Emi Sakura Promotions Thread: There Is No God Here

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Emi Sakura Promotions Thread: There Is No God Here

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Who is the Ace of Choco Pro?
	Akki
	Mei-chan
	Sakura-san
	Anton
	Chris Brookes until literally anyone on this show beats him
	Yunamon

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

ChocoPro Vs. HEAT-UP: HEAT-UP Side is airing in about an hour
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHmQrcEXjkY

As a novelty, this will have been filmed with a proper camera and actually edited.

# ? Apr 6, 2021 13:37

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 11:19

a cyborg mug: Mar 8, 2010

If you bought a bouquet for #100, check your email for your photo! If you can't find it in the Japanese-language email, it's the Google Drive link. Just got mine

# ? Apr 6, 2021 13:43

J-Ro: Jul 26, 2005; Child Of The Revolution

a cyborg mug posted:

If you bought a bouquet for #100, check your email for your photo! If you can't find it in the Japanese-language email, it's the Google Drive link. Just got mine

Yeahhh, got the Day 1 photos and they ruled. Honestly I still haven't gotten over this tho (and the accompanying song):

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Apr 7, 2021 06:30

TV Zombie: Sep 6, 2011; Burying all the trauma from past nights
Burying my anger in the past

:/ Still waiting on photos.

# ? Apr 7, 2021 17:34

Neodoomium: Jun 20, 2001; You are now hearing this
noise in your head.

I asked Emi tonight how she prepares for match-day when her back is so consistently bad.

She said "I just hold my breath most of the time and try not to think about it"

Which is unbelievably tough.

# ? Apr 8, 2021 05:04

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

CHOCOPRO #104: CHOCOMANIA DAY 1: CHIE HEATS IT UP IN RING AT THE DOJO
WATCH LIVE ON YOUTUBE HERE
Time: 10am (JST) / 2am (BST) / 6pm (PDT) / 9pm (EDT)
STARTS IN AN HOUR

Super Fan Dogglesnake Match Card from Reddit

quote:

BLACK COMANECI (Otoki & Antonio Honda) VS TamTamRinRin (RinRin & TAMURA)

COMANECI! The villains have returned in force! When Anton defeated Mei in a very fair and not at all controversial manner, he demanded a title shot for Black Comaneci against the Best Bros. But it won't be that easy! He'll be fighting alongside Tokiko �Otoki� Kirihara as the Master of Black (She is the Master of Comaneci) in order to prove that they deserve their shot! While Otoki is usually a vicious fighter, Anton tends to bring out another level from the Super Model Six-Pack! What evil and bizarre tactics do they have cooked up? They're going to be fighting against TAMURA & RinRin (The Team known as TamTamRinRin!) who are musically inclined...and also quite dangerous! TAMURA tends to bend the rules himself, so seeing him go up against another team willing to do so could result in some serious shenanigans. Don't forget he's a Shoot Style Master, himself! Lots of Masters in this one...Speaking of which, the Master of Ceremonies, MC RinRin, will be bringing her flashy Sumo-infused abilities to bear against the villains. Who will come out on top? Who will stoop the lowest? I hope RinRin brings her tambourine!

Mei Suruga VS Sayaka

Mei Suruga, unlike Sayaka, has a TON of epithets. She is called the Red Devil due to her Goblin potential, Genius because of her ring IQ, Apple Girl (Big Apple in the States) because...she loves apples! This wrestling prodigy is famous for her revival of the lost art of Pin Specialization, but she's no slouch in the submissions department, either! (Watch for her cruel finisher: Lucifer!) She'll be taking on the Monster Slayer of the Fourth Generation! What monsters does she slay, you ask? The Video Game Variety! Sayaka is an avid gamer, a Rising Star in both the physical and digital world! When she is not hanging out with Minoru Suzuki, she's training her mind & body for battle (on any plain of existence)! Despite her low level of training so far, she is marvelous in the ring. How will Mei handle that crisp dropkicking style? Sayaka could easily target her head!

Chie Koishikawa & Tetsuya Izuchi VS Baliyan Akki & Minoru Fujita

One Half EGG TART, One half the HEAT-UP Universal Tag Champs! �Too Much Energy� Chie Koishikawa teams up with the talented youth Tetsuya Izuchi! It is really mind blowing to think that these two & Mei are all the same age! Chie has been making waves alongside her usual partner Hagane Shinno, with her unique Fencing Chops and strange sinister side both gaining a lot of attention! Season 6 has definitely been her best so far. Izuchi on the other hand is cool as a cucumber, though not as emotionless as Hagane. He gave the Best Bros a run for their money in the last HEAT-UP collab show, but that was alongside a replacement partner! Thanks again, Hiroshi Watanabe! While skilled well beyond his years, Izuchi will have to do his best to try and match his Fourth Generation partner's endless energy!

Baliyan Akki was defeated by Minoru Fujita for the Super Asia Championship. Now they will be working together against a common foe! The Ace, Akki, has nearly as many titles as his usual partner in Best Bros (Mei Suruga). The Zephyr of Ichigaya makes each of his matches a breeze to watch, with a technical prowess that insures he will someday be known worldwide! The Flying Indian has come quite far to prove himself to all of us...While engraving his name in the history books is his goal, for now he will settle for imprinting his mark on his opponents. Minoru Fujita is dripping with gold, barely able to carry the amount of belts he has at this point. The Multi-champ has been super active on the independent scene, earning further respect as he collects belts. Have you seen his Wikipedia page? Its nuts how many he has held in his career! Fujita is a stamina monster, a Rotten Yahho, and one of the living legends of ChocoPro. Our Bloody Champion earned his spot at the pinnacle of the promotion alongside the Ace...but how will these two (with unresolved issues) work together?

fez_machine fucked around with this message at 01:24 on Apr 10, 2021

# ? Apr 10, 2021 01:06

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

lol everyone's squats are slightly out of time

# ? Apr 10, 2021 02:08

Penguin Patrol: Mar 3, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

I've been doing squats during the intros to other wrestling shows, but it's not the same if the roster isn't singing to me

# ? Apr 10, 2021 02:09

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

TAM TAM RIN RIN

FISH FISH

# ? Apr 10, 2021 02:27

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

Weird "Chest Hair" Honda is back!

# ? Apr 10, 2021 02:28

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

Mei getting her revenge as ref is great storytelling

# ? Apr 10, 2021 02:32

Power Windows: Dec 29, 2004; Brasky used to ride upon a steed, perchance to spy a lady.

Brett Hart is a ChocoPro sponsor!

# ? Apr 10, 2021 02:51

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

# ? Apr 10, 2021 02:54

Power Windows: Dec 29, 2004; Brasky used to ride upon a steed, perchance to spy a lady.

LMAO THE FUCKIN' WALL

# ? Apr 10, 2021 03:09

TV Zombie: Sep 6, 2011; Burying all the trauma from past nights
Burying my anger in the past

I love how the community is helping to pitch in to pay for the wall. Tamura is devastated and he wasn't even involved in the match.

# ? Apr 10, 2021 03:21

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

Fujita vs. Tamura blood feud has started with the wall break

# ? Apr 10, 2021 03:27

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

Also Tamura should do the close fist spot in the Janken one time.

# ? Apr 10, 2021 03:28

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

Everyone pointing at the hole and saying "That's the wall brother"

# ? Apr 10, 2021 03:35

TV Zombie: Sep 6, 2011; Burying all the trauma from past nights
Burying my anger in the past

choco hasn't fixed the ceiling from when brookes broke it.

How much are interior design repairs?

# ? Apr 10, 2021 03:42

DeathChicken: Jul 9, 2012; Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

I'm now convinced Antonio Honda is the greatest wrestler alive

# ? Apr 10, 2021 08:14

Numero6: Oct 10, 2012; ここは地の果て　流されて俺
今日もさすらい　涙も涸れる
ブルーゲイル

https://twitter.com/tamukaz/status/1380738057033318408

# ? Apr 10, 2021 13:25

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

There's now a second hole:
https://twitter.com/tamukaz/status/1380852637067739137

# ? Apr 10, 2021 13:46

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

Dojo challenges where instead of stealing the sign they just punch holes in the wall.

# ? Apr 10, 2021 13:47

Neodoomium: Jun 20, 2001; You are now hearing this
noise in your head.

Fujita is such a bad example for the youth of Japan!

# ? Apr 10, 2021 15:50

J-Ro: Jul 26, 2005; Child Of The Revolution

Emi just needs to run a show inside of a building that's supposed to get demolished and let her kids run wild.

# ? Apr 10, 2021 19:14

Pylons: Mar 16, 2009

J-Ro posted:

Emi just needs to run a show inside of a building that's supposed to get demolished and let her kids run wild.

Like that old video of NJPW wrestlers demolishing a house.

# ? Apr 10, 2021 19:19

Neodoomium: Jun 20, 2001; You are now hearing this
noise in your head.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3My00p6vv0

Look at baby TenCozy!

Baby Liger!

# ? Apr 10, 2021 22:19

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

CHOCOPRO #105/LULU PENCIL #97: CHOCOMANIA DAY 2: drat #MVCHIE REALLY PUT A MAN THROUGH A WALL
WATCH LIVE ON YOUTUBE HERE
Time: 10am (JST) / 2am (BST) / 6pm (PDT) / 9pm (EDT)
NOTHING ELSE IS ON TODAY WATCH CHOCOPRO

Super Fan Dogglesnake Match Card from Reddit

quote:

Mei Suruga VS RinRin

There is no denying that Mei Suruga is the future. But the further future might be starting to catch up to her! The Apple Genius is a technical wizard, with her tricky pins and shockingly cruel submissions. She is just as formidable in singles as she is in tags, and she frequently battles the Fourth Generation in order to test their strength**.** Did you know that Mei is also involved with the training of new blood? Having debuted 21 days after she began her own training, the Red Devil is a force to be reckoned with. She might be getting a taste of her own medicine, though! RinRin is unique in just about every way possible. A musical savant with a love of Sumo, Snakes, and flashy style, the Master of Ceremonies tends to impress on every showing. How can she be so good already? She's only 16! While this high schooler might have youth on her side, Mei has wisdom. But nothing is certain in ChocoPro...we might just see a surprise here!

Chie Koishikawa VS Ayumi Hayashi

Wasshoi! The Frantic Fencer, Chie Koishikawa, had quite an eventful time in the last episode! Teaming alongside one of the HEAT-UP Universal Tag Champs, she brought swift justice to her opponents...and the wall of the Dojo! (Looks like we might have to change that �No Pay Wall� sign!) Chie is known for her speed, volume, devastating fencing chops, and her mysterious dark side that she tends to embrace more often lately...but let's ignore that for the time being! I'm sure it is nothing to worry about! Her opponent will be debuting at ChocoPro for the first time...Ayumi Hayashi of Actwres Girlz! The announcement of her arrival pleased me greatly, because Ayumi is practically a ChocoPro character as is! Vibrant, talented, and able to command the audience...all the things we love! This festival loving, yellow clad joshi might just give Chie a challenge in both skill and loudness! You'll find yourself Wasshoi-ing along with her before too long! (What does it mean? Check out this explanation if you've got the time! If you're interested in checking out AWG, they have their own streaming service (and a roster of super talented individuals...including ChocoPro frequent SAKI!)

Lulupencil & Baliyan Akki VS Chon Shiryu & PSYCHO

The General of the Pencil Army and the Ace of ChocoPro on the same team! Lulupencil and Akki tend to find themselves on the opposite side of things, especially with her subordinate Minoru Fujita recently defeating Akki for the Super Asia Championship. Tension only built between Fujita & Akki in the last episode, where they kept trying to one up each other...but everyone loves Lulu! Right? She is the hardest working wrestler in the world, trying to take down titans of the scene with her clever tactics and heart instead of speed and power. Akki on the other hand is a breath of fresh air, a wonderful all-arounder who improves every single bout. How can he flow so easily from move to move? How deep is his arsenal of breezy techniques? Will the Winds of Change be behind the banners of the Pencil Army?

Two wildly different ChocoPro returns, that just so happen to be Gatoh Move legends! Chon Shiryu is a Kung Fu specialist that has his own way of doing basically every move. His flying dropkick is like something out of a Wuxia film! PSYCHO is a maniac in the ring (or in this case, the square), pulling off bizarre yet crushing blows and reversals. His flashy finisher surprised the ChocoPro faithful on his last visit! Both of these powerful fighters are part of separate successful tag teams in ChocoPro (Chon alongside Sayuri in Dragon Ninja, PSYCHO with CHANGO in Melt Brain Dancing) but how will their styles flow together in this form of the promotion? Expect this bout to be full of extreme moments and hopefully a surviving Pencil! Do your best to endure this chaos, Lulu!

fez_machine fucked around with this message at 23:40 on Apr 10, 2021

# ? Apr 10, 2021 23:38

Neodoomium: Jun 20, 2001; You are now hearing this
noise in your head.

RinRin has declared herself "Vice President of ChocoPro" by virtue of her being taller than Mei now

# ? Apr 10, 2021 23:52

karmicknight: Aug 21, 2011

Chie broke a wall????

I am really far behind.

# ? Apr 11, 2021 00:10

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

karmicknight posted:

Chie broke a wall????

I am really far behind.

It was amazing

https://twitter.com/tde_gif/status/1380705080551354369

# ? Apr 11, 2021 00:19

TV Zombie: Sep 6, 2011; Burying all the trauma from past nights
Burying my anger in the past

I keep trying to click the wasshoi link to no avail. Also you have to watch the show to see everyone�s reaction to the broken wall.

# ? Apr 11, 2021 00:29

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

TV Zombie posted:

I keep trying to click the wasshoi link to no avail. Also you have to watch the show to see everyone�s reaction to the broken wall.

Sorry, Dogglesnake's match cards are pretty dense with links that don't look great on SA and I can't be bothered making work anyway.

Click through to Reddit for the full experience: https://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/moc8rd/tonight_at_9_pm_edt_wasshoi_chocopro_105_returns/

Here's the wasshoi link if you don't want to go to reddit:

https://www.wasshoimagazine.org/was...%20spirits%22.)

# ? Apr 11, 2021 00:39

karmicknight: Aug 21, 2011

I cannot stress enough how Chie has like the most protagonist energy of literally everyone in ChocoPro.

# ? Apr 11, 2021 00:46

TV Zombie: Sep 6, 2011; Burying all the trauma from past nights
Burying my anger in the past

Chaotic energy perhaps.

# ? Apr 11, 2021 00:50

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

TV Zombie posted:

Chieotic energy perhaps.

# ? Apr 11, 2021 00:53

Neodoomium: Jun 20, 2001; You are now hearing this
noise in your head.

MVChieotic Energy

# ? Apr 11, 2021 00:55

karmicknight: Aug 21, 2011

She's the brash hero who constantly gets owned but does not stop.

# ? Apr 11, 2021 00:56

karmicknight: Aug 21, 2011

We are live in the Choco Square.

# ? Apr 11, 2021 02:01

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 11:19

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

Let's go!

# ? Apr 11, 2021 02:02

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Emi Sakura Promotions Thread: There Is No God Here

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