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xopods
Oct 26, 2010

18 Karens: Live, Laugh, L*nch
The game that would like to speak with the moderator, please





The game is underway!

Karen Schultz had a problem. Her neighbor, Barry, was up to something. She was sure of it.

Barry was a physicist at the local university. Which was great, really. It added some class to the neighborhood, even if he was a bit dull at parties.

But the thing was, he had a shed. And it was too big. 16 feet long - she'd measured - and the Chablis Ct. restrictive covenant specified a maximum of 14 feet. She'd be willing to overlook that, but he was also doing something in there. Something that did not involve garden tools. There were lights, and extension cords.

Her first instinct, as usual, was to call the police. But Barry didn't seem like a bad guy. He still thanked her every time he saw her for the gift basket she'd brought over when he moved in, and that was now two years ago. Maybe he was just working on his Christmas display a little bit early?

Rather than bother the police, or Barry, she decided she'd just take a look herself. One morning, after he'd left for the university, she fortified herself with a glass of wine and snuck over.

The first thing she remarked as she entered the shed was that it was bigger on the inside. Much, much bigger. There were hallways, and rooms full of machines. Scared but intrigued, she decided to poke around some more.

A few hours later, she'd seen enough. It was definitely very strange, but she wasn't sure there were any clear bylaw violations. Her iPhone wasn't getting any reception, so she'd have to go home to check the city's website to see if there was anything worth reporting.

When she tried to leave, however, she realized that she had a bigger problem. In all her wandering, she'd lost track of where the entrance was. Frustrated, she wandered from room to room, but all she found were more machines, each more confusing than the last.

Finally, she came across what seemed to be an intercom of sorts. At least, it had a speaker, and something that looked like a microphone. Maybe she could reach Barry and get him to help her out, as embarrassing as it would be to be caught snooping.

After poking at buttons for a bit, she managed to get the machine working. The speaker emitted static for a few seconds, but that cleared up and she heard a voice. Several voices, actually.

"Hello? Hello?"
"Hey who is this?"
"What is this place anyway?"
"Has anyone seen the manager?"

She tried to answer, but they were all talking over each other. No one was listening. Irritated, she jabbed at buttons until suddenly, the lights flickered and went out. A low humming noise began, gradually growing in volume and pitch until she had to cover her ears. Then there was an explosion, and a shower of sparks. Then silence.

A few seconds passed, then what seemed to be emergency lighting came on. And there, in front of her, was... more of her. Another 17 of her, to be exact. The Karens blinked at one another in confusion, then immediately set to arguing about whose fault this was.


Careers/Signups

When playing this game, you can choose from the following exciting Karen careers! Only one player per career.

  • Home Owners' Association President - Non-Player Karen
  • Human Resources Manager - NAGA LIU KANG
  • Non-Profit Director - Amnistar
  • Caterer - Capitalist Pig
  • Real Estate Agent - IllegallySober
  • Insurance Agent - Your Personal Muse
  • Financial Advisor - Leith Maclaine
  • Guidance Counselor - Hambeet
  • Restaurant Critic - Hal Incandenza
  • City Council Member - Scientastic
  • Aromatherapist - Mr. Steak
  • Pilates Instructor - b-minus1
  • Life Coach - MisterJed
  • Craft Store Owner - Retro Futurist
  • Decluttering Consultant - Mr. Humalong
  • Recipe Blogger - Token Female
  • Social Media Influencer - Merk
  • Event Planner - Nep-Nep

Living players
  1. hambeet
  2. IllegallySober (He/his)
  3. Mr. Steak (he/him)
  4. Nep-Nep
  5. Scientastic
  6. Token Female (She/her)

Dead (or otherwise absent) players

Snoopy observers

Grandicap
OfficerLiger

xopods fucked around with this message at 00:24 on May 20, 2020

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xopods
Oct 26, 2010

Discord Server

I will endeavor to be less of an old fart this time around and use Discord to mod this game like the cool kids. Click here to join the server when you sign up.

Setup Note

As an experiment, rather than detailed setup notes, I am simply giving my games a Complexity Rating until further notice. Details about this rating can be found here.

This game is expected to be:

Boring | Traditional | Simple | Intermediate | Advanced | :siren: WEIRD :siren: | Insane | Absolute Chaos

Rules
  1. Standard Mafia rules apply. If you don’t know what these are, ask before signing up.
  2. Deadlines will be roughly 72 hours until there are 9 or fewer players left alive, 48 hours thereafter.
  3. Everyone can choose the Exciting Karen Career they want from those available in the OP.
  4. All role descriptions are truthful, and are as precise and thorough as possible. Naturally, some powers may interfere with the results of others, but outside of such interference you can trust that your powers work exactly as described and you can ask me for clarification any time.
  5. Role titles are all in the form XXXX-Aligned YYYY. When a player flips, all words included in the role title will be explained; you won't be left guessing what a "Tribble-Aligned Reverse Doodad Saboteur" does. In most cases, this means I'll include the exact description of powers that was in the player's own role PM, though there may be exceptions to this.
  6. I’ll make every effort not to modkill anyone, but please don’t sign up if you intend to lurk. If your post count is unacceptably low, I’ll ask you to either step it up or replace out voluntarily.
  7. If someone’s egregiously lurking and ignoring that request, then I will attempt to find a forced replacement and, failing that, modkill as a last resort.
  8. If you do leave me no choice but to modkill you for any reason, including lurking, there are likely to be consequences in terms of your ability to sign up for future games of mine.

xopods fucked around with this message at 23:18 on May 2, 2020

CapitalistPig
Nov 3, 2005

A Winner is you!
Karen is my name Catering is my game.

MisterJed
May 9, 2004

I’d like to play and be the life coach

merk
May 20, 2003

##interact
Ok - social media influencer

Grandicap
Feb 8, 2006

I would like to observe please.

Hal Incandenza
Feb 12, 2004

I'm glad this game is WEIRD, in the future I look forward to ADVANCED and TOTAL CHAOS games

Opopanax
Aug 8, 2007

I HEX YE!!!


Signing up for this to save my spot for the 30 Helens sequel

b-minus1
Jul 24, 2008

She's a maniac, maniac
on the floor
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
Pilates instructor

Opopanax
Aug 8, 2007

I HEX YE!!!


Also I will own the craft store

Scientastic
Mar 1, 2010

TRULY scientastic.
🔬🍒


Yes, alright.

Can I be the city-council member please?

##vote Xopods

Token Female
Apr 2, 2007

If I hear the music...
I am excited for this. About to live my best life.

merk
May 20, 2003

##interact
I am only going to post in tweet format / length. New experiment. Thought I'd get this out before alignment is decided.

Token Female
Apr 2, 2007

If I hear the music...

merk posted:

I am only going to post in tweet format / length. New experiment. Thought I'd get this out before alignment is decided.

My plan is to post exclusively while giving recipes. I feel like I will break myself by day day, but we will see.

xopods
Oct 26, 2010

Token Female posted:

I am excited for this. About to live my best life.

Modkill everyone in Harry Potter so this game can fill up.

Scientastic
Mar 1, 2010

TRULY scientastic.
🔬🍒


I will be posting in exactly the way I always post, because I am not good enough at mafia to play and maintain a gimmick

NAGA LIU KANG
Jul 17, 2015

by Nyc_Tattoo
Excuse me, I was just wondering when this game was going to start? Is there an ETA for that?

My latte is getting cold, but it's fine...

In.

xopods
Oct 26, 2010

NAGA LIU KANG posted:

Excuse me, I was just wondering when this game was going to start? Is there an ETA for that?

My latte is getting cold, but it's fine...

In.

You gotta pick which Karen you want to be, unless you want me to RNG for you among the available choices.

NAGA LIU KANG
Jul 17, 2015

by Nyc_Tattoo

xopods posted:

You gotta pick which Karen you want to be, unless you want me to RNG for you among the available choices.

HR manager

Mr. Steak
May 9, 2013

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
oh im so glad i happened to see this thread EVEN THOUGH YOU NEVER ADVERTISED IT ANYWHERE.

i'm 100% in.

aromatherapist please :420:

Amnistar
Nov 6, 2008

I am a wizard, not a poet.
In, roll me a spot randomly with what is left boss man.

xopods
Oct 26, 2010

Amnistar posted:

In, roll me a spot randomly with what is left boss man.

Congratulations, you now run an anti-vax charity for cats or some poo poo.

Amnistar
Nov 6, 2008

I am a wizard, not a poet.

xopods posted:

Congratulations, you now run an anti-vax charity for cats or some poo poo.

...you monster.

Hal Incandenza
Feb 12, 2004

xopods posted:

Congratulations, you now run an anti-vax charity for cats or some poo poo.

This is exactly what I always pictured Amnistar did in my mind, good call

SalTheBard
Jan 26, 2005

I forgot to post my food for USPOL Thanksgiving but that's okay too!

Fallen Rib
My God if I wasn't in 2 games already :-3 This game looks incredible. Put me down as a replacement.

MisterJed
May 9, 2004

Um, why is this taking so long to fill? Who is moderating this game? Does the moderator have a moderator? I would like to speak to the moderators moderator, please.

xopods
Oct 26, 2010

MisterJed posted:

Um, why is this taking so long to fill? Who is moderating this game? Does the moderator have a moderator? I would like to speak to the moderators moderator, please.

Talk to the moderators of other games and tell them to start modkilling players who aren't in this one so it can fill up.

Referee
Aug 25, 2004

"Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday."
(Wilma Rudolph)

I told myself if five days passed and this game A) wasn’t full, and B) Real Estate Karen was available, that I would sign up.

So I guess what I’m saying is this is a signup for Real Estate Karen in which I will be mimicking every dumbass real estate agent in my office. Expect short posts, no intelligence, and (hopefully) a grisly death that I can use as a quasi-voodoo doll for the worst agent in my office.

Hal Incandenza
Feb 12, 2004

I notice I am both a player and observer. If you like make observer me the Event Planner Karen

hambeet
Sep 13, 2002

i will play this and I am a guidance counsellor karen

Your Personal Muse
Oct 5, 2010

what a cool dude
Technically, my job title is insurance agent, but really, I consider myself a life agent

Nep-Nep
May 15, 2004

Just one more thing!
I am completely unqualified to be an event planner so I think that spot would suit me nicely.

Your Personal Muse
Oct 5, 2010

what a cool dude

Nep-Nep posted:

I am completely unqualified to be an event planner so I think that spot would suit me nicely.

Ok so I don’t usually do this and no offense but honestly? I don’t think event planner is, you? You know?

MisterJed
May 9, 2004

Your Personal Muse posted:

Ok so I don’t usually do this and no offense but honestly? I don’t think event planner is, you? You know?

Don’t be silly, I’m sure if she sheds 5 pounds she’ll be fine

Your Personal Muse
Oct 5, 2010

what a cool dude

MisterJed posted:

Don’t be silly, I’m sure if she sheds 5 pounds she’ll be fine

Oh you are so naughty! My goodness can’t take you anywhere! Especially, you know, after your divorce?

hambeet
Sep 13, 2002

As a guidance counsellor I am qualified to tell you that it’s okay to double your daily dose of diet pills. It’ll help with your second chin.

Your Personal Muse
Oct 5, 2010

what a cool dude

hambeet posted:

As a guidance counsellor I am qualified to tell you that it’s okay to double your daily dose of diet pills. It’ll help with your second chin.

Oh honey, double the dose isn’t nearly enough for you

hambeet
Sep 13, 2002

Your husband disagrees

hambeet
Sep 13, 2002

*looks at hands* What have I become?

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Your Personal Muse
Oct 5, 2010

what a cool dude
Oh Karen you were always such a joker, everyone knows someone like...you can’t get someone like Richard

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