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Wazzu
Feb 28, 2008

Are you sure I'm winning the Rumble? That does'nt seem right.....

Jerusalem posted:

Which of these events happened and which are made up:

- Vince McMahon hired a Barack Obama impersonator so he could make him do a shuck and jive.
- Vince booked himself in a match against God.
- Vince paid a man money to put on a Vince McMahon mask and then make out with his daughter Stephanie.
- Vince fined and punished a wrestler for touching him.
- Vince had to have it explained to him that white people can be attracted to another ethnicity.
- Vince did a regular segment on television where he'd pull his pants down and make employees kiss his rear end.
- Vince wanted one of his wrestlers to have a blue dot superimposed over his face because he didn't like the way he looks.
- Vince had to spend several weeks off television after suppressing a sneeze so hard it ruptured a blood vessel in his eye.
- Vince thinks the Stone Cold Steve Austin character is based on him.
- Vince tore both his quads coming to the ring but insisted on sticking around to cut a promo anyway.
- Vince made one of his female employees make out with him in public.
- Vince did a print interview where he explained he was no longer unfaithful to his wife so she had to be ready for him to gently caress her brains out when he came home from the road.
- Vince once showed up at a film studio demanding a cut of the profits from a film with Dwayne Johnson in it because he's the one who made Dwayne Johnson famous in the first place.

- Vince did a print interview where he explained he was no longer unfaithful to his wife so she had to be ready for him to gently caress her brains out when he came home from the road.

When was this?

Jerusalem posted:

Which of these was NOT an Undertaker opponent at Wrestlemania?

- an elderly boy
HBK 'the sexy boy'
- the world's oldest rookie
AJ Styles
- a drug addict
Jake Roberts
- a billionaire
NOT AN OPPONENT
- Gorgo
King Kong Bundy
- a literal murderer
Jimmy Snuka
- a softball enthusiast
Sycho Sid
- a hockey enthusiast
CM Punk
- K-Mart Michael Myers
Kane
- a bounty hunter
NOT AN OPPONENT
- a crooked cop turned mercenary
Big Boss Man
- a failson
Shane McMahon
- somebody who was never potty trained
NOT AN OPPONENT
- a guy with a bone to pick with "Daddy" R.A. Moore
NOT AN OPPONENT (possibly this is Randy Orton?)
- The Man
Ric Flair
- The Invisible Man
John Cena
- The Swamp Man
Bray Wyatt
- The Man of 1000 Holds
NOT AN OPPONENT
- The Man of 1001 Holds
NOT AN OPPONENT
- a man with an admirable money:effort ratio
Diesel (Kevin Nash)
- a man with an even more admirable money:effort ratio
Brock Lesnar
- a large dog
Roman Reigns
- a giant
The Big Show
- a train
A-Train
- somebody who gave an old lady a hand
Mark Henry
- a big Hollywood movie star
Batista
- somebody who doesn't know Bono
Edge (not to be confused with The Edge
- a very tall man
Giant Gonzales

Not sure how either Triple H Randy Orton. I'm sure I've made some errors!

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Wazzu
Feb 28, 2008

Are you sure I'm winning the Rumble? That does'nt seem right.....
I wish to try a similar one: who has John Cena beaten for a world title?* (I would have done with Ric Flair if literally anyone agreed on how to calculate his mythical 16 title wins)

a bearded weirdo
a crustean headed man
a real American
a real human being
a real hero
a witch
a dishonorably discharged former soldier
an egalitarian
a lizard person
a unicorn
a sea monster
a lister
a mysterious king
a presidential parody
a big deal, fairly quickly
a great one
an agoraphobiac
an agoraphiliac
a redneck
a drug addict
a self-righteous, honest goat
an NCAA champion

*excluding the one title he won from vacant

Half are real, half are fake

Wazzu
Feb 28, 2008

Are you sure I'm winning the Rumble? That does'nt seem right.....

Venomous posted:

idk if this is it but w/e

Pretty close. I'll give full answers in a few hours if anyone else wants to try.

Wazzu
Feb 28, 2008

Are you sure I'm winning the Rumble? That does'nt seem right.....

Wazzu posted:

I wish to try a similar one: who has John Cena beaten for a world title?* (I would have done with Ric Flair if literally anyone agreed on how to calculate his mythical 16 title wins)

*excluding the one title he won from vacant

Half are real, half are fake

My design was as follows:

a bearded weirdo -Could be applied to AJ, but designed to be a fakeout of Daniel Bryan, I'll give points for it
a crustean headed man - Sheamus
a real American - fake
a real human being - fake
a real hero - fake
a witch - fake
a dishonorably discharged former soldier - Randy Orton
an egalitarian - fake
a lizard person - fake
a unicorn - fake
a sea monster - Batista
a lister - Miz
a mysterious king - Rey Mysterio
a presidential parody - JBL (he even had a Cabinet when John Cena beat him)
a big deal, fairly quickly - Alberto Del Rio (his first profile online was this placeholder text)
a great one - The Rock
an agoraphobiac - fake
an agoraphiliac - Edge (in reference to his live sex celebration shortly before he lost the title back to Cena)
a redneck - AJ
a drug addict - fake
a self-righteous, honest goat - the GOAT Jericho, from his gimmick of being a suit wearing honest rear end in a top hat (second Daniel Bryan fakeout)
an NCAA champion - fake

Thank you very much for playing, Venomous and Rarity :)

Gumball Gumption posted:

I assume the logic is just flat out "you miss all the shots you don't take". Worse that happens is they tell him to gently caress off but hey, maybe they'll give him some cash.

Plus it's probably an attempt to hamstring Rock's career- if you hire him, you have to deal with crazy Vince McMahon. No one can ever profit off anything he's done! He owns Dwayne Johnson, dammit!

Wazzu fucked around with this message at 04:15 on Apr 30, 2020

Wazzu
Feb 28, 2008

Are you sure I'm winning the Rumble? That does'nt seem right.....

Jerusalem posted:

gently caress, I forgot that Cena didn't win one of his titles from Vince McMahon or I would have gotten this one :smith:

It's a surprisingly short list, he kept beating the same people. Should have included a plausible deniability white supremacist to fake out Triple H

And it's fun to make fake results, so many unbelievable things. Please keep up the WWE results!

Wazzu
Feb 28, 2008

Are you sure I'm winning the Rumble? That does'nt seem right.....

Jerusalem posted:

THE MANY TELEVISED CRIMES OF STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!
Stone Cold Steve Austin wasn't adverse to breaking a law or 50 when it came time to stomping a mudhole and walking it dry, but which of these are actual televised crimes he committed and which are just plain outright lies?

- Practiced medicine without a license
His famous hospital assault I'm assuming he got into costume and did the assault, there wasn't a time he ran a medical practice, was there? Or they didn't give back story that he'd been at the hospital all day?
- Driving under the influence
Constantly
- Vehicular Assault
Hitting.... Rock with his car?
- Bicycle theft
Not that I recall
- Hostage taking
Probably. Against Bret maybe?
- Performing in blackface
No?
- Beating up a woman (on television, we already know it's true he did it in real life)
- Public urination
I'm hoping not?
- Car vandalism
Let's assume he hosed up McMahon car at some point, that sounds about right
- Cockfighting
I loving hope not, the 90s weren't that long ago
- Brawling in a public space
Constantly
- Property damage
Constantly. I assume he hosed up an office or two
- Waterway littering
Title in the river
- Sharking/debagging
I assume so
- Threatening with a firearm
McMahon in the ring pissing himself
- Crashing a family reunion
The worst of crimes
- Attempted murder
Triple H and the car smashing?


Not full, but whatever

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Wazzu
Feb 28, 2008

Are you sure I'm winning the Rumble? That does'nt seem right.....
....i can't believe the happy room.

I can easily believe they're back to the champions losing non title in their division, the worst loving booking.

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