanctity be damned; a really good fight scene (Luke vs. Emperor + Vader) doesn't make for a good movie (Maul vs. Jinn + Kenobi proves it).

On the other hand ROTJ is the second best movie of the 9. Best fight scene in the series, and best space battle in the series, best aliens in the series(Jabbas Palace). The Ewok fight is alright if you look at it in way of they were only distractions really. Eventually the Empire was going to overwhelm Han and Leia at the bunker. They were never going to be able to get in and Chewie was the real savior when he stole the AT-ST.

Barudak
May 7, 2007



No matter how much you degenerate headcannon shippers want it, the letter B isnt cannon in Star Wars and never will be

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Wookie probably tastes better than Porg.

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012

Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.



Fun Shoe

I donít like sand either.

Barudak
May 7, 2007



Whatever the name of that planet that got blown up in Rise of the Skywalker was called deserved it

SRQ
Nov 9, 2009


Return of the Jedi would've been better as either two movies or cutting out the first half entirely and not having Solo at all.

of course they were obliged to.

e: also the ewoks thing is fine as more of a "they were surprised and it broke unit cohesion" vs" they all loving died to tiny rodents"

the movie makes it pretty clear the empire got it's poo poo together eventually but it was to late, they broke into the back door bunker (the real stupidity was having a back door)

SRQ fucked around with this message at 08:17 on Apr 20, 2020

egon_beeblebrox
Feb 29, 2008

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.



They kind of lose Han's character in ROTJ. He's no longer really the Han from the first two, he's ONLY there to make sarcastic, know-it-all quips. He's not a whole character anymore.

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

She's delusional,
"where's god", etc.
Completely suicidal.
One day she snaps.
She wants to kill herself
but she realizes that
teen suicide is out this year
and homicide is a much healthier therapeutic expression.


I kind of like Star Wars.

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

She's delusional,
"where's god", etc.
Completely suicidal.
One day she snaps.
She wants to kill herself
but she realizes that
teen suicide is out this year
and homicide is a much healthier therapeutic expression.


egon_beeblebrox posted:

They kind of lose Han's character in ROTJ. He's no longer really the Han from the first two, he's ONLY there to make sarcastic, know-it-all quips. He's not a whole character anymore.

This is 100% Harrison Ford collecting his paycheck and thinking, "Man I can't wait to get this over with, I'm a megastar now, I don't have to be playing second fiddle to friggin' Mark Hamil anymore, yeesh."

Schweinhund
Oct 23, 2004



Palpatine was a good leader. You can't have order in a galaxy with all that bureaucracy.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 8 days!


Ramrod XTreme

Darth Vader sucked at his job.
Lost the data tapes.
Lost or fought to a draw in in some capacity in every conflict he's seen in.

Even as Anakin he sucks unless he's fighting alongside someone better than he is or he's fighting things remarkably underclassed against him like sand people or literally defenseless children.

You'd think the Emperor would notice his track record, "clouded by the darkside" or not and realize that he's batting like < .100 even by the time he asks him to try and get him Luke, which presumably is why he got and kept Vader as his apprentice in the first place (assuming the Emperor can somewhat see the future or what have you).
So he fails at that too in the worst way possible as well, over-all he sucks at everything, even the whole "bringing balance to the force" crap doesn't work for him.

Overall the guy won a pod-race.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Spinning my failures into a higher paying government position.... That's a good trick!

TatoPancakes
Jun 5, 2019

the brainwaves are thinking


Schweinhund posted:

Palpatine was a good leader. You can't have order in a galaxy with all that bureaucracy.

it's easy to maintain order when everyone is dead or a slave

Sombrerotron
Aug 1, 2004

Release my children! My hat is truly great and mighty.



Atton is an awful Han Solo wannabe and his grand exit in the cut ending is eye-rollingly bad (which I suppose is why it got cut, but someone still bothered to write and record that dialogue anyway) and I'm glad he's dead.

Sodomy Hussein
Oct 9, 2005

Everything is subject to the needs of intelligence, for geniuses like me. If we actually solve problems, people won't need me and people like me, and this is a travesty without end. You have to squeeze the poor so they know their place, and you fucking commies forget that.


LOTR supplanted Star Wars as the best Star Wars, complete with its own lovely prequel trilogy that is still somehow better than the actual Star Wars prequels

Disney's project to turn Star Wars into MCU #2 probably would have been saved by a two-hour movie of Emperor Sheev being the Senate.

Dapper_Swindler
Feb 14, 2012

Shitposting 24/7 without regrets. my parents would be proud.


the republic was probably hosed and heading for a civil war even if the "sith grand plan" wasn't a thing.

episode 1 is the "best" prequel even though it feels like the climaxes of like 5 or 6 movies stitched together and it doesn't work. AOC and ROJ are both the worst on different levels. the Sequel trillogy is a mixed bag and it sucks that they never did poo poo with finn because i liked him in 7 and than he does jack poo poo in the other two. 8 has some cool ideas/concepts/scenes but much like the prequels it either fucks them up or favors themes over story. that being said i like sad broken luke and i like the whole kylo/rey/snoke poo poo and parts of the finn/rose thing. 9 was giant thrown together mess because JJ was trying to pull an ENDGAME with no material and pissed away the good stuff from 8. it also misses what made 7 fun/good. also the retconing of kylo doing bad poo poo is dumb but it does have some ok/good moments.

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


John Lennon should have played C3-PO

FuturePastNow
May 19, 2014



College Slice

Barudak posted:

No matter how much you degenerate headcannon shippers want it, the letter B isnt cannon in Star Wars and never will be

Then why is there a B-Wing, huh?

indigi
Jul 20, 2004

picture me workin McDonald's!
I'd rather pull a mac on you
sorry Ms. Jackson, but I'm packin


Pillbug

Tie fighters look a little stupid

Nix Panicus
Feb 25, 2007



Barudak posted:

No matter how much you degenerate headcannon shippers want it, the letter B isnt cannon in Star Wars and never will be

B wings exist and are cannon. How would they have a B wing without a letter B?

Also the X wing is one of the laziest designs in space cinema. Its just an airplane, but in space, with added wings so it looks more spacey

Nix Panicus
Feb 25, 2007



Big Beef City posted:

So he fails at that too in the worst way possible as well, over-all he sucks at everything, even the whole "bringing balance to the force" crap doesn't work for him.

He did play a key role in keeping the emperor alive against Sam Jackson, which allowed the emperor to genocide the jedi down to two people. So two sith, two jedi, looks like balance to me.

Now why the jedi, who were thousands strong and were an integral part of galactic governance, would ever want to be balanced with the sith, a reclusive order limited to two people at a time, is beyond me

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


The funeral scenes were all wrong. There should have been a song by something like thrid eye blind, they should have happened in the middle of the movie, and there should have been like scenes of characters talking and being real. Everyone should be dressed in earth funeral clothes. They should hold it at a presbetyrian church

Barudak
May 7, 2007



FuturePastNow posted:

Then why is there a B-Wing, huh?

The B-wing is named as part of the series that gave us A-Wings and X-wings, all of which use galactic standard nomenclature from their alphabet and are localized using the roman alphabet when you view star wars. B isnt cannon, how many times do I have to say this???

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




I like the old Droids and Ewoks cartoons.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riIOiNq0RHk

Disco Pope
Dec 6, 2004

Spoiled Victorian Goon.


FunkyAl posted:

John Lennon should have played C3-PO



Would have really sold all the scenes where he slaps and emotionally abuses his partner before being venerated as a god by stupid rats.

egon_beeblebrox
Feb 29, 2008

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.



George Lucas seems like a nice man who would rather not make Star Wars movies

Disco Pope
Dec 6, 2004

Spoiled Victorian Goon.


egon_beeblebrox posted:

George Lucas seems like a nice man who would rather not make Star Wars movies

I really dont think he had any plans beyond A New Hope, which is a perfectly complete movie and would be well regarded, even if there was never another Star War ever.

Schweinhund
Oct 23, 2004



The best way to watch Star Wars for the first time is episode 9 first, then 1-8.

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


I am George Lucas.

Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

I found my kendo stick, bitch!


Lipstick Apathy

The only thing worth a poo poo in the entire prequel trilogy was the yoda fight

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

red bird

Attack of the Clones is a decently passable and fun action adventure movie if you donít hold it to the ridiculous and utterly worthless and meaningless standard of being a Star Wars movie.

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

Cat Army


Fallen Rib

TLJ is simply middle of the road. It is not the greatest star wars ever nor is it the worst star wars ever.

DemoneeHo
Nov 8, 2017

Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca


Remember when Mace Windu punched the poo poo out of all those droids in the first Clone Wars cartoon? That was rad. The prequels should have entirely consisted of him punching everything to death.

banned from Starbucks
Jul 18, 2004


Rise of Skywalker owns because space wizard Sheev is cooler in every way than boring as gently caress snoke and sheev should have won and brought back the empire and dumping all over TLJ was the best thing to ever happen to a star war

Sjs00
Jun 29, 2013



Barudak posted:

Whatever the name of that planet that got blown up in Rise of the Skywalker was called deserved it

Battlestar?

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


Greedo BEGGED for death

indigi
Jul 20, 2004

picture me workin McDonald's!
I'd rather pull a mac on you
sorry Ms. Jackson, but I'm packin


Pillbug

TLJ is a good movie hidden inside a longer, worse movie

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Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


indigi posted:

TLJ is a good movie hidden inside a longer, worse movie

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