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BurntCornMuffin
Jan 9, 2009



Polaron posted:

That's an interesting re-imagining of the UE Cruiser:


That is clearly a sex toy with bloody knives strapped to it.

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JeremoudCorbynejad
Jul 6, 2007



BurntCornMuffin posted:

That is clearly a sex toy with bloody knives strapped to it.

Or as I call it, a sex toy

Bug Squash
Mar 18, 2009


YOU CAN STOMP US!

YOU CAN SQUASH US!

BUT YOU'LL NEVER EVER STOP US!



Se7en (1995)

Polaron
Oct 13, 2010

The Oncoming Storm


BurntCornMuffin posted:

That is clearly a sex toy with bloody knives strapped to it.

How dare you besmirch the mightiest vessel in the United Earth armada.

The Igazra is the sex toy:


Mordja posted:

Oh cool, so they are redoing the graphics after all, despite not hitting that stretch goal.

Reading the update, it looks like they're going with the philosophy of "If we're updating this, it needs to actually be an update", which is kind of a refreshing stance.

Polaron fucked around with this message at 23:17 on Sep 11, 2020

ThingOne
Jul 30, 2011



Would you like some tofu?




Salad Prong

Polaron posted:

How dare you besmirch the mightiest vessel in the United Earth armada.

The Igazra is the sex toy:



Spewing its SAE(d) all over the place

ConfusedUs
Feb 24, 2004

Bees?
You want fucking bees?
Here you go!
ROLL INITIATIVE!!




Wow it's everything I hate about the TIE Defender, but worse somehow.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.



I love any ship where the artist clearly thought "gently caress, this is a penis" and began adding elements to reduce the phallic quality but it keeps getting dickier

Horizon Burning
Oct 23, 2019



those ships are so loving ugly, good lord. give me ev: nova's designs over those terrible ones any day

Defiance Industries
Jul 22, 2010

A five-star manufacturer




I know it's just a simulator but I think the Eleven Herbs and Spices Experience should still count.

Gravitas Shortfall
Jul 17, 2007

Utility is seven-eighths Proximity.



Brawnfire posted:

I love any ship where the artist clearly thought "gently caress, this is a penis" and began adding elements to reduce the phallic quality but it keeps getting dickier

JeremoudCorbynejad
Jul 6, 2007



It's ribbed for your pleasure.

Psycho Landlord
Oct 10, 2012

What are you gonna do, dance with me?




Shameful that we have gone this many pages and this many mentions without anyone actually posting the Space Battleship Yamato itself. Guess it's up to me to bring the incredibly unfortunate WW2 apologia and colossally phallic space guns to this thread.



The OG itself, the Yamato, literally the IJN Yamato of WW2 infamy hollowed out and crammed full of alien technology on loan from some space lady because the bad nazi aliens (who are really just misunderstood, we promise you guys) nuked all of Earth's oceans away which meant that there was this already conveniently built hunk of near-invincible steel in the shape of a ship right here on the surface for us to use what luck - yes we are ignoring the fact that the actual IJN Yamato is in two halves miles apart from each other and full of holes. And then because humanity is also better at this whole space war thing then everybody else we thought hey why not also have the insane space engine the good alien gave us be connected to a giant gun barrel on the front of the ship, and thus the planet-cracking Wave Motion Gun was born, and used to settle the vast majority of problems in the original show. This thing has it all, bigass energy weapons, torpedo and missile launchers, that war crime at the front, a contingent of space marines armed with space panzerfausts, and it even carries a squadron of fighters somehow, which are also conveniently named after WW2 japanese aircraft. It's a better battlestar than the galactica!

But we gotta give honorable mention to the Yamato's own personal Excelsior, the Andromeda



Intended to be the new and best space battleship in Earth's fleet after the Yamato saved the day the first time, human engineers looked at the idea of building an actual space ship with 3d gun coverage and more sensible weapon placement and all that, said nah, and then just bolted a second war crime cannon to the thing. And it worked because the Andromeda wound up being one of the coolest looking spaceships in this particular era of pulpy sci-fi even if it did get chumped by its predecessor because it simply didn't have that Yamato Spirit.

If you were a dumb kid who loved star trek and WW2 ships and then your dad came home one day with a bunch of bootleg VHSs of the original american run of this show it was the tightest poo poo ever, and there's honestly a ton of cool designs in here that are utterly nonsensical but are great "wet navy in space" aesthetic. It even got a remake that cut most of the really nationalist poo poo out called Space Battleship Yamato 2199, which is a decent watch if you can deal with anime to get your space fights fix.

Also this was a few pages back but holy poo poo other people played Infinite Space. I thought that game was a fever dream I had.

Psycho Landlord fucked around with this message at 16:52 on Sep 16, 2020

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.




Oh... so this thing hypnotizes you, stabilizes itself, then penetrates you with a ribbed hull, all the while menacing you with a stiletto? Yo keep the Syreen far away from me

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!


Brawnfire posted:

Oh... so this thing hypnotizes you, stabilizes itself, then penetrates you with a ribbed hull, all the while menacing you with a stiletto?

Only if you're the last man out. Syreen ships set out with less than half of their intended crew compliment. They fill their ranks by hypnotizing crew of other ships, whom they bring on board. When the enemy vessel is down to only one crew member, they blow it up. After the battle, previously hypnotized crew generally stay on board willingly, because now they get to cruise around with a bunch of Syreen and that's good.

Fighting them is basically a reverse lottery.

Bug Squash
Mar 18, 2009


YOU CAN STOMP US!

YOU CAN SQUASH US!

BUT YOU'LL NEVER EVER STOP US!


Chomp8645 posted:

Only if you're the last man out. Syreen ships set out with less than half of their intended crew compliment. They fill their ranks by hypnotizing crew of other ships, whom they bring on board. When the enemy vessel is down to only one crew member, they blow it up. After the battle, previously hypnotized crew generally stay on board willingly, because now they get to cruise around with a bunch of Syreen and that's good.

Fighting them is basically a reverse lottery.

All that depends on the Syreen ship not getting blown out of the sky by a vastly superior ship, by which I mean any other ship in the universe.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Psycho Landlord posted:



If you were a dumb kid who loved star trek and WW2 ships and then your dad came home one day with a bunch of bootleg VHSs of the original american run of this show it was the tightest poo poo ever, and there's honestly a ton of cool designs in here that are utterly nonsensical but are great "wet navy in space" aesthetic. It even got a remake that cut most of the really nationalist poo poo out called Space Battleship Yamato 2199, which is a decent watch if you can deal with anime to get your space fights fix.


Agreed, Space Battleship Yamato is a lot of fun. The art direction of 2199 is, to me, the ideal of a remake; it looks like it was made by people who loved the original and wanted to make higher-fidelity versions of the old designs.

My biggest complaint about 2199 is that the men got great updated uniform designs, and the women almost all got stuck in plugsuits. It was really unnecessary and gross.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


Also to be fair to the original show runners, I don't think they knew back then that the old Yamato had broken in two.

Psycho Landlord
Oct 10, 2012

What are you gonna do, dance with me?




Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

Agreed, Space Battleship Yamato is a lot of fun. The art direction of 2199 is, to me, the ideal of a remake; it looks like it was made by people who loved the original and wanted to make higher-fidelity versions of the old designs.

My biggest complaint about 2199 is that the men got great updated uniform designs, and the women almost all got stuck in plugsuits. It was really unnecessary and gross.

Hey now, they gave the female uniforms belts, that's an update! Why no there are no belt loops and they just sorta sit on their hips but it's still an update!

(2199 is horny as hell so be aware of that if you go for a watch. Still worth it tho.)

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!


Bug Squash posted:

All that depends on the Syreen ship not getting blown out of the sky by a vastly superior ship, by which I mean any other ship in the universe.

*In a Zot-Fot-Pik voice*

Yep, the Syreen ship is definitely the worst! There aren't any ships worse than theirs, that's for sure!

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


The perfect ship for when you need to fly directly up your opponent's rear end.

MadDogMike
Apr 9, 2008

Can I come out and play?

Chomp8645 posted:

*In a Zot-Fot-Pik voice*

Yep, the Syreen ship is definitely the worst! There aren't any ships worse than theirs, that's for sure!

It's OK dudes, you still beat them at Frungy.

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

STOP BEING EVIL.


Here's a couple that are one of my earlier memories.



The Ark and Nemesis, one a jumble of spikes, the other a half-disk covered in greebles. They get entwined and crash on earth where they lay dormant for a couple million years.



The Ark has a really neat front cannon, but it wound up wedged in a mountain for the rest of its days until in 2012 when the Autobots moved out to the city.





The Nemesis got made into a much cooler underwater base and extended a tower up to launch their attacks from. I don't think they ever got it flying again though. Instead they just figured out how to build a wormhole back to Cybertron.





Linux Pirate posted:

Don't have a lot of info on this ship. Came from my disorganized Sci-Fi pics folder. Pretty sure it's Star Wars.



Anyway, looks cool.

This one I really liked in the thread where I got really into looking at deckplans.

SlothfulCobra posted:

Now here's a snug little ship.





This one is an alright hauler, but there's so much crew quarters that it could make a pretty good home base for a whole team of people, which considering that most of these ships with elaborate deckplans on grid systems are from RPG systems, is probably the idea.





I think there's a ship out there that has this same layout but double cargo bays for a more symmetric look.



Chomp8645 posted:

*In a Zot-Fot-Pik voice*

Yep, the Syreen ship is definitely the worst! There aren't any ships worse than theirs, that's for sure!

The Zot-Fot-Piq ship is all about licking as I remember.

It was a really cool idea to use crew as health and then with Syreen, Druuge, and Orz have ways to manipulate crew aside from just damage.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.





ConfusedUs posted:

Wow it's everything I hate about the TIE Defender, but worse somehow.

I loved the TIE defender, because it came as a way to get more powerful in a video game.

rndmnmbr
Jul 3, 2012



You, the bad guys, have "death gliders"? Well you're a bunch of dicks, and gently caress you anyways. We're going to steal your poo poo, reverse-engineer it with the best of our late-90's science, cram in a couple of features you forgot, and let the Air Force (back when the F-22 was awesome and it hadn't made an rear end of itself with the F-35) build a bunch of them.



The F-302 Interceptor, a space-superiority fighter. Capable of intra-atmospheric flight, space maneuverability, and a big-rear end rocket for orbital insertion. Goa-uld tech includes inertial dampeners so we can accelerate and maneuver at high-G as comfortable as if we were sitting on the couch at home. Armed with a dual-bank railgun and modified AIM-120 AMRAAM missiles - shame you got so stuck on lovely energy weapons you couldn't see use of fire-and-forget kinetic weapons. And for that extra gently caress-you, we can mount multiple gigaton nuclear weapons to really give you a bad day.

Er... yeah, there were some teething problems, and the hyperspace generator turned out to be a no-go (loving unstable isotopes of strange alien metals),
But at the end of the day, Earth (with the help of some friends) kicked your lovely System Lords' asses so hard you'll never be a real threat again. Or, shall I say, we skinned you like a bunch of snakes.

twistedmentat
Nov 21, 2003

What's a war hero got to do to get some lubrication around here?



Yea its pretty cool that Stargate actually had humans learning from all the Alien Tech they found and made the Earth a galactic power. Especially at the end where the Asgard just give Humanity all of its knowlage. If Stargate ever comes back I hope they have this tech being available for consumers.

Decorus
Aug 26, 2015


The Stargate space program had the best progression: F-301 is a Death Glider with an AF sticker on the side (including functional Goa'uld anti-tamper units), F-302 is fully functional more-or-less all-human designed space fighter and the F-303 is a huge space battleship/carrier with a crew of hundreds.

Also, the Y-Wing is the best spacefighter. Space Swordfish with space torpedoes to fight space Nazis.

rndmnmbr
Jul 3, 2012



twistedmentat posted:

Especially at the end where the Asgard just give Humanity all of its knowlage.

This is still a sore point with me. Not only did it do one of my favorite alien races dirty, but handing over the entire Asgard tech base to humanity was unnecessary and undermined all the hard work humanity had done to reverse engineer first the goa'uld and later Ancient tech.

Stanley Tucheetos
May 15, 2012



rndmnmbr posted:

This is still a sore point with me. Not only did it do one of my favorite alien races dirty, but handing over the entire Asgard tech base to humanity was unnecessary and undermined all the hard work humanity had done to reverse engineer first the goa'uld and later Ancient tech.

I really liked it when their ships used kinetic weapons like rail guns , missiles, and nukes over the energy weapons. It was a nice theme too with having best in class asgard shields with worst in class weapons. The worst was having the ori ships decimate an entire fleet only for the last episode being able to 3v1 them. Also rapid fire rail guns and nukes just look better.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.



Plus there's an awe to it that beam weapons can't muster. In my real-world experience, nuclear weapons were catastrophic for two entire cities, and have grown exponentially in power ever since. The idea of lobbing those off one after another and having them plink like peas off an enemy's shields is hosed up and balls terrifying

SavageGentleman
Feb 28, 2010

I've got to run, I'll be seeing you!

- from about 6,000 feet!


Fallen Rib

My problem with the later seasons or iterations of Stargate as well as the Halo universe is that humanity, once the plucky underdog, is now turning into an unbeatable power that spreads its superior military over the stars to free the galaxy from evil(tm) in a pretty obvious recreation of American self-idealisation post WW2. Not a big fan of this last stage of "humans, f*ck yeah!" Scifi syndrome.

I still like the early Halo novels for showing that in the years before the Convenant attacked, the UNSC was unsuccessfully fighting a rising number of rebels in the various colony worlds - people striving for independence from a centralized and Earth-bound regime that was turning more authoritarian with every year. The Spartan program was originally financed to create special forces able to hunt down resistance leaders but was then repurposed.

frogge
Apr 7, 2006




I find the whole Earth turns into another empire just at an interstellar level schtick sadly realistic. There's some great sci fi stories to be told in that space, as The Expanse series shows, but I can't fault anyone wanting sci fi to be optimistic and being turned off by the grittiness of those settings.

Tighclops
Jan 23, 2008

Unable to deal with it



Grimey Drawer

SavageGentleman posted:

My problem with the later seasons or iterations of Stargate as well as the Halo universe is that humanity, once the plucky underdog, is now turning into an unbeatable power that spreads its superior military over the stars to free the galaxy from evil(tm) in a pretty obvious recreation of American self-idealisation post WW2. Not a big fan of this last stage of "humans, f*ck yeah!" Scifi syndrome.

I still like the early Halo novels for showing that in the years before the Convenant attacked, the UNSC was unsuccessfully fighting a rising number of rebels in the various colony worlds - people striving for independence from a centralized and Earth-bound regime that was turning more authoritarian with every year. The Spartan program was originally financed to create special forces able to hunt down resistance leaders but was then repurposed.

Halo's backstory is hilariously fashy and iirc later on in one of the 343 games when you meet the governor of the separatist colony he is a mustache twirling evil bastard.

rndmnmbr
Jul 3, 2012



That was something I liked about Scalzi's Old Man's War series, humanity was explicitly a small player in a vast sea of alien races. And when a bunch of said races band together into a federation, humanity doesn't join up but instead opposes them - we're the bad guys instead.

twistedmentat
Nov 21, 2003

What's a war hero got to do to get some lubrication around here?



frogge posted:

I find the whole Earth turns into another empire just at an interstellar level schtick sadly realistic. There's some great sci fi stories to be told in that space, as The Expanse series shows, but I can't fault anyone wanting sci fi to be optimistic and being turned off by the grittiness of those settings.

Yea that's what I like, we would not let those drat aliens have tech that put them above us. We'd build our own murder ships and show them what's for.

Tighclops posted:

Halo's backstory is hilariously fashy and iirc later on in one of the 343 games when you meet the governor of the separatist colony he is a mustache twirling evil bastard.

What is fashy about a pretty bog standard ancient aliens plot about Humans are actually just a branch of the super aliens from the past

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

STOP BEING EVIL.


That's going back too far.

Halo's backstory for humanity in between now and the war with the covenant has some really extreme post-9/11 energy. As I recall, it went that the colony worlds were trying to break from Earth's control, and initially had a lot of public support, but then in their war for independence they did a Terrorism, and thus lost the support of most of humanity and justified the creation of the Spartan program, which made superhumans out of children that were kidnapped by hospitals that faked their deaths to the parents.

And then the Covenant attacked and everyone realized the importance of adhering to Earth's rule regardless of human rights violations, because those darn religious fundamentalists (at least, the weird foreign ones) will kill us all. Don't criticize the government, support our troops.

I didn't like the backstory that the later games came up with for Precursors, but leaning further into the fascism of humanity made sense.

It also leans hard into the way that a lot of sci-fi tries to make Human ships utilitarian grey metal with straight lines and right angles, while alien ships get to be colorful with fancy-looking shapes.





RBA Starblade
Apr 27, 2008

Going Home.



Games Idiot Court Jester


quote:

As I recall, it went that the colony worlds were trying to break from Earth's control, and initially had a lot of public support, but then in their war for independence they did a Terrorism, and thus lost the support of most of humanity and justified the creation of the Spartan program, which made superhumans out of children that were kidnapped by hospitals that faked their deaths to the parents.

The Spartan program and what they're really there for or why they really exist is kept secret from nearly everyone (including nearly all the military, who for all they really know, outside of some higherups, they're just good soldiers and it's all a next-gen weapons platform thing) and when the Covenant war ends, and the UNSC relinquishes control back to the civilian government, they immediately go "so how did you make those Mister Chiefs anyway, we should probably have more", realize it was a mega crime against humanity, and immediately start looking into trying people for said crimes, and the Spartan program changes into a "give volunteering really good soldiers cybernetic enhancements" program.

Halo 1 through Reach the backstory is mostly as you say, the outer colonies want self-rule, the Earth government doesn't want to let them because Earth can't sustain itself without them, and rather than full on war or granting independence they look into assassinations and killteams by making the Spartan program (this part's kind of a "but why" though), which is then sort of like a lucky break that they can move into assassinations of the Covenant high command instead. Halo 4 changes it so it's apparently written in our dna to eventually want to create Master Chief, jackoff suit and all, after we lost a war with the ancient aliens who punished us by turning us into monkey men but just in case the alien megavirus monster attacks again, they want us to be able to defend ourselves in the future since we were runners-up in dealing with it, so we were going to sooner or later anyway. No, really.

rndmnmbr
Jul 3, 2012



Halo had some of the most poetic ship names. Pillar of Autumn. Forward Unto Dawn. In Amber Clad. I wish more franchises got that creative with ship names.

e. According to a Halo wiki, there was also a Two For Flinching. Goddamn it Iain Banks are you going to infect every franchise? (Please infect ever franchise.)

rndmnmbr fucked around with this message at 01:26 on Oct 13, 2020

MikeJF
Dec 20, 2003






Halo names remind me of Alistair Reynolds names. Nostalgia for Infinity, Silence Under Snow, Zodiacal Light, etc.

rndmnmbr
Jul 3, 2012



So here's one without pictures: The FSP Heavy Cruiser Zaid-Dayan from Anne McCaffrey's Planet Pirates series. Imagine a slightly flattened egg painted bright orange, with a ring of drive pods bolted to the hull just aft of the greatest diameter. Armed to the teeth with a mix of energy, missile and kinetic weaponry, and a company of powered-armor wearing Space Marines and light fighter craft, a combined battleship/troop ship/carrier. Can take on an enemy capital ship toe to toe while simultaneously supporting a light ground strike force against an enemy base. Also comes with multiple redundant comms systems and multiple IFF-reading systems to strip vital ownership info from pirate ships. Maybe the only sci-fi spaceship to do the smart thing and put the bridge at the center of the ship.

But that's not what makes it dangerous: it's been retrofitted with stealth tech, and has it's FTL drives controlled by a Ssli, a kind of sentient sea anemone, an allied race, with the species "hat" of being able to sense and track other ships in FTL. Perfect for it's stated mission of laying in wait for a pirate to cross it's path, track them back to their base, and capture it intact while leaving any defense force a bunch of floating debris.

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muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



SlothfulCobra posted:

That's going back too far.

Halo's backstory for humanity in between now and the war with the covenant has some really extreme post-9/11 energy. As I recall, it went that the colony worlds were trying to break from Earth's control, and initially had a lot of public support, but then in their war for independence they did a Terrorism, and thus lost the support of most of humanity and justified the creation of the Spartan program, which made superhumans out of children that were kidnapped by hospitals that faked their deaths to the parents.


It was actually worse than that. They kidnapped children and replaced them with fast grown clone copies but a side effect of the rapid growth was an extremely reduced lifespan. So the parents got the joy of watching their children die from mega-cancer.

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