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  Hello, my name is Robert Schwartz and I'm running for Senate under a PRO-BOOT platform. Wearing boots means you're a HARD-WORKING AMERICAN and I'm sick and tired of these SANDAL-WEARING hippies who've never worked a day in their life. I work hard doing "fitness" and I don't have to clarify what that means to a dirty SANDAL-CLAD cretin such as yourself. All I know is that food stamps caused DIABETES because they pump sugar directly into the veins of poor people when we should instead be pumping HARD-WORKING BOOT-RELATED ethics into them so they can stop being homeless. My platform is based around PURE UNFILTERED OUTRAGE at those with the gall and gumption to wear SANDALS instead of wearing BOOTS like real god-fearing Americans. Those hyper-partisan judgemental assholes are so weak-minded, stupid, elitist, socialist, and latte-drinking, which is the mark of a lazy person because only lazy people can pay for something that costs $6. SANDAL-SHOD Socialist Democrats are so BOOT-DEPRIVED that they spin up the random-pronoun generator every day and force PROUD AMERICANS at gunpoint to learn more than two possible words they can identify people with, something probably done in COMMUNIST CHINA. Policy positions? Uh, one I have is mandatory gun-safety classes taught in school to 7-year olds in between their story and nap time. Those little shits won't remember or care about anything that is taught to them at that age but if they kill themselves with guns that were strewn around their house they were probably the putrid spawn of lazy SANDALITES anyway. VOTE ROBERT SCHWARTZ AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS BECAUSE I SURE DONT FUCKIN KNOW -This message paid for and furnished by Robert Schwartz and the boot leather industry- Jabberlock fucked around with this message at 04:18 on Apr 24, 2020 |
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Apr 24, 2020 04:13
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Are we sure this guy isn't from New York?
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Apr 24, 2020 04:23
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There's a spectrum between these two sides
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Apr 24, 2020 04:24
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Mr Schwartz, do you prefer boots with laces or straps? How about both?
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Apr 24, 2020 08:29
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Where does Robert stand on blousing pants in into boots? Personally, I'm a huge fan.
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Apr 24, 2020 09:09
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so hard to lick authoritarian boot when they're not wearing any 
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Apr 24, 2020 09:20
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If you don't vote for me, Obama will send his JACK-SANDALED thugs into your home to take your GUNS at gunpoint so they can GET RID of the guns. Once we're no longer able to HIDE behind the second amendment, these COMMUNISTS will steal your BOOTS and replace them with PRONOUNS, but whereas you had but two BOOTS, you will have an uncountable number of pronouns to contend with. Vote for me, Robert "John Wilkes Boots" Schwartz.
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Apr 24, 2020 09:43
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I’m not like those other virtue-signalers
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Apr 27, 2020 05:32
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Is this guy a rep for DUKE CANNON
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Apr 27, 2020 12:26
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Vote Schwartz and SEE WHAT HAPPENS is the most ominous and threatening campaign tagline I've seen for a while
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Apr 27, 2020 12:32
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Remember when Americans killed Nazis?
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Apr 27, 2020 12:49
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He should have been a fan of shorts.
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Apr 27, 2020 12:52
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lol i got my voter's pamphlet in the mail last week too and it fell directly open to the page this guy is on. I decided it was worth a read later based solely on his smushed postage stamp of a face, apparently I didn't even get to the good stuff
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Apr 27, 2020 13:43
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“Your embarrassing us” followed almost immediately with a diatribe about how Democrats are the ones struggling with words.
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Apr 27, 2020 13:45
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