|
Three Hats for the Elven-kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone, Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die, One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie. One Hat to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Hat to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them, In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie. Sauron the Deceiver crafted Hats of Power in secrecy in the Sweatshops of Mordor. His first creation was a cowboy hat, fashioned in the likeness of Heath Ledger's in Brokeback Mountain. It was rather striking, and when he presented it to Galadriel, she said "What the everliving hell is THIS?!?" to which Sauron replied, "Try it on." So she did. And Sauron said, "You go girl!" Galadriel gazed upon her Mirror and said, "drat; I look fly!" and Sauron said, "For real, doh!"  Sauron gave out two more Hats (see Poem, above) and they were all hyped up, too. The 7 Dwarves were a bit more of a pain in the rear end, but some rare edition Lakers hats, Chicago Bulls signed leather caps, and a Elvis Presley cowboy hat that was actually worn by him with all the provenance to prove it sealed the deal.  Men? You know how THEY are. One of those motherfuckers settled for a Yankees hat signed by Pete Rose. I mean, seriously? Men after Sauron gave them Hats of Power:  Elrond got a hold of a Hat and wore it in the Lord of the Hats:  Alright, I'm pretty sick and tired of talking about Hats, so i'll let the rest of you debonaire people carry on the story of the Lord of the Hats, because I'm sure the tradition will live on. Pot Smoke Phoenix fucked around with this message at 00:58 on May 5, 2020 |
#
?
May 5, 2020 00:55
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 04:50 |
|
|
|
Early draft: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q92M7eC-AT8 |
|
#
?
May 5, 2020 01:22
|
|
|
|
Imagining carrying a big rear end hat all the way to Mordor but not being allowed to put it on. I hope it's collapsible |
|
#
?
May 5, 2020 11:57
|
|
|
|
The way the One Hat works to make you invisible is you put it on and people just don't recognize you. |
|
#
?
May 5, 2020 11:59
|
|
|
|
Finger Prince posted:The way the One Hat works to make you invisible is you put it on and people just don't recognize you. Early draft of the fellowship of the hat video game 
|
|
#
?
May 5, 2020 12:00
|
|
|
|
*fingers brim* you shall not pass
|
|
#
?
May 5, 2020 21:21
|
|
|
|
the part where they say “and my bow and my axe etc etc but they got barbershop quartet hats and they harmonize while holding them up
|
|
#
?
May 5, 2020 21:22
|
|
|
nut posted:the part where they say “and my bow and my axe etc etc but they got barbershop quartet hats and they harmonize while holding them up |
|
#
?
May 5, 2020 23:27
|
|
|
Why didn't Frodo just use his helicopter beanie to fly to Mount Doom? |
|
#
?
May 5, 2020 23:30
|
|
| That hats probably got some serious cave musk after being with Gollum and by that pond for an age or so. | |
|
#
?
May 6, 2020 00:04
|
|
|
|
nut posted:the part where they say “and my bow and my axe etc etc but they got barbershop quartet hats and they harmonize while holding them up Drink-Mix Man posted:Why didn't Frodo just use his helicopter beanie to fly to Mount Doom?
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2020 00:59
|
|
|
loool
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2020 01:37
|
|
|
meeting galadriel in.lothlorien gimli: *tips fedora* m'lady ---------------- |
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2020 01:38
|
|
|
|
Orc boss finding merry and pippins' custom snapbacks, "looks like steez is back on the menu bois" |
|
#
?
May 6, 2020 03:29
|
|
|
nut posted:*fingers brim* you shall not pass The Lord of the Rings but with hats porn parody |
|
#
?
May 6, 2020 05:05
|
|
albany academy posted:Orc boss finding merry and pippins' custom snapbacks, "looks like steez is back on the menu bois" ---------------- |
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2020 06:02
|
|
|
|
albany academy posted:Orc boss finding merry and pippins' custom snapbacks, "looks like steez is back on the menu bois" |
|
#
?
May 6, 2020 12:46
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 04:50 |
|
|
albany academy posted:Orc boss finding merry and pippins' custom snapbacks, "looks like steez is back on the menu bois" |
|
#
?
May 6, 2020 21:26
|
|
