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CainFortea
Oct 15, 2004



We have 4 dogs at my work regularly. 3 of them are the best dogs ever.

One of them is a poo poo. And he constantly gets himself worked in a tizzy when he isn't pampered. Like when the oldest boss's kid isn't in view he'll stand by the double doors that lead into the back where she normally is and looses his god damned mind. I may be biased, since this is the same dog who ran across the room and did a flying jump with two paws into my junk a week after my vasectomy.

We call one of our offices "Doggy jail" because when he gets like this the only way to calm him down is to put him in there and close the window (otherwise he jumps out the window into the front counter area).

This normally works, but one of the boss's kids is *really* stupid and she thinks she's the dog whisperer and so she keeps letting him back out and riling him back up before loving off somewhere.

This is the same dog who hams it up like Shatner when that same oldest kid sees him. Recently he tweaked one of his legs. He was totally fine when it was just me, the dog, and the middle kid. The second the oldest one walked in the door he flops over dramatically and whines like he's missing an entire leg. She spent an hour sitting on the ground with him until she could take him to the vet.

So yea, what weird pet stories do you have?

mod edit: Previous month's thread here: https://forums.somethingawful.com/s...ber=51#lastpost

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The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.


My dog Karl is a crucial part of Task Force Trash Panda, as the recon/assault element. He has over 80 enemy intercepts and neutralizations to his service record and has been decorated for his bravery, cunning, dash and expert application of his dogbatives training in paw to paw combat. He was recently injured in combat, but has since recovered and serves once more. He brings great credit upon himself, his chicken coop, and Task Force Trash Panda.

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"



Fun Shoe

Weird Pet Stories -

For a year or so, I had a job that required me to travel America constantly. It paid poo poo ($100 a day + $30 per diem on a company debit card!) but I didn't have a girlfriend and was glad to travel. It was the Great Recession and I was glad to be working. In less than three quarters, I logged 180 nights in hotels. I was on the road, a lot.

I didn't have the money or the time to do a bunch of tourist stuff. I normally spent my first day's debit per diem on groceries I could make in my hotel's microwave and saved the subsequent debit per diem to eat at one nice Thai restaurant a day. This often left me with some time to kill, cheaply.

I went to parrot stores. I missed my birds who were at home with my best buddy and room mate. I made a point to visit as many parrot shops as I could across America. In Florida, I found a place that specialized in large parrots.

I walked in and they had a well lit area of eight cages all next to each other. Each cage had a big rear end macaw doing macaw things. As I walked up, a chorus of, "Hello! HELLO! Hi! Hey!" came out from all the birds. They all had their unique way of saying howdy to me and I thought it was cool as hell. Then, the parrot on the end didn't say hello. He started loudly meowing at me while waving a foot. Weird.

I spent fifteen or twenty minutes playing around and talking with the birds. Weirdo the Cat Bird just kept meowing and waving the whole time. I figured he was the weirdo of the group, so I liked him a lot.

As I started to walk away, a chorus of different bird voices said, "Bye! Bye bye! Good bye!" Just like when I walked over and they hit me with a chorus of hellos, they now had a chorus of good byes. It was one of the damndest things ever, all these birds speaking appropriate English phrases to me.

Then the chorus got to the Cat Bird who had been meowing up until this point. When the chorus of farewells got to him, he shouting, "HELLO!!!"

I wanted to take him home.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

There’s a dog that escapes constantly in my neighborhood and I’ve given up on returning her home past the first couple times because her owners seem resigned and occasionally she will go wolf-mode and bear her teeth. Some kind of Husky-ish dog.

Craptacular
Jul 11, 2004



My pet story:

I had some fish once but then they all died and I never got any more and I eventually sold the aquarium.

THE END.

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you


My childhood dog was this super chill black cocker spaniel. She would every now and again stalk and kill a hapless bird in the backyard. It was gross but also really impressive.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

I grew up in essentially a zoo complete with reptiles, amphibians, birds, saltwater/freshwater fish, coral, insects, arachnids, llamas, a horse, invertebrates, and some feeders/breeder colonies to feed the above.

That was amazing as a kid but the older I got the more I vowed to keep to lower workload animals. So, you know, cats. Maybe a dog someday.

priznat
Jul 7, 2009

Let's get drunk and kiss each other all night.

mlmp08 posted:

There’s a dog that escapes constantly in my neighborhood and I’ve given up on returning her home past the first couple times because her owners seem resigned and occasionally she will go wolf-mode and bear her teeth. Some kind of Husky-ish dog.

Friends down the block had a dog that would just wander from house to house and if people were home would give her a treat and she would continue along, up one side of the street and back the other. She was even smart enough to skip houses where the owners weren’t home because their car wasn’t there.

She also had the quirk of requiring to be tucked in her basket at night with a blanket that completely encased her. Funny dog, about a 25lb smooth coated mutt named Taffy and the colour of the same. Intelligent but not in the highly trained way a lot of smart dogs are, more street smart than book smart!

Shooting Blanks
Jun 6, 2007

Real bullets mess up how cool this thing looks.

-Blade




A couple years ago I was convinced to take over a short term emergency foster (long, uninteresting story). Super sweet 7 month old pit bull. Emphasis on all of those words. All the energy of a puppy, all the strength of a nearly full size pit bull, but sweet as can be - just a lot of dog. One odd thing about him, however, was that while he loved every human and wanted all of the pets all the time, he didn't really care that much about other, non-dog animals. He wanted to meet and socialize with other dogs, but the house I was living in at the time also had a sizeable feral cat population in the neighborhood.

Indy didn't care. He'd see a cat, stop and stare for a minute trying to figure out WTF it was, and then we'd go on our way. He wouldn't pull at a cat (he'd pull for everything else, I'm lucky my shoulder is still intact), he wouldn't growl or bark, just sort of cock his head and we'd move on. One night, however, one of the cats saw us coming about a half block up and darted into the hedge right next to the sidewalk. We get there and Indy can smell...something. He's not sure what but it's super interesting so we hang out for a minute and he starts probing the hedge with his nose trying to find the source. However, the cat had only hidden there - it hadn't escape. So after about 5 seconds of probing the cat lets out one the loudest yowls I've ever heard. Scared the living poo poo out of this dog, and all of a sudden I had about 70 pounds of pit bull trying to jump in my arms.

We didn't stop to investigate any more smells on the rest of that walk. Indy was a good dog.

One more funny thing about that dog - I was almost constantly injured while I was fostering. I only had him for about 3 months for reasons, but in that time I broke a pair of ribs and a toe. Let me tell you, having a pit bull puppy pull as hard as possible to say to someone with a pair of broken ribs is not a fun experience.

poeticoddity
Jan 14, 2007
"How nice - to feel nothing and still get full credit for being alive." - Kurt Vonnegut Jr. - Slaughterhouse Five

I'm going to tell y'all about Buster, because I miss him.
  • My family got Buster my senior year of high school. My mom had wanted to get another cat after our previous one had passed, and she decided the best way to do this was to have my little brother pick out a kitten (by rubbing his face on kittens to find one that didn't cause allergies) and then present it to my father for his birthday, because otherwise he'd say "No more cats." My dad ended up naming him Buster.
  • Buster was extensively handled by small children and was looked over by a pitbull until the day he came home with us. As a result, he liked everyone and was convinced he was a dog and could do dog stuff, even when he couldn't.
  • Since I was the last one awake each night until I left for undergrad, and Buster was a bit young to spend the night alone, he slept on my chest every single night...until one morning I was awoken early to him having explosive diarrhea on my feet. He slept downstairs after that.
  • It took over two years before he figured out "laps". He'd just hop on the couch next to you and wedge himself down between your leg and the armrest. Eventually something clicked and he got it.
  • Buster tried to fight a pair of large chows that waked by the yard one day, and the owner thankfully held her dogs back while this little idiot did the arched-back angry hop thing.
  • While my brother was walking a neighbor's Saint Bernard, Buster sprinted across the yard and jumped onto the dog's face. This dog promptly shook his head and yeeted the still tiny cat back onto the lawn.
  • For some reason, Buster decided to chase a buck onto the neighbor's wrap-around porch, and was eventually kicked over the railing and back into our yard. To my knowledge, he actually learned his lesson and left deer alone after that.
  • Because of the early bonding time (and the fact that I didn't try to pick him up, unlike my younger siblings), I became Buster's favorite, and he'd go apeshit when I came home to visit. This became even more intense when I started wearing undyed leather shoes, and he'd spend upwards of half an hour rubbing his face on my feet when I'd return.
  • He was a filthy cat. He'd regularly come home covered in dirt or the grime from vehicle undercarriages. My mom regularly tried to scrub what she thought was motor oil off of his legs for months before coming to the conclusion that he actually just had some grey fur there, because it matched other stuff she'd successfully washed off in the past.
  • Buster used to follow my brother down to the bus stop every morning before school. When my brother graduated, he apparently would continue escorting random children to the bus.
  • When we had Buster neutered, he decided the best course of action as his anesthesia wore off was to run around the house dragging his empty nutsack and fresh stitches along the carpet until I caught him and locked him in a non-carpeted bathroom
  • Last week, despite being over 15 years old (which is astonishing for an indoor/outdoor cat), Buster managed to catch a flying squirrel.
  • I don't know if he ever caught a normal squirrel, but I do know he refused to eat any of the squirrel I took from my grandfather's yard, and I have never been so disappointed in an animal before.
  • He would run out into the rain, spend a few moments processing that it was raining, and then sprint back inside. Then he'd stand by his food bowl and cry (in-between stuffing his face) until someone dried him off with a hand towel.
  • I refuse to believe the professors who told me that cats don't have sweet taste receptors, because I have watched Buster eat a fruit roll up, popsicles, hard candy, fruit, and pancake syrup.
  • The finale (): Earlier this week, my dad called me to let me know Buster had been hit by an Amazon delivery driver. He managed to scoop him out of the road about two minutes before one of the neighborhood kids he'd play with went by on a tricycle. I didn't ask for details, but he's buried in my parents' backyard (which may be code for "was thrown into the sinkhole"). I can't confirm, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he died the way he lived: Sleeping in the street and assuming people would see him and slow down, with not a single gently caress given.
    Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I will always miss that lovable idiot.

NerdyMcNerdNerd
Aug 3, 2004

Lol.i halbve already saod i inferno circstances wanttpgback


All dogs go to Outer Heaven.

I've owned four dogs now, only one lives. Poor little dude went more or less blind a few months ago and I didn't notice until I saw him being very wary around walls and poo poo. It was amazing how fast he adapted to being blind.

Last time I took him to the groomer, I told her, as I was dropping off, "be careful, he's blind." She made appropriate 'aw' sounds and carried him off. I came back five hours later, popped a squat as he was led out, and greeted the dog. The groomer let go the leash, and the dog ran straight toward me and into a chair.

"OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY IS HE BLIND?!" and I'm loving cry-laughing

Somebody Awful
Nov 27, 2011

Don't let Lowtax go down with the ship. Do your part for these dead gay forums.


poeticoddity posted:

As a result, he liked everyone and was convinced he was a dog and could do dog stuff, even when he couldn't.

The best kind of cat. RIP.

Beardless
Aug 12, 2011

I am Centurion Titus Polonius. And the only trouble I've had is that nobody seem to realize that I'm their superior officer.


poeticoddity posted:

I'm going to tell y'all about Buster, because I miss him.

Buster was a great cat, I'm sorry he's gone.

Jehde
Apr 20, 2010

Who protects?


Grimey Drawer

I don't have a weird pet story, but I may as well post about my good boy, Buddy.

I was at a lake one summer as a kid, the same lake where I learned to shoot pellet guns, and where I shot my first firearm. For some reason we were at the public beach area of the lake, probably looking for turtles or something. Then completely unprompted, this west highland white terrier poodle mix came up to me with a stick, ready to play.

I played with this random dog at the lake for a good couple hours, so my dad found the owners, an elderly couple. They were looking to get rid of Buddy, because their grandson is allergic to dogs and they just couldn't figure out how to make it work. So, the remainder of our trip at the lake (we stayed in a cabin for a bit), we had Buddy stay over to see how it would worked out.

Now, I'm actually allergic to dogs myself, but there was no way I was going to let my allergies stand in the way of the friendship I was building with this dog. So I did my best to pretend that my allergies weren't bothering me, and being extra careful to not make it an issue. Then when it came time to go home, it was time for the final test: I had to climb in the back of the car (Nissan hatchback) and keep Buddy on my lap as we drove (a few hours) home. I practically held my breath for the majority of that car ride. But we made it, we passed. Buddy was now an integral part of the family.

We lived with Buddy for a while and had a tonne of great times. I'm not sure if anyone else knows terriers, but they can fuckin run, Buddy would often outrun a chuckit throw. They can also dig really well, which annoyed the hell out of my dad as he tried to dog proof the yard. He was the perfect family dog, super smart, playful, loyal, he had it all.

Then one day I came home to the bad news. As my dad was working out in the yard, Buddy ran out into the street for some reason, and he was hit by a truck that came speeding around a corner ignoring the stop sign. My dad told the dangerous driver to get lost, he was never the vengeful type. But it was a very sad day for everyone in the family. We tried to get other westiepoos afterwards, but none were the same and we just ended up finding different homes for them.

We cremated Buddy, and spread some of his ashes out on the lake.

Jehde
Apr 20, 2010

Who protects?


Grimey Drawer

Actually long before Buddy (or even me), we had a beagle named Buster. Buster was dumb as hell, liked to drag his rear end on the carpet and eat his own poo. I don't think that's weird for beagle standards, but kinda weird for pet standards.

Proper Kerni ng
Nov 14, 2011



Anybody else have a roadrager point a revolver at them on their way to work today, or just me? Thanks for pulling in front to do it, dumbass, that means you just committed a state jail felony in full view of my daschcam.

One of our cats is a tuxedo loaf who's terrified of the entire world and everything in it, up to and including Her Own rear end; I occasionally see her walking along in the yard and turn her head just in time to see her own tail twitching into her peripheral vision, and take the hell off to get away from it. The smaller auxilliary cat is the gabbiest tabby I've ever seen, just constant wurfling and burbling and tribble noises, but at some point she got hurt and learned that making That Horrible Distressed Cat Noise got her immediate attention, so now every frickin' time she wants to go outside she makes noises like someone who fell off a motorcycle in shorts and a T-shirt and has twice the number of bones as they started the day with.

Shooting Blanks
Jun 6, 2007

Real bullets mess up how cool this thing looks.

-Blade




Please let us know how that case goes, I'm already curious if that person will even face charges. Did your dashcam get their face as well?

my kinda ape
Sep 15, 2008

Everything's gonna be A-OK


Hair Elf

Proper Kerni ng posted:

Anybody else have a roadrager point a revolver at them on their way to work today, or just me? Thanks for pulling in front to do it, dumbass, that means you just committed a state jail felony in full view of my daschcam.

Glad you're safe!

Comedy reply: congrats on your successful return fire

Jehde
Apr 20, 2010

Who protects?


Grimey Drawer

Proper Kerni ng posted:

Anybody else have a roadrager point a revolver at them on their way to work today, or just me?

gently caress.

Proper Kerni ng posted:

Thanks for pulling in front to do it, dumbass, that means you just committed a state jail felony in full view of my daschcam.

Nice.

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"



Fun Shoe

That person really needs to not have guns.

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006



Captain Log posted:

That person really needs to not have guns.

If you’re going to read the mod queue at least clear a few reports.

Applesnots
Oct 22, 2010

MERRY YOBMAS



My cat died back in January on the day I was fired.

I found her in a dryer on a neighbors back porch crying. Just a little black fuzzball.

That was 1998.

We moved all over the country together.

She was a good kitty. Her body is in my empty freezer.

We went through a lot together, 20 years, I am going to cover her in screen, stake it down and let nature skeletonize her.

Articulate her skeleton with some silver wire, she deserves that.

20 fuckin' years.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009




Clapping Larry

Cyrano4747 posted:

If you’re going to read the mod queue at least clear a few reports.

lol

I gotta tell you most stories I hear about people with guns I have Captain Log's response.

Dip Viscous
Sep 17, 2019



Cyrano4747 posted:

If you’re going to read the mod queue at least clear a few reports.

Is the report forum at least divided up by what subforum the report came from, or is it just a garden hose spray of crazy poo poo?

tarlibone
Aug 1, 2014


Am I a... bad person?
AM I??


Fun Shoe

First of all, the best dog is worse than the worst cat. Fight me. (And remember, I just bought a 44, and all the ranges are closed.)

My oldest cat, Snowy, is a tabby. She's closing in on 20 years old. She's a shorthair, but as with all old cats, her fur started matting up, and her claws wouldn't retract properly, so she'd get stuck in upholstery all the time. A couple months ago, we took her to have the mats cut off, because good luck cutting off a cat's mats properly.

(For those who only have experience with dogs, here's what I mean: they sell sheers and other weird tools designed to remove mats from a dog's fur. These aren't safe for cats, because cats have extremely loose skin--this is due to their objective biological superiority to dogs in every conceivable metric--and if you use those on a cat, it'll get so injured that when you die, you go to cat hell. That's hell, except cats. Everywhere. And they know what you did.)

Over the last several months, she's done something none of our previous elderly cats has done: she's started drinking out of the toilet. Seriously, she never did this before. And, she starts meowing loudly for no reason. Unless we close the lid on the toilet--if we do that, it's every couple of hours. Imagine super-loud meowning for 10 minutes every hour or two all night long. Yep. But, she doesn't have any diseases yet, and she's relatively healthy, though she's losing weight. We can't just put her down. I have a more angry cat living downstairs with my son who will relentlessly attack Snowy for reasons we can't fathom (they used to get along fine), so it's a whole thing here in the Tarlibone house.

(I don't hate all dogs. Sure, they're inferior to cats, but Shelby, my brother's dog, was nice. She must have known I didn't like dogs. When I'd visit, I'd sit on their couch, and this big ol' lab would come up, sit right next to me, and lean on me hard. If I ignored her, she'd put her head under my hand and pop it up so that I was petting her. This annoyed me at first, but my brother and his wife loved it. I eventually just accepted that Shelby was "one of the good ones," and I do miss that dog. And my grandma's boxers, because I thought that it was funny how they used my leg as a shelf for their heads.)

Also, the guitarist in my band is finding it hilarious that I bought the 629. We've been trading clips of Sledge Hammer all night, even after 9 PM, our normal agreed-upon silence deadline. When he bought a boat years ago, I lived a boating life through him. I have a feeling he's going to live a big bore revolver life through me. And looking at these clips, I see that Sledge said "Hammer time" back in 1986 or 1987, before the big hit from a certain emcee. Also, he used the term "'muricans" way back before that was a thing. How has this show not been made into a movie? (Hollywood: don't do it; you'll just gently caress it up.)

Coxswain Balls
Jun 3, 2001

I'm not looking for your validation through this telescope, just planets boobies bullets


College Slice



Here's hoping I don't wake up tomorrow and go oh god what have I done. In the heat of the moment though spite purchasing feels good as hell.

Proper Kerni ng
Nov 14, 2011



Shooting Blanks posted:

Please let us know how that case goes, I'm already curious if that person will even face charges. Did your dashcam get their face as well?
I haven't had a callback from the sheriff's department yet, so Roidrage McGee probably sang them a sad, sad song about how I murdered his puppy and peed in his geraniums and threatened him with a rocket launcher or something and they've already written it off without considering the possibility of there being video evidence, but I had his vehicle on continuous dashcam while on the phone with the dispatcher until they told me their deputies had eyes on the Suspect Vehicle, so the description of the dumbass I gave them would probably be good enough for prosecution if it came down to that. If the rear window on my camper shell wasn't constantly covered in road dust, I'd have already installed a second rear-facing camera.

I'm just really super loving glad the dipshit didn't point a gun at me while he was right next to me at 80mph and screaming out the window, because I had my concealed carry pistol at a low ready at the time and I would absolutely have magdumped him in the face through my own side window if he had. There is a solid difference in immediate threat between "twenty yards ahead and sticking an arm out the window to point a snubbie backwards and aim with the side mirror I guess" and "motherfucker putting a muzzle on me from six feet away with nothing but tempered glass between us".

Cheezus gently caress what a moron. Something like one in six adults in this state carry a gun with them in public, half of them illegally; what the hell are people thinking when they act like this?

Coxswain Balls posted:



Here's hoping I don't wake up tomorrow and go oh god what have I done. In the heat of the moment though spite purchasing feels good as hell.
That's an extremely cumbersome way to mount a scout rifle to a bicycle; is the rider intended to be the spotter while you fire over their shoulder from the jump seat?

Action-Bastard
Jan 1, 2008



Proper Kerni ng posted:

That's an extremely cumbersome way to mount a scout rifle to a bicycle; is the rider intended to be the spotter while you fire over their shoulder from the jump seat?

Jehde
Apr 20, 2010

Who protects?


Grimey Drawer


CainFortea
Oct 15, 2004



Cyrano4747 posted:

If you’re going to read the mod queue at least clear a few reports.

Is this from the canpol haikuathon and people just doing reports on anyone who owns guns for the fact that they own guns?

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"



Fun Shoe

Proper Kerni ng posted:

I haven't had a callback from the sheriff's department yet, so Roidrage McGee probably sang them a sad, sad song about how I murdered his puppy and peed in his geraniums and threatened him with a rocket launcher or something and they've already written it off without considering the possibility of there being video evidence, but I had his vehicle on continuous dashcam while on the phone with the dispatcher until they told me their deputies had eyes on the Suspect Vehicle, so the description of the dumbass I gave them would probably be good enough for prosecution if it came down to that. If the rear window on my camper shell wasn't constantly covered in road dust, I'd have already installed a second rear-facing camera.

I'm just really super loving glad the dipshit didn't point a gun at me while he was right next to me at 80mph and screaming out the window, because I had my concealed carry pistol at a low ready at the time and I would absolutely have magdumped him in the face through my own side window if he had. There is a solid difference in immediate threat between "twenty yards ahead and sticking an arm out the window to point a snubbie backwards and aim with the side mirror I guess" and "motherfucker putting a muzzle on me from six feet away with nothing but tempered glass between us".

Cheezus gently caress what a moron. Something like one in six adults in this state carry a gun with them in public, half of them illegally; what the hell are people thinking when they act like this?

That's an extremely cumbersome way to mount a scout rifle to a bicycle; is the rider intended to be the spotter while you fire over their shoulder from the jump seat?

I'm sure I don't have to tell you this - but all the evidence in the world doesn't mean poo poo if they decide it doesn't. I had the license plate of the person who stuck a gun in my face and the detective said they caught a vehicle matching my description peeling out of the parking lot where it happened.

But, I fired the policeman who wrote the report, so big surprise the detective never returned my calls after the initial check in. Oh, he said this gem, "Even though your description matches the vehicle seen leaving...the video was grainy."

Sorry, I'm off my soapbox. I just get pissed when clearcut poo poo doesn't get pursued. I hope the do something, because rode road rage guy with a gun is going to get someone shot. Probably not the rear end in a top hat, either.

Fearless
Sep 3, 2003

DRINK MORE MOXIE



I have had the privilege of working with a justice facility dog in the past-- basically a dog that goes into court or into police interviews to support victims of or witnesses to some truly horrendous things. They are the most low-energy, chilled out creatures you will ever meet and are usually paired with a social worker after going through three or four years of intensive training to work in an emotional support role. They immediately recognize when people are hurting and home in on them to provide emotional support. In my practice I've done on scene crisis support-- I'm going in right after the police do to provide help, resources, counselling and guidance to the people affected by crime, sudden death or accidents and I'm there before the blood dries or funeral home transport departs. It is hard, brutal work because I've got to feel what my clients are feeling-- I don't get to hide from that.

Some time ago I answered what was probably the worst call I have ever responded to in person and was back at the office afterwards filling out paperwork trying to figure out how to get my head right before I got home. I could see all the warning signs of immense residual stress and knew that had to be dealt with before it got worse but wasn't quite sure of how to do that. Our justice facility dog turned up at that point-- he came in with his handler and strolled immediately up to me to do his emotional support thing. Forty minutes later I was able to go home and get some sleep because of the help of the Goodest of All Boys.

Dogs are the best and I will tolerate no argument.

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"



Fun Shoe

I didn’t know they had dogs trained for that specific role. Dogs are pretty dang great.

priznat
Jul 7, 2009

Let's get drunk and kiss each other all night.

Dogs are probably the only animal that can read human emotions, as demonstrated in a study from a few years back:

quote:

Many dog owners believe their pets are able to pick up on their moods, but scientists have demonstrated once and for all that man’s best friend can actually recognize emotions in humans.

Researchers found that by combining information from different senses dogs form abstract mental representations of positive and negative emotional states in people.

Previous studies have shown that dogs can differentiate between human emotions from signs such as facial expressions. But this is not the same as emotional recognition, according to Dr Kun Guo, from the University of Lincoln’s School of Psychology.

“This is the first empirical experiment that will show dogs can integrate visual and oratory inputs to understand or differentiate human emotion as dog emotion,” Kun told Reuters.

Experiments were carried out by a team of animal behavior experts and psychologists at the University of Lincoln, UK, and University of Sao Paulo, Brazil.

They presented 17 untrained domestic dogs with images and sounds conveying either positive or negative emotional expressions in humans and dogs.

The dogs used in the testing were unfamiliar with the procedure; avoiding any chance of conditioning. The vocalization sound accompanying the human faces was also unfamiliar.

“We used Portuguese to British dogs so they weren’t habituated with any words, they weren’t familiar with any words. So, we wanted to see if the dogs could assess the emotional content of the human voices and whether they would actually discriminate the emotional information within them,” explained Natalia De Souza Albuquerque, a PhD student in experimental psychology.

The results, published recently in the Royal Society journal Biology Letters, found that dogs spent significantly longer looking at the facial expressions which matched the emotional state of the vocalization, for both human and canine subjects.

“What we found is that when dogs were hearing positive sounds they would look longer to positive faces, both human and dog. And when they were listening to negative sounds they would look longer to negative, angry faces,” added De Souza Albuquerque.

The study shows that dogs can integrate two different sources of sensory information into a perception of emotion in both humans and dogs. This means dogs must have a system of internal categorization of emotional states. Among animal groups, it’s a cognitive ability previously only evidenced in primates.

The researchers believe that the ability to combine emotional cues may be inherent to dogs. As a highly social species, detecting emotions in humans would have helped them in their domestication by people over the generations.

Dr Kun Guo now wants to conduct more experiments in a bid to better understand how man’s canine companions decipher human emotions. “(So) we can see whether dogs can use a human-like principle or human-like strategy to perceive, understand and respond to human emotion,” he said.

“If we can understand this, surely we can understand dogs better.”

My dog seems better at reading people than other dogs, even. Bigger dogs make her really scared even if they’re friendly, she may have had a traumatic experience from one before we got her. Besides having her mother and siblings all shot because that’s how they do dog control where she’s from

Miso Beno
Apr 29, 2004


Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty


Fun Shoe

heres my goodboi and goodgirlboi

Proper Kerni ng
Nov 14, 2011



priznat posted:

Dogs are probably the only animal that can read human emotions, as demonstrated in a study from a few years back:
Nooooo, lots of pets can do that, our cats know when my wife is feeling bad and they both go sit on her at the same time; they usually can't stand each other. One of my friends has a couple of tiny noisy little parakeetish things that stop shrieking and just mutter at each other when she's obviously having a bad day, and they both do a little synchronized dance when they can tell she's happy about something.

Captain Log posted:

But, I fired the policeman who wrote the report, so big surprise the detective never returned my calls after the initial check in.
Shoulda took that poo poo to the local TV news station, spun it as an example of horrible abuse of the disabled by corrupt local law enforcement.

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"



Fun Shoe

I'm asking this here because I don't want to engage anyone on anything in social media. I'm also very much opposed to people storming capitol building while armed to protest trying to not die in a pandemic.

My Facebook is covered in memes with the armed Michigan protests, but with dildos photoshopped in place of the ARs. The main one was linked from a place called, "Feminist News."

Isn't making jokes about guys compensating for something with big dildos participating in some sort of shaming or toxic masculinity?

I repeat, I am asking you folk because I think you will shoot me straight and I won't lose anymore family or friends because of an advertising website.
-----------------------------------------------------
DOG PICTURE!!!

I managed to find a photo of my old dog as a puppy. I'm convinced Mort was actually a muppet and not a dog.



Mort was a pekingese who was extremely chill. He gave no shits and lived for belly rubs. I miss ya, Mort.

He was also a giant. He weighed over twenty pounds when most of the breed weighed far less than ten, if not less than five pounds.

Excuse the picture of eleven year old me. Although those pants ruled.

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"



Fun Shoe

Proper Kerni ng posted:

Shoulda took that poo poo to the local TV news station, spun it as an example of horrible abuse of the disabled by corrupt local law enforcement.

Trust me, I wanted to really badly. But that whole event triggered my worst bout of PTSD issues I've ever had. I spent most of the next month in a hotel on the top floor with a shotgun nearby. I understood I was being irrational and paranoid but I couldn't do poo poo about making it stop. It was awful. I just wanted it to all stop.

Fearless
Sep 3, 2003

DRINK MORE MOXIE



Captain Log posted:

I didn’t know they had dogs trained for that specific role. Dogs are pretty dang great.

They do, and they are extremely well trained. Very few dogs have the right temperament for the training and it branches partway through into a seeing-eye stream and justice facility support stream. Washouts become pets. These dogs possess an immense degree of emotional intelligence and curiousity, even for a dog and it's something of a running joke that if one of them comes up to say hello it means someone is hurting. I've seen ERT (basically a local version of a SWAT) officers strolling down the hall with their cased rifles drop what they are doing to spend a few moments with a justice facility dog. These creatures extend the practice of their handlers in a way that is difficult to describe until you have interacted with one or seen them in action-- they've recently been used on the stand during trials to help witnesses remain grounded during testimony and this has helped bring some right shitheads to justice.

They make a lot of eye contact and are very happy to just sit there and get rubs. The therapeutic value of something this simple is utterly staggering and long term I am looking at training as a handler and getting into forensic social work.

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Parts Kit
Jun 9, 2006

durr
i have a hole in my head
durr


Found a Jericho locally yesterday, which I've been looking for off and on for four plus years since AIM had some and sold out super fast. Snatched that guy up real quick like.

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