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Ralph Hurley
Aug 3, 2009

:barf::sweep::zoid:



Someone left a small cabinet on the curb a few blocks from my house on trash day.
It didn’t look too hosed up so I loaded it in my car and brought it home. This single notebook page was inside.
It lists a series of ten events, like the table of contents of some middle school pulp novel.
I’m not sure who “He” is in this story. Is it Mike? Chapter 11 was left unwritten. Did he ever manage to get out of that headlock?




1. Lea say u harrass her he yells u trippin
2. He said I go over Sims house I said u gonna hit he yelled no dang
3. He said I swear I not touch her
4. Told Lea how about Song and said shut up Mike
5. I said u looking for Rosemary and Song said I not looking for that bitch
6. He said he kill her seriously
7. He flipped chair in a fit of rage
8. I said u Rosemary go up to the mountains together he yell no dang
9. She said u called her house crying he said why u listen to her
10. Black kid put him into headlock
11. :iiam:

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Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy
Bringing other people's trash into your home seems like a great idea at the moment.

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

This guy sounds like a real jerk. Good thing a black kid put him in a headlock. Way to go black kid.

Ralph Hurley
Aug 3, 2009

:barf::sweep::zoid:



Sunswipe posted:

Bringing other people's trash into your home seems like a great idea at the moment.



I found it like two years ago and kept the note. I just re discovered it among some other papers when I was cleaning out some stuff.

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015

Post the cabinet. I want to know what “not too hosed up” looks like

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

Ralph Hurley posted:

I found it like two years ago and kept the note. I just re discovered it among some other papers when I was cleaning out some stuff.

Its honestly OK. Every thread in GBS is getting poo poo up by people who would rather give you COVID related advice than comment on the actual content of the thread.

Nastyman
Jul 11, 2007

There they sit
at the foot of the mountain
Taking hits
of the sacred smoke
Fire rips at their lungs
Holy mountain take us away

Chrs posted:

Post the cabinet. I want to know what “not too hosed up” looks like

Pete Doherty on a good day

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015

The_Continental posted:

Its honestly OK. Every thread in GBS is getting poo poo up by people who would rather give you COVID related advice than comment on the actual content of the thread.

Yeah I’m getting loving bored of everything being about Covid now

President in Residence
May 12, 2003


Have you tried emailing the included address?

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Pretty sure this is one of those choose your own adventure things

I vote for "he yelled let go my head gently caress"

Mr.Chill
Aug 29, 2006
This is hilarious. Someone needs to draw it as a comic.

Ralph Hurley
Aug 3, 2009

:barf::sweep::zoid:



Chrs posted:

Post the cabinet. I want to know what “not too hosed up” looks like

The cabinet is now extremely hosed up as it was used outdoors as a place to put plants and keep a few garden items. I didn’t expect it to disintegrate entirely when it got wet. Oh well.

President in Residence posted:

Have you tried emailing the included address?

I don’t think it would be a good idea to contact a neighborhood kid out of the blue to ask about some drama that may have happened years ago or ended badly.

Plethora posted:

This is hilarious. Someone needs to draw it as a comic.

I might give it a shot.

Aishlinn
Mar 31, 2011

This might hurt a bit..


Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I don't think!
Ham Wrangler
Well, how about song??

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Chrs posted:

Yeah I’m getting loving bored of everything being about Covid now

Same, kinda hard to police given it touches every facet of everyone’s life. Seriously open a qqcs so it can be discussed across the forums I’m certain it’s an annoyance

Any ways it sounds like this was some sort of middle school sexual assault? Hard to parse that poo poo.

Smiling Mandrill
Jan 19, 2015

Might be rap lyrics?

VikingSkull
Jan 23, 2017
Look Viking you're a trash Trump supporter what the fuck makes you think you can have an avatar that isn't what I decide? Shut your fucking trap and go away. Your trolling is tiresome and just shits up the forum.
I think my uncle got wounded in No Dang Song

alpaca diseases
May 19, 2009

Martman posted:

Pretty sure this is one of those choose your own adventure things

I vote “He crew yell worldstar”

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Burt Sexual posted:

Same, kinda hard to police given it touches every facet of everyone’s life. Seriously open a qqcs so it can be discussed across the forums I’m certain it’s an annoyance

Any ways it sounds like this was some sort of middle school sexual assault? Hard to parse that poo poo.

Mike is the author.
He's describing the actions of the subject in the past tense.
Lea, Sims, Song, and Rosemary are other people involved.

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


If I had to guess, its notes to take to court. To testify in front of a judge or do a deposition or something

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Lea said you harrassed her. He yelled "You trippin!".
He said "I'm going over to Sims' house." I asked, "Are you gonna hit?", he said "No, dang!"*
He said that he swore he didn't touch her.
I said to Lea, "How aboout Song?" and she told me to shut up.
I asked her "Are you looking for Rosemary?" and Song said she wasn't looking for that bitch.
[When he found out] He said he'd kill her, seriously. He fipped a chair he was so mad.
I tried to calm him by saying "You and Rosemary go to the mountains together", but he yelled "No, Dang!"
I told him "She said you called her house...crying." He asked me why I believed her.
Later he was assaulted.

*I dunno if they mean "u gon hit" as in "are you going to hit them" or "are you gonna hit that" as in have sex with them, I also don't think it matters. As the man says, No, Dang! Either way.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Big Beef City posted:

Lea said you harrassed her. He yelled "You trippin!".
He said "I'm going over to Sims' house." I asked, "Are you gonna hit?", he said "No, dang!"*
He said that he swore he didn't touch her.
I said to Lea, "How aboout Song?" and she told me to shut up.
I asked her "Are you looking for Rosemary?" and Song said she wasn't looking for that bitch.
[When he found out] He said he'd kill her, seriously. He fipped a chair he was so mad.
I tried to calm him by saying "You and Rosemary go to the mountains together", but he yelled "No, Dang!"
I told him "She said you called her house...crying." He asked me why I believed her.
Later he was assaulted.

*I dunno if they mean "u gon hit" as in "are you going to hit them" or "are you gonna hit that" as in have sex with them, I also don't think it matters. As the man says, No, Dang! Either way.

Lol that helps thanks for the breakdown

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I don't think!
Ham Wrangler
I like the way you work it
No Dang
I got to bag it up

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

Ralph Hurley posted:




I don’t think it would be a good idea to contact a neighborhood kid out of the blue to ask about some drama that may have happened years ago or ended badly.




Just get a burner email address like rosemarystomper58 and email him. Let us know the result, we're losing sleep over it.

Rivethead
Feb 22, 2008

One day while riding the light-rail I found a note with "Kill all, KILL MEGATRON". That is my story.

Ralph Hurley
Aug 3, 2009

:barf::sweep::zoid:



Without potentially doxxing anyone, I will say the email address contains what appears to be a first and last name, and it’s not Mike or any other name in the story.

But there is no way of knowing for sure if that email address belongs to the author, or some other contact of his, or whether it’s a real or fictional name. Google doesn’t turn up anything relevant.

Ralph Hurley
Aug 3, 2009

:barf::sweep::zoid:



Big Beef City’s breakdown makes the most sense so far

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001

Rivethead posted:

One day while riding the light-rail I found a note with "Kill all, KILL MEGATRON". That is my story.
How did Starscream fit in a light rail car?

Edit: Did the "light rail car" have a suspicious number of flipped-in space shuttle parts in its interior? That may explain it.

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

mine name is almost in the title of this thread so i feel i should post.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag
With a rebel yell,
He cried No, No, Dang

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
dang, or no dang. there is no drat

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!

Ralph Hurley posted:

Someone left a small cabinet on the curb a few blocks from my house on trash day.
It didn’t look too hosed up so I loaded it in my car and brought it home. This single notebook page was inside.
It lists a series of ten events, like the table of contents of some middle school pulp novel.
I’m not sure who “He” is in this story. Is it Mike? Chapter 11 was left unwritten. Did he ever manage to get out of that headlock?




1. Lea say u harrass her he yells u trippin
2. He said I go over Sims house I said u gonna hit he yelled no dang
3. He said I swear I not touch her
4. Told Lea how about Song and said shut up Mike
5. I said u looking for Rosemary and Song said I not looking for that bitch
6. He said he kill her seriously
7. He flipped chair in a fit of rage
8. I said u Rosemary go up to the mountains together he yell no dang
9. She said u called her house crying he said why u listen to her
10. Black kid put him into headlock
11. :iiam:
That looks like a incident report for someone being assaulted. A handwritten one, obviously.

Ez8
Aug 5, 2004

Big Beef City posted:


*I dunno if they mean "u gon hit" as in "are you going to hit them" or "are you gonna hit that" as in have sex with them, I also don't think it matters. As the man says, No, Dang! Either way.

Unless "No dang!" is meant as an emphatic answer in the affirmative as in "No poo poo!" or "Verily!"
We must proceed with caution.

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

Joosoo20 Yelled No Dang

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof
A monk asked Joshu, a Chinese Zen master: "Has a dog Buddha-nature or not?"

Joshu answered: "Mu." [Mu is the negative symbol in Chinese, meaning "No Dang."]

gbs but from 2004
Oct 24, 2004

wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Hell Yeah posted:

i feel i should post.

no dont

dads_work_files
May 14, 2008

important_document.avi

When I used to clean windows, more than a decade ago now, I was up the ladder and found a usb stick half-buried by wet leaves in the gutter. I took it home and plugged it into my Alienware laptop but the usb stick had no files on it. I threw it away, and played Far Cry 1 on my laptop. The framerate was poor and I was fragged by a trigen.

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015

DarkSoulsTantrum posted:

With a rebel yell,
He cried No, No, Dang

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

VikingSkull posted:

I think my uncle got wounded in No Dang Song

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BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag
No Dang?
No, Dang!

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