Come up with Star Wars opinions that may or may not be terrible

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Sci-Fi Wi-Fi > Come up with Star Wars opinions that may or may not be terrible

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Darth Vader sucked at his job.
Lost the data tapes.
Lost or fought to a draw in in some capacity in every conflict he's seen in.

Even as Anakin he sucks unless he's fighting alongside someone better than he is or he's fighting things remarkably underclassed against him like sand people or literally defenseless children.

You'd think the Emperor would notice his track record, "clouded by the darkside" or not and realize that he's batting like < .100 even by the time he asks him to try and get him Luke, which presumably is why he got and kept Vader as his apprentice in the first place (assuming the Emperor can somewhat see the future or what have you).
So he fails at that too in the worst way possible as well, over-all he sucks at everything, even the whole "bringing balance to the force" crap doesn't work for him.

Overall the guy won a pod-race.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2020 17:12

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# ¿ Sep 18, 2024 10:19

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Ferrule posted:

Opinion: Jar Jar was Essential

Reason: He's a loving dipshit. We know that. He got kicked out of his secret clan. When Qui_Gon and Ewan McGregor land on Naboo they need to warn the queen and all that about the impending invasion, an invasion that administration is unequipped to fend off. But Jar Jar mentions in his goofy patois that he knows where theres a big secret army. The only reason Naboo was able to fight back against the Trade Federales is because the Jedi convinced the Gungans that they and the Naboo-ese are in a symbiotic relationship, so Boss Hog/Nass lends his army to help fight the droids.

It's stupid and convoluted and has a lot of blubbering and tongue jokes but basically if Jar Jar never called the Boss Fish's wife a name he wouldn't have been ostracized and thus the the Jedi and Jane Foster never would have known about an army let alone utilized it to help protect their water city.

Also, since Palpatine's failed on Naboo, he then plays on Jar Jar's kindergarten intellect to convince him to call for a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Vellum (because okay for some dumb reason everyone thought Jar Jar would be a good senator and would act accordingly in the queens stead while she was off fighting bugs and 3-eyed cats) which then gives the Republic over to the Empire.

Jar Jar was important and his dumb antics are what got him kicked out of his secret water club thus putting into place both good and bad things.

Star Wars is dumb and I love it.

I'll take a jr bacon double and a large frosty.

Nothing in this says that Jar-Jar wasn't swayed by the dark side to infiltrate and sabotage the gungan army in the first place, and failing in that, insulted the queen to get kicked out, found the Jedi, and manipulated them to fight each other, and upon losing THAT, returned to his master in the Senate to do his bidding once more.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2020 20:53

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Sodomy Hussein posted:

No no no, Jar-Jar was the Sith master

"have you heard the tragedy of Darth Jaridious, the Unwise? I suppose not. They don't teach that kind of ...thing. ...Anywhere. ... ...anyway. He said once, 'Mooey mooey. I love you.'".
"Mooey mooey I love you?"
"Mooey. Mooey. I love you."
"But what does it-"
"Shh, my new apprentice. For now, yousa should follow me. Okeeday?"

# ¿ Apr 28, 2020 21:08

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