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PHIZ KALIFA
ABS THUNDERSKULL.

element: thunderbolts.

steed: a thunderbolt.

slogan/motto: "gonna clap them cheeks like a Thunderskull."

three foot tall floating green skinned antennae-having lil weirdo in a china outfit just interrupted the opening ceremony to announce that he is "the Herald of Lord Fisticuffs"? i didn't see the last PPV, this storyline has lost me entirely.

mods only know two things: eat hot grape and lie

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barfdog




*squinting from the lofty heights of the absolute last row of seats in the stadium*

MA, HEY MA! I THINK I SEE HIM! I THINK THAT'S JOHNNY PILEDRIVER! WOOOOOO!

LastGoodBoy

Keep your mind be open window everyday

BOOKIE: "The finals are between Lord Destruction, reigning champ for the last 100 years, and a spunky five-year-old with spikey hair."

ME: "5 grand on Lord D. Easy money."

High on the hog, 90's style.

The Clowner

I see past the sham that is society, and I'm into some incredibly fucked up shit.
No I didn't bring an extra pair of binoculars. You're gonna have to squint up at the sky to follow the fight just like everyone else

BodyMassageMachine

EAT
SLEEP

CAAAAWWWWW
REPEAT

*gets covered in blood and guts after a fatality*

“See, honey, this is why we paid for the good seats!”

SweetWillyRollbar

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?

The Canadian champion has entered the tournament. Owen is a pro-level hockey goon who's signature move is to pull his opponents jersey/shirt/gi over their head and start laying some good ol' hooks into their gut. Also sometimes he holds them by their head with one and hand punches with the other.

LastGoodBoy

Keep your mind be open window everyday

Selling bootleg Jeff shirts in the parking lot that say "Jaff" on them.

High on the hog, 90's style.

take the moon



father and son bonding by taking in a martial arts match :)

*fighter misses w/ an air blade*

My loving Son just got Decapitated

Christoph

trains in the Shaolin temple for 500 years

uses "Pomp and Circumstance" as intro music

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

RazzleDazzleHour


Can't loving believe Jeff won the fourth round against the re-incarnated spirit of death itself because the parallel dimension it shifted itself to was considered out-of-bounds. It could have easily just blocked the wheel kick with its giant enchanted scythe

nut


fan: HIT HIM WITH A FOLDING CHAIR

Doug marcaida from forged in fire: *slowly hacks his opponent in half with recreated general patton sabre*

fan: ...ya ok that’s cool too

Jaguars!



Macnult posted:

*nudges son* see that, timmy?
[pointing at the ancient kung fu spirit]
he's gonna break one of those boards

Well Timmy, he hasn't done a good job here. Kung fu is all about putting your power into one tiny point in space and time and the spirit got sloppy and not only broken the twenty boards, but his followthrough has also split the floor joists, a water main, and 500m of the earth's crust. In a fight, I'd use that.

Jaguars! fucked around with this message at 01:39 on May 25, 2020

LastGoodBoy

Keep your mind be open window everyday

Me and the boys painting our beer guts to spell out "JFEF"

High on the hog, 90's style.

nut


fan 1: Whoah poo poo he got green hair and red eyes, what super saiyan level is he?

fan 2: *referencing complicated diagram on deviantart* uhhh

biosterous




LastGoodBoy posted:

Me and the boys painting our beer guts to spell out "JFEF"



thank you manifisto for this sig!!!

Space Taxi

The former champ should really retire. His death punch is barely a coma punch.

Joey McChrist

I'M VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHONDROID DAMMIT



Joe Rogan: Alright I'm here with JEFF! Jeff, you came in hard and strong, ultimately though Master Gen Xo's dragon corkscrew kick got the better of you in the third. Anything you have to say to the fans here tonight and around the world?

Jeff's Disembodied Voice Emanating From The Spirit Floating Above His Shattered Corpse: Hey Joe, I just wanna give thanks to God, and my family for sticking by me. Also to my team, and to my sponsors Pep Boys, PEP BOYS DOES EVERYTHING FOR LESS

Joe Rogan: Thanks Jeff! JEFF THE NOW-GHOST LADIES AND GENTLEMEN *scattered applause*

PHIZ KALIFA
ABS THUNDERSKULL.

element: thunderbolts.

steed: a thunderbolt.

slogan/motto: "gonna clap them cheeks like a Thunderskull."

me, watching a lanky 12 year old stretch his arms out and punch an enormous towering pile of muscle: hey wait a minute, i think this is fixed

mods only know two things: eat hot grape and lie

The Clowner

I see past the sham that is society, and I'm into some incredibly fucked up shit.

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

me, watching a lanky 12 year old stretch his arms out and punch an enormous towering pile of muscle: hey wait a minute, i think this is fixed

LastGoodBoy

Keep your mind be open window everyday

*A gangling man with a matching blond mullet and horseshoe mustache, a white Tae Kwon Do uniform, and a blue belt slowly hovers down from the sky and begins shouting at Jeff.*

"BROTHER!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THESE CREATURES?! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WIPE OUT ALL LIFE ON THIS PLANET YEARS AGO!!"

High on the hog, 90's style.

Christoph

*Johnny Cage performs a Babality on Nightwolf*

Audience member: Now uppercut him into the pool of acid! He can't defend himself, he's a baby!

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

ulvir


the audience doing that synchronised “ooh” thing they do whenever a wrestler slaps another one on the chest, but instead it’s for each time gouki/akuma lands a hit during his raging demon ultra

Jaguars!



Fight!

Aoi Taka begins drawing in energy from the life force of the wildlife, Adept Xien Wan projects his mental powers on some motes of dust in his palm which start glowing.


The crowd grows restless.


At the ten minute mark, Yojiro the martial arts clown comes out and starts dancing a jig, imitating the fighter's poses, etc

The Clowner

I see past the sham that is society, and I'm into some incredibly fucked up shit.

ulvir posted:

the audience doing that synchronised “ooh” thing they do whenever a wrestler slaps another one on the chest, but instead it’s for each time gouki/akuma lands a hit during his raging demon ultra

The Clowner

I see past the sham that is society, and I'm into some incredibly fucked up shit.

Jaguars! posted:

Fight!

Aoi Taka begins drawing in energy from the life force of the wildlife, Adept Xien Wan projects his mental powers on some motes of dust in his palm which start glowing.


The crowd grows restless.


At the ten minute mark, Yojiro the martial arts clown comes out and starts dancing a jig, imitating the fighter's poses, etc

Finger Prince

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)


Announcer: Sanchez lands a left, and another left, and a right! Munoz Jr has no defence! The referee is going to have to stop this before it turns into a bloodbath! OH MY GOODNESS! MUNOZ COUNTERS WITH A STRONG RIGHT HOOK! SANCHEZ IS DOWN!

From the upper bowl, a bellowing voice: C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

nut


Finger Prince posted:

Announcer: Sanchez lands a left, and another left, and a right! Munoz Jr has no defence! The referee is going to have to stop this before it turns into a bloodbath! OH MY GOODNESS! MUNOZ COUNTERS WITH A STRONG RIGHT HOOK! SANCHEZ IS DOWN!

From the upper bowl, a bellowing voice: C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

the crowd is silent, staring on with pale faces speckled with flecks of red and slack jaws agape. the announcer screams, “M-M-MONSTER KILL”

google THIS


"Dad, why are there people identical to us seated on the opposite side of the ring, making the exact same repetitive cheering motions?"

"Son, the seats were nearly sold out and it was either this or the vague six-pixel blob section. Just enjoy the match, and remember to keep pumping your fist."

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LastGoodBoy

Keep your mind be open window everyday

google THIS posted:

"Dad, why are there people identical to us seated on the opposite side of the ring, making the exact same repetitive cheering motions?"

"Son, the seats were nearly sold out and it was either this or the vague six-pixel blob section. Just enjoy the match, and remember to keep pumping your fist."

"Here's a big stack of dollar bills. Wave it over your head like every other 5th person is doing."

High on the hog, 90's style.

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