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PHIZ KALIFA
ABS THUNDERSKULL.

element: thunderbolts.

steed: a thunderbolt.

slogan/motto: "gonna clap them cheeks like a Thunderskull."

trying to figure out if the frog spirit the fourth hokage bound into me counts as an alternate form, a familiar, or sidekick.

mods only know two things: eat hot grape and lie

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Yinlock


the referees have come back with a decision, since Akira was atomized and his body never touched the outside of the ring, his ghost is therefore a valid participant


PHIZ KALIFA
ABS THUNDERSKULL.

element: thunderbolts.

steed: a thunderbolt.

slogan/motto: "gonna clap them cheeks like a Thunderskull."

a girl punches me in the face like a billion times but i remain unmoving, unwilling to do violence unto a waifu. then i notice one of her sports bra straps, and bust open the nasal bloodgates so hard i rocket off into space, becoming a fixture of the Crab Nebula.

mods only know two things: eat hot grape and lie

Macnult


google THIS posted:

"Sorry guys, it happened again."

(custodial staff grumbles as they roll a new moon out of the supply closet)



both sigs courtesy of kaiser schnitzel

SweetWillyRollbar

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?

Me to the boys after waiting in line for the parking lot for half an hour.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRAjKaExZ2M

Stoner Sloth


amateur fights break out in the audience after a contentious split decision; look at those drunken idiots swinging away and only destroying a tenth of the planet at a time!



sigs by the awesome Manifisto, Vanisher, City of Glompton, and Pot Smoke Phoenix - ty friends!

The Clowner

I see past the sham that is society, and I'm into some incredibly fucked up shit.
"that's astounding... Matsumoto-san's secret Poison Gas technique allows him to subdue his opponent without even touching him..."

Oh yeah? That's nothing, watch this—*faaaaart*

Yinlock


next up we have Gen Xo, The Poison Fang Of The Pacific With A Thousand Deadly Strikes, versus Jeff Perkins from Canada, who teaches karate on the weekends


Jaguars!



Announcer: In Master Gen's most recent match, he knocked out 42 Uzi toting henchmen before allowing the big boss to die in a particularly ironic way, while Jeff has recently attained the Dash for his green belt!

LastGoodBoy

Keep your mind be open window everyday

Hey I hear this Jeff guy has a green belt.

High on the hog, 90's style.

tadashi


I heard Jeff is real popular with the moms, if you know what I mean.

Procrastinator

this but unironically
I sit here in my eternal shame

I told them to get him a body bag

but the body bag never came

PUNKS DIET SODA

John. What are you doing.



Jeff passed out in my lawn he's great

Joey McChrist

I'M VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHONDROID DAMMIT



JEFF attempts to do boxing footwork but trips directly into an Exploding Eight Points Trigram Palm and has his torso sent into low-earth orbit

Joe Rogan: He caught him he tagged him he's hurt!

LastGoodBoy

Keep your mind be open window everyday

Master Shin prepares to launch his Neo Dragon Blast. Jeff quickly adjusts his foam helmet and makes sure the Velcro strap is secured.

High on the hog, 90's style.

Critical

Time for some fuckin' garbage posting.


*wearing a red sox hat and sucking on a 32 oz dunks coffee* hey tawmmy, this guy can't even do a crescent kick right. HEY, MAYBE DONT BLOCK poo poo WITH YOUR FACE YA FUCKIN PANSY

RazzleDazzleHour


"Dad, cmon, I thought we were gonna get popcorn"

"We can't miss the entrance ceremony! We can go and get snacks after that while they play the opening credits"

RazzleDazzleHour


"Dad, didn't the alien with the tail say he was gonna blow up the Earth in five minutes? That was like an hour ago"

"The clock doesn't run during monologues or if the coach calls a time out, the fighters have to be in motion to restart the countdown"

LastGoodBoy

Keep your mind be open window everyday

DAT KID TURNED INTA A GIANT MONKEY!! HEY REF!! YOU BLIND?! CALLA PENALTY!!

High on the hog, 90's style.

The Clowner

I see past the sham that is society, and I'm into some incredibly fucked up shit.

RazzleDazzleHour posted:

"Dad, didn't the alien with the tail say he was gonna blow up the Earth in five minutes? That was like an hour ago"

"The clock doesn't run during monologues or if the coach calls a time out, the fighters have to be in motion to restart the countdown"

Jerusalem

Would you be my new best friends?

My bookie and his goons grab me and start to haul me away after the guy I bet on got mercilessly beaten by his 8 foot tall opponent. But just before the ref can declare the fight over, the opponent declares he is going to go hurt his defeated foe's friends and there's nothing he can do about it.

My Bookie: God loving dammit....

The Croc

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird!

OH YEAH!

A 5 round ufc bout ends in a draw when both combatants scream while clenching and talking and nothing else.

Jerusalem

Would you be my new best friends?

Each round is 5 minutes long, and takes 4.5 hours to complete.

Yinlock


Jaguars! posted:

Announcer: In Master Gen's most recent match, he knocked out 42 Uzi toting henchmen before allowing the big boss to die in a particularly ironic way, while Jeff has recently attained the Dash for his green belt!

Joey McChrist posted:

JEFF attempts to do boxing footwork but trips directly into an Exploding Eight Points Trigram Palm and has his torso sent into low-earth orbit

Joe Rogan: He caught him he tagged him he's hurt!

LastGoodBoy posted:

Master Shin prepares to launch his Neo Dragon Blast. Jeff quickly adjusts his foam helmet and makes sure the Velcro strap is secured.

Gen Xo: *sitting on a throne of jeweled obsidian surrounded by powerful retainers, floating to the ring on a cloud of ethereal energy as various ancient martial spirits appear and bow in supplication*

Jeff: *jogs to the ring as "YOU GOT THE TOUCH" plays*

me: YEAH JEFF KICK HIS rear end


LastGoodBoy

Keep your mind be open window everyday

I hear this Jeff guy is a green belt!

High on the hog, 90's style.

Jaguars!



Master Gen Xo: Ow that hurt. You should grade soon, I think you would really nail that next belt. *Triple shoryukens Jeff through the basketball backboard, embedding him by the head in the gym wall*

Jaguars!



Various moms in the audience are inconsolable

LastGoodBoy

Keep your mind be open window everyday

A wee child runs crying to the embedded-in-the-wall-body of Jeff. "Papa? Papa!"

High on the hog, 90's style.

RazzleDazzleHour


*a man with a striped shirt runs into the arena*

"After reviewing the footage...the committee has found that contestant Darkraza did not, in fact, focus his Ki into a physical manifestation and project it, but actually shot his opponent with a gun. One-point penalty on the score, we'll replay the round"

*crowd cheers as the camera zooms in on Jeff getting a hi-five from his coach, who has now finished amputating Jeff's leg*

RazzleDazzleHour


"It's the end of the fourth round here, all tied up at 2-2 because of the penalty, let's take a look at this pre-fight interview with Jeff where we asked him about the match-up"

"So obviously Darkraza is from the Nether Dimension, where gravity is fifteen-times more powerful than here on Earth, so Sensei and I knew he was gonna have a bit of a speed advantage going into this fight. But, you know, we've been doing some resistance training in the pool to try and get a feel for what the crushing pressure of the Dread Sun might be like, and I think it's really paying off, I'm feeling a lot more nimble out here in the last few matches"

PHIZ KALIFA
ABS THUNDERSKULL.

element: thunderbolts.

steed: a thunderbolt.

slogan/motto: "gonna clap them cheeks like a Thunderskull."

Karate Johnathan: they never let knifedads compete at these- and for good reason. we're just too deadlEYAGUH (the sound of a boot kicking his jaw down his mouth, into his tumtum)

mods only know two things: eat hot grape and lie

Yinlock


RazzleDazzleHour posted:

"It's the end of the fourth round here, all tied up at 2-2 because of the penalty, let's take a look at this pre-fight interview with Jeff where we asked him about the match-up"

"So obviously Darkraza is from the Nether Dimension, where gravity is fifteen-times more powerful than here on Earth, so Sensei and I knew he was gonna have a bit of a speed advantage going into this fight. But, you know, we've been doing some resistance training in the pool to try and get a feel for what the crushing pressure of the Dread Sun might be like, and I think it's really paying off, I'm feeling a lot more nimble out here in the last few matches"


nut



lmfbo

albany academy


RazzleDazzleHour posted:

"It's the end of the fourth round here, all tied up at 2-2 because of the penalty, let's take a look at this pre-fight interview with Jeff where we asked him about the match-up"

"So obviously Darkraza is from the Nether Dimension, where gravity is fifteen-times more powerful than here on Earth, so Sensei and I knew he was gonna have a bit of a speed advantage going into this fight. But, you know, we've been doing some resistance training in the pool to try and get a feel for what the crushing pressure of the Dread Sun might be like, and I think it's really paying off, I'm feeling a lot more nimble out here in the last few matches"

Joey McChrist

I'M VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHONDROID DAMMIT



RazzleDazzleHour posted:

"It's the end of the fourth round here, all tied up at 2-2 because of the penalty, let's take a look at this pre-fight interview with Jeff where we asked him about the match-up"

"So obviously Darkraza is from the Nether Dimension, where gravity is fifteen-times more powerful than here on Earth, so Sensei and I knew he was gonna have a bit of a speed advantage going into this fight. But, you know, we've been doing some resistance training in the pool to try and get a feel for what the crushing pressure of the Dread Sun might be like, and I think it's really paying off, I'm feeling a lot more nimble out here in the last few matches"

Joey McChrist

I'M VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHONDROID DAMMIT



*jeff is set down in his corner looking like bernie from weekend at bernies*

coach: alright jeff you've got him where you want him, all you have to do is weather those strikes until Master Gen is tired. he's only got about a couple dozen more crane fists in him before he gasses out, alright?

me, drunk in the audience: DO SOME SPINNING poo poo

coach: now, when he builds his ki he drops his guard for a half-second, that's your window

me: THROW A WHEEL KICK! SPIN

coach: alright? NO QUIT

me: SPINNING poo poo

coach: NO QUIT

me: SPINNING poo poo

Yinlock


Joey McChrist posted:

*jeff is set down in his corner looking like bernie from weekend at bernies*

coach: alright jeff you've got him where you want him, all you have to do is weather those strikes until Master Gen is tired. he's only got about a couple dozen more crane fists in him before he gasses out, alright?

me, drunk in the audience: DO SOME SPINNING poo poo

coach: now, when he builds his ki he drops his guard for a half-second, that's your window

me: THROW A WHEEL KICK! SPIN

coach: alright? NO QUIT

me: SPINNING poo poo

coach: NO QUIT

me: SPINNING poo poo


Shifty Nipples


Joey McChrist posted:

*jeff is set down in his corner looking like bernie from weekend at bernies*

coach: alright jeff you've got him where you want him, all you have to do is weather those strikes until Master Gen is tired. he's only got about a couple dozen more crane fists in him before he gasses out, alright?

me, drunk in the audience: DO SOME SPINNING poo poo

coach: now, when he builds his ki he drops his guard for a half-second, that's your window

me: THROW A WHEEL KICK! SPIN

coach: alright? NO QUIT

me: SPINNING poo poo

coach: NO QUIT

me: SPINNING poo poo

Goons Are Great

Please drink responsibly


Joey McChrist posted:

*jeff is set down in his corner looking like bernie from weekend at bernies*

coach: alright jeff you've got him where you want him, all you have to do is weather those strikes until Master Gen is tired. he's only got about a couple dozen more crane fists in him before he gasses out, alright?

me, drunk in the audience: DO SOME SPINNING poo poo

coach: now, when he builds his ki he drops his guard for a half-second, that's your window

me: THROW A WHEEL KICK! SPIN

coach: alright? NO QUIT

me: SPINNING poo poo

coach: NO QUIT

me: SPINNING poo poo


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Jaguars!



Sound booth starts playing the Hey Song

Dahlsim coming out of his Pre-fight trance: Turn that poo poo off

he long arms to the speakers and yanks the wires out.

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